🕳️

The universe’s option.

You’ll love because you were made to love. The dark side of the moon is only dark from this side.

You’ll be caught in a bunch of webs connecting all the souls. Not all of them will unravel. That’s alright.

You’re alright.

Let the earth cradle you. Let those arms hold your skin and bones.

You’re the sun. You’re the moon.

You breathe out stars with every exhale. You hold hope in your heart and choke on relief.

We lay with dinosaur bones.

The waves know. The soil grows.

Why don’t you know?

Poke the surface of the barrier and watch the ripples.

Feed yourself fire.

until i step foot in the palace of my demise

Oh mother, what have i done?

what have i done to him?

this hateful torment erased the soft edges of my soul and it turned me into a chameleon

i convulsed and bled into his hatred choking on nothingness

oh, love….don’t forgive me, don’t forgive me, don’t!

let me go into that pit of a thousand outstretched hands waiting and beckoning

curse me

lov

curse me again with those hands

don’t utter a word

one sound and i’ll run back

ill look back

i won’t look back

im not supposed to look back

and i can’t turn. they stop me from turning

I want to hug your heart. I want your skin. To sink beneath and melt into your bones

I want to kiss and kiss and kiss until our mouths mold into one and we no longer have lips. There’s no need for words-

I want to hold you in the hours of dusk and dawn, reveling in the fact that you are mine

Admiring you is a form of reverence. Loving you unconditionally..

Unconditional

In order

In order to feel

In order to feel what I’ve never felt before

To taste to love to love—

Poke corners of the earth

Skin to dirt

Touch and hold rainbow hands

Dip my head in the sky

Fall over

need more #narusasu fics where naruto’s having a harrowing panic attack over sasuke leaving/having bounties on his head and just over sasuke in general bc it's canon and integral to their story

naruto’s biggest goal is to get him home and make him come to his ‘senses’. if he can’t save him, he’ll die with him. the boy himself said “i’ll bear the burden of your hatred and i’ll die with you” which was one of the biggest confessions and bigger than a mere ily

matter of fact, let me see sasuke panicking too. panicking after coming back to konoha and feeling alienated 100x more than before and feeling jealousy and resentment bc suddenly there is no space for him here. suddenly, naruto “doesn’t” want him here. he overthinks

tw/ suicide

Often, I see many claim that people didn’t reach out to Suguru when he was falling apart completely. I disagree. To add on, he was too far gone to accept the help he needed. His favorite person couldn’t save him. As twisted as it may sound, I made this edit to comfort myself. It helps me process.

Suguru regretted his actions in my eyes. He loathed himself. He was fighting an array of himself thats shattered into a million pieces. His last goal was to die by the other’s hands. And he achieved it. If he shall fall, then it must be his hands.

I can imagine Suguru contemplating suicide a million times. His death holds meaning because his one and only took a hold of it. He didn’t want his death to have meaning. He wanted to go alone, but Satoru Gojo wouldn’t allow it. In every lifetime, he’d remain by his side ‘till the end.

Satoru’s last words to Suguru. Most say it was I love you. I just find comfort in knowing it was something that made the sorcerer smile so sweetly even if his features were etched with pain.

Curse me a little at the end.

I can imagine the breakdown Satoru had before he went through with it. Clutching onto Suguru’s robes, shaking him with tears streaming down his face. All of Suguru’s pain exploding beneath his ribs from witnessing how broken the other was.

Don’t make me do it, Suguru. Don’t give up. Don’t make me.

Please, please, please.

All Suguru could do was hold one of Satoru’s hands, lips stretched into a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He remains silent as the other continues breaking until his voice becomes ragged and hoarse.

I’m gonna be all alone, please.

Suguru’s eyes never burned this hot. Satoru never felt this numb as he watched his own hands snuff the life out of his most precious paramour.

I love you, Satoru kept mumbling as he held the lifeless body close to his chest, unaware of what he had just done. He kissed the tips of Suguru’s fingers and nodded understandably.

“At least curse me a little at the end.”

-

“Satoru. Satoru. Why did you allow them steal your life? Your six eyes. I can’t find you. I don’t see you. I know your soul lingers here. I feel you. I’ve always felt you. You hold dreams. Dreams bigger than my twisted ones. Why’re you here?! I demand you leave! You don’t belong here. Not on the. same level as someone like me. We both know this. You feel tender. You ̷D̷̷i̷̷s̷̷g̷̷u̷̷s̷̷t̷ me, Satoru. Stop it this instant. I can’t hear you. I can’t see you. I can’t. I refuse to be swayed like this when I can’t even see ̶T̶̶o̶̶u̶̶c̶̶h̶ you. You’re helpless, aren’t you? Can’t stay away, Satoru. Had to follow me even in death. What did they do to you? Satoru? Maybe If I wasn’t so selfish, you wouldn’t be here right now. You’d still be in that world with people who care about you. Planting those dreams and watching them bloom one by one. And I would’ve watched from here. Don’t you resent me? Stop being ridiculous and end these signals. Despise me. Curse me. Curse me. Curse me. W-why’re you here? Leave. Only Satoru Gojo would find me after my end. Crazy bastard. Are you whole? Satoru, come. Come to me. Come and curse me. Hold me. Hold onto me for good this time.”

Every atom that makes Satoru Gojo thrums and twinkles with anticipation. They beat in tandem, full of life and slowly come together to solidify into flesh and bone. Satoru lets out at a soft gasp as the last atoms find their rightful place in the darkness of his pupils.

Satoru stands in front of Suguru, whose eyes moisten with decades-old tears. The reflection of his soul and carrier of his heart stands before him in all his glory. Satoru’s features contort and they stretch when a crooked smile takes over his face. Suguru’s expression remains indifferent as tears find their way down his cheeks, falling into the abyss of stars. Two words repeat in Suguru’s head as they rot on his tongue.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Dear Ash,

I'm sitting down with a drink for the last time. Thinking about you of course. I have nothing better to do. My soul doesn't allow it. Waited for you to show up. I'm still waiting. I've waited long enough. It's raining outside. The New York City chill touches my bones. Spring never came. Earlier, the constant ache lodged in my throat loosened. I came to a realization. You ran after me, so I must run after you. You're waiting for me, aren't you? I'm sorry my love. It's taken me this long. I've been sick with longing, I no longer think straight. Today, my mind is clear. I deep cleaned the apartment. I deleted all my photos. It was hard to delete photos of you and buddy. I donated my cameras. I took a bath. I tidied up the bed. What a cold bed it is without your warmth to soothe my skin. The ache under my skin never seized. The pain in my jaw from clenching it too much is unbearable sometimes. My stomach has become an abandoned warehouse. Anything I ate without you tasted rotten. My taste buds often crave you. Two years ago, I was cursed with hand tremors. They became worse with time. I think my hands miss you as much as I do. They're restless. Can you blame them? It became a nuisance to take care of all these parts.՞°·. The Lord denied me mercy and created me with all this flesh and bone. I could've been stardust. I could've been all around you, Ash. It's okay, I'm on my way. I told you, I'll always be on your side.՞°·. I'm running to my rightful place. The sky rages outside, but it is a gentle night. My soul belongs with you. I'll go with the rain.

Until we meet again,

You said love is the most twisted curse and that's why I asked you to curse me at the end.

-

Love me, Satoru.

-

Solitude and loneliness coexist like you and I until we can no longer handle the brunt of it.

I suffer for the rest of my days with blood stained hands and a missing heartbeat. With a permanent needle in my throat.

Did you take my infinity from me? Why does everything wrong touch my skin?

This ache will kill me. All because you want to finish me even after death.

Do I deserve the privilege of being punished after death?

Come back to me. Take me properly. Punish me accordingly.

You remain my one and only despite, despite, despite...

You left me permanently injured.

When did I become unrecognizable to the point of no return?

Why'd you stop me back then from obtaining true freedom?

I craved the hard impact with the ground because it would set me free.

-

I've become glass and metal. Barely any flesh left to feel human. This body will never know or feel the tenderness you have to offer.

From the moment we met, my bones became brittle with desperation. My skin suffered.

The ache in the pit of my stomach transformed into molten lava. You'll never touch this magma with your calloused hands. It calls for you to consume it anyway.

-

The universe beckons me to take flight.

When did you befriend the universe, Jayce?

How did it truly feel to put a gaping hole in my chest? Was it liberating?

I felt your love and care within the force. Do not regret. Do not falter. Perhaps, this is our fate. To kill or be killed. To give, give, and receive nothing.

I'm elated knowing you finally took the one thing I'd only give you and no one else without my permission.

You're more than life's suffering.

I've forgotten what it feels like to be cold since the first time I had the privilege of being in your presence.

I'll tie your burdens to my ankles.

Wipe the tear that hangs from my soul.

I'll do this all over again if it meant you would hold me for a fraction of a second.

Allow my submission to free you from this torment.

I demand the universe let you bloom.

Take my heart and my body.

I'll swallow the ache deep in your bones.

Pass the taste of death on your taste buds onto me.

I accept my end here beside you on the astral plane.

Let the universe witness every atom of my body giving itself to you.