My interpretation of Ellernate, bit incoherent:
I have a personal niche-ish idea of Ellernate having covert dissociative identity disorder, I really like the perception of Ellernate struggling with amnesia, lack of identity, and overall struggles of those with DID. I believe he isn’t aware of it, nor will he be unless he got professional help.
This lead to me believing that Ellenate has struggled with repeated trauma (whilst I think mental abuse is the best way to describe my belief of what happened, it could really be anything repeated. Up to your belief.) from birth.
Some point along the lines, he ran away from home and had been living the high life since.
- relationships/friendships
His childhood lead to him being a people pleaser, and wanting people to like him and rely on him. He doesn’t form meaningful relationships, however. Instead he has a disconnect from most people.
Ellernate feels like he has a huge gap of “who” he is and “what” he is. So there is a wonder of if anything he has ever done was genuine at all, these stops makes him struggle with forming actual relationships that are more than just deals.
However this yearning lead him to wanting to have someone who loves him truly, platonical and or not. This yearning, along with his people pleasing traits, lead him to encouraging unhealthy behaviors and having a fake positivity with others.
If one or two people truly relied on him, then he would self-isolate and try to better them in his “own” way. Something something, Ellernate having a savior complex to his special people would be sick.
I also think a lot of his identity is sourced from others, so if his friends is mad , HE’S mad. Despite him not understanding why they’re so mad to begin with. (He’s a hypocrite)
Bc of Ellernate’s lack of identity, I don’t think he even knows that he realized that he mimics and takes from other people around him. A lot of his traits are stolen from those who he “admires” or is “friends” with, or even his own “persona” (the people pleasing traits) of himself because he can hardly remember what he’s like on his own.
This mimicking blurs together to make his own “persona” at some point, but it’s not really who he is as a person. He’s unsure who he is as a person, since he “changes up” every week, at least that’s how he views it as.
- he does care for people
Despite everything, he does care for people. He just doesn’t understand how to use his care in a way that doesn’t value his own self-worth on it. His love for others isn’t fictional, despite him thinking that it is.
I like to believe it’s care, but his struggle and need to feel important gets in the way. He could learn to be healthy, he could learn to be better, but he already feels so amazing when his special people, trll him he’s special.
He does his actions because he thinks that it’s the right thing to do, he believes in encouraging isolation and other unhealthy behaviors, bc he views it as love.
I think Ellernate tries to over-compensate himself by doing actions around the around the house, acts of service and physical touch is a huge love language for him.
He wants to do the cleaning, the trades, and basically everything. It, once more, add values to him. Despite this, I think his room is very messy in a “I know where everything is, so don’t touch it” way.
