Excellence in procrastination

You're dead serious. I'm alive silly. We're not the same

tried to google search for that post that's like.. something about squids and it goes "the squirterrrrrrrrr" and believe it or not that did not show me the thing i was looking for

hey guys ✌️ just checking in. "the squirter meme" didnt bring it up either

God the like Generic High Fantasy Elf frustrates me so much as a fan of Tolkiens elves who are like. Both balls to the wall insane and canonically fun at parties

They’re fairies. they’re in a musical. They host crazy feasts with live music and hopping dance floors and great booze. If they get too sad they die. They’re psychic. They’re creative and curious and they live forever and never ever forget any of it. They’re ghosts

They committed almost all war crimes imaginable.

Oh me oh my 👀 (I am looking disrespectfully)

I support this depiction of jimmy fallon as an absolute numbskull

“How dare you! That is my charm and how my brain works! If you don’t like it you can just go to jail without having fun”

Welcome to the Protestant Work Ethic where if you are not working for 16 hours a day you are a Sinner that will Burn In Hell. Unless of course you are rich in which case you are Blessed by God and can go to Heaven without lifting a finger.

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

a hoe never gets lyme disease