Be our guest

i hate the boys who have tumblrs that are all ass pics and weed and codeine like chill out elliot you drank one beer once and threw up cause it was too much fuck you

i’m DONE

@kingduck303

When My Uncle, who’s completely deaf, was about 17, he got in a heated argument with my great aunt, his mother.  They were furiously signing back and forth.  Suddenly they both stopped and started laughing and laughing.  My great aunt had accidentally signed, “Don’t you yell at me.”

If I witnessed that Bruh omg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Use your inside hands!”

USE YOUR INSIDE HANDS IM

If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.

This is my new favorite post

I’m the fan

what a bunch of lil shits

blossom you dont even have a fucking nose

Gotta make em laugh so they forget you ugly

god is real but you can only see him behind the 7/11 at 3:34 am after you down 6 and a half 5 hour energys

this post and “I’m gonna take 1000 benadryl and fuck my shadow self” are really their own unique category of post and it’s my favorite category