aya

a short jeonghan x reader smut

——————————————————————————

in the midst of it all, your phone decided to ring. jeonghan stopped what he was doing to check on who was calling you. as soon as he saw the caller id — he smirked.

you were fucked out of your mind. your hair was messy and you were sweating everywhere. it was a majestic view and it was all for him.

he leaned down to kiss you messily as he continued to thrust deep and it turned you to a moaning mess. he pulled away to hand you your phone.

“answer the phone, baby.” he said in a seductive tone which made you even more fucked out.

you check to see the caller and you knew you couldn’t answer the call. you look at him through hooded eyes and said, “j-j-jeonghan, i can’t.”

he thrusted into you hard and leaned down to bite your shoulder. you arched your back with the sudden action but he held you by your waist to pin you down.

“if you don’t answer the call, i will baby. i’ll fuck you so hard that you scream out my name and all he’s left to do is listen.”

you had no choice but to accept the call.

“joshua?” you answered with a normal voice. jeonghan was impressed. he smirked as he thursts into you slowly and scatter kisses all over your body.

“turn on speaker, baby.” jeonghan whispered and you followed immediately.

“hey (y/n), what’s your plans for tonight? do you want to grab dinner with me?” joshua asked in the sweetest voice possible.

jeonghan silently chuckled as he fastens his thrusts which made you bite your lip so hard you swear you could taste blood.

“i-i can’t, joshua. i have dinner with my brothers. i’ll text you when i’m free again.” you let out a quiet sigh when you were able to form a complete sentence.

“good job, baby.” jeonghan whispered and suddenly thrusted into you in an insane pace. it made you throw the phone on the other side of the bed as you grip on tight to the sheets.

“oh, okay. i’ll wait for your text. anyways, i got to get back to work. i’ll see you soon, (y/n).” joshua spoke on the phone.

“bye!” you shouted and jeonghan immediately ended the call. he leaned down to kiss you, still keeping up with his fast pace.

but then he suddenly pulled out and gets up from the bed. you gasp as he carries you to the kitchen table. he puts you down for a rough kiss that didn’t last long before he bent you over the table.

without warning, he entered you again which brought out a loud moan from your mouth.

he licked his lips as he grips on tight to your waist and says,

Time.

seungcheol x oc

genre: angst ?

words: 968

——————————————————————————

We are all here on borrowed time.

Seungcheol knew that too well. He grew up in a Catholic household who was obsessed with Sunday services, random preaches, and bible studies. The quotation never left him ever since he was a child. It felt like a warning to him, a curse even.

And he knew he was right because his intuitions are never wrong. He sat and stared at the wall blankly as his family was praying while crying their eyes out beside him. Everything just went null for him. For fuck’s sake, he was just 19. He didn’t possibly think his life would be this short.

You never know when it’s your time.

He silently thought while sitting alone in an empty classroom. He purposely went to class way too early to escape from his paranoid family. He gets that his situation is no joke at all, but he felt like he was eventually going to go crazy too if he stayed at home.

The feeling of a pen hitting the sole of his shoe broke him off from his thoughts. He looked down to get the item and was in shock as he looked forward from where he sat.

We live within borrowed time, and we walk in rented shoes.

That’s a new quotation that Seungcheol learned from you. Ever since the both of you were way too early for the literature lecture, you became inseparable. He was mesmerized by the sight of you in just one stare, and you grew fond of him because of his smile.

Being in each other’s company was a comfort and even a form of medication to him. He bet you didn’t know that. And it’s not like he wanted to go further than where you were now, it’d be hard for you if he suddenly vanished. He might be in pain, but he’d hate to see you in the same state.

If we fade, we fade.

You were keeping a secret from Seungcheol as well. It’d take a dumb person to not realize the tension between the two of you, but you never did anything about it and neither did he. It made you wonder if he was ignoring the chemistry which you lowkey hated.

But honestly, it was for the best. You stared at your hand as an old nurse injected a needle through it in order to let a medicine flow through your veins whatsoever. You laid back as the process of the chemotherapy started but was quickly interrupted when you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

You sat right across each other in silence. He was sipping from his tea while avoiding eye contact and you were pretending to be indulged in a croissant that was too blunt for your taste. When enough was enough, you dropped your fork on the plate which caused a noise that got Seungcheol’s attention.

“We both lied to each other, huh?” You said with a chuckle and it brought a small smile to his face.

“I guess we did.”

But let us go out having loved, laughed, and forgiven.

Fate was insane. In the moment where the both of you felt lost, you found yourselves within the other person. The feeling was more than a bliss to find a person who understood what you were going through because they’re in the same situation as you are.

But fate was also cruel. It knows that the time is running out, but it only brought you together now. Watching each other go through horrific symptoms and physical changes was a pain in the ass to see.

In other people’s perspective, your lives were a shit show. And don’t get them wrong, it was. But the comfort of the other made it bearable.

The chirping of the birds rang in your ears as the two of you sat down in the hospital’s garden. The clock is ticking but silence wrapped the both of you once again. Maybe the tight hold of his hand on yours was enough words and so is the little kisses he left on your fingertips.

Seungcheol was glad that your pen slipped off your fingers that day. He was happy to spend his borrowed time with you. You taught him how to live when he was dying, and he hoped he made you feel the same way.

You chuckled at his small gestures. He didn’t know it yet, but the same thoughts were running through your head. He made you laugh when you knew nothing but sadness.

“I’m sorry that our story had to be like this, (y/n).” Seungcheol finally broke the silence.

“Why are you sorry? It’s better than the ones we watched in those films.” You joked which made him laugh.

“But hey. If it makes you feel better, it’s okay.” You spoke seriously which made him hold on to your hand even tighter.

This is where the story was coming to an end. This is where the borrowed time is about to be returned to whatever entity or destiny handed it in the first place.

“I love you, (y/n).” He said, but you knew he wasn’t done speaking yet.

“I don’t know how many borrowed times I have left, but I’ve been praying for maybe a last one that’s a bit longer so I can grow old with you there.” You felt tears coming out of your eyes and you were absolutely sure he was crying as well.

“I’ll find you again next time, Seungcheol.” You said as you felt weaker without the liquids being injected into your body.

Seungcheol smiled to himself as he felt the weakness start to kick in as well. He was tired, and you were too. But he never lets you have the last word.

Talking To The Moon.

hoshi (soonyoung) x oc

genre: angst

(idk how many words i apologize i wrote this story using my phone only!!)

——————————————————————————

“I know you’re somewhere out there...” Hoshi spoke softly as he sat in the corner of his bed. It was night time again and he was being swallowed by the dark. But it wasn’t anything new to him. He grew used to the scenario.

Broken was an understatement to describe the man who was talking to himself. No one could find an exact word to explain the state he was in — but he was sure that none of the people here on earth would want to feel the indescribable word anyways.

“Somewhere far away.” The man spoke again as he looked at the night sky. It was filled with stars once again, but it was still missing the one thing he always looked out for during the dark nights.

He wasn’t always like this. He was once a happy man, but when his happiness was taken away from him, so did the man that everyone once knew.

“I want you back... I want you back.” Hoshi spoke blankly, eyes still glued on the night sky.

All the nights were like these ever since he lost himself. No one could reach out to him or make him leave the room he was in. He refused to and would just create a fuss to anyone who tried to get him out.

He was called a hopeless case.

“My neighbors think I’m crazy, but they don’t understand.” He started telling stories to the night sky hoping that it’d come out.

It was true that certain people found him insane. But what do they know about what happened to him anyways? He didn’t give a shit or two for what people had to say.

“You’re all I have. You’re all I have.” He repeated the same words again and again.

His whole life revolved around a person who he depended his happiness on. The person was filled with so much positivity and smiles that it influenced him to be a go lucky man that the world got to know.

But when he lost that person, he lost everything.

“At night, when the stars light up my room..” Hoshi described the scenario he always found himself in at evening hours.

“I sit by myself,” Hoshi spoke again.

But he paused for a while as the thing he waited most for finally came out. He felt tears rolled down his eyes as he looked at the moon.

The moon was beautiful and it shined so bright — it reminded him of you. You were always so beautiful and outshined everyone in the room.

“Talking to the moon.” He said as the voices in his head asked him what he was doing.

Hoshi always knew ever since that the person he grew to love was sick. But he always looked at things like you did - in a positive way. Although that was never really the case for you cause you know that you’ll never survive the sickness you had.

And he slowly started to realize that as well when you laid weak in the bed a few months back where he was sitting on right now.

On your death bed, you promised the man that if he ever misses you, you’d be on the other side of the moon. He hold on to those words so tight that he ended up waiting for the moon to come out every night ever since you were gone.

“Trying to get to you.” Hoshi spoke through his loud sobs as memories of the night you left him came rushing back.

He hated the world for always taking the good people away first. And he hated it more from taking the only person he found true happiness in.

The world was always against Hoshi, but you stood up and fought with him. Life was just getting better with you in it, but you had to leave so damn soon.

“In hopes you’re on the other side, talking to me too.” Hoshi murmured. Words barely understandable through his endless crying as he thinks of you.

For months and months, it’s always been Hoshi and the Moon. He talked to it endlessly even though it’ll never respond back to him.

He always let his imagination run course and have delusions that you’re replying to every word he was telling you.

He could never get pass the denial stage that you were gone and the moon became his coping mechanism to hold on to the idea of you.

But he finally took a good look at the moon that was slowly being covered by the dark clouds.

When I Was Your Man.

joshua x oc au

genre: angst

words: 1233 words

——————————————————————————

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now.

Joshua woke up covered in cold sweat. He sighed when he dreamt of a memory he long wished to forget, but it always came back to haunt him. Especially now that he’s back to the place where he had countless of regrets in. He sat up from the bed and felt empty. The last time he slept here, he wasn’t alone. He shook of the thought to get ready for the day.

Our song on the radio but it doesn’t sound the same.

He was now driving to the place where he had to be. He dreaded to go to the event in the first place, but he didn’t want to show bad riddance. So, there he was. And just his luck, he chuckled as the car’s radio played a familiar song. The song that brought back a thousand events in the past that he’d do anything to get back; but it’s not like it was possible anyways.

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down.

He arrived at the venue and was immediately greeted by his friends. He offered them smiles and a few handshakes to wipe off the worries in their faces when they saw that he came. He wondered if he was good at concealing his feelings as his friends started to talk about you. He felt the familiar pain of longing for your presence – but it was pain that was impossible to relief himself from.

Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name.

Joshua, together with his friends, entered the main location for the day when various event place organizers instructed them to settle in their seats as the event was about to start. All he could hear was your name. You were the star of the show and everyone was excited to see you. Even he was, but he knows the excitement will die down fast and be replaced with another emotion.

And he was right. When the doors opened, and you entered with a white long dress and a flowered detail veil – he was in awe to see how beautiful you were. You finally looked so happy.

It all just sounds like ooh, ooh, ooh, hoo.

When he watched you walk down the long red carpeted aisle, he couldn’t hear any of the choirs singing nor the people clapping. It felt like dead silence to him to finally see you walking down a church aisle, but the loud breaking of his heart broke the silence when he watched your parents hand you off to the man you’re marrying.

He always thought he’d be the one thanking your parents for finally lending you their daughter’s hand.

Mm, too young, too dumb to realize.

As the priest made the audience sat down, he couldn’t help but feel the regrets rushing into him again. It’s been five long years since he last saw you because he left without a word. He saw how tired you were in the relationship as you juggled taking care of him and being in graduate school at the same time.

He felt like a burden. So, he left you to let you focus on pursuing your career and thought he can come back when you have less on your plate. But he sure was wrong, when he received an email of your wedding invitation the day before he planned to go back to town.

That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand.

He hated himself from depending on you while he was lost in his career. He knows he lacked in a lot of aspects as being your fiancé a few years back. He worked a lot to have you in his arms, but he never once showed the same efforts when the relationship started getting old.

Joshua wanted to make up for it. But the day he saw you breaking down in the bedroom as you continuously chant that everything was a big burden to you, he didn’t know what else to think. The guilt started to consume him which led him to his inevitable dumb decision to leave.

When he could’ve just stayed and promised to make things easier.

Should have gave you all my hours, when I had a chance.

He can’t count the number of times he wanted a do over. He wanted to go back to the day he packed all of his stuff from home and speed off with his car to a different city without a trace. Because if he could, he would just tell himself to get his shit together and work himself out to be a better man for you.

He had numerous chances in the past to make it work with the love of his life, but it was too late now.

Everyone started cheering as the bride and groom shared a kiss that concealed their marriage for life. Joshua stood up from his seat and forced himself to clap at the scene in front of his eyes even though it hurts. He badly wanted to be that man, but he knows he doesn’t deserve it anyways.

Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance.

As Joshua entered his car to drive to the reception, he started to think back to the days when the both of you were happy. Life was pure bliss, and he would trade the wealth he has now to relive the happiness. You had so much passion in life and he adored the way you danced wherever it might be.

And the passion started burning out because of him too. He was as useless as a rock when he didn’t pass the licensure exam which broke him and left him vulnerable for you to take care of. You had to give up the thing you enjoyed most just to balance him and graduate school.

The spark in your eyes was different whenever you danced. May it be solo or with a group. But nothing could beat the illuminating spark when the two of you shared a small dance in your small apartment.

Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man.

But he was way wrong. He looked straight into your eyes as you shared a dance with your husband, and it looked like it was galaxy filled with stars. The brightest stars he has ever seen.

You found your happiness and passion again. That was the thing he hoped for when he left. But one thing he never expected was for you to find another man in the process. But could he blame you? Of course not. As he thought back into it, you didn’t deserve anyone close to what he was before. You sacrificed so much for him, but he never gave the same energy back.

He took one last look at you in the dance floor and finally excused himself from the table. As he walked to the parking lot, he still hated himself for the past, but he was happy that you’re happy. You finally found yourself that you lost because of his selfishness, and that was more than enough to him.

He would’ve done so many things different back when he was your man. But he wasn’t anymore.

Silence.

minghao x reader au

genre: angst

words: 1855

——————————————————————————

“No fucking way.” You shouted at your friends who was laughing way too loud to hear your protests after Dokyeom gave you an impossible dare.

The cafeteria table that you sat on started getting attention from the other students around. You hide behind your friend as people gave each one of you rude stares. You groaned at your loud ass friends.

You stare at a man from the other end of the room. He sat in silence as he devoured the unfamiliar food that was in his hands. Even his friends looked so intimidating as they sat with him quiet as hell as well. You couldn’t do it. They all looked scary for you.

“It’s the rules, (y/n). You have to do it!” Seungkwan complained when you sat still in your seat. Jeonghan followed your eyes that was staring at the other table and he bursted into laughter again.

Why am I friends with these people again? You silently think as you stood up and walked up slowly to the table that you were fearing to approach. Each footstep you took felt heavy and you felt sweat forming in your forehead. You bit your lip as you stopped in front of table.

All of them turned their attention to you and you gulped. Let’s just get this over with.

“Xu Minghao?” You called out the name and he just rose your eyebrow at you. His friends started looking at you and the boy alternatively.

You took a deep breath, “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

The men at the table started coughing at your question. You could even see some of them staring at you with wide eyes and you just wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You turn back to look at your friends still laughing and even recording the entire scene.

You curse silently before Minghao snapped his fingers in front of your face bringing back your attention to their table. You were taken aback when he had a smile in his face.

And you were even more taken aback when he spoke, “Yeah sure, why not?”

A nervous mess. That was what you were as you walked beside Minghao in the nearby park by your house. It was way too awkward for you, but it was peaceful for the guy beside you. It was quiet, exactly how he liked it.

But he what he fancied better was getting to enjoy this scenery with someone. He turned to look at you and he could see that you still had nervous written all over you. He sighed and decided to talk to you.

“So, what made you ask me out on a date, (y/n)?” He asked which snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Can I be honest?” You asked. He gave you a smile once again and nodded.

You were starting to notice that Minghao wasn’t as cold as he seemed to be. He always smiled at you and his company wasn’t that bad. It was just way too quiet to what you’re used to.

“I lost a bet, and this was the dare. But everyone thought you’d say no.” You said nervously and that made Minghao giggled.

His giggle caught you off guard. It was such a sweet sound. As sweet as his smile.

“That’s fine. But let’s make the most out of your dare, shall we?” Minghao asked as he lent you his hand to take. You finally smiled that afternoon which made the guy’s heart flutter.

You took his hand as the two of you continued to enjoy the nature in silence.

The days passed by and you became inseparable with Minghao. You spent all of your breaks together, and even went on dates after school hours. So, when your brother called you to go home immediately after school, the two of you were sad as fuck.

But either way, Minghao let you go and waved you goodbye as you reached the front of your house. He was about to walk away when a voice called out to him. He looked back and saw your brother approaching him.

“Minghao, answer me honestly.” Joshua asked him and Minghao gestured him to go ahead.

“Does my sister know?” Minghao stood in silence and broke eye contact with your brother. Joshua let out a sigh as he rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“You need to tell her or I’m going to break this off.” Joshua said sternly which caused Minghao to bring back eye contact with him.

“Don’t worry.” Minghao said and walked away from your house.

He wasn’t going to be here for any longer anyways.

Minghao has always had his eyes on you. But you never noticed because no one gave any attention to him anyways. He was always labelled as intimidating since he rarely spoke and had a resting bitch face. But that’s because he didn’t want to be close with anyone.

He didn’t want to waste building a relationship that was bound to end anyways. He wasn’t meant to stay here forever. That’s why he was so distant from everyone and only had casual friends to eat with.

But he wanted to experience being with you. He hated himself. He felt selfish from growing such a beautiful bond with you that would have to finish sooner or later. Yet how could he say no when you finally asked him out?

He stared at the pills in his hands. His mother just told him that they were leaving for another country in a few weeks to attain a better healthcare system that could cure his illness. But he knew that this time around, it wouldn’t matter anyways.

Joshua knew all about this because Minghao was reported to the clinic a bunch of times in where he interned in. Your brother took care of him a lot of times when he started feeling symptoms, so he couldn’t blame Joshua from being overprotective of you.

His brother knew damn well how the relationship would end. Minghao finally swallowed the pills in his hand and laid down on his bed.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep just thinking of you that night.

Minghao took you to the park where you first had your date. You were used to the silence that lingered around the both of you whenever you went to parks. Hand-in-hand and just appreciating the beauty of the what the world has to offer.

Minghao looked at the beauty of the lights reflecting on the lake, the vibrant colors of the flowers that was spread around the park, the different shades of greens in the leaves, and you. He took into detail each and every part in your face so he could keep it in his mind forever.

You turned to look at him and stared directly at his eyes.

“You’re the most beautiful one here, my (y/n).” Minghao spoke which made you blush. You playfully hit him in his arm, but he just smiled at you.

He turned to face you. He held both of your hands in his and stared at your eyes once again.

“Is it too soon to say I’ve already grown fond of you?” Minghao asked with tears forming in his eyes. He saw the way your face softens but he just shook his head to tell you he was fine.

“You’re the best thing that happened to me.” Minghao whispered as he wrapped you in a tight hug. Now you were sure that he was crying because his sobs were loud, and his body was shaking.

You quickly comforted the boy and gestured him to sit down in the bench.

“I need to tell you something, (y/n).” Minghao spoke through his sobs. You were caressing his back the whole time and gave him a comforting smile.

“I know, Minghao. I know.” You responded which startled him.

You weren’t dumb. You often visited your brother in the clinic and always saw Minghao there. You grew curious about the boy because you saw him around school and wondered why he was there. You knew that he had an illness that was yet to find a cure.

Ever since then, you baited your friends to dare you to go out with him. He was a beautiful boy, and he didn’t deserve to be alone in his journey. You just needed a quick push from a dare to finally spend time with him.

And you never regretted it. Minghao was a beautiful person. You understood why he enjoyed the silence because he loved just taking everything in his sight in before he had to leave the world behind.

It hurt to think that the boy you grew to love had to leave so soon. If you could, you would give up the world just to make him stay here with you.

“It’s okay, Minghao. I understand.” You spoke softly.

You watched the boy stand up and pluck a flower that was across from the bench you two sat on. He quickly got back on his feet and gave you the flower before sitting down again.

“The prettiest flower for the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes upon.” He told you as you two examined the flower in your hand.

“That’s a Dahlia flower. It demonstrates long lasting bond and commitment between two people.” He explained as he played with the fingers on your free hand.

Once again, you two sat in silence as tears fell from your eyes as well. Minghao was quick to wipe your tears away even though he was crying like you.

“I commit to find you in the next life and create a bond that will last longer in there since I can’t do it in this one.” Minghao spoke as he wiped your tears away.

He let out a loud sob after what he said which made you feel like you were choking on your own tears.

Eventually, the sobs died down as he laid his head on your shoulder and held on tightly on your hands – the dahlia flower intertwined in between.

“Thank you for letting me love you, (y/n).” Minghao spoke – the cuts in his words because of his heavy breathing made the tears in your eyes fall once again.

“I’m sorry I have to leave you. I promise I tried to fight. I really tried.” It was obvious that Minghao was having a harder time speaking as his breathing became more labored.

So, you fought back the tears and shushed him to make him stop from talking, “There’s no need to be sorry, Hao. You fought a good fight, but if it’s getting too much, It’s okay.”

You felt Minghao nod on your shoulders. You were scared to look at him, but you could feel his breathing start to decrease and his grip on your hands start to loosen.

“I love you, Xu Minghao.”

A final tear from his face hit your shoulder as he took one last deep breath before it completely stopped.

Beliefs.

junhui x reader au

genre: angst

words: 1690

sequel of: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647268607701794816/dreams

——————————————————————————

Jun always believed that in a relationship – the pair must be complete polar opposites in order for it to work. That’s what he always told his friends because he lived by that words. Mainly because he saw how bad it went down with his parents who had the same personality.

But he watched his friends flirt in front of him with a sour expression. He didn’t even try to hide it since he hated seeing them all over each other. Yes, he admits he was happy when they finally got over themselves and confessed to one another, but this. This is where they crossed the line.

“I really think we should be studying for the Anatomy exam.” Jun said with an obvious annoyance in his voice. The couple in front of him stopped from their giggling and Wonwoo cleared his throat.

“Someone needs to get laid.” The girl whispered which made Jun stare at her deadly. Although, this action didn’t imitate her one bit and the pair laughed at his gesture.

Jun just groaned and wore his headphones so he could focus on his module lesson instead. He was busy highlighting and encircling terms when someone suddenly laid a various of snacks right next to him. He stopped to look up and saw her – (y/n).

You had a sweet smile in your face and Jun’s friends noticed that. They looked at each other with an obvious ‘did you see what I see?’ expression. Jun sighed and forced a smile at you. He whispered a silent thank you before you went on your way.

“Jun, who’s that?” Wonwoo asked as he went through the snacks you just gave him.

“Oh. That’s (y/n). From business dept.” He answered plainly before placing the snacks inside his bag so he could go back to studying.

Jun didn’t know that the couple seated across him was already stalking (y/n) on her social medias. They immediately noticed that you both had similar interests – skygazing, exploring museums, spending time in leisure parks, and all those things that radiate calming vibes.

Wonwoo had a conclusion in his head that you liked Jun. Well, obviously, why else would you give him snacks for free? But Jun is the one who isn’t reciprocating the same energy due to the two of you sharing so many similarities that it defeated his main belief in love.

He had a mission to change his best friend’s mind.

After Anatomy class, Jun entered the school gym with Wonwoo for their PE course. As soon as Jun set down his gym bag in the bleachers, you once again greeted him with a warm smile.

Wonwoo was quietly observing. It was an exciting sight, but he was disappointed when Jun just returned a small smile and shrugged the girl away. Aish, what’s wrong with this guy?

As the class was on-going and it was way too obvious that Jun had his eyes on you. The class was doing some acrobatic drills and he couldn’t take his eyes off you whenever it was your turn. Actually, even if it wasn’t your turn, he was still following you around with his sight.

When Jun was excused from class, Wonwoo took the chance to share a conversation with you to find out all the details because he knew Jun would never tell him anyways.

“Hi (y/n), I’m Wonwoo. Jun’s friend.” He quickly introduced himself as he sat beside you in the bleachers. The two of you shook hands and you gave him a quick smile.

“You want to know what’s up between me and your friend, yea?” You bravely said and he had wide eyes, but you just laughed at him. Wonwoo was shocked because you were just as straight forward as his best friend. You two are literally duplicates, he thought.

He nodded and you took a deep breath, “We were actually good friends. We shared the same general course back in second year. And obviously, as time passed, I started to have feelings for him.”

You noticed that Wonwoo was listening attentively to the story. You let out a little laugh at his expression before continuing with what you were saying.

“I confessed – because I didn’t want to keep it to myself. But ever since then, he started being cold. I still don’t know why, honestly. We had a great thing going on, so I always assumed that he felt the same way. Guess not.” You finished with a shrug and drank from your water bottle.

“And you’ve been what? Making the same gestures that you did in the library ever since we were in second year?” Wonwoo asked and you just gave him a nod.

The PE professor announced that the class was over, and everyone can go. You quickly grabbed your gym bag that was beside from you but before you leave, you told Wonwoo one last thing.

“But honestly, I’m getting tired from all this chasing, you know?” The sentence made Wonwoo frown.

“Wait for my friend for a little more, will you?” Wonwoo asked.

You just shrugged once again before walking away from Jun’s best friend. For you, it was just honestly getting exhausted to chase over someone who doesn’t want to be caught anyways. And besides, it’s been a whole two years. It’s like you wasted your college life chasing Junhui.

You think it’s time to stop all of these nonsenses.

If Jun was being honest to himself, he did like you. A lot. It pained him to ignore you, but he knows to himself that it just wouldn’t work out. The two of you were too similar and he has seen something like that before. It didn’t end well. He didn’t want that happening with you.

He never admitted to the flutters he got whenever you gave him smiles and small gifts. Or the way his heart racing like crazy when you two make eye contact. Or the way he could stare at you forever.

“Junhui.” He was distracted from his thoughts when he heard a familiar voice call on him. He was shocked when he saw you running towards him.

He rose an eyebrow at you, and you only offered a small smile. This worried him.

“I just need an honest answer from you, Jun.” You spoke again which he nodded instantly to. It was visible that you were nervous, and that made him nervous as well.

“Do I stand a chance?” The question caught him off guard.

The breath in his throat got stuck. He just stared at you with dead eyes as he processed your question. He didn’t know what to tell you as millions of answers rushed to his head, but out of all the answers he had in his mind, he let out a word that wasn’t even in his thoughts in the first place.

“No.”

Jun let out a groan as he downed a can of beer, “I did the right thing.” He spoke.

Wonwoo scoffed as he picked up the can that Jun threw across the room before sitting down next to his friend. Jun finally opened up to the whole situation to him which shocked him, but nevertheless, he lent his listening ear to his friend.

“No, you didn’t.” He spoke and Jun showed him an angry expression. Wonwoo scoffed at his face.

“There’s many kinds of love in the world, Jun.” Wonwoo said as he stopped Jun from grabbing another can of beer from the table.

“It varies. There’s never the same love twice. And it isn’t just limited to a love that the two people in it has to be polar opposites.” Wonwoo explained and he looked at his friend sternly.

“Just because it didn’t work out with others, doesn’t mean it won’t work out with the both of you, Jun.” Jun listened to his friend talk as realizations started rushing to him.

“You’ve been trapped inside in your belief this whole time that it hindered you from getting a love that you deserve.” Wonwoo ended his speech and laid back in the couch.

Jun sat up straight and sighed. Wonwoo ignored the opening of the beer can this time around and closed his eyes as he listened to groans and curses that his friend let out.

He kicked a can on the floor and spoke, “Fuck. It’s too late!”

Wonwoo opened his eyes once again to look at his friends and smirked, “No, it’s not.”

Jun was tipsy, only his pajamas, and a thick jacket as he ran to an apartment building that he hasn’t been on for the longest time. He doesn’t know why he was running when his friend had a vehicle.

But fuck it. He didn’t have any more time to waste.

He panted as he got on an elevator and pressed on the fifth-floor button. He was mentally cheering on himself when another man with a bouquet entered the elevator with him. The man was supposed to press the same button as he did, but when he noticed it was pressed, he just smiled at Jun.

Jun just returned the gesture as he continued to cheer himself. The man could hear the murmurs that he was letting out, but he just let Jun be because he knew the feeling all too well.

When the elevator stopped, the man with the flowers stepped off first. Jun was getting suspicious that the man was walking in the same direction to the same wing as he was going to. He stopped when the man knocked on your apartment door.

He looked nervous and excited at the same time. He let out a harsh sigh as he saw you give the man the same smile that you always gave him back then. He watched you receive the bouquet with a shy expression, and he saw the way the man giggled at her expression.

Jun turned his back away from the scene and started to walk away. That night, he learned a new lesson about love, and he made that his new belief ever since.

If you love someone, never hold back.

DREAMS.

wonwoo x oc x jeonghan

genre: angst, fluff

words: 2186

a/n: there’s a jun sequel to this fic that you can read here: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647460079277326336/beliefs !

——————————————————————————

Wonwoo couldn’t keep up with the number of times you told him about the guys in your dreams. He even memorized the details already – he was a guy that looked like he was in the same age as the both of you, a perfect face structure, a commendable height, mysterious, reserved, and quiet.

“Aish. (y/n), enough about the dream man already.” Jun complained as he threw a copy of your biochemistry modules.

“I was talking to Wonwoo, not you!” The simple sentence that came out of your mouth made Wonwoo’s heart flutter but neither of his two friends in the room can manage to notice that.

“Yeah, he’s right. We have a long quiz tomorrow, (y/n). We should study.” Wonwoo says out of concern which made you pout.

Honestly speaking, Wonwoo could listen to you talk all day long. It was just that he couldn’t push down the feeling of jealousy whenever your eyes go dreamy when you talk about the man in your dreams.

“Alright. Just so we can move pass this and finally go to the party tomorrow night.” You spoke as you opened your highlighter pen to study the module that was just thrown at you.

Jun and Wonwoo looked at each other. Jun knew that Wonwoo hated crowds and parties, but he would always push himself to go just to look after you. You always got out of hand when drinking, so he helps you sober up and take you home at the end of the night. He couldn’t bare not taking care of you.

So, he just smiled at Jun and continued writing down notes on his laptop. Jun just sighed and went back to reading his textbook. Wonwoo, a lovestruck puppy, was definitely a hopeless case.

“BOTTOMS UPPPPP!” you raised your red cup to the air and your friends followed. Your cups clinked and all of you finished the alcoholic contents in the cup.

Wonwoo sneakily threw his alcohol in the sink and pretended to have a foul face when you and Jun put your cups down in the counter. Jun could see right through him, but he dared not speak a word.

“C’mon! Let’s play cup pong!” You excitingly cheered as you grabbed the hands of your best friends to drag them outside.

But as you guys were closely arriving to the cup pong table, you suddenly stopped walking which caused Wonwoo and Jun to bump into you. The three of you fell on the concrete altogether. And when Jun was just about to curse at you for being careless, he was stopped by a man.

“Hey, are you okay?” Wonwoo could see that you were in awe as you stared at the man in front of you and it was obvious that the man stared at you the same way.

You took the man’s hand and you two stared at each other with smiles painted on your faces.

“It’s you.”

That night, Wonwoo went home alone. The spotify playlist that you usually played on the car ride homes after a party blasted through his car speakers as he drove. He was missing the feeling of you singing at the top of your lungs to the old 00’s songs or just you sitting in the front seat of his car.

He sighed. He felt hopeless after you magically saw the man in your dreams in the party you just attended. Nobody saw it coming – not even Jun who was as shocked as him when you told the man in front of you that you always saw him in your dreams.

In which the man smiled and mischievously responded with ‘Well, I guess I’m here to make you dreams come true’. He scoffed at the lines as he tightened his grip in the steering wheel.

Jun mentioned that he knew some of the man’s friends, so he let you be with him and told Wonwoo that it’s okay for you to go home with the man you just met.

“What is happening to me…” Wonwoo whispered to himself as he parked his car in their driveway. He felt rage and jealousy inside of his system and it was eating him up. He hated it.

He hated your dreams.

For the next few weeks, Wonwoo and Jun got used to the endless excuses you gave them on why you couldn’t join them in breaks and study sessions. Mainly because they would always end up seeing you with the same man somewhere across the campus anyways.

Just like today. You told them that your anatomy professor has called an emergency meeting with the lab leaders, but you were across the field sharing laughter with the guy you met in the party.

“I know you’re a quiet guy, Wonwoo. But I told you, you should’ve used your voice for this one.” Jun broke the silence as he watched Wonwoo stare at the two familiar figures at the other end of the field.

“It’s hopeless now anyways.” Wonwoo replied as he took a bite of his sandwich.

Jun chuckled and spoke, “No, it’s not.”

That same day, Jeonghan took you out to meet his friends. Although the last few days with him have been great and you got along really well with his group of people, the feelings you expected from the man in your dreams to be isn’t meeting your mere expectations.

You watched as Jeonghan talked non-stop and made a fool out of himself in the small restaurant that you were gathered at. His personality sure was different from what he showcased in your dreams.

You never fully explained to Jeonghan how he was in your dreams, because you always wanted to see if your dreams could meet up to the real him. And you were doubting that scenario now.

You thought you liked Jeonghan. He made you smile and laugh, but as you sat there in silence, you start to realize that the reason why you were head over heels in the man in your dreams is because of the personality and characteristics that they showcased.

“Hey, you okay?” Jeonghan paused to whisper when he noticed you lost in your thoughts.

He smiled as you nodded at him and went back to talking to his friends. You slowly got lost in your thoughts again.

What if you only liked the Jeonghan that your head created,

And not the one that’s sitting here beside you?

Jun was surprised when you started hanging out with him again. He could see that you were distant from Jeonghan since you avoided his texts and calls a lot – and whenever he comes up to you in university, you would always act busy when you really weren’t.

This confuses Jeonghan. He has grown fond of you already in the short amount of time you spent together, and he really thought you felt the same way. But maybe he was wrong. Each time you avoided him and his calls, he started to doubt everything he believed him. Is he really losing you this fast?

Wonwoo was gone for the week due to a medical immersion, so it was only you and Jun in the library struggling to go through the thick textbook of Histology. And for the hundredth time that day, your phone rang. Jun watched you groan in frustration as you ended the call and turned off your phone.

“What’s up?” Jun asked as he closed the textbook that was in front of him. You raised an eyebrow at him, and he did the action back. You sighed and closed your book as well.

“Jun… What if I don’t really like Jeonghan?” You asked and he gave you a smile.

“I know you don’t.” He responded. You gave him a confused look, so he sat up straight in his chair to explain to you what he knows is the truth.

“Whenever you talk about the man in your dream, what’s the three main things that you always point out?” Jun asked,

“Mysterious. Reserved. Quiet.” You recited, but still didn’t get where this was going.

“See? You never focused on Jeonghan anyways, you were more attracted to the way he acted in your dream – which turned out to be the complete opposite of what he is.” Jun explained.

You knew he was right. Those are the thoughts in your head all along anyways. Hearing your best friends put it into words made the noises in your head quiet down because it just solved all of your unending questions.

Jun coughed which caught your attention again. Once again, he gave you a sly smile and spoke, “Now, think of someone we know that has that characteristics in real life, (y/n).”

You pondered around as you thought about the last thing that Jun said in the library. He refused to answer your questions as he continued to study afterwards – completely ignoring your existence.

A confused groan left your lips as you walked to your window to look at the surroundings for a while. After a few minutes, you see a bus pull up and down came Wonwoo who kindly bowed to the bus driver as he got off in front of his house.

Then it slowly hit you.

Jun was pertaining to Wonwoo.

You watch as he grabbed his luggage from the bus compartment before tapping the bus signaling that they were good to go. He caught you by surprise when he looked at your window which caused you to panic and run back to your bed.

The heartbeat of yours that was going crazy from a simple stare answered Jun’s question. You silently cursed at least thousands of curses at the same time as you hit your head in the pillows.

You liked Wonwoo, and it took you this long to realize.

When you first met Wonwoo, you were captivated at the way he was so silent and reserved. He didn’t have any friends in your class, so you wanted to change that. You convinced Jun enough to invite Wonwoo to be part of your trio group for Pharmacology. And that’s where it all started.

You couldn’t live without Wonwoo ever since then. Jun knew that. The way you talked endlessly about Wonwoo whenever it’s just Jun and you gave him enough evidence that you liked the guy. So, when you started dreaming about a random man, he knew that it was just your head playing with you because you haven’t recognized your own feelings yet.

As per Wonwoo, he stared at you like you stole all the stars in the galaxy for him. He loved the way you would tell him stories about everything and anything, he adored the way you try to get him out of his comfort zone, so he slowly found comfort in being with you.

Jun was over the moon when you finally told him that you liked Wonwoo as well. From the start, he knew that the two of you were meant to be together. He believed that opposites go well together – you being talkative and outgoing, while Wonwoo prefers to just listen and be alone.

And when Wonwoo heard the words, I like you, coming out of your mouth, he was in absolute shock. He never expected you to like him back, but there you both were. In each other’s arms never wanting to let go. But eventually, you did, because you still had one more thing to take care of.

“Glad you finally called back.” You look back and saw Jeonghan approaching you in the empty carpark beside the abandoned diner.

Jeonghan knew what was happening today. He wasn’t dumb to not see the look you and Wonwoo gave each other at school that morning. He always knew that Wonwoo had a thing for you, but he failed to see that you felt the same way.

Cause he always expected you to feel that for him.

“Jeonghan, I’m sorry…” You silently whispered after five long minutes of sitting beside each other at the yellow parking bumper.

“It’s okay. Don’t say sorry for the feelings that you can’t control.” Jeonghan replied. You stayed silent because you know he has more to say.

“Honestly, I just want to thank you for spending the last few weeks with me. At least I got to know someone as amazing as you,” Jeonghan said and turned to look into your eyes.

“You never showed up in my dreams, but don’t doubt me when I say, you slowly became the woman of my dreams.” He said with sincerity evident in his eyes.

You felt bad. You knew to yourself that you led him on, and he was just acting that he was okay. I mean, if someone tells you that you’re the person they’re constantly dreaming about, they’d expect so much from you.

“Thank you for everything, (y/n).” He smiled and stood up from the parking bumper to slowly walk away from you and you just watched.

But he suddenly paused to look back at you and spoke to you the last words that you’ll ever hear from him,

Polaroid.

choi soobin x reader x choi yeonjun

genre: angst

! tw: amnesia, car crash

words: 2036

——————————————————————————

The mornings were always your favorite. You took sips of your ginger ale tea as you go through the polaroid stash you found last night in your old apartment. You stared at old photos of events with your family and friends that you barely even remember.

Which made you sad. You’ve been trying really hard to get your memories back, even though it’s already been a year and you barely made progress. But it’s better than nothing.

The smell of the bacon cooking in the kitchen made your stomach grumble, and as you were about to get up from your seat and go to the dining area, you were taken aback when you saw a polaroid that made your heart skip a beat.

It was a picture of a blue-haired guy. And it didn’t take you long to notice the small hand-written word at the corner. Shalom.

You rushed to the dining room still gripping on the picture in your hand. Beomgyu had a curious look in his face as he looked at you.

“Are you okay, (y/n)?” He asked while preparing the utensils on the table.

“Beomgyu, who’s this?” You showed him the polaroid and he instantly froze.

Questions filled your mind as to why your brother and your boyfriend was sharing a heated conversation about the polaroid that you saw earlier.

Normally, when you ask them about the people you had photos of, they would answer and give you short stories about how your relationship was with them. So, you didn’t get why they won’t bother telling you about this blue haired guy.

But you also don’t get why your heart started acting crazy when you saw his face, even if it’s just in the photo. And the why your brain started getting waves of various energy when you read the written words in the bottom left corner of the polaroid.

Shalom meant Peace, and that’s all you knew.

“Stop hiding this from her, Yeonjun. She deserves to know.” Beomgyu argued. He tried his best to keep this from her sister as well, but he knows that it’s just about damn time.

“What about me, Beomgyu? What if she comes running back to him and forgets all about me, huh?” Yeonjun talked back, but Beomgyu showed no shit.

“You should’ve already thought of that when you first got into a relationship with my sister in the first place.” He hissed back and Yeonjun was put into silence.

“I know you love and mean no harm to my sister. But you also know how much this guy means to her before everything that happened.” Beomgyu spoke again and flashed the polaroid right at Yeonjun’s face.

Yeonjun took a good look at the photo and he was sure you were the one who took it. The handwriting was yours as well. He vividly remembers that you took that polaroid on the night that you went on a camping trip with the man. He took a deep sigh.

“Alright. I’ll call Soobin.”

Your brother gave you a small smile before locking himself up in his room. As you followed him with your stare, your boyfriend sat beside you and intertwined his hands with yours.

He gave you a smile and spoke, “Hey (y/n), I have something to ask you.”

You nod at Yeonjun and gave him a sweet smile; gesturing that he can ask you his question.

“You love me, right?” He asked which made the systems in your body feel quite weird.

You kept experiencing random feelings that you can’t explain. Then you start to think that you might have forgotten memories from the past, but the feelings remained.

“Of course, I do.” You hesitated inside while you answered. You felt bad. You know to yourself that you loved Yeonjun, but why was this happening to you internally?

“And under any circumstances, would you stay with me?” He popped another question, and you bit your lip but nodded.

He let out a sigh of relief and wrapped you in a tight hug. You knew to yourself that you weren’t honest with Yeonjun’s questions, but you couldn’t hurt him.

He has been there for you from the start. Well, from what you can remember. When you woke up in the hospital with no idea on who you were, where you were, and what happened – he was beside your bed and looked like a frozen statue to see you awake.

Ever since then, he helped you with everything. He helped you in recovery, in learning who you are, and bringing back the memories that faded away. That’s why when he asked you to be his girlfriend, you were convinced that it was the right decision to say yes.

But you started to think that it wasn’t really a wise choice.

Beomgyu woke up you from your sleep to tell you that you were going to meet up with someone in a café. He refused to give you any details, but he said you were absolutely not allowed to say no.

So, here you we were. Sitting alone in a campus café with only your tea and cheesecake to accompany you. You were early, but that’s because you were nervous.

When the door’s bells chimed, you turn to look at the door and you saw the guy from the polaroid entering the shop. You didn’t know if you were crazy, but it’s like the rest of the world stopped and he was the only one that mattered.

You almost didn’t get to hear the man speaking in front of you because of the loud beating of your heart, but you eventually got yourself to calm down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.” You spoke which made him chuckle a bit and took the seat across from you.

“I’m Soobin. It’s nice to finally see you again, (y/n).” He offered his hand, and you shook it. You were sure you felt electricity but maybe that’s just you.

It wasn’t hard to get comfortable with Soobin. You talked a lot the entire morning, left the café by the afternoon to grab a meal, then went to a gelato shop for dessert.

All the places you were going to really felt familiar. It’s like you’ve been there with him before. And the feeling you had while you were with Soobin was a completely different story.

He told you that you became friends because you two joined the same organization back in college. You two were inseparable. You would study together, eat together, drink together, enlist in the same classes together, and basically do everything together.

But there was something that he was holding back, and you were curious.

He brought you to a quiet and secluded gazebo in the middle of a park. It was the middle of the week, so no one was really here. You guys settled down for a bit before he cleared his throat.

“Beomgyu told me to slowly let you remember about me. But is it selfish of me to want to tell you everything at this moment?” He turned to look at you as he spoke.

“You can tell me. I think I can take it.” You reassured him.

“We did more things together than you can think of. We slowly fell in love with each other as well.” He was nervous as he spoke.

You barely remember anything but what he said sat right with you. You took a moment to look at him for a second and you know he wasn’t lying. He looked genuine.

And you know what he was saying was true, because of the hundreds of emotions and feelings that were going on inside of you. You weren’t dumb, anyways. The moment you saw his polaroid, you already knew there was something special about him.

“And?” You asked, knowing there was more.

“We were in the accident together.” He revealed and that was the information that kept you quiet. They always told you that you were alone.

“Hmm, they kept that from you?” He asked and you nodded. You were waiting for him to explain the situation.

“We went on a camping trip together after graduation. Everything was going well, you know. We talked about our future. The jobs we’ll apply to, the apartment we’ll rent out, just about anything.” He smiled while explaining.

Although you can’t exactly remember the details, it made you smile too. You like to imagine that you were doing those things with Soobin – it felt right.

“When we wrapped up our camping trip and we were on our way home, a drunk driver came speeding at our car and unfortunately, it came crashing at the passenger seat.” You could hear the despair in his voice as he explained.

The whole details about the car accident were new to you. The people in your life refused to speak about it, and you’re glad someone finally told you about it.

“People didn’t let me explain, (y/n). It wasn’t my fault. If I could do it all over again, I would swerve the car to the driver seat so I could take all the pain away from you.” He started to cry when he spoke, but you put both your hands on his face to wipe the tears away.

“It’s not your fault, Soobin.” You told him with a soft tone, and he looked at you with apologetic eyes.

“Don’t feel sorry, please.” You asked of him and he quickly removed your hands from his face to hold on to them.

“You’re the love of my life,” He said which made you feel like your heart just jumped out of your chest.

“And I want you back, (y/n). My life has been chaotic without you. You’re my only peace in this god damn world.” He spoke.

Peace. The polaroid came rushing back to your mind as you remembered the little handwritten word on the corner left.

Shalom. You looked at Soobin in the eyes and felt the exact same. You were already at peace just looking at him, what more if you were with him?

You opened the door to your house and saw Yeonjun waiting for you. He quickly ran up to you and tried to hug you, but you pushed him away.

“Why did keep this from me, Yeonjun?” You tried your best to calmly ask him.

He sighed and said, “Because I didn’t want you to leave me.”

You let out a sarcastic laugh as he spoke. You ran a finger across your hair before turning to look at him in the eye.

“I was never yours.” You spoke coldly and he felt like someone just stabbed him right in his chest.

“Please, Yeonjun, let’s make this easy for the both of us. Just leave.” You said as you walked past him to lock yourself in your room.

You hated that you acted this way to Yeonjun, but you can’t help but feel frustrated and confused on to why he needed to lie about something that was clearly a big part of your life.

It isn’t love if he kept you captive from your peace. You repeated to yourself the entire night.

The sun shone brightly so Yeonjun wore his shades to protect his eye from the sun. He was standing a street away from a church. He was waiting for someone to come out.

The people that surrounded the door started cheering loudly and throwing petals everywhere and he saw you having the biggest smile on your face. You were happy. Happier than you ever were with him.

It’s been years and he slowly realized that he was wrong. He loved you a lot, but the way he held you back from the love of your life just to keep you with him was a foul move. He hated himself for it.

Shalom. He saw the two of you mouth to each other before going in for a kiss.

Yeonjun smiled to himself. He tried his best to make you as happy and at as peace as you were with Soobin, but when you made him leave, he knew it was impossible.

Distance.

bae jacob x reader

genre: fluff !

words: 956

- this was a requested scenario that i got from curiouscat, i hope the person who req’d sees this and enjoys!! <3

——————————————————————————-

A few years back, when your parents told you that the whole family was moving to Toronto, you couldn’t help but feel anxious – considering the fact that you grew up your whole life in Ottawa. All your friends, acquaintances, and close neighbors were there, but you had to leave them behind.

Despite all your worries, it’s not like you had a choice. And before you knew it, you were sitting at the desk at the further back of your new classroom. All the faces were unfamiliar, and everyone seemed to have their own group of friends, you felt really left out.

But that quickly changed when a friendly boy sat next to you and introduced himself. He had the sweetest smile and voice, so you instantly became best friends. Jacob helped you adjust in Toronto really fast.

He’d always take you to famous restaurants, parks, and malls after school, so you’d grow familiar with the city. He introduced you to his friends, but none of them grew as close to you like Jacob. And on top of all that, he only lives a couple of blocks away so you two become inseparable.

Your family loved everything about your new friend. How couldn’t they? They saw the way he brought you so much happiness, care, and love. So, when your best friend asked permission to court you, your parents didn’t even have to think twice before allowing him to do so.

Falling in love with Bae Jacob was such an ease. Everything felt natural and you felt at home with his presence. He taught you how to love and he never made that difficult. He treated you very well to the point that arguments or misunderstandings was a rare case – even after four years in the relationship.

So, when your parents broke the bad news that you guys had to move back home to Ottawa to take care of your grandparents, you didn’t know how to tell him. Because even yourself couldn’t handle thinking being away from Jacob for so long.

It was three months away from high school graduation and you were moving back the day after the graduation ceremony. You felt sadder since you had plans with your boyfriend to work part time at a café before the both of you enters university.

He knew you like the back of his hand, so he could tell something was up. He wanted you to open up because he doesn’t like it when you bottle up your feelings, so he took you to your comfort place – the lakeside.

“You can tell me what’s wrong, my love.” Jacob spoke softly as he wrapped his fingers around yours. He caressed the back of your hand with his thumb and gave you a sweet smile.

You hated to break his heart.

“We’re moving back to Ottawa after graduation, Jacob.” You plainly spoke trying to fight back the tears but failed when you saw Jacob’s smile drop as well.

Even when he was sad himself, Jacob put you first. He wrapped you in a tight hug and slowly rubbed his hands at your back to comfort you. He was shushing you while you loudly sob. He gave you time to cry it all out before he made you face him once again.

He wiped the remaining tears in your cheeks and looked you straight in the eye before speaking, “Hey, our love is greater than distance, my (y/n).”

You smiled at his words and he was relieved to see your face brighten up a little.

“As long as we trust each other enough, I know we’ll make it through this.” Jacob held on to your hands again as he spoke.

“When college is over, I know we can find a way to live in the same city again. Just consider this a small hurdle to achieve all of the dreams that we planned for our future.” Jacob said with a smile.

“A small house by the lake with two daughters and our own coffee machine?” You replied which caused the both of you to giggle.

“Yes, my love. We’ll get there. And besides, who said we can’t visit each other’s cities in our free times?” Jacob rose an eyebrow which made you laugh again.

“I don’t know, Jacob. Isn’t a four-hour car or train ride kind of far?” You genuinely asked.

He chuckled, “A four-hour trip is a very small sacrifice to see the woman I’d like to spend forever with.”

You felt your heart flatter at his words. He saw that and took the opportunity to give your forehead, then your nose, and then your lips a kiss.

“Long distance is just a small hurdle, love. We’re professional athletes.” You give a soft punch in the arm because you two were nothing close to being athletics.

“It’s just a metaphor!” Jacob whined and you laugh once again.

The both of you stayed in the lake side until the moon came out and it shined so brightly. It was beautiful and mesmerizing, the both of you can’t take your eyes off of it.

“When you ever miss me in Ottawa, just look at the sky and always remember that as long as we’re both under the same moon and sun, my love for you will never fade.” You nod as his words slowly wrapped around your mind and heart.

“Promise?” You asked, waving out your pinky finger in front of his face.

“Promise.” He responded as the two of you made a pinky promise.

You both laid in silence once again as you two enjoyed the moon, the lake, and the silence.

SHINEE

Choi Minho: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/645536336197124096/lifetime

GOT7

Kim Yugyeom: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/645908680300265472/apparition

MONSTA X

Chae Hyungwon: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/645933110141255680/torn (FT. Changkyun)

IM Changkyun: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/645933110141255680/torn (FT. Hyungwon)

SEVENTEEN

Choi Hansol (Vernon): https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/646158672901308416/unspoken-words

Jeon Wonwoo: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647268607701794816/dreams (FT. Jeonghan)

Yoon Jeonghan: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647268607701794816/dreams (FT. Wonwoo)

Wen Junhui: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647460079277326336/beliefs

Xu Minghao: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647466618594672640/silence

Joshua Hong: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647836468850688000/when-i-was-your-man

Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi): https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/647838777237241856/talking-to-the-moon

Choi Seungcheol: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/654091804062384128/time

THE BOYZ

Bae Jacob: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/646173409290731521/distance

TXT

Choi Soobin: https://ljstlr.tumblr.com/post/646252954318438400/polaroid (FT. Yeonjun)

Unspoken Words.

vernon (hansol) x reader

genre: angst

! tw: cigarettes, alcohol, bullying.

words: 2119

——————————————————————————

You can’t exactly explain how this set-up happened. It was 3 in the morning and you were smoking cigarettes with the guy who lived next door at the back of a convenience store. The vibe that the night gave was spectacular and you both sat there in silence.

There was only 4 hours left until school starts so you and your ‘friend’ smoked your last cigarette and called it a day. You walked back to your houses and he nodded at you when you reach your front porch.

He gave you a faint smile and you gave him one back. You quietly tip-toed to your room and immediately fell asleep with the contact of your bed.

By the afternoon, you were trying hard to keep up with the conversations in your lunch table. Everyone was talking at once and it was hard to focus on just one. When you were about to speak to make everyone shut up, you saw something that caught your attention.

Vernon was being dragged by the collar once again by the same group of boys. You watch as they push him around and have evil laughs come out their mouths. The pain in Vernon’s face was evident but he never fought back.

And you wondered why.

The chaos eventually stopped when a teacher stepped in and assisted Vernon away from the scene. You always felt bad for him, but you never felt like it was your place to speak up about it.

The faint sounds of rocks tapping your window was a signal from your neighbor that he was ready to go to the usual spot. You blinked your lights twice to tell him that you were coming.

You unlocked the house door as quite as possible and you saw him sitting in the sidewalk as he waited for you. He gave you a smile as he stood up and dusted off the dirt on his pants. You offered one back.

As usual, the walk to the store was quiet. You watched as he pulled out his fake ID to purchase a pack of cigarettes and a few beers. The two of you then hid behind the store and sat at the usual spot to consume the products that he recently bought.

The smoke from the cigarettes surrounded your vision. The two of you weren’t that addicted to smoking and a pack would usually last you both a week. The silence was relaxing as you felt the alcohol pass through your throat for the first time that night.

Hours passed and the usual four hours before school starts mark came so you signaled him that it was time to go but he gestured you to stop and sit down for a second.

“(y/n), I need to tell you something.” You were taken aback when the boy spoke to you. These were the first words that he ever told you after months of hanging out at midnight.

“Hit me.” You told him which put a smile in his face. You were yet to know that he was glad to finally hear your voice after the longest time.

“I’m moving out of the state.” He spoke and you were … in disbelief. Your heart felt as if like it sank and you can’t exactly explain why.

Maybe because he became your safe zone where you could be yourself for a moment. Although words were never exchanged, you considered him as someone who’s close to you because he never once judged you for enjoying things like smoking or drinking – he even joined you to it.

“Can I ask why?” You replied and he nodded.

“My guardians found out about the bullying in school. They want to take me away to another state for a clean start.” Vernon explained and you frowned.

Vernon obviously was considered an outcast at school. He was silent and that made stupid bullies push him around because he never talked back. They would even bring up the boy’s dark past, but he still remained quiet. You honestly hated it, but who were you to judge him when you barely knew anything about him?

“How long until you leave?” You ask and you were scared for the answer.

“A week.” And you can’t deny that you wished that a week would never come.

In the morning, you woke up ahead of your alarm to get ready for school. Your parents were in shock seeing you leave for school so early when you were always a late comer – they’d have to drag you to the bathroom in the usual mornings for you to leave your bed.

But you couldn’t afford to be late. You had to spend time with him before he left. A smile was painted on your face as you ran towards Vernon who was a few steps ahead from you. He was shocked to see you.

“(y/n)?” He spoke with a clear indication that he was confused on why you were interacting with him. It wasn’t midnight, and it was clear day.

No one knew that you were friends with him. That would ruin you.

“Let’s walk to school, don’t want to be late.” You simply responded and he stood in his spot still confused. But nevertheless, he couldn’t contain his smile as he walked fast to catch up with you.

And there it was, the stares. He felt nervous as people started to chatter, laugh, whisper, and look at the two of you. But you didn’t care, and Vernon saw that. He was left in awe as you ignored everyone and kept walking with him.

Suddenly, your path was blocked by a very familiar set of men.

“Are you fucking serious, (y/n)?” Minghao spoke in a harsh tone.

You hated the term, but you were part of the students who were considered popular. And your group of friends valued their reputation like a saint on a pedestal, so other students seeing you with someone like Vernon would cause them problems.

“Yes, I am, Minghao. And if you don’t leave him alone, God knows what little secret of yours I’d tattle that’ll ruin the shit out of you.” You responded bravely and quickly took a hold of Vernon’s arm to walk away.

Vernon could feel his heartbeat racing in his chest; he even felt like it would jump out and just collide with yours but that’s anatomically impossible, right?

You spent the entire day at school with Vernon. And you loved every second of it. Every time he spoke, he made you laugh and smile. And every single word you would say, he’d listen carefully. You wished you spent more time with him like this.

The smile you showed to everyone that day was more genuine than ever and even the people around you noticed that. Vernon, he really just made you feel like you’re over the moon.

Vernon felt the same way as he watched you talk about your favorite band while munching on your yogurt. He was pretty sure that the ice cream shop’s employees were bothered by you being really talkative, but he showed no care.

He loved seeing you like this.

The days flew by fast, and you grew so much closer to Vernon in that short span of days. When you were together, it’s like the people around you don’t exist, and the world was made only for the two of you.

You were in the park today. You sat down on the swing as Vernon insisted to push the swing for you as you both waited for the sunset. The calming silence coming back once again after days and days of just talking.

“Vernon, can I ask you something?” You asked; eyes focused on the sun that’s about to set.

“Hit me.” He chuckled as he mimicked your first words to him.

“How come you never spoke up to the bullies...?” He let out a sigh when you finished your sentence.

You felt the swaying of your swing put to a halt as he sat down on the swing seat next to yours.

“My parents were everything to me back then, (y/n).” He spoke and you could see the tears that were waiting to break free from his eyes.

“Before my mom died, her last words to me were ‘don’t you ever be a prey, son.’” He let out a faint laugh.

“And so, even if I was being pushed down, dragged around, whatever shit they gave me. I never talk back cause if I do, it’s an indication to them that they’re getting to me.” He paused for a while to appreciate the beauty of the sunset.

“That’s why they won’t leave me alone, (y/n). They hated that I never once fought back or told them to stop, because they want the inferiority complex to know that they have a prey, but I didn’t give them that.” He took a deep breath.

His parents were preys of the rich people when he was younger. They were wrongfully pinpointed with being drug addicts that was causing the chaos in the neighborhood and everyone believed that because they talked back.

They tried to fight for themselves and the rich knew that they had their prey. Which lead to their unjustified execution and left Vernon parentless. He loved his parents with his whole heart, but he refused to go down the same road as them.

“(y/n), with words being left unspoken, you’re much safer that way.” He finally turned to look at you and gave you a smile.

You smiled back and took a hold of his hand. His heart started racing once again.

“As the sun sets tonight, I want you to set away everything that has happened here, Vernon. Every single thing.” You whispered to him.

In the back of your mind, you never wanted him to forget you. But he’s already been through enough and he deserves that.

You could see the same reaction in his eyes. He didn’t want to forget about you, hell, he even wants to stay back for you.

But he knows you wouldn’t like that.

“And as the sun rises tomorrow, I want you to rise up and kick ass in the new life you’re about to have.” He laughed as you finished with your words.

You squeezed his hands and it caused him to hold tighter onto yours. And you were glad he couldn’t hear the loud beating that your heart was going through right now.

“You deserve a clean start, Vernon. You have a heart of gold and the best things in life belongs to you.” You reassured him.

You felt him move closer to you and you don’t know how your heart is still alive at this point. But you moved closer as well until the gap between the two of you eventually closed.

As the sun sets in the background, you shared a passionate kiss.

The next day, you watched people lift heavy boxes onto a moving truck next door. You couldn’t bring yourself to come down and say goodbye to Vernon because you’re scared that you might get down on your knees and beg him not to go.

And for the past days, that’s what Vernon has been waiting for you to do. Especially since the kiss last night, he hated to leave you all alone in this town. But he knows you well and you don’t want to hold him back. He sighed as he closed the door of his house next to you one last time.

Before getting into the car, he looked up to your window and saw you watching him. He waved you goodbye and so did you.

“Until the next time that we meet.” You mouthed to each other which caused the both of you to share a laugh one last time.

He smiled through the pain and finally got inside their car. You watched as the cars and trucks leave their driveway and he was officially gone. You laid down on your bed to look up in the ceiling, but you felt something uncomfortable under your pillow.

You sat up and removed the pillow near the bedframe and you saw an almost crushed cigarette box resting under.

You picked up the box and saw that there were three remaining cigarette sticks inside. You shook the box and the sticks fell directly in your palm.

You noticed a blank ink residue, so you used your finger to rotate the sticks and you saw that each stick had written words in them.

To my dearest (y/n), the first stick wrote.

The sun of my life, the second stick wrote.

I love you. the last stick wrote.

You let go of the first two sticks for a while and hold on to the last stick. You felt a tear come out of your eye as you read the words over and over.

“I love you too, Vernon.” And just like how your story with Vernon started, it ended the same way,

Torn.

hyungwon x oc x changkyun.

genre: slight angst

words: 2131

——————————————————————————

The loud and high-pitched crying of your baby woke you up from your sleep. It’s only been thirty minutes since the last time he cried, but there he was again. You sat up to shake the sleeping man beside you, signaling it was his turn to calm the baby down.

He quickly woke up and nodded. He groaned before getting up from the bed and quickly rushing to the baby’s room. You leaned your back in the headboard and listened as the cries quieted down as your husband hummed sweet lullabies to the cranky baby.

You were starting to fall asleep from the lullaby as well but woke up once again when you felt your husband’s arms wrap around your waist to lay you back down.

He pulled you close and planted a kiss on your neck, “You need to get sleep. We have an early flight back to Korea tomorrow.” He whispered.

You caressed his hands that were tightly hugging you by the waist. You could feel that he already fell back to sleep, but you couldn’t help but overthink.

Were you ready to go back to Korea and face the past that you left?

Meanwhile, on the other side, a man was sipping on his glass of whiskey as he re-read the messages on the group conversation that he barely even spoke in. How could he? When the woman who shattered his heart, but he still hopes to come back and fix it is there?

And the man who betrayed him as well. You were finally coming back to South Korea after a long dreading year of living in a different country. He was confused on what to feel. He was going to see you again, but it isn’t like before.

You won’t be alone, and you won’t be the woman who he can freely hold, adore, and show affection to whenever he wanted. And it’s not like he could anymore.

You got married to his best friend for fuck’s sake. You built a family behind his back. He started to feel the hidden anger once again and threw the glass he was holding across the room.

But up to this day, it wasn’t clear what he was mad about. The fact that you married his best friend and ran off to a different country to start a family or the fact that even despite the shitty move you did to him, he still loved you and prays that you come back into his arms.

But that’s the consequence of love, right?

Changkyun sighed as he laid the last box of your belongings on your new apartment’s floor. You were holding the baby while exploring your new home – it was perfect for a family of three.

“I’m so glad you guys decided to live here again,” Minhyuk spoke as he helped Changkyun remove the plastic from the furniture and baby proof them as well.

“No place like home.” Changkyun responded which Minhyuk nodded to. You looked outside the window and you saw a familiar car parked across the apartment building.

You knew exactly who it was.

Hyungwon watched you from his car. It was a bittersweet feeling to see you again. You were holding your baby in your arms and he smiled to himself even though it hurted.

It could’ve him who’s living up there with you, if it weren’t for the mistake that he caused years ago. You were labelled as soulmates, a match made in heaven, the perfect couple. You loved each other dearly – even when you were separated.

His parents never approved of you and it caused too many arguments in your relationship which eventually led to a breakup. You both thought there would be a comeback, but you were wrong.

Because a one-night stand with Changkyun, his “best friend”, made a permanent change in your life. You got pregnant. The both of you were afraid to face Hyungwon, so you fled to another country.

You were steps away from boarding the plane when you heard someone shouting your name from across the airport halls. You froze. You had an evident baby bump and Changkyun was beside you.

When you looked back, Hyungwon had a face of disbelief. He stared at your baby bump, the engagement rings at your fingers, and at you both. He scoffed at the scene; he didn’t know this was why you were suddenly leaving the country.

He backed away from the scene and you never heard of him again.

Until today.

Hyungwon got off his car and you gulped as you saw him entering the apartment building. This wasn’t going to be any good. You watched as Changkyun and Minhyuk chatter away in the living room when someone started knocking on the door.

Changkyun thought it’d be just one of the guys, so he didn’t hesitate to open the door. But he was wrong. It was the man he was most afraid of facing.

Silence wrapped around the apartment. Minhyuk was just staring at the scene in front of him and so were you. You all knew this was bound to happen, but you didn’t expect it to be this soon.

“Hi Hyungwon.” Changkyun spoke, finally breaking the silence.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you. I came here to talk to her.” Hyungwon replied coldly.

Your husband looked at you with fear in his eyes. He has grown to love you in the past years, and he felt that this was his karma of stealing you away from the love of your life. He knows to himself that he can never match with what you and Hyungwon had, and that scared him.

He doesn’t want to lose you; he can’t afford to anymore.

You closed the bedroom door and watch Changkyun sit quietly on the bed. You asked Minhyuk and Hyungwon to wait aside, leaving the baby to Minhyuk.

“You can talk to him, (y/n).” Changkyun smiled at you. But you knew it was fake. You knew him too well now.

“Changkyun, are you sure? I won’t do anything that you wouldn’t be comfortable with.” You replied and he looked at you in awe.

You still had the nicest heart and soul even after what he caused you for knocking you up. That’s why he loved you. And if you love someone, you have to be ready to let them go.

“It’s okay. And whatever happens after, I’ll be fine as well.” Changkyun answered and when you were about to respond, he already stood up and left the room.

Hyungwon watched as Changkyun took the baby from Minhyuk and entered the baby room with him. He wasn’t blind to see the tears falling from his eyes as he did so, but was he really the bad guy for ignoring that?

You picked up your bag from the counter table and stepped outside to face Hyungwon. He looked at you with the same love in his eyes, and you know you didn’t deserve that. You followed him to his car as you drove to your old hide out.

You sat at the hood of his car as you watched the overview of Seoul. You don’t know how long it’s been since the two of you sat in silence, but either one of you was scared to talk. Afraid to ruin the moment that you both have been craving for the past years.

But it had to come to an end.

“I’m sorry, Hyungwon.” You finally apologized after every pain that you caused him.

He smiled to himself and replied, “It’s okay, (y/n).”

It wasn’t okay, you thought to yourself. It was just the side of him that was too caught up on you that was speaking, and you hated that.

“It’s not.” You quietly spoke but he ignored that.

“I talked to my parents,” Hyungwon spoke which caused you to furrow your eyebrows.

“They’re fine with you now, (y/n). Even if you have a kid. It was so hard to face them, but I finally courage up enough. For you.” He continued and it made you sick to your stomach.

He refused to ever face up his parents before. They would throw the harshest words at you, but he would be afraid to go against them. Hyungwon was dependent on his parents and he couldn’t afford going broke if he spoke up.

But he finally did.

“I’m proud of you.” You speak.

Hyungwon couldn’t feel the same energy from you. He thought he could finally have you back in his arms despite everything that happened, because that’s how soulmates should be, right?

“Don’t you love me anymore, (y/n)?” He asked, a lump forming in his throat.

You watch him fiddle with his fingers which was an indication that he was nervous and uneasy. You held on to his hands to stop him from the habit.

“I love you, Hyungwon.” His face lit up.

“But it’s not the same love that you want me to offer anymore.” He felt his world and heart crash once again.

He waited and hoped for you all these years, but he started to realize that he was wrong to assume that you would drop everything just to be with him.

“No one could ever take away our soulmate bond. No one. But being without you, made me slowly realize, not all soulmates are meant to be together.” You spoke again while he was just looking down at your hands that are intertwined with his.

“When I first married Changkyun and you came running back like this, hell, I would come running back to you.” You laughed and he just smiled bitterly. So, he was too late, huh?

You squeezed his hands as you continued to talk, “But time passed by and I found my home with Changkyun. A home I never found in you.”

He still couldn’t speak. All the words that were coming out from you were hurting him, but he sat there listening to you. It was better than being left in the dark again.

“Everyone could say you were the love of my life as well. And I thought so too, but I found out it wasn’t the case when I first saw held my child in my arms.” Tears were forming in your eyes as you realize how much your family meant to you.

You have to admit that when you first thought of coming back to Korea, you wanted to go back to Hyungwon. Even with Changkyun as your husband, and even with a one-year-old child. You were ready to risk it all for him.

But when you saw how selfless Changkyun was to even give you up to someone else despite being bonded by marriage, you started to realize how selfish you are. You couldn’t just run away from the responsibility just for the sake of your own happiness.

Cause someone else depends on you now, and your actions affect them as well. Then you start to realize that the happiness you had before was nothing to the happiness of seeing your husband and child goof around each other at 7AM while you lay back on the sofa with your coffee. That the love you felt from Hyungwon before was nothing to the love that Changkyun makes you feel whenever you start to doubt yourself as a mother. You wouldn’t want to give all of that up.

And that’s when you knew, you had to let the idea of Hyungwon go.

“We have to let each other go, Wonnie.” He laughed at the nickname. He hasn’t heard that in a while, and it was funny that he was hearing it again when you were about to leave him for good.

“Are you happy?” He finally gathered up the courage to talk and look at you.

You nodded and he genuinely smiled at you as he realized something, “Okay.”

Changkyun’s eyes were swollen as he laid his son back to sleep. He couldn’t stop crying after the two of you spoke in the bedroom, so he made Minhyuk leave him alone for a while.

The faint knocks on the door startled him. He tried his best to wipe and dry out his tears as he unlocked the door. He was expecting it to be Minhyuk coming back to check on him, but much to his surprise, it was you.

“You came back.” Changkyun spoke in disbelief. You laughed at his expression.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I come back to my home?” You said and wrapped your hands around him and effulged him in a tight hug. He happily put his arms around your waist and hugged you back even tighter.

“Where exactly is home?” Changkyun asked in the middle of the bone crashing hug.

You look up to Changkyun’s eyes and he looked down on your eyes as well – not breaking away from the hug.

“Right here.” The both of you smiled as he leaned down to plant a kiss on your lips before bringing you back into the hug.

Changkyun’s smile broke when he saw Hyungwon standing on the apartment door. But he didn’t have the cold expression, instead he was smiling at the both of you.

“Take care of her, will you?” Hyungwon mouthed to Changkyun.

“I will.” Changkyun mouthed back with a smile.

And just like that, Hyungwon slowly started to let the idea of you go as well.

But he hoped you knew that you were wrong. Because soulmates still existed, and they were always meant to end up together.

APPARITION.

kim yugyeom x reader.

genre: angst

tw: mentions of ghosts / wandering souls, death, car accident

words: 1985

——————————————————————————

You tossed and turn in your bed. You can’t remember when the last time was since you had gotten proper sleep, but you honestly didn’t mind anymore. You felt like a soul-less human being who’s just waiting for their body to give up.

And the wandering soul in the corner of your room didn’t like that. He sighed and sat on the corner of your bed which made you sit up to look at him.

“I hate seeing you like this,” Yugyeom spoke with evident pain in his eyes. Never in your whole life did you think that you can see emotions on ghosts, but there it was.

“I miss you.” You replied while fighting back the tears that’s building up in your eyes.

It’s been two years since you lost the love of your life. He was involved in a car accident after the engines in his vehicles started malfunctioning, so he lost control which led to a hard impact on a concrete wall. The doctors tried their best to resuscitate him – you saw that. But it was no use since they couldn’t get a heartbeat anymore.

“I’m always here, (y/n).” Yugyeom tried to take a hold of your hand but once again it didn’t work. His hand passed by like cold wind and he sighed.

“But I can’t physically feel you anymore.” You smiled bitterly.

After the night of his funeral, you woke up in disbelief when you saw a ghost-like figure of Yugyeom standing in front of your bed. You gulped but he just had a smile on his face. Turns out, it was your boyfriend’s soul wandering the earths. He came directly to you and never left.

“Go to sleep, my love.” He whispered, ignoring the stinging pain in his heart from your last statement. And you know you hurt him, so you nodded and laid back down. Thankfully, you finally got to slumber this time around.

No one talked to you in university. Ever since Yugyeom’s tragic death, you cut off everyone in your life and no matter how hard they tried to reconnect with you, you shut them off every time. The pity stares and comments never ended but it’s not like you care.

You walked silently to your lockers to gather the books you needed for your morning classes. You paused to smile at the polaroid sitting at the front of your locker – it was your high school graduation and the both of you had the biggest smiles while hugging one another. Oh, the things you’d give up just to hold him like that once more.

The bell rang which disrupted you from your thoughts. You shut your lockers and proceeded to your first class. You sat on the very back where no one could bother you, as usual.

“Good morning class. We have a new student, please introduce yourself.” The business professor spoke, and you stared at the man beside him. He had a laptop bag hanging on his right shoulder and he was dressed neatly.

“Hi. I’m Jinyoung. I transferred from Oakley University.” The young man spoke with a smile on his face the whole time.

You were so lost in your thoughts about him that you didn’t notice him taking a seat in the vacant chair right next to you. He flashed you that smile once again, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

Yugyeom found himself in the same situation again. He was battling with the light that was trying to take his soul back to where it belonged, but he refused to do so. And each time it gets harder and harder to fight back.

But he couldn’t leave you. So, he poured all the energy he had left, and the light eventually disappeared once again. He didn’t know how longer he could fight – he was getting tired, and he knows it’s time to go.

The thought of leaving you behind – the woman that he fought for, prayed for, and loved the most scared him. Although he knows that the current situation you have would never work. He was just a soul – he couldn’t even touch or hold you and that pained him.

You don’t know what happened and how it happened. But you were in a café with Jinyoung and you two are sharing a conversation. There was just something about the man that you can’t afford to say no to.

You also couldn’t help but notice the smiles that your old friends and acquaintances were flashing your way. Maybe they’re glad that you’re finally opening up again to someone.

“So, for the business proposal, do you want to be partners?” Jinyoung spoke and quickly brought your attention back to him. He was slicing up the bread in front of you while he asked.

You smiled at the gesture. Yugyeom used to do that for you all the time.

“Why not?” You looked up to him and flashed him a genuine smile. It’s been a long time since you last smiled like that and you were having hundreds of multiple reactions in your body.

As the days passed by, Yugyeom couldn’t help but notice that you started going home late and he could feel an upbeat vibe from you – which was unusual.

He hated to be selfish, but he started to hate the way you were happy without him. But he didn’t tell you that cause it took you two whole years to be where you are right now, and he couldn’t take that away from you.

You lost so much in your life after his death. You stopped being a social butterfly, you stopped being the top of the classes, you stopped being the light of the party, and you stopped … loving. He knows you tell him a thousand times a day that you love him, but he felt otherwise.

He was just a soul and your love language is physical touch. He started thinking about all the things he took away from you and the guilt started consuming him.

Maybe it was time to stop fighting with the light.

You bid goodbye to Jinyoung’s friends as you both left the restaurant you just had dinner in. Ever since you met him, you were slowly getting back into life and you were scared. The last time you had control in your life was before Yugyeom died and that was a long time ago.

The car ride on the way home was silent. Jinyoung could tell you had a lot on your mind, and he let you be. You just watched the buildings and fixtures that is passing by as you contemplate about whether you were ready to get back on track or not.

Jinyoung insisted that he walk you to your apartment door and you couldn’t say no. You shared small conversations as you walked from the parking lot up until you reached the front of your door. The both of you stopped and he looked at you.

With the sincerest eyes and voice, he spoke, “I’m falling in love with you.”

You opened your apartment door and saw Yugyeom staring at you from the living room. You open your mouth to explain but he spoke first, “My time’s up, love.”

You were confused as he walked closer to you. He flashed a smile before speaking once again, “The light has been coming to take me for a while now, but I always fought back just to stay with you. But it’s time for you to be finally happy again.”

“Yugyeom, is this about Jinyoung? I swear … I don’t feel the same way.” You spoke as the tears flowed down your eyes. You were scared to lose him. You already lost him once and it would crash you to lose him again.

“You do. I know you do. You’re just holding back because I’m still here. But (y/n), you deserve to get back the life you lost because of me.” Yugyeom responded and he was crying now too.

“We both know this set-up is never going to work. We’re both too caught up with each other that it took us two years to realize that.” Yugyeom started wiping off the tears in your face which took you back – how could he be possibly touching you?

He laughed at your confused expression, “It’s my one last wish before I go with the light. To touch you one last time before I leave you forever.”

The sentence shattered your heart, but you were realizing the truth in the words he spoke.

“This isn’t going to be easy. We’ve been each other’s backbone since we were children. All my life was about loving and taking care of you and I’m thankful for that. But as for you, your life isn’t over yet.” Yugyeom took hold of both your hands.

“You deserve to love and be happy again. I held you back from that and you weren’t yourself for the longest time. It’s about the time that people still in your life get that back.” He rubbed his thumb across your hands which was a gesture that you missed so much from him.

You were going to miss that, and you were thankful to feel it one last time.

“Okay, Yugyeom. But can you hold me to sleep one last time before you go into the light?” You asked through the sobs and he nodded.

So, there you were, you both laid in my bed with his arms around you. He felt like a cold wind, but you didn’t complain. This was the one last time before you have to move on with your life without the man you’ve known to love even before you knew what love was.

“When you wake up, I won’t be here anymore, love.” Yugyeom whispered into your ear and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“If you ever miss me, just look up in the night sky and if you see a star that’s shining so bright, just know that that’s me looking down on you from up above.” Yugyeom spoke once again which caused your tears to fall.

He shushed your sobbing before continuing to speak, “I know it hurts to be watching the night sky without me,”

“But the day will come that it would start hurting less because you’re bound to make new memories with the next man in your life.” You felt the pain in his voice.

“I won’t ever forget about you, Yugyeom.” You reassured him.

“And I won’t ever stop loving you, (y/n).” He spoke one last time before hugging you even tighter. And you fell asleep just like that.

Waking up was the hardest part. You cried when you couldn’t feel Yugyeom’s hands around you anymore and the thought of never seeing or touching him again didn’t help with the sobs.

You lost track of time, but you were taken aback when a light shone upon your room. It was already dark, and the binding light was shining so bright that it made you stand up and open the balcony door.

You were in awe when you saw a star that standed out – it was the brightest one in the night sky and it was shining down directly at you. You knew it was him and you smiled as the tears fell down your face.

The star blinked three times right in your face and you smiled as tears rolled down your face.

“I love you, Kim Yugyeom.” You spoke to the star as it continuously blinks.

The star suddenly shifted it’s brightness somewhere else. You followed its light and as you look down to where its shining at, you saw Jinyoung waving at you at the front of the building with your favorite pastries in his hand.

You look up to speak to the star once again, “And I’m finally ready to let go.”

The star blinked one last time, and you watch as its brightness fade away until it completely vanished in the night sky.