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THIS!!! Especially the way some of y'all get online, claim to be Black women, then turn around and stalk the tags for Annie from Sinners just so you can foam at the mouth, call her a mammy, and denigrate her character in the comments/reblogs.
Annie, an 18-year-old from New Orleans, moves to Clarksdale with dreams of building a life all her own. There she meets Smoke, a 21-year-old war veteran with a dangerous reputation. What grows between them is sweet, sticky, and Southern— a smoldering love set against a world of bootlegging, Hoodoo, and blues.
Chapter 7
Contains: Explicit language, slow-burn/build romance, mentions of Hoodoo
Word Count: 9.9k
📝 This chapter really turned me every way but loose because it went a completely different direction than I originally planned, but it's necessary in kickstarting things between the two of them. Please let me know what you think in the comments! & Sidenote: The Harvest Party is coming up soon!
Masterlist
The hands of the grandfather clock ticked quietly in the front room of the boarding house, but to Annie it sounded like gunshots.
It was late.
The house had fallen into its nighttime rhythm— mostly quiet except for the random sounds of boarders stirring in their rooms. A cough from behind a closed door. The creak of a bed frame. The slow pouring of water into a basin. The smells of supper still lingered like they always did this time of night, settling into the walls like a layer of time. The fragrant aroma of clove hung over top of everything, bursting through the air every time Aunt Della parted her lips. She chewed on it slowly. Methodically. Watching Annie as her fingertips smoothed gently over the leather of the sketchbook cover.
Annie sat on the couch across from her. Her eyes looked full of possibility as she flipped through the paper, the corners of the pages sitting crisp beneath her thumb.
Something was on Aunt Della’s mind.
Annie could feel the warm flush of her skin cooling under the quiet intensity of her gaze.
Her voice broke through the silence. “He been comin’ ‘round a lot lately.”
There it was.
Annie looked up.
Aunt Della stirred her drink in her hand, ice cubes clinking against the sides of the mug. “How you feel ‘bout that?” she asked. Then she took a sip.
Annie’s head lowered. Her first instinct was to not respond. Her second was to deflect. Her third was to ask why.
“Baby,” Aunt Della probed. “I been alive too long. I know what it means for a man to stand around tryin’ to make himself useful.” She crossed one leg over the other, her ankle bouncing with anticipation like she knew this was going to take a while.
Annie’s mouth curved despite herself. She turned a page in her sketchbook, smoothing the spine down harder than necessary with her palm.
“You like him?”
Annie still couldn’t look up. It was like her words got stuck in her throat. The more Aunt Della talked, the more Annie felt caught off guard.
“Annie Royal, I ain’t talkin’ to myself,” she said sternly.
Annie’s head snapped up. She opened her mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. “I don’t know,” she said finally, in a hushed tone.
Aunt Della rolled her eyes. She let the words sit between them long enough for Annie to hear how untrue they sounded.
“Yes you do,” she answered back.
Annie looked down again, her throat tightening with something she didn’t have the name for. Aunt Della watched her for a moment, admiring how softly the lamp light curved around the edge of her face. It was smooth. Innocent. There was a vulnerability in her that she wanted to protect. But as much as she wanted to shield her, she knew she needed to be ready for the day the world came knocking.
But she was so young. Barely 18.
She remembered herself at that age. She remembered how quickly she got swept up in her husband’s kind words and gentle eyes like it was yesterday.
It happened so quickly. Marriage. Mississippi. A son.
She thought about the day her husband came back from town hall with the deed to their house. He painted the outside a rich buttery yellow and whitewashed the shutters with a puffed up chest. Dug out the underground storage with his bare hands, a shovel, and a strength that could only be explained by a feeling he’d never experienced before in his lifetime. Pride. Ownership.
The boarding house became a sanctuary without a steeple. They took in anybody who needed a hot meal and a place to lay their heads. Musicians, preachers, teachers, people trying to get up North. And two little boys trying to escape their father’s fists.
Elijah and Elias.
She met them young. Back when their father, Adam Moore, went door-to-door in town, strumming his guitar and sipping hooch straight from the bottle while his young sons walked around hungry.
She knew them before they went by Smoke and Stack. Then she watched them earn those nicknames in blood, gunpowder, and grit. And now Smoke was coming around her sister’s granddaughter. Her only great-niece.
She watched Annie nervously brush her thumb against the edge of the sketchbook and sighed. “I ain’t tryna fuss at you,” she clarified. “I just wanna know where your head’s at, and how you feel when he’s around.”
A moment passed. Then two.
Aware.
That’s how Annie felt when he was around.
Aware of herself. Aware of him. Aware of the space between one breath and the next. Like something inside her had started listening before she knew that there was sound.
Loose.
Not in the way men and women meant when they whispered about such things.
But in a way that words just came out of her mouth before she could stop them. She couldn’t carry on with him like she could with Aunt Della right now—taking the hard parts and making them sound just right so she didn’t reveal too much too soon. He got the truth before she could dress it up. And she hadn’t taken the time to figure out why quite yet. And that scared her. But it made her feel something else, too.
Seen.
She was holding back. Aunt Della could see that with her eyes closed. She could see the wheels turning in Annie’s head like she never got a chance to sit with her feelings long enough to name them. But she already had her answer. It was in the way she held the sketchbook to her chest before remembering she wasn’t alone.
She tried a different angle. “He good to you?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Annie could reply quickly when she could answer without thinking too hard.
“Respectful?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“He pressure you?”
“No, ma’am.”
“I feel like—” Annie paused, embarrassed by the honesty that sat right on the tip of her tongue. She was fighting to keep it to herself. Not because she didn’t want to be honest, but she felt like words couldn’t do her thoughts justice. And she felt foolish that she felt any kind of way to begin with. “He makes me feel….”
Aunt Della let out a sigh. “You ain’t gotta explain it yet. Sometimes when the feeling’s good, you can’t explain it right away. You gon’ find the right words when you ready.”
Annie nodded once. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You intact?”
“Yes ma’am.” Heat climbed up her neck as she held the sketchbook to her chest.
“Don’t let him take it, if that’s not what you want.”
“Yes ma’am.”
A quiet beat passed. “If it is—” Her breath hitched when she cut herself off.
It felt like the room held its breath. Annie, too.
“Nevermind.” Aunt Della shook her head like she regretted saying anything.
Annie frowned, her lips poking out. “What is it?” She asked. Her voice was cautious, but not in the way it had been earlier. It was more braced than anxious.
Aunt Della looked at Annie with a fierce protectiveness. “What you think about him?” she asked quietly.
Annie twisted her lips, searching for something that wouldn’t feel foolish the second it came out of her mouth. “At first I just thought he was quiet,” she said finally. “Not empty quiet, but the type of quiet that’s always holdin’ somethin’ back.”
Aunt Della’s eyes stayed on her.
“But when he’s with me, when he look at me…” Annie’s voice softened despite herself. “It feels like…the rest of the world disappears. And it’s just us. Just me and him. And he can let go.”
Aunt Della didn’t answer immediately, and her face didn’t change. The silence felt worse than being questioned. “And how you think he feels about you?”
“Ummm….” Her eyes flitted around the room nervously.
“The truth do just fine.”
Aunt Della set her mug down on the coffee table with a soft thump. Then she sat back and crossed her legs again, twirling that ankle in the air in slow, deliberate circles.
“Truth is…” Annie started. “I think he’s taken a shine to me. He got me this.” She rubbed the cover of the sketchbook, her cheeks warm flushed with warmth and a hint of embarrassment trying to explain herself. “He comes around, he sits with me, he listens–really listens–to what I say. And he don’t forget,” she said, remembering the note he left her, and the conversation that sparked the words he left.
“What’s all this?” Smoke asked, gesturing to the drawings sprawled across her quilt under the magnolia tree.
“Drawings,” she replied sarcastically.
Smoke sucked his teeth. “I know that,” he tutted. “What they for?”
“Helps my memory. Drawin’ things. Writin’ them down.”
“So you remember what they look like?”
“Kinda. So I remember what they for.”
Annie glanced over, bracing for laughter, amusement, or even teasing. She got none of it. When she found Aunt Della’s eyes she wasn’t smiling. She didn’t laugh. She almost looked sad, but not in a way Annie fully understood.
She simply crossed her arms across her chest and arched a brow in challenge. “So you think that means…what?”
The bluntness felt like a physical thing. It cut sharply through the room like a knife slicing through a thick fog.
Annie blinked. “Ma’am?”
“You think every man who buys you a little somethin’ or listens to you talk, means to do right by you?”
Annie blinked twice this time.
All of a sudden, she felt every bit of eighteen.
Not a child anymore, but not grown in the ways the world seemed to demand all at once.
Smoke wasn’t the first to come around. She had a few who called on her back in New Orleans. Always respectfully, always in the proper way.
She had a freedom up here that she didn’t have living under the roof of her very protective family, and that freedom allowed her to get to know Smoke in a way that would have been damn near impossible back home.
But he was always respectful. Never pushed. Always made sure she felt comfortable. That meant something to her. Time. Energy. Intention.
She kept getting four when she added two and two together.
But maybe Aunt Della was trying to tell her she wasn’t too good at math.
“I’ve known the twins since they were real young. Seen ‘em grow into bright young men. Good-lookin’ young men that every woman in this town want a piece of.” She paused. “And men like Smoke…they can make a girl feel like the whole world done gone quiet around her. But that don’t mean the world ain’t there no more.”
Annie’s ears had already perked up at the mention of his name. But now she listened even more intently.
Aunt Della’s gaze sharpened. “Don’t assume nothin’ based on a man’s silence. You’ll get yourself in trouble fillin’ in blanks that ain’t yours.”
The flame of the oil lamp shifted behind its glass, throwing a soft tremble across the wall. “You got dreams. Hopes. You want your own shop right?”
Annie’s chin lifted with a defiant certainty. “Yes ma’am.”
“Good. Don’t you put that on hold for him, or any man. If he really likes you, he won’t keep you from it.” Her voice got lower, like she wanted to say something hard but make it sound sweet. “Smoke ain’t a man who say much unless he mean it. But if a man really wants you, he’s gonna spell it out plainly.”
The words moved through Annie slowly, crawling up her spine and down her chest where her heart thumped a little faster. She traced her thumb along the back cover, feeling the grain of the leather beneath her fingertip.
The ceiling creaked softly above them. Another lodger, maybe. Or just the house settling into itself. Crickets chirped low in the grass while the night wrapped around them, fully aware of what truth hid behind her silence. It chose not to soften it.
“I understand,” she finally said, quietly.
“Now gone’ to bed. I know you tired.”
Aunt Della stood. Annie did, too. Aunt Della turned towards the kitchen, then thought better of it and turned to grab Annie’s forearm before she got too far. She grabbed her face gently, staring at Annie with warm brown eyes. “I ain’t sayin’ all this to scare you. I’m sayin’ it ‘cause I love you.”
The tightness in her chest eased a bit. “What were you gonna say, when you stopped yourself?”
Aunt Della’s eyes softened. “It’s not for me to say,” she said softly. “But you’ll find out soon enough.”
She pulled her into a hug then released her. Annie moved slowly towards the staircase, purse slung tightly over her shoulder, sketchbook secured underneath the crook of her arm.
“Goodnight Aunt Della,” she called out.
“Goodnight, Annie.”
Annie started up the stairs. Halfway up she paused, her fingers tightening their grip on the banister. She looked back toward Aunt Della who was halfway to the kitchen.
“Thank you,” she said, just loud enough so she could hear it.
The night was dark and tonight that darkness felt loaded. The sky was bare. No stars, just an endless stretch of shadow that pressed against the windows, barely softened by the faint glow of the waning moon.
Annie laid in her bed just staring. First she counted the cracks in the ceiling. Then she traced the lines on the walls with her eyes.
The words of Aunt Della replayed in her head. That and the feeling that something laid quietly underneath their conversation. Something Aunt Della knew and refused to say.
Two questions came to mind.
What was Aunt Della holding back from telling her?
What made her change her mind?
It took a while for Annie’s eyes to get heavy while her thoughts refused to shut off. Something settled in her bones at that moment.
Somewhere beyond the boarding house, Smoke—Elijah—had come and gone and left something behind. Something more than just a pretty sketchbook and a thoughtful note.
Morning light came soft through the windows, a pale gold that stretched across the floorboards, taking on the pattern of the lace curtains. Annie stood at her dresser with her nightgown hanging off one shoulder, a satin scarf sliding slowly down her braids.
She counted under her breath, the silver coins plunking against the thin metal of the container where she kept her money. It was a tea tin, a small one that smelled like mint no matter how many times she tried to air it out. The last coin clinked against the others in the tin. She closed the top of it, taking a moment to write the total on the back cover of her sketchbook. She kept a running tally there, one that she copied over from a piece of scrap paper she used to keep track of her earnings before last night.
Annie set Smoke’s note on her dresser. She traced her fingers over the words, brushing her hand over his name on the paper. The ink pooled thickest where he dotted his “i,” and when she touched it, it stained the part where flesh met fingernail. Aunt Della’s words from last night crossed her mind as she watched the ink bloom and spread across her fingertip before slowly sinking into the skin.
Crossing the room, she knelt near the loose floorboard in the corner that lifted without a creak. She tucked the tin into the hollow space and started to fit the wood back into place. Then she hesitated. Not because she doubted herself, but because she wanted to imagine what it would be like for a spell. Her own shop. A modest house with blue paint. She’d sell and barter healing herbs and medicines that ward off sickness and bad spirits, the shelves lined top to bottom with jars, vials and bottles of them. A long table, polished smooth by her own hands, would stretch proudly across the front room where she’d serve meals to sharecroppers and passing workers. Dried roots tied in bundles would hang from the rafters in a shed off to the side. People would come to fill their bellies and stay for something more.
That was hers.
Annie left New Orleans before dawn, dust kicking up from the soles of her shoes and darkening the hem of her dress. She kept her money folded small, eyes cast down the way she was told to when she was traveling alone. A few things she held close to her chest— her great-grandmother’s bible, some knick-knacks, and a few letters. A burlap sack hung from her shoulder, holding some other possessions she held dear. An old trunk held the rest.
The Mississippi River laid before her, wide and brown. She boarded a boat with other people heading upriver, women with their satchels, men with their hats pulled low to keep the mosquitos away. Annie hung onto the railings, watching the trees dip their roots in the water, their branches swinging heavily in the wind like they’d seen too much. The depot was next. When she boarded the train, she closed her eyes and said a prayer underneath her breath— one for the journey, one for the destination.
She spent the night in a Colored waiting room with families piled on top of each other and solo travelers with tired eyes wearing all their possessions.
The next day was another train. Cotton fields stretched wide beyond the thick glass of the windows, the grim landscape broken only by oak trees and tiny shacks lined up in a row. They passed by another stretch of land mostly hidden behind the treeline, but she could feel it— water, soil, roots, foundation.
An elderly man, skin the color of pralines, sat on his porch watching the train go by. Striped overalls with the clasps unbuckled, white shirt with the sleeves rolled, straw hat, heavy work boots— but what caught her attention was his eyes. One was completely covered in cataracts. The other one looked sharp enough to hold the sight of four people. The man sucked on a stick of sugarcane while a hound dog sat by his side, tongue out, panting hard under the burn of the Mississippi sun.
Then he was gone.
All that remained were the muted shades of nature as the train trekked through the countryside. No house. No dog. No sugarcane. But Annie could remember every detail, even the dusty blue denim of the man’s overalls. And the expectant look in his eye.
She woke up with a jolt, spine snapping straight where she was slumped over in her seat.
The train cabin was quiet. Most people were asleep, some lingering in the corners, some just starting to wake up. Nighttime was on the horizon. Shades of orange and pink swallowing what was leftover from the day.
“How long I been out?” she asked the woman next to her.
The woman thought for a moment. “Since we got on, I reckon.”
“I been sleep this whole time?”
“Mhmm,” she confirmed. “Must’ve had you a long day…”
“Must’ve…” Annie frowned, rubbing the sleep from her drowsy eyes. She looked out at the land through the thick, cloudy windows of the train cabin, and the land looked back.
Time passed and she still remembered it all. The land. The house. The way the sun slanted just right through the trees. The man. How he looked like he was waiting for something. How real he felt, even after she realized she was dreaming. When she finally pressed the floorboard back into place the room became itself again. A bed. A dresser. An altar. And a young woman kneeling on the floor daydreaming about possibilities.
One state over, the road began to flatten towards Memphis. It was bad in places, rutted deep from wagons, farming equipment, and animal hooves. Dust rose up behind the truck in low brown puffs, sparkling in the light before disappearing up into the trees.
Smoke drove with both hands steady on the wheel. Stack rode beside him, one arm hanging lazily out the window, hat tipped low against the glare.
“So you gon’ tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
Stack sucked his teeth. “Don’t do that.”
Smoke kept driving. Stack waited him out. That was the thing with twins, when one soul splits into two. Silence didn’t work on somebody who already felt it on the inside.
“Annie,” Stack blurted after a while.
Her name shifted something in the cab. Stack could tell by the way Smoke’s eyes narrowed slightly, his hands tightening around the wheel all of a sudden, the leather groaning under the force of his grip.
“What about her?”
Stack barked out a laugh. “So, it’s like that?”
The road curved just ahead of them, pecan trees crowding close to the edge on either side of the road like they were trying to listen in on their conversation.
“I talked to Della,” Smoke admitted. He looked over to Stack, whose smile eased a bit where he sat.
“About?”
Smoke didn’t reply.
Stack sat up fully. Back straight, slouch gone. “For real?”
Smoke shot him a look.
Stack leaned back slightly, studying the side of Smoke’s face. “Damn,” he trailed off. “What she say?”
It was the day before they were set to head to Memphis, and the early evening sun poured molten gold through the back windows, warming the floorboards of Della’s kitchen. Smoke stood in front of the counter watching her slice a batch of onions. Della stood on the other side, her arm moving like the wheels of a locomotive, the movement slow, methodical, and sharp because she’d done this a thousand times.
“I been meanin’ to ask you somethin’,” he said, voice steady.
Della kept her pace, she didn’t slow or stop. “That right?”
“That’s right.”
“This ‘bout my girl?”
“It is.”
Della stopped what she was doing. She wiped the knife off on a kitchen towel, then set it down on the counter.
“I was hopin’ I could court Annie,” Smoke said firmly. “Proper like.”
“What you know about courtin’ a woman proper?” Della asked. She crossed her arms.
Smoke took his lick. He didn’t flinch.
“She ain’t just anybody,” Della said before he could respond.
“I know,” Smoke replied. Something in him leaned forward before his body did. “I wanna do it right. If she’ll have me.”
Della looked over Smoke carefully. For the lie in his eyes. For the joke tugging at the corner of his mouth. For the doubt in his posture. “You talk to her ‘bout this already?”
“Not yet.”
“You need to.”
“I will. Wanted to ask you first.”
She eased her weight off one hip, and put it on the other. “She ain't built for no half steppin’.”
“I don’t do half.”
Della’s eyes narrowed for a second, then relaxed. “That girl want somethin’ of her own,” she said. “Don’t know if she told you that yet.”
“She did.”
“Well.” Her voice came out soft but sharp. “She got powerful hands. Hands that ain’t meant to be locked up under some man’s roof waitin’ for permission. If you wanna court her, you better not try to shrink her.”
“I won’t,” Smoke replied.
Della picked up her knife again. She sliced into an onion slowly, the thin, methodical rhythm of metal hitting wood echoed in the otherwise quiet room.
Lodgers started to walk in from their work shifts, heading to their rooms or back out to the porch where a few of them were squatting over a dice game. A few of them poked their heads into the kitchen to ask about supper.
Smoke hadn’t moved an inch. He waited quietly, letting the silence sit between them, more for him than her.
“You like her,” she said. It wasn’t a question. She didn’t even need to ask. She could see it. Feel it, even.
“Yes ma’am.”
“How much?”
“I care about her. Wanna see her more. Respectfully.”
Della’s nose wrinkled. “You serious?”
“I am,” he said with finality.
Something passed through Della’s eyes as she looked him over carefully, from head to toe. It didn’t feel like judgment. It was something Smoke didn’t have a name for. He raised a brow, a silent question.
“Still seein’ other women?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Ain’t what I heard.”
Confusion. It spread slowly across his face like the petals of a night-blooming flower before turning into something darker. Smoke flexed his hands at his sides before clasping them firmly in front of himself. “What you heard?” he asked, inclining his head.
“Little here, little there,” she admitted. She tilted her head. “May not be loud, but I can hear whispers just fine.”
Smoke’s jaw worked. He shook his head once, firmly. “It ain’t true.”
“It ain’t?”
“I ain’t lyin’,” he stated simply. “Since I started spendin’ more time with Annie, I’ve only been seein’ her.”
“Then why they still talkin’?”
Smoke sighed, running a hand down his face. “I don’t know,” he shrugged.
Della sucked her teeth. She looked away, then looked back. “That don’t answer my question.”
Her eyes got a little sharper, then. Defensive. She folded her arms across her chest, pushing back.
Smoke looked like he was racking his brain for the answer. When it clicked, let out a ragged, frustrated breath through his nose. “I guess, I ain’t really end it the way I should,” he confessed.
Della’s voice went up a whole octave. “You guess?” she asked incredulously.
“How you tryna court Annie, when you can’t even end somethin’ proper? What happened?”
“I stopped reachin’ out,” he explained. “Ain’t seen ‘em, none of that.” He sighed into his words. His voice tight, but firm. “Thought that was it. I moved on, figured they did, too.”
“You figured wrong,” she corrected. “You leave one woman guessin’, don’t come over here askin’ me for permission to leave another one guessin’.”
Smoke nodded, the muscle in his jaw fluttering. “I won't. I’ma clear it up. Before I bring anything to Annie.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Della started.
“Miss Della—” he started.
She searched his eyes. “Elijah,” she said, in a tone that sounded like a warning.
Smoke’s gaze didn’t waver. He looked at her firm, steady, unblinking. “I mean to do right by her. I wouldn’t be askin’ you if I didn’t.”
Della sighed. “Alright.”
Smoke’s face relaxed.
“There’s rules.”
“Okay.”
“Handle that business, first.”
“Trust me, I will,” Smoke said, nodding once.
Della picked her knife back up, turning it sideways so she could start dicing the onions. “Y’all been kissin’?”
He wasn’t about to lie. He didn’t lie anyways, not when it mattered, but especially not to a woman who could put a root on him with one hand, and chop an onion clean down the middle with the other—at the same time. “Yes ma’am,” he admitted.
She didn’t flinch. “That it?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Mhmm,” she muttered. “No funny business in my house,” she warned, pointing the tip of the knife towards him.
“You ain’t gotta worry about that.”
“I know,” she said warmly. “Not with you.”
“Can I leave this for her?”
Smoke held up a thin, black leather covered book.
“What is it?”
His jaw worked. “It's for her drawings,” he said simply. “So she can keep 'em all in one place.”
“I will,” she said. She could feel the tenderness in his words, even though he tried to hide it.
Smoke let out the breath he’d been holding since he walked up the steps of her porch with a gift and a question. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” she said, sweeping the diced onions into a bowl with the edge of her blade. “That girl’s heart is her own. She gotta say yes, first.”
“Smoke.” Stack’s voice came out quiet.
Smoke slowed without thinking. He cursed under his breath, sitting fully forward in his seat.
Up ahead, the road dipped towards a narrow wooden bridge that laid over a stretch of shallow, muddy water. Off to the side, something rose from behind the cotton fields.
Dust. It came from the far side of the bridge, lifting faintly through the trees along with the sound of a mule dragging something through dirt.
Smoke eased the car to a stop beneath the shade just before the bridge. Stack moved from the passenger seat and stalked towards the edge of the field, his body loose in the way men looked when they were prepared not to be. He looked for what didn’t belong while Smoke stayed behind the wheel listening for it.
Wind rustled through the leaves, a dry, papery sound that blew through the acres of cotton plants. Sharecroppers that sang hymns and blues songs as they moved down the line. They picked cotton with tired, calloused hands, the cost of their labor paid in bright red splotches of blood that dripped from their fingers, staining the stark whiteness of the cotton bolls. A vulture circled overhead, then found its prey. It swooped down, its wings spreading menacingly slow as its talons gripped the rung of abandoned machinery.
Stack walked back to the truck with the cautious confidence he carried no matter how many times they’d taken this route. His face didn’t show it, but his eyes stayed sharp. “Just some nigga on a wagon,” he said, waving it off.
Smoke looked back, looked towards his brother, looked towards the bridge, flexed his hands on the wheel, then steadied.
Memphis appeared thirty minutes later.
The city smelled like hot grease and opportunity. The sound of brass instruments hung heavy in the air, cutting through all the cigar smoke and pipe exhaust. A band played on the street once they turned the corner, a crowd of people gathered around them tossing money, dancing, and singing. Vendors lined the streets selling all kinds of treats, both savory and sweet, shouting their prices above all the noise.
There was a lightness here.
But Stack hadn’t spoken since they crossed that bridge.
“Just say it,” Smoke muttered.
“Say what?” He spoke with his usual slick tone, toothpick hanging out the corner of his mouth like he knew something you didn’t.
“Whatever it is.”
Stack grinned. He rolled the toothpick around his mouth. Cleared his throat. “I’m just thinkin’.”
Smoke waited.
He rubbed a hand over his freshly lined up goatee. Smiled again, wider this time, his gold fronts shining in the late afternoon. “You ain’t seen…you know?”
Smoke didn’t even let the question linger in the air. “No.”
Stack didn’t back down. “Last I heard…”
Smoke’s brows pulled together. “It ain’t true,” he said flatly.
“I knew she was full of shit.” He shook his head in disgust. “She gon’ be pissed, though.”
“Who, Annie?”
Stack looked over. “Nah.” He shrugged. “I mean, maybe…” He shook his head again. “I mean...”
“Nigga.”
Beale Street pulsed around them. A saxophone blared loudly on the sidewalk. The sultry voice of a woman floated out from the open door of a juke they passed by.
“Look at my nigga tryna be serious,” Stack teased, clapping his brother on the shoulder. “I mean you was born serious but…”
“Aight….” Smoke mumbled.
“For real," he continued. Voice lighter now, but not unserious. “I’m happy for you brotha.”
Smoke didn’t answer.
Stack leaned back in his seat, arms folded behind his head as the truck slowed in front of The Monarch. The juke joint was already breathing through the walls. Music, laughter, and the smell of fried food spilled out into the street.
“You know she good for you, right?”
Smoke’s eyes cut over.
Stack lifted a hand. “I’m bein’ serious,” he said with a grin.
“I ain’t ask you for all that,” Smoke grumbled. He pulled the brake and cut the engine. “I just need you to be serious ‘bout this business we ‘bout to handle.”
Stack smoothed out his suit jacket before climbing out first. “Nigga, I’m always serious ‘bout—” He cut himself off. His grin widened. “Oh, you really like her huh.”
Smoke stepped out after him, shutting the truck door harder than necessary. “Shut up, Stack.”
Stack only laughed as he headed towards the door of the joint. Smoke followed behind him, both brothers disappearing into the smoky mouth of the juke.
They waited until the boarding house was empty. Breakfast was long over, the kitchen back to the way it looked before the lodgers ran through it in the morning. The floors were swept, shelves dusted, dishes washed, dried, and stacked neatly in the cupboard. Flour dust hid between the cracks of the table no matter how many times it was wiped down, a chipped blue bowl full of onions and garlic hiding most of that. A heavy cast iron pan hung over the stove with something in it that would cook low and slow until supper.
Annie stood in the kitchen with her sleeves rolled past her elbows, wiping down the edge of the table. Aunt Della watched her from across the kitchen, tending an arrangement of calla lilies in a slender glass jar. “Ready?”
Annie looked up from wiping a stubborn corner of the table. “Yes.”
“Nervous?”
Annie rung the rag out, twisting it once and dropping it in the wash basin. “A little.”
The kettle hissed softly behind them, steam reaching up towards the ceiling in white, pillowy puffs. A burst of bright, mid-morning light flooded the room through the curtains, catching the edge of a jar of dried bay leaves that sat near the windowsill and the fur of Felix who was curled up with his paws tucked under him like he was waiting on this exact moment. He purred gently, the sound a sharp contrast to the kettle whose whistle was now piercing the air.
“Come on,” Aunt Della said, leading her towards the lean-to in the backyard.
The space was narrow and dark even though the sun was high, only slivers of light peeking through the cracks in the siding. The shelves held various grooming items needed for a house full of men. Lye soap, oils and tonics, shampoos and aftershave. A galvanized tub sat in the middle of it all. Aunt Della moved two small crates aside in the corner of the room. Annie looked down, her mouth dropping open when she caught the glint of the iron ring hidden between the floorboards.
“Don’t just stand around catching flies,” Aunt Della threw over her shoulder. She was already bending over as quickly as she could for her age, hooking two fingers into the ring and pulling up.
“What’s down there?” She bent down to help her.
“You ‘bout to find out.”
The wood lifted from the floor with a low groan and a whistle of trapped air that escaped like the room was letting out a breath. The smell of something earthy and dark—roots, clay, old wood, and something more sharp—hit them with the first whiff that rose from beneath the ground. Aunt Della lowered herself carefully onto the first step then looked back, a lit oil lamp secure in her hands. “Mind your skirt,” she told Annie. “And close the door behind you.”
Annie gathered the length of her skirt, wrapping it twice around her hand. The stairs creaked beneath her feet, each one more narrow and steep the deeper she moved below the boarding house. The hum of the street disappeared first. Then the sounds of the backyard—chickens, birds, bees and the breeze.
Then the daylight.
Annie paused at the bottom to take in all that she could see from the stretch of Aunt Della’s oil lamp. Shelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling, crowded with everything from bottles to tins to roots dark and twisted that reached into the soil like fingers.
Aunt Della led her to a door. They had to be underneath the front porch of the house, Annie thought to herself. She unlocked the room, a heavy oak door fitted with two heavy padlocks, and guided them inside.
More shelves.
Glass jars caught the flickering flame of the lamp in dull flashes. They were lined up along the walls, filled with graveyard dust, mandrake, cinquefoil, High John, and camphor. A stack of bones too small for Annie to name. A brown bag of black mustard seeds, blue glass beads, river stones smooth as polished teeth, and an assortment of other things.
Aunt Della set the lamp on a low table in the middle marked with knife nicks and stains like old wounds. On it sat a mortar and pestle, a ledger book with a cracked spine, a fountain pen, three small bowls, and a white candle burned low in its dish.
“This where we gon’ start.”
Annie looked around, wrapping her arms around herself. “This all yours?”
“It’s all mine,” Aunt Della confirmed. “Take a seat.” She gestured for Annie to sit on one of two cushions around the table and moved to one of the shelves. She glanced at a bundle of dried leaves, touching them lightly with two fingers before bringing it back to the table. “Some of this belonged to my mama. Some of it from women I met along the way. Women whose names don’t get spoken much anymore.”
She opened the ledger to a blank page, then pushed it to the corner of the table. “First thing you learn ain’t gon’ be what does what, it’s gon’ be what not to touch.”
Annie’s eyes narrowed.
“There’s stuff that heals and stuff that calls. Calling is where it gets tricky. You can call luck, love, happiness. You can call something darker. Something that settles. Something that unsettles. The thing that gives you mercy can be the same one you beg for mercy. It all depends on which hand holds it.”
Annie absorbed as much as she could while her gaze drifted around the room. This room felt smaller, not because of its size, but because of what it held. Most things felt familiar, a few things did not. It was the few things that didn’t, that unsettled her.
She thought of her grandmother. Of the stool in her apothecary. Sometimes she’d sit there all day, just watching. Reaching for things out of curiosity and being told ‘not yet’ so often that it became part of her rearing.
Aunt Della must have seen something cross her face, because her voice softened. “You know more than you think,” she said.
“Then why do I feel like I don’t know anything…all of a sudden?”
She paused. And then— “Lemme show you.” Aunt Della reached for a jar of something dried and fragrant hidden under a strip of blue fabric. She set it on the table. “Name it.”
Annie tried to peer through the glass. The leaves were green, obviously. Smooth, and curled at the edges, from what she could see. She opened the jar carefully and sniffed the fragrance that wafted through her nose. The smell was earthy. Sharp. “Sage?” she asked.
Aunt Della gave her a look.
“Not sage,” Annie winced.
Aunt Della paused a moment. “You know that ain’t no damn sage.”
Annie brought the jar to her nose again. She took a deeper whiff. It smelled different this time, something warmer and sweeter. Familiar, but not from the kitchen. “Boneset?” she guessed.
“You askin’ or tellin’?”
“Tellin’,” she said, twisting the lid closed and setting the jar down.
Aunt Della waited a moment for Annie to second guess herself. She didn’t. “There she is.”
Annie smiled despite herself.
“What’s it for?”
“Fevers and aches,” Annie began. “Unless you take too much.”
Aunt Della hummed as she shuffled through the jars, vials, and pouches littered on the shelves. “Every living thing got a spirit,” she started. “It had a spirit ‘fore it had a name.” She continued on. “Its smell will tell you its name. But its spirit, that’ll tell you what it wants.” She looked at Annie closely, eyes narrowing. “This,” she tapped her temple, “is how you learn the spirit of a thing.”
She reached behind her without looking, pulled another jar down, and set it on the table in front of Annie. “Name it.”
They went on like that for a while, one jar after another. Some Annie knew right away, some she hesitated on, and some that made her feel straight foolish when Aunt Della corrected her.
“Don’t just guess ‘cause you wanna be right.”
“I wasn’t!”
“You was.”
Annie huffed softly, frustrated.
“You gotta learn how to trust yourself, baby. Like when you close your eyes to draw.”
Aunt Della turned her back to the shelf, her eyes sweeping over her collection until she landed on a small bundle wrapped in red thread. She placed it on the table without a word.
“Gon’ head. Pick it up,” she insisted.
Annie hesitated at first. Her fingers wrapped around it gently, something tightening low in her belly once it touched her palm. Whatever was inside the cloth was hidden, but she could feel the weight of what she held in her hands.
“What?” Aunt Della challenged her. “Tell me how it feels.”
Annie rubbed her thumb along the fabric. “This one feels…like it wanna be left alone,” she said breathily.
The flame of the oil lamp that sat on the low table shifted, flickering once then standing still—but it wasn’t from any wind.
There was no wind down here.
Just darkness, soil, and walls that held their breath like lungs.
Aunt Della watched her for a moment, then reached out and took it from her. Annie’s hands felt lighter instantly.
“What was that?” Annie’s eyes lifted, following the bundle.
“Not today.”
“Really?”
“I said,” Della repeated. “Not today.” She sat back down. “Lesson number two. Curiosity don’t mean permission.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Power ain’t always in what you can hold. Sometimes it lies in what you know to leave alone when you ain’t ready. When it ain’t ready.”
She looked up to the ceiling. “They know?”
Aunt Della snorted. “Men don’t notice half of what’s goin’ on.”
Annie laughed and Aunt Della smiled back, pulling the ledger towards the edge of the table. The pages were filled with names, dates, ingredients, measurements, and notes. Some in Aunt Della’s hand, others in foreign script. Most of the entries were normal: fever, toothache, bad blood, sleeplessness. Others were less common: keep someone away, restore peace to a home, stop a tongue from speaking ill, return what was sent. Annie traced a line without touching it. Her pulse felt different as her finger hovered over the script. Slower, heavier, like something had reached up and guided her hand.
Aunt Della flipped to the next page of the ledger, tapping a blank line on the page once with her finger. “When you open a door with your name on it, you better know what you sellin’. You ain’t just sellin’ an herb. Ain’t just sellin’ a bottle. You sellin’ a promise.”
“A promise?”
“When a woman’s hurt and she comes to you for help…she ain’t just lookin’ to buy a root. She’s lookin’ to buy trust. Silence. The hope that somebody knows what to do with what she can’t carry alone anymore.”
Annie thought about the women slipping through her grandmother’s door. Their faces covered with veils, hands holding tight onto coins, voices just above a whisper. She drew them sometimes while she sat in the corner on that stool—not just their faces, but the changes. How they came and how they left.
Aunt Della pushed the pen, ink, and the ledger on the table right in front of Annie. “Write today’s date.”
le 31 octobre 1919
Annie wrote it in her best script. When she put the pen down she felt different somehow, like she had crossed a threshold she didn’t even know was there.
Aunt Della moved the ledger away to let the ink dry and the moment settle. Then she stood, took down another jar from the shelves, popped off the lid, and set it in front of her.
“Name it.”
Annie lifted the jar to her nose, but this time she didn’t rush.
She smelled first.
Looked second.
And listened to whatever quiet thing inside her answered third.
It took Smoke three attempts to light his cigarette.
It was later that same evening. He stood on the second-floor balcony of the Greenwood House. It sat on the corner of Hernando and Beale; the place he and Stack stayed every time they came down to Memphis. The clink of utensils and the hearty smell of andouille sausage and gumbo drifted out the open windows of the porch and floated upward to where he stood outside, making his stomach twist with hunger.
An older woman named Mrs. Johnson owned the place and knew them well, often turning a blind eye to whatever they (Stack) got up to when they came down for business.
“This ain’t no whorehouse! You want a whorehouse, there's plenty of them down the street! Tryna soil my good furniture. The sheets is one thing, but I catch one of them hussies on one of my couches, I’ll put you out on ya ass in the middle of the night with just ya draws on!”
Smoke held a lighter in one hand, an unlit cigarette in the other, rolled up tight with the special New Orleans blend of tobacco laced with a little grass that he got from Bo every other week.
His thumb slipped on the spark wheel on his first try.
His hand shook suddenly on the second.
He gripped the base harder, clenching his teeth on the third try. An eruption of flint and fuel sparked a flame that burned bright and angry against the setting Memphis sun and the backdrop of Beale Street.
Smoke brought the cigarette to his mouth, its red ember heating the inside of the palm.
He exhaled with relief.
It felt like a betrayal. That a white man’s war was the reason his hands had a mind of their own sometimes. The lack of control that had him shook. Angry.
He took another drag to calm his nerves, his thoughts searching for somewhere soft to land.
Annie.
He’d seen her walk into some shop on Issaquena a few weeks back. Long blue dress with buttons down the middle. Curved just right over her hips and thighs. Like it was painted on.
Smoke took another hit, blood sparking heavy with desire. He let the smoke filter through his nostrils when he exhaled. He inhaled it back through his nose, letting the fumes settle deep and spicy in his chest.
He had to think about something safer.
Like lips or eyes.
But Annie’s lips? And Annie’s eyes?
Her lips were dangerous. Soft, fluffy, inviting. Sweet.
He thought about how his name slipped out of them like it was the best thing she ever tasted.
“Smoke,” she’d drawl. It melted on the tip of her tongue like a scoop of her favorite ice cream from downtown, her Louisiana lilt drawing out the o, making her lips form a perfect circle like she was—
“You good?”
The sound of familiar steps made him turn his head to the side.
It was Stack.
“Yeah,” Smoke said, flexing his hands at his sides. “Food ready yet?”
”Just about. She puttin’ dishes out and shit.” Stack turned to walk away. Then he paused. Turned back. “She made sweet potato pie, too.”
Smoke snuffed out his cigarette and hurried his ass downstairs.
One Week Later…
It was lunch hour. The dining area at Blackbird was packed full of hungry customers, unbridled laughter, and the smell of frying oil. Annie weaved expertly through the tables and around the booths like she belonged there. Since she started working there, she’d already found her own rhythm even though she only worked a few times a week. She was keeping up with the seasoned waitresses, the ones who didn’t write orders down and could balance two serving trays and a pot of coffee with one hand. She was doing so well that even Mr. Hightower was impressed with how she held her own, even with the sudden increase of diners from out of town.
Especially people’s relatives from up north.
There wasn’t a family in Clarksdale who didn’t have somebody who went north for better opportunities, higher wages, and more or less, more freedom. Annie heard the stories. Walk off a train, walk into a stockroom or a shipyard and find work that pays four times what you’d earn in the fields or as a domestic down south.
And now she was looking at them sitting in the booths, laughing with their friends and family while showing off their fancy cars, shiny shoes, and new clothing.
That ‘Northern’ polish.
Stack had that type of polish. Always kept a waistcoat. Always wore real gold—chains, pocket watch, gold fronts. Shoes always shined like they were polished by the sun.
Smoke didn’t dress like his brother, but he had a way about him too. His clothes weren’t flashy, but they were clean. Neat. He kept a wristwatch instead of a pocket one. One with a black leather strap, smooth bezel, and a nice engraving carved on the back. But he still had a ruggedness about him that she liked...a lot.
She wondered if their “travels” ever took them up north. Pittsburgh, Detroit, Chicago. She knew they’d been to New York. Smoke told her that. Spent some time in Harlem staying with Aunt Della’s son before they shipped off to war.
Annie didn’t know exactly what they got up to when they went out of town, but she wasn’t wet behind the ears. She didn’t need all the details to know the shape of danger. The town knew what the SmokeStack twins were; they earned those names here. Even if the town knew to not go into detail about what they did to earn them. But there were rumors.
Especially about the women they dealt with.
Stack was the womanizer. Annie knew that the minute she first met him at the train station. He had a mouth so slick, he could make a woman apologize to him for breaking her own heart. Smoke was a little different. Quieter about his, at least. But quieter didn't mean it ain’t exist. Where Stack left noise, Smoke left silence. The type of silence that was hard to measure sometimes. And with silence came people trying to fill that empty space with their own version of the truth. So they whispered.
“So-and-so said…but you ain’t heard it from me.”
“He don’t talk as much as Stack, but he ain’t no saint.”
Aunt Della’s words came to mind. About things being spelled out plain and not assuming attention meant intention. But Annie wasn’t so sure if it was a warning, or just plain words of wisdom.
Was she just another woman in a line of quiet whispers?
“Annie!” It was Mr. Hightower.
She looked up.
“You been wipin’ the same spot for a minute, now.”
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head a little, plopping the rag in the bucket.
“I need you to dump the coffee in the back please,” he requested, walking off.
Annie sighed. “Yes, sir.”
She made her way to the back, coffee pots in one hand and a bucket of hot, soapy water in the other. She set the bucket by the back door and walked outside.
The back alley smelled like cigarettes and old food.
Annie’s nose wrinkled as she walked over to the trash receptacles before getting startled by a raccoon that darted out from under one of the trash bags. She managed to dump the coffee out without splashing it all over her shoes. The cool, brown liquid pooled on the ground for a minute before seeping into the dirt, the coffee grounds scattering across the wet surface like ash.
Fourth Street was alive. Wagons, voices, music, smoke drifting up from cigarettes and woodstoves. Smoke had finished one last piece of business near Fourth Street. He stepped out of the back room of a building and onto the street, money folded tight in his pocket, hat sitting low on his head. He stepped off the curb and crossed the street, slowing right in front of Blackbird Cafe. He stopped. Looked through the windows casually, trying to be subtle. He wasn’t. The writing and the glare from the sun made it hard to see, but he found her instantly.
Annie was behind the counter, but her head turned towards the kitchen. Probably listening to one of the cooks talking shit from the back like they always did. He saw her shoulders shake and her head dip forward like she was laughing at something one of them said. But when she turned back around, the smile on her face broke the room open.
Something struck him low in the chest. A possessive tightening pull on his ribs. Annie’s eyes shifted. She looked around the restaurant. Through the other waitresses that darted around her, through the people in the dining area. They kept on moving until they finally found him.
Her face went blank for a second and he thought his chest would cave in. Then it softened, then the corner of her mouth lifted slowly. Just for him. That was enough for him to walk inside before he even realized what he was doing.
The cafe got quieter when he walked in. Conversations lulled, laughter turned into low chuckles that turned into throats clearing. Men nodded to him. Either out of respect, fear, or something else. Smoke took a seat at the counter and watched as Annie made her way over with a coffee pot in her hand.
“Afternoon,” she said softly.
“Afternoon.”
“You hungry?”
“Coffee’s fine.”
She took a mug from the shelf behind the counter, placed it in front of him, and started pouring. The coffee spilled into the cup dark and hot, steam rising off the top before dissolving into the air like the things left unspoken between them.
Smoke wrapped his hands around the mug and took a sip. Warmth settled into his palms and spread throughout his chest. And it wasn’t from the coffee. “Thank you,” he said, voice low.
“My pleasure,” Annie giggled. “How was your trip?”
“Long.”
“That it?”
“Mostly.”
Annie didn’t push. She studied him for a second, topping off his coffee and wiping down the countertop while the diners went back to their own conversations and meals. She thought about saying more. She decided not to. It was too quiet now. Too many ears perked up. She reached behind the counter again, this time to pull out a clean napkin.
“Thank you,” she said as she set the napkin down next to his mug.
“For what?” His eyebrows pulled together.
“The sketchbook,” Annie said incredulously, head cocked to the side.
Smoke’s mouth twitched. “You welcome.”
“Mhmm.” She rolled her eyes playfully.
“You been good?” His voice was rough when he asked that question.
She tapped her fingers slowly on the counter as he set his mug down. Annie leaned forward on her hands. Smoke leaned forward on his arms. Annie looked at Smoke. Smoke looked at Annie.
“Been great,” she said finally. Her lips were pursed in that playful way he liked. “You?”
Smoke’s eyes moved over what he could see of her from his seat at the counter. Slowly.
“Better now.”
She raised a brow. “Oh yeah?”
“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t,” he said casually. He kept his eyes on hers.
Her mouth dropped open, whatever she was fixing to say right on the tip of her tongue when Sheila’s voice from the kitchen made it snap shut.
“Table six, order up!” Followed by two dings.
Annie turned around, quickly sliding the plates of hot food from the pass-through window onto her serving tray. She moved from behind the counter to a table with hot food and a smile brighter than the sun reflecting off the windows. Smoke watched her working, stealing glances over the rim of his mug. Every so often while she was taking an order, or refilling a coffee, she’d look over at him like she could feel his eyes on her, then quickly look away. When it started to get busier and she couldn’t steal a look at him, he felt something. Like a dull ache.
He stood as Annie finally circled back to where he was sitting, stretching his arms above his head.
“You leavin’?”
Smoke nodded. “Got some business to handle.”
He put his money on the counter, their hands meeting when she reached for it before he had pulled his hand back. The contact made them both still. Their index fingers brushed against each other where they touched for a second before pulling away completely. Their eyes met again.
“I’ll see you,” Smoke said.
“Okay,” she replied. It was just above a whisper.
He wasn’t finished. “Soon.”
Their eyes held, the contact lingering for a moment like they both had something they wanted to say but knew it wasn’t the moment.
Smoke slipped away, steps light even though he carried weight. Annie watched the door swing shut behind him, letting in a flash of air and street noise before locking it out again. She stood behind the counter still, fingers resting on the money he’d left on the table, feeling the ghost of where his finger rubbed the side of hers. She stood there for a second, letting it sink in. Two seconds went by, then three. Then she snapped out of it, pulling herself back into what she was there for— the money.
“Felicia!” Annie called for her as she carried a tray over her shoulder. “Table four said they want two more sodas!”
“Got it,” Felicia huffed.
The bell above the door rang again. Annie moved quickly, sat the diners at a table, pulled out her pen and pad. She gave recommendations, talked up the specials. She even took on an extra table—a party of six that started off with a round of drinks.
She kept herself busy. There was no such thing as a quiet moment during a lunch rush. But every time she looked out into the street, she thought of him. Coming through like he owned the place. Leaving something behind every time he walked out.
—
Smoke was far enough away that he couldn’t see her clearly through the window anymore. Just movement and light and the shape of her passing between the tables. Blackbird stayed loud and alive behind him. Annie’s world now. Part of it, anyway. The more Smoke saw her, the more he wanted to be that other part. Not keep her waiting. Not tuck her away.
Della was right. Just wanting her wasn’t enough. Other men wanted her, too. He saw the way their gaze would follow her around as she moved around the cafe…until they saw him. He heard about the one at the theater. And the preacher. But he knew she needed to hear it from him soon.
When they stared at each other before he left Blackbird, the look in her eyes held a question. One he didn’t have to ask to know. He knew one thing, he was gonna set shit straight before she was left guessing what kind of man had walked into her life.
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Summary: Elijah and Annie’s oldest daughter, Arielle, is able to convince him to let her go to a party with her friends one Friday night. When what started as a fun night out with her closest friends takes a turn, Arielle finds herself locked in a bathroom, making a hesitant phone call to her father.
Content & Warnings: Modern AU, family dynamics, sprinkles of fluff, implied underage drinking, teeny tiny mentions of blood, written and implied physical violence, harassment, coercion, shitty friends, use of the n-word.
Sneak peek…
“I don’t know. Somethin’ ain’t right,” he mutters, refreshing the screen one more time.
Annie’s free hand comes up to his forearm as she tightens her grip on his hand.
“It never feels right when one of them ain’t here. She could’ve just lost track of time, it ain’t often we let her go out without one of us dropping her off and picking her up.”
Elijah’s grip tightens on his phone. Everything she was telling him made sense, but the knot forming in his stomach was telling him otherwise.
He’d been sitting around stiffly since she left, and it eased slightly when she texted to let them know they made it. However, as more time passed, he found himself even more tense than he was before.
Annie leans closer to him, making him unclench his jaw when she leaves a few kisses on it.
“If she needs you she’ll call, Papa. You reminded her of the safe word, right?” she asks, and he nods.
Elijah’s eyes meet hers, and she can see the worry pooling in his irises. The thought of Arielle needing to use it made the feeling in his gut intensify. The word was only to be used if she was in a situation she couldn’t get herself out of, and the idea of that made his chest tighten.
“I should’ve taken her. This is why I always take her to wherever she’s going. Annie, I swear, if she has to-”
“She’s not gonna need to use it, Elijah,” Annie cuts him off as he rises out of the bed, his phone forgotten on his pillow.
“She can handle herself. You and Stack made sure of that.”
“I know she can handle herself,” he starts, beginning to pace back and forth. “I know how them lil niggas can be. Her knowing how to defend herself ain’t gon’ stop one from trying something.”
Annie sighs softly. She stands and steps into his path, making him stop in front of her. There was a deep frown on his face, and his brows were furrowed so deeply that Annie could tell he was panicked more than anything else.
“You are working yourself up,” she says firmly, her hands finding his forearms.
“You just want her to be okay. Me too, but she don’t need us makin’ all the decisions for her anymore, and it’s time for you to start getting used to that.”
He exhales deeply, his hands finding Annie’s waist as he closes his eyes and tries to ground himself.
After a few moments, he opens them and is met with Annie’s soft gaze. Her hands move up to his biceps, rubbing soothing circles in them.
“She hasn’t even texted, Annie. She normally texts if she’s gonna be late.”
“It won’t be the first time she does something she don’t normally do. It ain’t the last time it’s gon’ happen either.”
Elijah raises an eyebrow as he listens to Annie’s tone. He looks at her, not missing the way her eyebrows twitched when she finished speaking.
“It’s something you ain’t telling me?” he questions, making Annie shake her head.
“No. I just have a feeling,” she replies. He looks at her, waiting for her to explain.
“I heard her talking to Marley on the phone earlier. Something about meeting some boys,” Annie tells him, her grip on him tightening slightly when she sees the deep frown reclaiming its place on his face at the mention of the one friend of Arielle’s that he wasn’t too fond of.
“I didn’t think she’d stay out so long past her curfew, so I didn’t say anything.”
“You should have, because I would’ve told her she couldn’t go. She lied to me, Annie.”
“She didn’t lie, Elijah. She said she was going to a party with her friends. Even gave you the address like you told her she had to, and that’s where she’s at. Don’t look or sound like a lie to me, plus she's 17. Think about what you and Stack were doin’ at 17 and be glad that ain’t her,” she shoots back, raising an eyebrow.
He smacks his teeth and looks away from her.
“If she needs you, she’ll call, and if she doesn’t, you’ll get to practice your disciplinary skills when she gets home.”
“I discipline my kids just fine,” he rebuts halfheartedly, making Annie laugh.
“Even you don’t believe that,” she says, her fingers intertwining with his. “Remember when she cheated on that test?”
“I talked to her about that.”
“Yeah. You talk to her every time, and she knows that’s all you’re gonna do. She makes you think she hears you, then she moves on to the next thing as soon as you let her go. That’s Elias with a bow, and each time she plays you with those sad eyes and that pout.”
Elijah looks away for a moment before finding Annie’s eyes again, the hint of a smile on his lips.
“She got your eyes, though.”
“That’s how I know what she doin’,” Annie replies with a smile, leaning up to peck his lips.
“If she’s just out late and nothing’s wrong, then 3 weeks of early curfew,” he says.
“Good job. Now make sure you stick to it,” Annie says with a knowing look.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Elijah replies, leaning down for a kiss.
Just as Annie’s hands find his face to pull him in for another, his phone rings.
Elijah’s eyes shoot open and lock on Annie’s. They look toward his phone at the same time, Elijah pulling away to grab it after a moment.
“It’s Ari,” he mumbles, the tension in his body seeping into his voice again.
He answers it after a second, Annie’s hand finding his arm as he puts the phone on speaker.
“Arielle.”
“Papa,” she answers, and her parents clock the unease in her tone.
“I need you to come get me.”
A/N: omggggg I’m so excited about this🤣 I was standing at work one day and this idea popped into my head. I’ve been trying to get back into the groove of writing and this one shot def did it. The warnings are more precautionary than anything, nothing too intense will happen. I’ll be posting it soon!
Before she knows it, she’s already tying on her apron and clocking in.
Tonight, Michelle has something different planned for her.
Instead of shadowing a server, she pairs Annie with one of the hosts.
“I want all my servers cross-trained,” Michelle explains. “You never know when somebody gon call in or when we get slammed. Everybody needs to know how to do a little bit of everything.”
Annie nods.
“Okay.”
For most of the night, she stays up front learning the host stand.
The host shows her how to read the floor chart and keep track of which servers have tables and which sections are full.
At first the chart looks confusing.
Circles. Squares. Numbers.
Server names scribbled everywhere.
But after a while it starts making sense.
“See?” the host says. “You don’t wanna keep seating the same section over and over. You gotta spread the tables out.”
Annie nods.
“Okay, I get it.”
She learns how to estimate wait times, answer the phone, greet guests, and organize the rotation.
The work is steady enough to keep her busy but not nearly as chaotic as serving.
Every now and then she catches herself looking toward the kitchen.
Listening to the familiar sounds.
The cooks yelling across the line.
The fryers hissing.
Plates clattering through the galley.
A small part of her wishes she was back there.
Not because she liked the heat.
Or the noise.
But because she liked watching everything move.
Liked the energy of it.
And if she was being completely honest…
She liked seeing Smoke.
Though she’d never admit that out loud.
Still, the change of pace is nice.
After spending all afternoon helping with her younger siblings, it feels good to be somewhere that doesn’t require her to break up arguments, check homework, or answer a hundred questions every five minutes.
For a few hours she gets to just be Annie.
Not a babysitter.
Not a stand-in parent.
Just Annie.
And she realizes how much she needed that.
By the end of the shift, her feet ache, but she’s smiling.
Work is quickly becoming her favorite part of the day.
🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆🌆
Smoke pulls up to his twin brother Stack’s house in the 50’s.
The neighborhood is alive.
Music spills from open windows.
Kids ride bikes up and down the block even though the streetlights are already on.
A dog barks somewhere in the distance.
The smell of barbecue smoke and freshly cut grass hangs in the humid Kansas City air.
Everybody is outside.
Just like always.
When Smoke pulls up, there’s a whole bunch of niggas crowded across Stack’s porch.
Some sitting on the railing.
Some standing.
Some leaning against the columns.
Talking loud.
Laughing louder.
Passing around ideas that usually ended with somebody in handcuffs.
Smoke shuts his truck door and heads toward the house.
As soon as he steps onto the porch, everybody starts greeting him.
“What’s up, Smoke?”
“Sup, bro?”
“What it do?”
Smoke nods at everybody.
Stack stands up from the porch railing.
“Sup nigga?”
“Sup. What y’all niggas doin?”
“Nothin, bro. Tryna hit a lick.”
Smoke immediately shakes his head.
Of course.
“What y’all tryna do now?”
“There a big ass house out in Belton we saw. We tryna hit that muthafucka.”
Smoke sucks his teeth.
“Belton?”
“Yeah nigga. Belton.”
“That’s hot. Y’all gon stick the fuck out.”
Stack shakes his head confidently.
“Nah. We already been in Raymore and was successful.”
Smoke just stares.
No point.
Ain’t no use trying to talk sense into Stack.
There never was.
Stack listened to exactly one person.
Himself.
And even then it was questionable.
One of Stack’s friends, Ramon, cuts in.
“Bro, we gon be good.”
Smoke cuts his eyes at him.
“You always encouraging the stupid shit he plan out.”
Ramon immediately goes quiet.
Stack laughs.
“We doin that shit. I don’t give a fuck what nobody says.”
That was Stack.
Always had been.
Fearless.
Or maybe just reckless.
Smoke still wasn’t sure.
The two brothers couldn’t have been more different.
They shared the same face.
Same height. Same smile.
But that was where the similarities ended.
Smoke moved with purpose.
Every move he made had a reason behind it.
He worked. Saved money.
Made plans.
Thought ahead.
Stack lived for the moment.
If attention was in the room, he wanted all of it.
Good attention. Bad attention.
Didn’t matter.
He dressed better than everybody.
Talked louder than everybody.
Wanted everybody looking at him at all times.
Women especially.
And women loved him.
Hell, Smoke couldn’t even deny it.
Stack was a charmer.
Always flashing those deep dimples.
Always smiling. Always talking.
Always selling a dream.
He could walk into a room full of strangers and leave with everybody laughing.
The problem was…
He didn’t have much direction.
No real goals.
No ambitions beyond making money and having fun.
As long as the streets kept paying, Stack was content.
Meanwhile Smoke was already thinking about life beyond this.
About being a chef.
About school
About ownership.
About getting out.
A car full of niggas suddenly rides past slow.
Everybody on the porch notices.
The energy shifts immediately.
Conversations stop.
Heads turn.
The car creeps by.
The men inside stare.
The men on the porch stare right back.
Nobody says anything.
The tension hangs there.
Heavy.
Then the car keeps moving.
Stack shakes his head.
“Man, it’s fonk season. These niggas better act like they got some sense.”
A few of the homies laugh.
Stack looks back toward the house.
“Monica in there.”
Smoke glances at him.
“Yeah?”
“She off today.”
“Cool.”
Smoke walks inside.
Monica was Stack’s baby mama’s sister.
The twins met both sisters one afternoon at Swope Park.
One conversation turned into another.
And eventually everybody started messing with everybody.
Smoke and Monica never made anything official.
Never even discussed it.
They had an understanding.
They enjoyed each other’s company.
Spent time together.
Looked out for one another.
And fulfilled needs when they felt like it.
That was it.
At least that’s what Monica told herself.
Stack’s situation was completely different.
He got Korrie pregnant.
Now they lived together.
And they were toxic as hell.
Stack couldn’t stop cheating if he wanted to.
And Korrie couldn’t stop retaliating.
Every argument started the same way.
Another woman.
Another accusation.
Another explosion.
Then somehow they always ended up right back together.
Monica was different. Calmer.
Thank God.
Because Smoke couldn’t deal with all that loud shit.
He dealt with enough of it through Stack.
Even though Monica was different from her sister, she was still from the same hood. With no ambition, no goals.
Only thing she wanted to do was hang out on the block or go out with her friends every other day.
Truthfully, Smoke wasn’t looking to settle down with anybody.
Not Monica. Not nobody.
He had too much shit he was trying to accomplish.
Too many goals. Too many plans.
And every woman he met seemed more interested in what he had than where he was headed.
An hour later…
Smoke and Monica are stretched out across the bed.
The television hums quietly in the background.
A box fan rattles in the corner.
Outside, somebody’s music vibrates through the neighborhood.
Monica lays beside him staring at the ceiling.
“Man, Stack and Korrie been getting on my fuckin nerves.”
Smoke doesn’t say anything.
“The poor baby just be in the middle of them arguing. You need to tell yo brother to chill.”
Smoke finally nods.
“I have.”
A few seconds pass.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. He don’t listen and Korrie ain’t no saint either.”
Monica clicks her tongue.
“I ain’t say she was. But Stack always in some hoe face. Then when my sister do it, he blow his top.”
“Stack a grown ass man.”
Smoke shrugs.
“I’m done tryna tell him what to do. He just do the opposite. And all that arguing they do is pointless. They gon turn around and still be together.”
Monica rolls her eyes.
Because she knows he’s right.
“Anyway…”
She turns toward him.
“I called you the other night. You ain’t call me back.”
Smoke stays quiet.
Monica already knows what that means.
“Hello?” she says. “I’m talkin to you.”
Smoke finally looks over.
“Don’t start that shit, Monica.”
Monica sighs.
And lets it go.
Because this is what Smoke does.
He disappears.
Shows up when he wants.
Leaves when he wants.
Never makes promises.
Never explains himself.
The frustrating part was…
She actually liked him.
Way more than she would ever admit.
But she hides it well.
Too well.
Because admitting it would only make her look foolish.
Smoke wasn’t the type to be tied down.
Everybody knew that.
“So can I get fifty dollars to get my nails and toes done?”
Smoke closes his eyes.
Here we go.
“We goin’ to the Starlight to see Ludacris.”
Smoke grows annoyed.
Not because of the fifty dollars.
Because she always asked.
Every single time.
If he offered, cool.
But Monica had gotten comfortable asking.
A little too comfortable.
“I guess.”
He reaches into his pocket.
“You always want something.”
Monica smirks.
“So? You got it. Stop acting like it’s a problem.”
Smoke pulls a roll of money from his jeans.
Hands her forty.
She snatches it.
Smoke gives her a look.
Monica laughs.
“So mean.”
She stuffs the money away.
Then grins.
“Me and my girls wanna come up to yo job. Can you hook us up?”
Immediately Smoke thinks about Annie.
The way she stole glances across the line.
The way they stared at each other the other night.
And just like that his answer is made.
“No.”
Monica blinks.
“No?”
“No. That’s where I draw the line.”
Smoke shakes his head.
“I ain’t hooking up nobody.”
“Damn. It’s like that?”
“Hell yeah it’s like that.”
His tone leaves no room for discussion.
“That’s my fuckin job. Don’t come up to my job at all. I keep that separate. You know that shit.”
Monica grows quiet.
She knows he means it.
Before she can respond, yelling erupts from the living room.
Both of them pause.
Then Monica groans.
“Here they fuckin go.”
They get up and head toward the front room.
Sure enough.
Korrie is standing nose-to-nose with Stack.
Furious.
“Some bitch calling the house phone playing and shit, Stack!”
Stack throws his hands up.
“You giving these hoes the house phone number now?!”
Stack sucks his teeth.
“I ain’t giving out shit!”
Stack points at her.
“I don’t know what you talking about! It’s probably one of them bitch ass niggas you be fuckin wit!”
Korrie lunges.
Tries to swing.
Stack blocks it.
“Bitch, you always tryna hit somebody!”
He steps back.
“Now when I knock yo ass out don’t say shit!”
Smoke immediately steps in.
Grabs Stack.
Pulls him toward the front door.
Monica grabs Korrie.
Trying to calm her down.
Outside, Smoke and Stack’s friends gather around him.
Talking him down.
Keeping him from going back inside.
Smoke rubs his face.
Sick of it.
All of it.
The drama.
The chaos.
The constant stupidity.
As the yelling continues inside the house, Smoke looks out toward the city lights in the distance.
And for the first time that night, he finds himself thinking about somewhere else.
Something bigger.
A different life.
A different future.
Something beyond these porches, these arguments, and these blocks.
Something more.
🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀🦞🦀
One week later…
It’s a Friday night.
The dinner rush is finally over.
The restaurant smells like seafood, grease, dishwater, and biscuits.
Servers are cashing out.
The kitchen is quieter now.
Annie and Meagan sit in a booth rolling silverware.
Meagan’s phone rings.
She immediately answers.
“Hello… Yeah I’m coming Saul… No don’t leave… Here I come.”
Annie already knows that tone.
Meagan huffs dramatically.
“I gotta go. You can finish these right?”
Annie’s mouth drops open.
They’ve barely started.
There’s still two entire tubs sitting on the table.
She wants to say absolutely not.
But instead she nods.
“Yeah. I got it.”
“Thanks.”
Meagan throws a ten-dollar bill onto the table and disappears.
Annie sighs.
“Lord.”
She starts rolling alone.
A few minutes later she hears Michelle and Smoke coming from the kitchen.
“Man, I need you to get on Brandon’s ass,” Smoke says. “He been late every day. You want me to help out everywhere, which is cool, but I can’t do that if I’m the only one runnin’ the grill when the dinner rush start.”
Annie keeps her eyes down.
Listening.
“Done told his ass myself to be on time. He ain’t listenin.”
Smoke’s eyes drift toward her.
Like they always do.
Looking straight past Michelle and half listening.
“You’re right Elijah. I’ll pull him first thing tomorrow.”
“It’s Smoke,” he corrects. “And yeah. Cause if that was me you’d be on my ass.”
At the table, Annie checks her watch again.
Her stomach sinks.
There’s no way she’s gonna get done before her dad gets there.
Not with two tubs left.
She glances toward the front windows, already imagining his car pulling into the parking lot and having to explain why she’s still in there and not outside waiting.
Across the dining room, Smoke already knows exactly what happened.
He’s seen Meagan do this shit too many times.
The second Saul called, she was gone.
Running off and leaving her responsibilities behind to chase after a nigga who only seemed interested in seeing her when it was dark outside.
Smoke’s jaw tightens slightly.
He never understood it.
Especially when it meant dumping your work on somebody else.
She tries to keep rolling silverware, he notices her checking her watch every few minutes.
Fidgeting. Sighing. Shifting.
Looking toward the front door.
She ain’t saying nothing, but he can tell she’s in a hurry.
Ride probably already on the way.
Meanwhile Michelle is still talking.
“I got you. Don’t worry. I’ll let him know if he can’t get it together, he will be replaced.”
Smoke nods.
“Good.”
“Have a good night,” Michelle says before turning to leave.
Smoke gives another nod.
“Mm-hmm. You too.”
Annie keeps her eyes on the silverware in front of her.
She hears Michelle’s heels clicking away across the dining room.
The restaurant is mostly empty now.
A few servers are finishing side work.
Someone is vacuuming near the bar.
The kitchen crew is laughing about something in the back.
As Michelle walks away, his eyes find Annie again.
Still sitting there by herself.
Still trying to work through a pile of silverware that shouldn’t have been hers to finish in the first place.
For a moment, Smoke just stands there watching her.
Then he looks at the mountain of silverware.
Back at Annie.
And makes up his mind.
She doesn’t notice Smoke moving until the booth cushion shifts.
Her stomach tightens.
He slides into the seat across from her.
Quiet. Confident.
Like he belongs there.
Annie’s breath catches.
Slowly she raises her eyes.
“Hello.”
Her voice comes out smaller than she intended.
Smoke nods once.
“Hey.”
The deepness of his voice surprises her.
It was the first time she’d actually heard him speak directly to her.
Not across the kitchen.
Not during introductions.
To her.
Annie drops her eyes again.
Smoke reaches toward the center of the table.
Grabs a stack of napkins.
Then a handful of silverware.
And starts rolling.
Annie blinks.
Looks at his hands.
Looks at the silverware.
Then back at him.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’re tired and ready to go.”
No response.
He just keeps rolling.
Annie swallows and drops her head.
They fall into a rhythm.
The restaurant suddenly feels smaller.
Quieter.
Like everybody else has disappeared.
Smoke watches her while she works.
She can feel it.
Feel his eyes.
It makes her nervous.
Her hands shake slightly.
Her lashes flutter.
Every time she reaches for another napkin she becomes hyper aware of him sitting there.
Smoke can’t stop looking at her.
Not even if he wanted to.
Up close she’s even prettier.
Her skin glows beneath the restaurant lights.
Her French tips stand out against her chocolate skin.
Her lips stay glossy no matter what she’s doing.
And every time she sucks her cheeks in while concentrating…
Smoke has to force himself to look away.
Then she licks her thumb to separate another napkin. And he looks back.
They continue to sit in silence.
Rolling.
The man was clearly not much of a talker, Annie thinks to herself.
The soft crinkle of napkins fills the space between them.
Every few seconds Annie finds herself shifting. Trying to stay still.
Nervous because she really can’t believe he’s this close.
Close enough that she can smell his cologne.
It smells expensive.
Clean.
A little spicy.
Nothing like the Axe body spray boys at school wear.
Every time he reaches for silverware she notices his hands.
Big hands. Long fingers.
Small scars across his knuckles.
The hands of somebody who worked.
Really worked.
Not somebody pretending to.
Annie steals a glance upward.
Smoke catches her immediately.
Their eyes lock.
Annie jerks hers away.
Heat floods her cheeks.
Why did he keep catching her?
Across from her, Smoke hides a smirk.
She’d been doing that all week.
Looking.
Then immediately pretending she wasn’t.
The thing was…She wasn’t slick.
Not at all.
Smoke reaches for another napkin.
His arm brushes the table.
The scent of Love Spell reaches him.
He’d smelled it before.
Girls wore it all the time.
But on Annie it smelled different.
Maybe because it matched her.
Sweet. Soft. Pretty.
Everything about her seemed soft.
Her voice. Her eyes. The way she smiled.
Smoke keeps watching her while she concentrates on rolling.
She studies each piece like she’s taking a test.
Trying to make sure every roll looks right.
“You take this serious.” He murmurs
Annie looks up and laughs softly.
“It’s because I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You do.”
“No I don’t.”
“You ain’t dropped not one.”
That makes Annie smile.
A real smile.
Not the polite customer service smile she uses on tables.
This one reaches her eyes.
And for a second Smoke forgets what she was saying.
Because damn.
She’s beautiful.
The smile fades when Annie realizes he’s staring.
Again.
The tension settles back over the table.
Not uncomfortable.
Just…Heavy.
Like something neither one knows what to do with.
Smoke’s Nokia rings.
The sudden sound makes Annie jump slightly.
Smoke answers.
“Sup fool?”
Annie finally gets a chance to look at him without getting caught.
The open faced golds on his front teeth flashes when he talks.
His jaw is sharp.
His eyelashes are longer than they should be.
His beard trimmed nicely.
“Yeah… I’m gettin ready to leave in a minute….How much you need?”
Smoke glances at her.
Catches her looking.
Again.
Annie immediately looks down at the silverware.
Her stomach flips.
“…Yeah, I’m finna head to the city. Meet me at Jubilee’s. Bet. One.”
He hangs up.
The silence returns.
Neither says anything.
Neither really needs to.
Eventually they reach the final pile.
Smoke grabs the last fork.
Annie grabs the last napkin.
At the exact same time.
Their fingers brush.
Both freeze.
Just for a second.
The contact is small.
Barely anything.
Yet Annie feels it all the way up her arm.
Smoke pauses too.
His eyes lifting to hers.
Neither pulls away immediately.
Then Annie finally clears her throat.
And the moment breaks.
They finish the last roll.
Smoke stands.
Annie looks up at him.
He notices the ten dollar bill Meagan left.
His jaw tightens.
That shit wasn’t right.
Not after leaving her with all that work.
Without saying anything, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a roll of
Money, he pulls out two hundred dollar bills.
Drops them onto the table.
Annie’s eyes get huge.
“Oh no—”
Smoke raises a finger to his lips.
Shhh.
The gesture makes Annie smile.
A nervous smile.
A grateful one.
And Smoke swears his stomach drops.
He ain’t never seen a smile like that.
Annie slides out of the booth.
Before she can fully stand, Smoke reaches out. Instinct.
His hand wraps around hers.
Warm. Soft. Small.
For a second neither one moves.
Annie looks down at their hands.
Then back up at him.
Smoke looks right back.
No grin. No slick comment.
Just staring.
Like he’s trying to memorize her face.
Then finally Annie stands.
And Smoke lets go.
Neither one says what they’re thinking.
Neither one knows how.
So he simply nods.
And she nods back.
The look lasts a second longer than it should.
Maybe two.
His eyes stay on hers as he backs away.
Then Smoke turns and starts walking toward the door.
“Thank you.” She calls out to his back.
Annie’s voice stops him halfway to the door.
He doesn’t turn around.
Because if he does, he might stay.
Instead he lifts one hand over his shoulder.
Acknowledging her.
Then keeps walking.
Leaving Annie staring after him long after the door closes behind him.
Melissa and Lindsey emerge from the kitchen seconds later.
Their eyes immediately land on Annie.
Then the front door.
Then the two hundred dollar bills.
Then back to Annie.
“What was that about?” Melissa asks. “He talked to you?”
Annie shakes her head.
“Actually no.”
“What?”
“So what was he doing over here?” Lindsey asks.
Annie clears her throat.
“He helped me roll silverware since Meagan kinda left me hanging.”
Melissa’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.
“Oh wow.”
There is definitely jealousy in her tone now.
“So not only is he fine but he’s sweet too.”
Lindsey folds her arms.
“Annie, how did you get him to do that? You asked?”
Annie shakes her head.
“No. I didn’t do or say anything. He just sat down and started helpin me.”
“But he didn’t say anything?” Lindsey asks.
“Nah. Just looked at me. That’s all.”
Melissa and Lindsey exchange a look.
Both of them had spent the entire week trying to get Smoke’s attention.
And neither had gotten much more than a hello.
Yet somehow Annie—the quiet girl who wasn’t even trying—had him sitting down helping her.
Neither one liked that.
Not one bit.
“I’ve been trying to talk to him and he won’t talk,” Lindsey says.
“Me too,” Melissa adds. “He might say hi back but that’s all. He only talks to the other cooks.”
“He seems like he might be mean,” Lindsey says.
Annie shrugs.
“I don’t get that vibe. But who knows.”
Melissa laughs.
“Well I’m gonna keep trying.”
“Of course you are,” Lindsey says.
Annie laughs.
Her phone rings.
Dad.
“I gotta go.”
“See y’all later.”
They wave.
Annie grabs the money off the table and stuffs it into her apron.
Outside, her dad is already waiting.
Exactly where he said he’d be.
Just like always.
Annie climbs into the car.
The familiar smell of motor oil, coffee, and his work boots fills the vehicle.
“Busy tonight?” he asks.
“Yes. Very.”
“You getting the hang of it yet?”
“I think so.”
“Good.”
His voice softens.
“You made any new friends?”
Annie’s mind immediately drifts to Smoke.
To his eyes. His hands. His silence.
The way he helped her without asking for anything in return.
She shrugs.
“Maybe.”
Her dad raises a brow.
“Maybe?”
Annie giggles.
“Mhmm. It hasn’t been long enough yet.”
“If you say so.”
The conversation fades.
Comfortable. Easy.
That’s how things usually are between them.
Despite how strict he can be.
Despite all the rules.
Annie knows her father loves her.
Knows he’d do anything to protect her.
Which is exactly why she’d never mention Smoke.
Not yet.
Because she already knows.
Her dad would take one look at him and decide he wasn’t good enough.
He’s older
He’s Too street.
He’s Too city.
Exactly the kind of man her father spent years trying to keep away from her.
But sitting there staring out the window, Annie can’t stop thinking about him.
Because the man she’d seen tonight wasn’t what she’d expected.
He was patient. Gentle. Thoughtful.
The complete opposite of what people would assume.
And for the first time in a long time…
Annie wants to know more.
A lot more.
Outside the window, the lights of Kansas City blur past.
And Annie rests her head against the glass.
Thinking about Smoke.
Thinking about his demeanor.
Thinking about his eyes.
Thinking about what might happen next.
And for once…
She finds herself wanting to chase waterfalls.
Fuck what TLC or anybody else says…
🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃
Smoke’s sitting alone at his kitchen table, the house quiet except for the low hum of the refrigerator.
A half finished drink rests beside him, blunt in hand.
The television played in the background, but he wasn’t paying attention.
His mind keeps drifting somewhere else.
To Annie.
He leaned back in his chair and rubs a hand across his jaw.
He hits the blunt and holds the smoke in.
It had been hours since he’d left the restaurant, yet he can still picture her sitting there rolling silverware.
Head down.
Trying to finish work that wasn’t hers.
Checking her watch every few minutes.
Trying not to look stressed even though it was written all over her face.
Smoke exhales slowly.
Most people would’ve complained.
Would’ve made a scene.
Would’ve found somebody to blame.
Annie hadn’t done none of that.
She’d just kept working.
Doing what needed to be done.
That was what stuck with him.
Not just tonight.
In general.
She carried herself different.
Quiet.
Respectful.
Never in nobody’s business.
Never causing problems.
Just came in, did her job, and went home.
A rare thing these days, especially for her to be young.
His gaze drifts toward the dark window above the sink.
He thinks about the way she smiled at him earlier.
Small. Shy. Real.
Not the fake customer service smile everybody wore at work.
The memory pulls at something in his chest he wasn’t interested in examining too closely.
Smoke shakes his head.
He’s too old to be sitting around thinking about a woman like this.
Especially one who’s younger than him.
Yet here he was.
Thinking about whether she made it home okay.
Wondering if her ride had been upset she got out late.
Wondering what she was doing right now.
Probably asleep.
Probably not thinking about him at all.
The thought makes him huff out a quiet laugh.
“Yeah,” he murmurs to himself.
“Probably not.”
Still, he can’t stop thinking about her.
About the way she looked at him.
The way she smelled.
The way her skin glowed.
About how, for the first time in a long time, somebody had managed to stay on his mind after he walked away.
Smoke stares down at his drink for a moment before taking a slow sip.
Then he leans back again.
Trying and failing to think about anything else.
He can’t lie, she’s got him intrigued, and he wants to know more about her than just her name…
I wanted to write about a younger Annie and slightly older Smoke. I wanted to capture the experience of finding your first true love as an adult. I am pulling from my own experience as well as a lot of my friends. We had so much fun back in the day. 🥴😂😭 Whew! A time was definitely had.
The title of the series is called
My first Love
Inspired by the remake that Avant and Keke made.
Slightly Older Smoke
Younger Annie
Virgin Annie!
Nostalgia
Early 2000’s
Chapter 1
“Come & Talk To Me”
It’s August of 2004 in South Kansas City, Missouri.
Annie is starting her first job at Red Lobster.
She’s a senior in high school, freshly eighteen years old. Her mom and dad made it clear that if she wanted senior pictures, prom, graduation fees, class dues, yearbooks, and all the other expenses that came with being a senior, she would have to pay for them herself.
There were too many kids in the house.
Money had to stretch.
Growing up between Grandview and Raytown, Annie had lived a sheltered life. She rarely spent time in the inner city. Her dad kept her busy with school, church, chores, and helping raise her younger siblings. Most weekends were spent babysitting or cleaning instead of hanging out with friends.
At eighteen, she was still a virgin while most of her friends had already crossed that bridge years ago.
Now that she was officially an adult, her father had finally loosened the ropes a little.
Not much. Just enough.
As Annie walks through the front doors of Red Lobster, her stomach twisted with nerves and excitement.
The blast of cold air conditioning immediately hits her face.
The restaurant smells like cheddar bay biscuits, fried shrimp, butter, lemon, and seafood. A large lobster tank filled with lobsters sits in the lobby.
Glasses clink. Silverware rattles.
Servers hurry through the dining room carrying trays balance high on their shoulders.
Customers laughs from booths.
A baby cries somewhere near the front windows.
Everything feels loud.
Fast. Alive.
Annie smooths her uniform shirt and wrapped her blue apron around her waist.
Her fresh wrap hangs past her shoulders, bouncing when she moves. Her lips are coated in clear gloss and her chocolate skin glows beneath the bright restaurant lights.
She was finally making her own money.
That thought alone makes her smile.
Near the host stand stands two girls wearing the same uniform.
Both blonde.
Both looking just as nervous.
One smiles.
“You starting today too?”
“Mhmm,” Annie replies.
The girl extends her hand.
“My name is Lindsey and this is Melissa.”
“My name is Annie.”
Before they can say much else, a voice calls out behind them.
“Alright ladies.”
They turn.
Standing there is a middle-aged, skinny pale woman with tired eyes and smoker’s wrinkles around her mouth.
She looks like she drank every weekend and maybe a few weekdays too.
“I’m Michelle,” she says. “Let me show you around and introduce you to everybody. Follow me.”
The girls fall in line behind her.
Michelle leads them through the dining room.
As they walk, she introduces managers, hosts, bartenders, and bus boys.
“That’s Tony.”
“That’s Chris.”
“That’s Mike.”
Everyone nods or waves.
The farther they walk, the louder things become.
Then they reach the kitchen.
The moment Annie steps through the swinging doors she nearly stops in her tracks.
The heat hits her instantly.
Steam rises from pots.
Fryers hiss.
The smell of grease and seasoning fill the air.
Orders are being shouted from every direction.
The galley sits in the middle of it all.
One side belongs to the servers and food dressers.
The other belongs to the cooks.
A narrow window separates them where finished plates slide through.
Four cooks stand on the line.
All young. All Black. All handsome.
But one stands out immediately.
He has good height.
Around six feet.
Broad shoulders.
Muscles stretching beneath his black t-shirt.
Coffee-brown skin.
Thick lips.
Sharp jawline.
Low cut with deep waves.
Looked to be twenty one or twenty two.
He’s talking to another cook when he turns his head.
The second he does, his eyes land on Annie.
His entire expression changes.
His eyes light up.
Not dramatically.
Just enough.
Like something had caught his attention.
Then he checks it.
Goes right back to whatever conversation he was having.
Annie notices.
And for some reason, her stomach flips.
Before she can think too much about it Michelle calls out.
“Fellas! We got some new servers starting today!”
The cooks look up.
Michelle points down the line.
“This one here is Jesse. He works the fryers.”
Jesse grins. Light skinned.
Curly hair—a product of when races mix.
Looking every bit of nineteen.
“Hello ladies.”
All three girls greet him back.
Michelle continues.
“This is Brandon. He’s one of our grill cooks.”
Brandon nods.
“Sup.”
He’s slightly chubby with a perfectly trimmed beard, cornrows.
His lips are dark from years of smoking blunts.
Still handsome though.
The way Brandon looks at the new girls makes it obvious he considers them fresh fish.
Michelle moves on.
“This is Jessie and he garnishes all the food.”
The girls laugh
“Your name Jessie too?”
He smirks.
“Yeah, but I’m the better one.”
This Jessie is dark skinned and shorter than the rest.
The entire line laughs—except Smoke.
Finally Michelle points to the last cook.
“This one here is Elijah. He can do it all. Grill, fryers, whatever’s needed.”
The cook immediately corrects her.
“Smoke.”
Michelle rolls her eyes.
“My name is Smoke.”
Michelle sighs.
“Sorry. He goes by Smoke. Which I really don’t want us calling out in the kitchen, but whatever.”
Everybody laughs
Including Annie.
Smoke doesn’t.
He just looks directly at her.
Holds her stare.
Annie’s breath catches.
The boldness of it nearly makes her look away immediately.
But she can’t.
For several seconds they simply stare at each other.
The noise of the kitchen fading.
The voices. The fryers. Everything.
Then Smoke finally breaks eye contact.
And Annie finds herself breathing again.
After introductions Michelle brings the girls back into the galley.
They are paired with veteran servers.
Annie ends up with a girl named Meagan.
Meagan couldn’t have been more than twenty.
Petite. Brown skin. Pretty face.
A short ponytail swinging behind her head.
Small but loud. Very loud.
“Come on,” Meagan says immediately.
“We moving fast around here.”
Annie hurries after her.
Meagan walks so quickly Annie almost has to jog.
“This where you get your salads.”
She points.
“This where the biscuits go.”
Points again.
“This the drink station. We get free drinks.”
Another point.
Annie blinks.
“Wait.”
Meagan laughs.
“You already lost?”
“A little.”
“Girl, don’t worry. Everybody lost their first day.”
As they walk she continues talking.
“If somebody asks you for ranch, bring two. Trust me.”
“Okay.”
“If somebody asks for extra biscuits, bring six.”
“Six?”
“Yes six. White folks love these damn biscuits.”
Annie laughs.
Meagan grins.
“And stay out the managers’ faces.”
“Why?”
“Because they crazy.”
Annie laughs harder.
By the time they return to the kitchen, Meagan has already shifted gears.
Completely.
She grabs a plate from the window.
“Aye! Where the fuck is my steak?!”
The entire kitchen looks up.
“I already got fucking fries on this plate getting cold! Hurry the fuck up!”
Brandon sucks his teeth.
“Shut the fuck up! It says well done on the ticket! You’ll get it when it’s done!”
He points toward the fryer.
“Blame Jessie ass for dropping the fries too early!”
They immediately start arguing.
Back and forth. Like siblings.
Annie stands there watching in disbelief.
She glances toward Smoke.
He’s reading tickets hanging above the line.
Calling out orders.
“Two salmon.”
“One shrimp linguine.”
“Need a medium ribeye.”
Then his eyes flicker toward her.
Again.
The look wasn’t accidental.
Annie immediately looks away.
Heat rising in her cheeks.
As Meagan loads food onto her tray she smirks.
“Don’t think I don’t see you.”
Annie freezes.
“Huh?”
Meagan laughs.
“Girl please.”
Annie looks down.
“I’m not—”
“Mhmm.”
Meagan lifts her tray.
“Come on.”
Then immediately yells—
“Move the fuck out my way!”
Annie nearly jumps and everyone in the galley parts.
Once they hit the dining room though…
Everything changes.
Meagan smiles.
Laughs.
Plays peek-a-boo with babies.
Calls elderly couples sweetheart.
Asks people about birthdays.
It’s like watching two completely different people.
When they return to the kitchen Annie finally says it.
“Wow.”
Meagan looks over.
“What?”
“I just saw a different person out there.”
Meagan clicks her tongue.
“I do what I need to do for money.”
She points toward the biscuit station.
“Now go get me some biscuits.”
The day flies by.
The dinner rush hits.
And suddenly hours disappear.
The restaurant grows louder.
Hotter. Busier.
The cooks move like machines.
Servers dart around each other.
Managers yell table numbers.
By closing time Annie’s feet hurt.
Her back hurt.
But she’s smiling.
At the end of the night she and Meagan sit rolling silverware.
“You gotta roll it tight like this.”
Meagan demonstrates.
“Or they’ll complain.”
“Okay.”
“And always tip out the bar.”
“How much?”
“Ten percent.”
“And the bus boys?”
“Whatever you wanna give.”
They roll two entire tubs.
When they finish, Meagan shoves forty dollars toward Annie.
Annie stares.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Girl take it.”
“No seriously—”
“Take it.”
Annie smiles and stuffs it into her apron.
Forty dollars.
For one day.
She can’t believe it.
Outside, she pulls out her Nokia phone to call her dad.
Meagan stays behind talking to a male server named Saul.
A few minutes later the front doors open.
Smoke steps outside.
Saul immediately calls out.
“Aye bro. I need that good shit from you. I know you got some.”
Smoke nods.
“I’m gettin’ ready to bring my truck up.”
“Bet that.”
Smoke glances toward Annie.
Slowly looking her up.
Then down.
Then back up.
A chill crawls down her spine.
He walks away.
Annie looks down.
Trying to act unaffected.
Failing miserably.
There was something about him.
Something dangerous.
Like he works a regular job but belongs somewhere else after hours.
The streets. The city.
Places Annie had only heard stories about.
She was intrigued despite herself.
Eventually she gets bored waiting.
She starts playing the Snake game on her phone.
Then she hears music.
Loud music.
She looks up.
A dark blue candy-painted 1988 Chevy Silverado rolls toward them.
Chrome twenty-fours gleam beneath the lights.
Tint too dark to see through.
Bass rattles the pavement.
The truck looks expensive.
Custom.
Attention grabbing.
It pulls directly in front of the restaurant.
Smoke climbs out.
Looking straight at Annie.
Like he wants her to notice.
Like he knows she’s watching.
His non-slip shoes are gone.
Jordan’s now.
White tee.
Baggy jeans.
Confidence dripping off him.
Annie swallows hard.
Smoke finally looks away and walks over to Saul.
Leaving the truck door wide open.
Annie can’t help herself.
She peeks inside.
Leather seats painted Superman colors.
Red. Blue. Yellow.
A giant S stitched into the center.
TV screens built into the headrests.
J-Kwon’s “Hood Hop” blasts from expensive speakers.
The truck looks like something straight out of a music video.
She watches Smoke hand Saul something.
The two talk quietly.
Then Smoke turns.
Starts walking back toward his truck.
Slowly.
His eyes never leaving Annie.
Not once.
Not until he climbs inside.
He shuts the door.
Starts the engine.
Then nods at her.
Annie nods back.
The corner of his mouth lifts slightly.
Then he pulls away.
Fast.
The engine roars.
Annie jumps.
Lindsey and Melissa busts out laughing behind her.
“He so damn sexy,” Lindsey said.
Melissa nods immediately.
“Mhmm. I was making sure I kept my eyes on him all day.”
“Sameeeee.”
Lindsey laughs.
“Now that I seen his car, I gotta try and talk to him.”
Melissa smirks.
“You wouldn’t even know what to do with a man like that.”
“Maybe not. But I’m sure he can teach me.”
The girls laughs.
Annie smiles and shakes her head.
“How was your first day?” Melissa asks.
Annie shrugs.
“It was cool I guess.”
“Girl I made good money. Keisha gave me a hundred dollars.”
Lindsey’s mouth drops open.
“What?!”
Melissa laughs.
“Cortez ain’t give me nothing.”
Just then Annie’s dad pulls into the parking lot.
“See y’all later.”
They wave.
By the time Annie gets home, her siblings were asleep.
The house is quiet.
She showers.
Pulls on a t-shirt.
Then climbs into bed.
She slips her Nivea CD into her Walkman.
“25 Reasons” fills her headphones.
The room glows softly from the moonlight coming through the blinds.
Annie stares at the ceiling.
And thinks about Smoke.
The way he looked at her.
The way he held eye contact.
The confidence.
The truck.
The mystery.
Everything about him felt different from the boys she’d grown up around in South Kansas City.
He unnerved her.
Made her curious.
Made her nervous.
Made her want to know more.
Her heart skips just thinking about the way he’d stared a hole through her before leaving.
Eventually her eyes grow heavy.
The music plays softly.
And somewhere between thoughts of Smoke and dreams of tomorrow, Annie finally drifts off to sleep.
🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃
Smoke rides through Kansas City with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the console.
Rich The Factor thumps through the speakers.
Streetlights blur across his windshield as he cuts through the city.
Normally he doesn’t think about work once he’s off the clock.
Once he’s done cooking, he’s done.
But tonight his mind won’t stay where it’s supposed to.
It keeps drifting back to the same person.
The new girl.
Annie.
He shakes his head.
“Damn.”
The truck rolls through Prospect.
Then toward 39th.
Then back out south.
Making stops.
Dropping off what his customers need.
Collecting money.
Conducting business.
The usual.
But every time he finds himself alone again, his mind circles right back to her.
He sees her standing in the kitchen.
Fresh wrap, hair bouncing whenever she moved.
Glossy lips.
Big brown eyes.
Chocolate skin glowing under those fluorescent lights.
Shy. Quiet.
Completely out of place.
And that’s exactly what caught his attention.
Most girls would’ve been giggling.
Showing off, like the other two who started with her.
Trying to get noticed.
Not her.
She barely looked anybody in the eye.
When Michelle introduced them, Smoke noticed the way Annie stood with her hands folded in front of her.
Almost nervous. Almost innocent.
Like she wasn’t used to being around people like him.
And she definitely wasn’t.
Smoke knew the difference immediately.
He’d met girls from every part of Kansas City.
The hood.
The suburbs.
The projects.
Annie wasn’t from his world.
He could tell.
The way she talked.
The way she carried herself.
The way she blushed when he looked at her.
The girl was green. Fresh.
And Lord help him…
That made her ass even prettier.
Smoke pulls into a gas station on Troost.
One of his regular customers walks out.
Money exchanges hands.
Business gets handled.
A few words are spoken.
Then he’s back on the road.
The city glows around him.
Neon signs. Liquor stores.
Corner stores.
People hanging outside apartment buildings.
Cars rolling through intersections.
Kansas City at night.
His city.
His phone rings.
It’s Brandon.
Smoke answers.
“What’s up?”
“You hittin the club tonight?”
“Nah.”
“Damn. Why?”
“Ain’t really feelin it.”
Brandon laughs.
“Bullshit.”
“What fool?”
“You thinkin’ about that new girl.”
Smoke chuckles.
“I don’t know what the hell you talkin about.”
“Man please.”
Smoke hears Brandon sparking a blunt.
“You ain’t slick. The whole line saw you starin’ at her ass.”
Smoke shakes his head.
“Tskk Whatever nigga.”
“Nah. Whatever my ass. You was looking at her like she was the last biscuit in that muthafucka.”
Smoke laughs despite himself.
“Nigga shut the fuck up.”
“And she was lookin’ at yo ass too.”
Smoke doesn’t answer.
Because she had been.
Every time he looked up.
She was looking.
Then she’d immediately look away.
Like she’d gotten caught.
The memory makes him smirk
“See.”
Brandon starts laughing.
“You smiling right now ain’t you?”
“Man get the fuck off my phone.”
“You got it bad already my nigga.”
Smoke hangs up.
Still smirking
He drums his fingers against the steering wheel.
The truth is…
He doesn’t get nervous around women.
Never has.
Women usually come easy.
But there was something different about Annie.
She didn’t seem impressed by his truck.
Didn’t know about his reputation
Or the fact that half the city knew his name.
Hell, she seemed like she barely talked.
But every time she’d looked at him today, Smoke felt something strange settle in his chest.
Something he couldn’t quite explain.
The truck slows at a red light.
Smoke glances at the passenger seat.
Empty.
Then he thinks about Annie sitting there.
Looking around.
Asking questions.
Laughing.
The image appears so clearly that it catches him off guard.
“Damn.”
The light turns green.
Smoke pulls off.
For the first time all night, he realizes he’s smiling like a fool and he hardly ever smiles.
One day.
That’s all it took.
One day.
The rest of the night passes in a blur of business.
More stops.
More conversations.
More money.
Eventually he pulls into his apartment complex sometime after midnight.
The city finally quiet.
He kills the engine.
The music dies.
For a moment he just sits there.
Looking through the windshield.
Thinking.
Annie.
Her smile.
Her eyes.
The way her eyes got wide every time he caught her staring.
Then he remembers the way she nodded back when he pulled off.
A simple little nod.
Nothing special.
Yet it’s the thing he remembers most.
Smoke climbs out and locks the truck.
As he heads toward his apartment he laughs softly to himself.
Because for the first time in a long time…
He’s actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow.
And he already knows exactly why.
📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️📚✏️
The next day at school, Annie is sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with her best friends Ebony, Devin, and Rhonda.
The cafeteria is loud as always.
Trays slam against tables.
Kids yell across the room.
A group of football players are crowded around two tables arguing about who won a game of Madden the night before.
The smell of pizza, french fries, and cafeteria tacos hangs in the air.
A teacher blows a whistle somewhere near the vending machines.
Annie picks at her fries while her friends crowd around the table.
Ebony turns toward her.
“So how was your first day of work?”
Annie shrugs.
“It was okay. It’s fast paced but I can handle it.”
Devin immediately perks up.
“Shit, I can’t wait until you in there good. I need the hook up, girl.”
Annie shakes her head.
“Here you go. Stay tryin’ to get free food. We don’t even get free food. We only get half off.”
“Oh wow,” Devin says. “They can’t even give y’all free food?”
“Uh no. We get free drinks though.”
Rhonda cuts in.
“What good is that?”
“Shit, I’d take that. Free is free,” Ebony says.
Then she leans forward.
“Anyway, we goin to Bannister Mall Saturday or what?”
Rhonda immediately shakes her head.
“Nah. Let’s go to The Landing Mall. That’s where all the fine niggas at. Don’t nobody wanna see the same niggas we see at school every day.”
Devin points across the table.
“Yo fast ass always tryna go down in the city.”
“So?” Rhonda shoots back. “Them niggas ain’t boring. I love ridin wit em while they buss serves.”
The girls busts out laughing.
Annie shakes her head.
“I can’t. I gotta babysit and I haven’t even gotten paid yet.”
Devin groans dramatically.
“You always gotta watch them damn crumb snatchers.”
“Yeah,” Rhonda adds. “They bad as hell.”
“I know y’all,” Annie says. “Butttt what can I do? They my siblings.”
Ebony shakes her head.
“You better than me.”
“Whatever.”
Annie tries to laugh it off, but the familiar frustration creeps in.
Because the truth is…
She doesn’t want to babysit.
Not every weekend.
Not every Friday night.
Not every time her friends are doing something fun.
She loves her brothers and sisters.
Would do anything for them.
But sometimes it feels like she’s helping raise them instead of just being their sister.
Meanwhile everybody else gets to be teenagers.
Everybody else gets to go to the movies.
Go to parties.
Hang out at the mall.
Ride around.
Have fun.
Annie feels like she’s constantly missing something.
She stares down at her tray.
Ready for the day she can finally get away from home.
Ready for the day she doesn’t have to ask permission for every little thing.
At this rate she doesn’t even want kids.
Ebony pulls her from her thoughts.
“Ryan was looking for you earlier.”
Annie immediately rolls her eyes.
“I don’t know why. That’s been over.”
“I don’t know,” Ebony says. “He told me to give you this letter.”
She slides the folded paper across the table.
“Don’t do him like that. Y’all was so cute together.” Devin says
Annie groans.
Ryan was Annie’s ex-boyfriend.
If that’s what you wanted to call him.
Most of their relationship happened at school.
The rest happened through whispered late-night phone calls that Annie had to sneak to make.
At first she liked him.
Thought he was sweet.
Then she found out he loved attention way more than he loved her.
Especially attention from girls.
When he got caught kissing another girl on a football trip, Annie was devastated.
Not because she lost Ryan.
But because she trusted him.
Then when she confronted him, he tried to make it her fault.
Told her she didn’t spend enough time with him.
Told her she cared more about following her parents’ rules than being his girlfriend.
Annie broke that shit off immediately.
Ryan never got over it.
Even though he was talking to another girl now—the same girl he was caught kissing.
It was like he couldn’t handle the fact that Annie left him first.
And everybody at school knew it.
Annie stuffs the letter into her pocket.
Rhonda grins.
“That little long paragraph he wrote on your guestbook on BlackPlanet was too cute.”
Annie sucks her teeth.
“It was not. I cussed him out too because who does that? You just supposed to put your name in there. Not write whole paragraphs for the whole world to see.”
Devin laughs.
“He loves you girl.”
Annie waves her off.
“Ryan don’t know shit about love. I blame Kevion for setting me up with his ass.”
Ebony points.
“That’s who you should’ve gotten wit.”
Annie immediately knits her brows.
“Hell no. That’s like my brother. He’s annoying as hell. I don’t see how any girl can put up wit him.”
“You can,” Devin says.
Annie throws a fry at her.
“Anywayyyy let’s change the subject.”
The girls crack up.
The bell rings moments later.
Everybody starts standing.
Chairs scrape across the floor.
Backpacks zip.
Teachers begin ushering students toward class.
The four girls gather their things and head toward the hallway laughing.
♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️
A little later, Annie is sitting in her last period.
The teacher is at the front of the room droning on about something written across the chalkboard.
Most of the students aren’t paying attention.
A few are passing notes.
Some are sleeping.
Others are listening to CDs through one headphones hidden beneath their hoodies.
Sunlight streams through the classroom windows.
Annie reaches into her pocket and pulls out Ryan’s letter.
She unfolds it carefully beneath her desk.
Immediately she recognizes his handwriting.
Messy. Slanted.
Trying too hard to be cool.
She starts reading.
’Sup,
Nothin much this way just chillin like a muthafuckin villain.’
Annie rolls her eyes so hard they almost hurt.
“Boy…”
She shakes her head and keeps reading.
‘Anyway, you really not returning my calls? That shit crazy. I told you I ain’t mean for it to happen. I know you probably heard about me and Dana but she don’t mean shit to me. She ain’t you. I’m only wit her now cause you won’t take me back. I miss you and I know I blamed you for yo parents being so strict but it ain’t yo fault and that’s my bad. If you can meet me at my locker at the end of the day. Just give me another chance Annie. Please. I hope to see you later.’
This is my sorry for 2004...
Peace,
Ryan
Annie stares at the paper for a few seconds after she finishes. She holds in a laugh at the song reference.
She folds it back up.
Then unfolds it again.
Her jaw tightens.
The nerve.
The absolute nerve.
Ryan really had some audacity.
Dana don’t mean shit to you?
Then why was your tongue in her mouth?
Annie immediately feels her blood pressure rise.
The memory comes back clear as day.
Her friend’s phone call.
The embarrassment.
The disbelief.
Then Ryan standing in front of her trying to explain it away.
Trying to make her feel guilty.
Trying to convince her that somehow his cheating was connected to her parents being strict.
That part probably irritated her more than the actual kiss.
Because Ryan knew her situation.
He knew how hard it was for her to do anything.
He knew she couldn’t just leave whenever she wanted.
Knew she had younger siblings to help with.
Knew her father wasn’t playing that sneaking out shit.
Yet somehow he still tried to make her feel responsible for his choices.
Annie sucks her teeth quietly.
“Whatever.”
The girl beside her glances over.
Annie immediately looks back toward the board.
But her mind keeps drifting.
A small part of her wonders if she should meet him.
Just hear him out.
Maybe he really was sorry.
Maybe he meant what he wrote.
Maybe—
She cuts the thought off immediately.
No.
Because if he was really sorry, he wouldn’t have done it.
And even if she forgave him…
What would change?
Ryan still liked attention.
Still flirted too much.
Still thought apologies fixed everything.
The truth was she didn’t trust him anymore.
And once trust was gone…
What was left?
Annie folds the letter one final time.
Smaller this time.
Until it’s just a tiny square.
Then she shoves it into her backpack.
Decision made.
She isn’t meeting him after school.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Not ever.
Ryan had his chance.
He chose Dana.
Now he could go be with Dana.
The final bell eventually rings.
Students immediately jump up from their desks.
Books slam shut.
Chairs scrape across the floor.
The hallway fills with noise.
Annie gathers her things and heads toward the door.
As she walks down the hallway, she spots Ryan leaning against his locker exactly where he said he’d be.
Looking around.
Waiting.
Searching every face that passes by.
Waiting for her.
Annie slows for half a second.
Just long enough to see the hopeful look on his face.
Then she keeps walking.
Straight past him.
Without stopping.
Without speaking.
Without even turning her head.
A few moments later she hears him call her name.
“Annie!”
She keeps walking.
“Annie!”
Her grip tightens around her backpack strap.
But she never looks back.
Eventually his voice disappears behind her.
And for the first time since they broke up…
She feels completely sure she made the right decision.
By the time she reaches the parking lot, Ryan is already fading into the background.
And strangely enough…
The person occupying her thoughts isn’t him at all.
It’s a quiet cook from Red Lobster who hadn’t even said one word to her.
A man named Smoke.
And that realization makes Annie shake her head at herself.
Because she doesn’t even know that man.
Yet somehow she’s smiling on the ride home.
♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️♾️
When Annie makes it home, the house is quiet for all of five minutes before the phone rings.
The loud ring echoes through the house.
Annie drops her backpack by the couch and picks up the cordless phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey baby,” her mother says.
Annie smiles automatically.
“Hey Mama.”
“I need you to feed your siblings before you go to work.”
Annie’s shoulders immediately slump.
“But Mama…” she groans. “I don’t have much time. Where’s Edward at? He can feed them.”
“Annie, don’t question me.”
Her mother’s tone isn’t harsh, but it leaves little room for debate.
“He’s at theater practice.”
Annie sighs.
Of course he is.
Edward was the second oldest—16, but he was hardly ever home.
Between theater, choir, band, and whatever school activity he had signed up for that month, he managed to stay busy.
Meanwhile Annie somehow always ended up being the one available.
“Your dad will be home shortly to take you to work. Watch your baby sister closely. She had to stay home from daycare today. Your auntie just dropped her off, so make sure her pull up is dry please.”
Annie glances at the clock.
She really doesn’t have much time.
Still…
“Okay.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome.”
After hanging up, Annie drops the phone back onto its charger and heads into the kitchen.
The house smells faintly like laundry detergent and whatever cleaning products her mother used that morning.
Her six year old twin siblings are somewhere throughout the house.
The twelve and fourteen year old are watching 106th and Park.
The youngest who is two years old is playing with toys on the floor.
Nobody seems remotely concerned about dinner.
Annie rolls her eyes.
“Y’all know y’all gotta eat, right?”
A chorus of the twelve and fourteen year old groans follows.
“We tryna go outside and hoop in a minute.”
She ignores them.
Opening the freezer, she pulls out french fries.
Then grabs the ground beef from the refrigerator.
Before long the smell of sloppy joes fills the kitchen.
The meat sizzles in the skillet.
The fries crisp up in the oven.
The twins and the two year old begin wandering into the kitchen one by one, drawn by the smell.
“Is it done yet?”
“No.”
Five minutes later.
“Is it done now?”
“No.”
Another five minutes.
“What about now?”
Annie points toward the living room.
“If y’all don’t get out this kitchen.”
The kids scatter, laughing.
Eventually dinner is ready.
Annie fixes everyone’s plates and lines them up on the table.
“Sit down.”
Nobody moves fast enough.
She snaps her fingers.
“Now.”
Chairs scrape against the floor.
The kids finally sit.
Annie watches them start eating before grabbing her own plate.
For a few minutes the only sounds are kids smacking and the television playing in the next room.
Then, as soon as they’re done, Annie starts gathering homework folders.
The complaints begin immediately.
“Aww man.”
“I already did mine.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.”
“Bring it here then.”
The child suddenly grows quiet.
Exactly.
Annie shakes her head.
Sometimes she felt more like a third parent than a big sister.
She sits at the table helping one sibling with spelling words while another struggles through multiplication.
She holds her baby sister in her lap.
Outside, she hears her father’s truck pull into the driveway.
Relief instantly washes over her.
Because as much as she loved her family…
She was more than ready to get out of the house and head to work.
Even if it was only for a few hours.
It was the one place lately that felt like it belonged to her….
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