عزيزتي تبدو رائعًا جدًا

you work for a few hours without distractions here’s a coke.

you drink your white claws after not eating all day, here’s a meal.. but only after you’ve had all the ones you’ve wanted is the food okay..

i wasn’t like this before, i never cared. But i swear the moment the doctor said “You lost 20 pounds in one year” everything changed in my brain.. and they have no idea.

It was only because of my diverticulitis that food became such a trigger. I went to the E.R 8 times from 2022 to December of 2023.. and had surgery… of course it changed but the weight loss changed it to an unhealthy way.. because now i don’t want to eat, because i know not eating (from past stomach problems) results in weight loss..

It’s a fucked up cycle and i don’t know what to do, i want it to stop but i don’t want to gain more weight, i want to lose it.. but im so hungry.

i’m lost, idk.