ibbu

If it came to be that we could stay as children forever

Thinking about Shinichi’s noose-like scarf again and what discarding it means about his worldview and how he fits into the world

he’s always on about wabisabi and the beauty of impermanence, he mentions to Tarou how he’s accepted that he can’t be as ephemeral and fleeting as a cloud, then he throws away the scarf.

motherfucker was depressed and withdrawn and framed it as his commitment to wabisabi writing poems alone, drifting through life without making strong relationships, living in his big old house alone People come to see him and tell him their problems but it’s not reciprocal, he’s above all that in his mind then he actually formed bonds with the Donbrothers hearing complaints about his behavior was a first for him. Sononi was the first time he attempted to initiate a relationship with someone and he was instantly rebuffed, which was shocking to him Confusion over being jealous that Sonoza is Haruka’s friend now too. She basically bulldozed him into a friendship because that’s just how Haruka is and she needed help from the only other Donbrother she knew at the time. Now she’s got another friend that isn’t him? Wasn’t this their thing?

Shinichi has been on a hell of a journey we were not really privvy to While everyone else is dramatic as fuck he’s just slowly churning everything over in his mind and it crystallized when he needed to answer Tarou He was happy to meet the Donbrothers, and Tarou. Because it made him think about his convictions and how he fits into the world. The fleeting beauty of a cloud isn’t a thing for a human to aspire to. We’re too solid and permanent for that. The enduring bonds between people are also beautiful He actually does want that

[ID: a screenshot from discord of user Miyuko saying “Also on Shinichi. His roll call phrase is “goodbye transient world.” Someone has reacted with the sad eyes emoji.]

I don’t think he did this consciously, I think he fooled himself. Any family of Shinichi’s is never mentioned, but he lives alone in a big old house at the age of 21 having never held a real job. It’s definitely an expensive place if you were to buy it, but it’s clearly old and doesn’t look like the home of someone rich. It looks like a normal family home of a certain age. And worn like maybe it’s been cared for by a broke teen for years.

I think maybe he lost his family too young and found wabisabi partially appealing because he found comfort in the idea, and safety in the idea of drifting through life without tether. Imperfect and impermanent.