Positively Fit

My first (and probably only) competition is in the books. This was originally posted on my FB as some final thoughts the day after. I realize now that the format is repetitive of what I just posted, but whatever. The Renica mentioned is my work wife and bestest friend in LV, the Ann Perkins to my Leslie Knope. Sometimes the Leslie to my Ann. Either way, I love her.  I’ve had a few people ask about yesterday and last night, so for the sake of efficiency, I’ll just put it here. First, I can’t begin to express my gratitude. I was mortified when I was in last call-outs; my first thoughts were of how all the people who were rooting for me would feel like I let them down, or like I didn’t try hard enough. Some of that is the way my brain works, and some of that was from the complete lack of food and water. The competition itself. Well.

The Good: I HATE being tan. The spray tanning process itself is freezing, and we all know how much I enjoy being cold, so you can imagine how pleasant I was about that. That being said, standing around naked with a bunch of other women was super cool, and NOT for that reason, perverts. We were all so different. Varying heights, weights, muscle mass, age. One girl looked like a legit Barbie doll, another was covered in tattoos, one had a decent amount of plastic surgery, and another looked like she’d had a double mastectomy. They were all beautiful. I know a lot of men seem to think women all look at each other naked and are cool with it, but that doesn’t happen often. Even with our best friends, we usually face away from each other when we change because we’re so self conscious. This was something else altogether, and I’m grateful that I was able to be part of it. The women competing in figure were super rad. They shared my dressing room in the morning while Renica, bless her beautiful heart, was doing my makeup. They were relaxed, funny, and all supportive of each other. Ten minutes wouldn’t go by without one woman complimenting another. They took a lot of time to be kind to me, especially after they found out it was my first show. If I ever do this again, it’ll be in their category. The body builders were also awesome. Joked around with a few, because they were the only ones backstage who didn’t look like they were about to stab someone with a high heel. One guy was freaking out--it was his first show, too--so we talked about food and how he used to be an Army scout. Another dude and I spent a good amount of time ripping on each other; he called me psycho (because apparently all the bikini women are) and I called him a fatass. We high-fived and went about our day. Aside from the tan, I thought I looked really pretty. I loved my hair, the green suit and the amazing eye makeup (THANK YOU RENICA) made my eyes pop, and I thoroughly enjoy all the sparkly things. 

The bad: The feeling good about myself ended as soon as more women in my category showed up. I texted my trainer early on and told him that my quads were bigger than some of their waists. I think he thought I was joking, but that night, he and another one of my girlfriends agreed that I did in fact have the biggest legs out of the twenty-eight competitors. I could also probably clean and press a few of those women, but I wasn’t thinking about that at the time. All I could think about was how big I looked, and how fat I felt next to the others. Which, I’m sorry, fuck that. I dropped from 26% to 18-ish% body fat in two and a half months. That is bad ass and insane and anything that makes me feel shitty about my body has no place in my life. If I were to do well in bikini, I think I’d have to be much skinnier, and that’s not okay for my brain or my body. The ugly: pretty much the personalities of everyone I didn’t mention in The Good. The women I was with were incredibly catty. They didn’t joke around at all. They bitched about how long things were taking. They were rude to the backstage staff and the stage managers. Honestly, my posing suffered because of it--our stage manager told us we had about four seconds on stage. That’s six less than we’re supposed to have, but whatever. As far as I’m concerned, once the house is open and the lights go up, the SM is god and his word is gospel. Those who went out before me disagreed, and because they took their sweet time, I had less. So I tripped on my pivot and completely screwed up my back pose. That was especially unfortunate, because I know damn well that  have a better butt than a some of the winners. even so, I care less about that and more about following rules. There was no camaraderie. The body builders high-fived on stage and congratulated each other. When we were up, we clapped for the top five. And by “we”, I think it was me and two other women out of the remaining twenty-three.  I get that losing is disappointing, I really do. I sobbed for a good half hour after I got home from prejudging. But come on. First rule is always don’t be a dick. 

Tuesday: (Question/Reflection) When do you lose your motivation? Find little ways to keep you on track! (i.e. smart snacking, water consumption, writing out your goals, post-it notes) I can’t take rest days. Like, ever. I can work out consistently for a year, but it never becomes a habit; if I go a day or two without being active, it just as easily can turn into a month or five. That’s honestly the biggest reason I started working at a gym--I’m already there, so I may as well work out. 

Wednesday: (Challenge) Find a fun new way to get your strength/stretching in with these yoga videos:

Beginners’ yoga :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_SE2gQwXoo

Yoga for flexibility: level one -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JiIb8nUNJM

Yeah, this....didn’t happen. I love my yoga, I teach on occasion, and I’m sure this videos are great. I’ll be happy to try them once I can start working out again next week!

Thursday: (Activity) Find someone else doing #61DTG2015 that you do not currently follow and send a “hello” message :) It won’t let me send an ask or fan mail, but I wanted to say hi to @deartreadmill, because she seems awesome and those lettuce wraps look amazeballs. Hi! *waves*