hey you
you in the captain's chair
what up
let's do a thing yo
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@livelongandfuckyou
hey you
you in the captain's chair
what up
let's do a thing yo

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everyone's in my drafts i will respond later i feel kinda crappy
Oswin processed the joke for a moment. Particularly the end bit. âSo you would basically be saying he has sex with Klingons? Or will be?â She snickered. âSounds like something I would say to someone I donât like. I like it!â
"Yes, that would be the gist of it. And it would be more suited to an individual one was not fond of. There are few jokes that suit a more amiable environment. Amusement is tantamount to emotion, and as such there is little place for it."
Jim snorted at the attempt. âFlying by the seat of your pants is another phrase that works too. Or pulling a me.â He leaned his head on the otherâs shoulder, chest against Spockâs back. âThereâs gotta be something I can do?â
"I truly cannot think of anything," Spock admitted. "I am not even sure what I am asking myself to do at this point in time. I am not partial to this plan, but it seems the only logical one that results in our survival. They are convinced this serum can be produced."
âWell, if you ever need help coming up with any jokes or comebacks for those sort of situations, you can always ask me,â She smiled at him. âIn fact, why donât you try out your joke material with me now. Iâm sure you lot have some jokes on science and being logical, right?â
Spock considered it for a moment. Vulcan humor was dry, tongue-in-cheek, and not often expressed. However, that did not make it wholly inaccessible. "The basis of Vulcan humor is... typically arrogant," he said eventually. "It is usually derived through demeaning another species, which I would prefer to avoid, or through comically logical responses to another species' joke which shows illogical structure."Â
He paused. "The Vulcan retort to your comment would have been, frankly, rude. For example, 'it is a suitable task for the captain, as he has shown aptitude in doing so repeatedly and often. I expect his next visit to the Klingon homeworld will be enlightening for him.' You see now why I chose not to respond."

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Bones smirked ruefully, rolling his eyes. Heâs pretty sure Spock just took 200 words to say the equivalent of, âWhat are Friends For?â Damn Vulcans.Â
Watching the science officer consider his question, Leonard leaned back in his seat as well. He hadnât intended to divert Spockâs question and answer session, but heâs kinda glad he did. He found himself learning more about his companion than heâd ever thought to in the past. That Spock could feel inferior to anyone, even himself, was an interesting revelationâŚ
âheh, yeah⌠those are all some pretty human emotions, Spock. Though you make them sound much more altruistic than the average human would..â Bones replied, propping a booted heel up on the edge of his chair, half perched on the cushion.
âYâdonât feel like you have to compete with this other version of yerself, dâyou? Itâs like you said, the alternate future has made yâboth two very different people.â âŚor at least a little different, Bones internally amended. He shook his head, â..Yer not ever gonna be just like Spock Prime, even when you do reach his age. Youâll be yer own manâŚâŚer, Vulcan.â
McCoy pursed his lips in thought, his eyes trained on Spock. ââŚand neither of you were tâblame for what happened to yer planet. That was the work of a madman, beyond yer ability to control. Feeling responsibility for something that no one could have prevented isâŚ. itâs  human thing tâdo, too.âÂ
But to Bones, that wasnât sure a bad thing. He wondered how he could have ever doubted that Spock had a conscience.Â
"Vulcans typically dismiss these sorts of notions upon encountering them," Spock mused. "There is no room for doubt. There is room for the well-reasoned arguments of others, of course - it would be impossible to learn if one were always certain one were correct."
He examined Bones' question thoughtfully. "Do I feel I must compete with him? No," he answered almost immediately. "To compete with myself would be illogical. In fact, for two identical versions of the same person to exist in one timeline would be highly illogical and redundant, a conclusion I have only just now discovered. It simply seems as though he fulfills... idealistic conditions. I would not wish to be in his place," he added quickly. "It is a complicated matter."
He was silent for a time, and finally exhaled heavily. "I suppose the root of the matter is uncertainty, which seems to be an issue I am plagued by as of late. His presence has caused issues which many theoretical temporal physicists have postulated. Does knowing the future change it, or make it more certain? It seems obvious that knowing it must change it, based on the facts. However, I must confess I find myself conflicted on what choices I am to make to simultaneously live up to the potential I now know myself to possess and yet remain an individual without following in the footsteps of my alternate self. I wonder if I even can."
Oswin followed Spock to the docking bay. She frowned. He didnât even bother to make a logical comment about how it was their mission to go where no one has gone before. Oswin had always been comfortable with her pansexuality, but she supposed for somebody like Spock, the topic of sexuality was too⌠illogical, she supposed. Jim had said they wanted their relationship to be more on the down low. âOi,â She said to him. âI didnât mean to be mean with the comment. Iâm always saying teasing stuff like that. Just my way of being friendly, yeah?â
"Vulcans do not discuss such topics," he replied, not unkindly. "Unless extenuating circumstances occur - and these circumstances must be exceptionally extenuating - it is considered taboo. We are a culture that represses emotions and physical contact," he explained. "I am aware that Humans often joke about the subject in an amiable manner, and I am making every effort to become more comfortable with a more heterogeneous atmosphere, being in Starfleet, but I have not yet been able to overcome this particular cultural barrier."Â
Eyes widening fractionally, Bones stared at Lt. Commander for a long moment in mute surprise. In a Million years, the doctor never would have surmised that Spock would view him so favorably.Â
âSpock, I⌠I think that might be the nicest thing yeâever said tâmeâŚâ Even with the jibe about his linguistic choices and his bad attitude. Clearing his throat abruptly, Leonard glanced away in effort to mask the tinge of warmth in his cheeks. ââŚYeah⌠Well. Thank you. That actually.. somehow I feel a little better. I guess it means more, coming from you.âÂ
Why was that? Was it because he knew the Vulcan wouldnât lie about his opinion to salvage Bonesâs feelings? Spockâs honesty could be brutal, but it was also refreshing.Â
And maybe he was right. Bones could spend a lifetime beating himself up about his failed marriage, but what would be the point? Didnât he have a brighter future now than heâd had spinninâ his wheels in Georgia?  Even with his fear of space travel, Leonard had somehow obtained aâŚhell, it was a damned good position aboard the best starship in the fleet. That was something more than heâd ever expected of himselfâŚÂ
Darting his gaze back to Spock, the doctor tried to scowl, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward instead. ââŚI usually hate it when yer right, yâknow⌠but this time, itâs not so badâŚâ
Letting his eyes drop back to his hands, dangling from where heâs braced his elbows on his knees, Bones asked, ââŚ.Dâyou ever worry, about the differences between yerself and the other Spock? Spock Prime?â His eyebrow quirked up curiously, âyou are the only one of us that gets to talk to their alternate reality self face-to-faceâŚâÂ
"It is only the truth as I see it," Spock replied calmly. "It seems only logical to provide as unbiased an account as I can provide when it seems that a fellow crew member is distressed by emotional turmoil resulting from what I consider a skewed perception of the truth."
Spock paused for a very long time, fingers steepled as he leaned over the PADD the doctor had returned to him. "I would not say IÂ worry," he began, then paused again. "You felt as though you had failed, moreso in the alternate timeline than in this one. I expect that my own personal view is perhaps more subjective than I should permit, but in comparing myself to the alternate, I feel as though I am inferior in composition. It appears as though he has successfully united the two halves of his self, both Human and Vulcan. As I am sure you are aware, I still struggle with this concept. It is a unique position, now more than ever with so few Vulcans left. I cannot help but feel that the destruction of Vulcan was our fault - it is harder to make a clear division between myself and him unless I examine myself in detail, which reveals faults I do not wish to face... I think this is part of being Human, is it not?"
Spock takes a deep breath and sits back, collecting his thoughts. "I remind myself that I am much younger than he, and more prone to mistakes as I have not obtained the wisdom that those much older than myself possess, and will not do so till I have become them. It seems Human also to feel some impatience for this time."
âFuck,â Jim swore as the blood was taken. âYou werenât kidding, that may hurt.â He rubbed his arm, frowning as he watched the other before moving over. âSpock, how can I help?â He had a steely determination in his eyes that, if harnessed, could be deadly. And that notion in itself was somewhat chilling.
"I do not know," Spock admitted. "I am conducting a game by a hearing organ," he added. "I must admit that particular colloquialism escapes me more than usual..." He turned his attention back to his work, examining a bottle. It had turned a rather putrid shade of green, and he frowned at it. "The impurity of the chemicals with which I am working ensures a flawed product regardless," he muttered to himself.Â
Bones accepted the PADD gratefully, settling back in his seat to scan the notes provided. ââŚthis is⌠everything the Original Spock knew of my counterpart?â The doctorâs eyes flicked over the sparse amount of information, grunting in dissatisfaction. ââŚyeâd think thereâd be more.â
Divorced, with one daughter named Joanna. And somehow this other Bones had screwed up so badly that sole custody was granted to Jocelyn. Christ.Â
Glancing up at Spock, Leonard grumbled begrudgingly, ââŚ.Jocelyn and I divorced because she was cheatinâ on me⌠If weâd had a kid, Iâd have fought her for âem. Whatâs this Bonesâs excuse?â
He handed the PADD back to the Lt. Commander, his shoulders slumping slightly, ââŚI guess yer right. Weâre all different now because of the USS Kelvin incident with NeroâŚâ Sighing, the doctor rubbedat his forehead. âI just thought⌠maybe in another reality, Iâd have had my shit together a little better than I do in this life.âÂ
Spock tilted his head slightly. "A successful marriage is only one indicator of personal achievement in Human society. If I am not mistaken, successful careers and rewarding friendships are also included. I fail to see how either version of Leonard McCoy has..." He paused to think of a less vulgar phrasing. "For lack of a better term, failed in any way. I am not familiar with the statistics of divorce, but it appears to be a common occurrence for your species. While I do not agree with your linguistic choices and I find your manner to be brusque and standoffish more often than not, from an objective point of view you seem to be no more or less successful than any other member of Starfleet. In fact, I rescind that statement. You have chosen medicine as your field of study and practice. You have made it your life's work to prevent pain. I would consider that a success, and I can think of very few societies who would not. You are what most would consider a 'good man', Dr. McCoy, and you should not let your harsh, subjective view of the situation blind you to fact."

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Jimâs mind caught up to Spockâs plan almost instantly, mind running a mile a minute. He had to bite back a smirk, however, Spockâs half-lying far too amusing to ever admit.Â
The Klingonâs eyes widened, and smirked something akin to satanic, if Jim were to believe in hell. âAlas, the Vulcan has decided to cooperate. As I said, Vulcan, we are more than willing to die to get this formula.â Then, he told an underling to haul Spock off, take hm to their labs, or whatever equivalent.
âWe will leave your Captain with us. Consider it an exchange.â
That was not going to happen. "I require the captain," Spock said immediately. "He was recently treated with the leader's blood. I cannot create the formula without something to base it on. You have already secured my cooperation and there is no possible means of escape. You do not need to hold him, and I cannot create a viable serum without him."
When they arrived at the laboratory, Spock's face twitched at the nearly barbaric medical equipment. "This may hurt," he said apologetically, drawing some of Jim's blood. It had to look realistic for the guards they had left with the two of them. Spock began to create a dummy serum, cutting it with an assortment of toxins, trusting that the group of underlings keeping careful watch had no idea what he was doing.Â
Bones spluttered, âEmotionaâ Damn right Iâm experiencing Emotional Shock!â He didnât sit down, didnât even move out of Spockâs personal space. Instead, the doctor tried again to read the notes about McCoy Prime listed on the Lt. Commanderâs PADD, craning his head in lieu of wrenching the device out of the Vulcanâs hands.Â
âYâcanât just tell a guy heâs got a daughter and then expect him to dismiss it. Goddammit, man, I think I have a right to know!â Gripping the shoulder of Spockâs uniform, Bones transferred his intense gaze to the officerâs face, ââŚâysaid her name was Joanna? That he had her while he was still married to Jocelyn? We both married Jocelyn Darnell, right??â
And divorced her, it sounded like. Leonardâs lips thinned into a hard line, ââŚhe had a little girl, and he still joined Starfleet? He still left Earth? WhatâŚâ The doctor paused, inhaling sharply through his nose, ââŚDid he ever see her again? Did he see her grow up?âÂ
Intellectually, Bones knew that this man wasnât him. He knew that the daughter Spock mentioned wasnât truly his own daughter. But he couldnât help feeling like he still owed something to.. to the idea of her. He wanted to understand how this other McCoy could be offered something so perfect and still manage to screw it up⌠Â
Spock gave up, passing the PADD to the doctor. "I am unsure of the details, as they were related to me by my alternate self. However, I can postulate that the conditions of divorce were similar, and that rights were given to the mother. However, I assume from the details I was presented with that McCoy Prime made every effort to remain knowledgeable about her life. In addition, Dr. McCoy, I have not informed you that you had a daughter. I cannot stress enough the fact that the child, for all intents and purposes, never existed. Time has been rewritten."
Jim cast a sideways glance at the other, gun at his neck, and the Klingons speaking their guttural language. They sounded angry. However, he spoke, even with the gun there, mouth moving as minimally as possible.
âWith my life. Whatâs the plan?â
"I do not dare speak it aloud, for fear their minimal grasp of the language may clue them in. But we will give them what they want," Spock muttered. "Do you have a medical facility?" he asked, after he 'managed' to turn the translator back on. "I may be able to engineer a solution from what I recall of the superhumans. But you must understand - among billions of humans, only seventy-three were successfully created. Those not strong enough to withstand the formula will die," he explained, betting that the Klingons were so confident in their own strength that they would opt to take the formula and test themselves against it. If they were so convinced that he and Jim knew how to make superhumans, he would create the closest approximation he could. It likely wouldn't work, and if it didn't kill them, the poisonous substances he would lace it with would. He didn't like the idea, but it was their lives or these murder-happy idiots' lives.
two months ago this account was dead now suddenly all the replies ever
holy crap
i will get to the rest of them shortly
â..wh-âŚwhat?â Bones breathed the reply, barely more than a gasp of air. His face blanked with surprise and disbelief, staring at Spock as though the other man had spontaneously grown a second head.â..IâŚNo. I donât⌠we never got around tâhaving kids⌠what are youâŚâ
Jerking forward suddenly, Bones grabbed at the PADD in Spockâs hand, widened eyes alight with something incomprehensible as he tried to read what was written on its screen⌠â..Are you⌠Are you sayinâ that I⌠that this other Bones, he has a Daughter?! I have a Daughter?!â
Spock raised an eyebrow. "I will take that as a no. My apologies, doctor, I did not expect discrepancies such as this to surface. Perhaps you should sit back down," he said firmly. "You are experiencing emotional shock." Spock had had no idea. Dr. McCoy had never discussed his personal life with him, and Spock had not gone digging in personnel records for the information - that was the purpose of these interviews in the first place. "You do not have a daughter. You could have had a daughter. You still can have a daughter. If this experience has taught us anything, it is that time is fluid. In some alternate timelines, I expect you have a son instead. You should not let this piece of information dominate your mind."

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However, instead of letting them ago in a baffled state, the Klingons aimed their weapons at Spock, offended. âBecause, foolish Vulcan, we are willing to experiment. Our people are willing to die. And why do I feel that you are lying, Vulcan? You must know something.â
Jimâs whole body was tense from the switch of who they were aiming at. And, just to fuck with him (he was almost sure), they switched back again, however, some sort of knife underneath his neck.
âNow, Vulcan. You will speak, or your Captain will be gone from you.â And, because Klingons are not creepy at all, he sniffed him. âIt smells like your Captain is more to you as well. He reeks of your Vulcan filth. Now, supply us the information, or, better yet, supply us with your super-beings.â
"Vulcans cannot lie," Spock replied calmly. "It goes against our beliefs; furthermore, it would be illogical to do so - I cannot imagine the repercussions in store if I were to lie and you were to discover it."Â
"I cannot supply you with the super-beings," he added. "They were placed back into stasis and moved to a secure, undisclosed location." He paused. He didn't want to say they were of absolutely no use to the Klingons, even though they weren't, because that would likely result in getting them killed.Â
He glanced at Jim thoughtfully, having developed half of a plan that could theoretically work, as long as the Klingons were as stupid as they appeared to be. While none of the Klingons were looking directly at him, he switched the translator off. "Jim, how much do you trust me," he said quickly and flatly, fiddling with it as though he were trying to turn it back on.
Zero Hour, Nine AM
ââŚSo yer saying we have roughlyâŚ.â Bones glanced at the descending twin suns overhead, ââŚ.three hours to get our asses to the outpost before this place becomes a frozen deadzone, is that right?â He sighed. Peachy.Â
Picking up his pace, the doctor absorbed Uhuraâs commentary regarding the life on this planet. Familiarity with visitors was⌠good. But Bones didnât want to assume too much. Doing so had gotten him in plenty of hot water in the past, he was eager not to repeat the mistake. âWell, even if they recognize us as being Angels of Mercy, I think Iâll let you speak first, Lieutenant.â Itâs not really a joke, but the Doctor shot Nyota a grin all the same.Â
He added to Spockâs questions with his own thoughts, commenting, âThe symptoms  the distress call listed fit the profile of half a dozen strains of Mothern Bite Fever, but that virus originates in an insect species found only on Gonal IV. Iâve never heard of it branching out to other planetsâŚâ Leonard shook his head, huffing a bit as he dodged around some unstable ground. âIâll be able to determine the bacteria at work more conclusively when we get to a patient. Whatever word these people have for the illness may not match with our database.â
âOne thing is for certain, thoughâŚâ Bones paused, looking at both of his companions, ââŚ.itâs very, very contagious.â
Perhaps her optimism was best suited elsewhere, she thought to herself as she continued on the trek to the Starfleet outpost. As the commander spoke of their need for swiftness, Uhura couldnât help but feel a bit flustered, her eyes glancing to him before continuing forward. âSo this distance was as close as the Enterprise could transport us?â She asked, almost rhetorically. Now wasnât the time for an attitude.
As Spock asked her if the lifeforms on the planet were familiar with the disease, Uhura turned to her PADD, her fingertips sliding from side to side. âOur people havenât determined the origin or the name of the disease, but the native life have taken to calling it the âSun Curseâ in their native vernacular for the harsh fever symptom.â She paused a bit, glancing to McCoy as he continued about what they knew of the disease. Once he concluded, the lieutenant glanced down at her PADD before putting it away in her pack. She feared the contagious aspect of this unknown disease, but she decided to go on this mission in spite of that fact. âLets just hope we get there before we freeze to death.â She chided, glancing to both men at her side before deciding to remain silent for now.
"Metals in the earth's crust made transport difficult; however, it should not take us more than forty five minutes to arrive, even given the terrain," Spock replied, unruffled. "In fact, a 5 kilometer displacement was expected instead of the 2.7 kilometers we experienced." He checked his own pad. "Those metals are the reason a Starfleet outpost exists on this planet. They have many unique properties, not the least of which is their curious effect on transportation." While the intricacies of human social interaction occasionally escaped him, he remained an intelligent being, and he would have to be far more incompetent to miss the blank, bored set his companions' eyes took on when it started to look as though he might begin discoursing on said metals.
Spock glanced up at the suns thoughtfully. "Do the natives believe the sun has actually cursed them, or is the speech metaphorical?" he asked. "I do not look forward to attempting to explain why a large mass of plasma cannot 'curse' someone if it is the former." He pulled out his own PADD, checking the meteorological display.