well hello my tumblr friend
It always comes back to you..
When Iāve ignored all my friends, essentially pushing them away..Ā
This is the only place I can come to and just... vent freely.Ā
So due to quarantine and being stuck at home with mom, I havenāt picked up a new cartridge for my pen meaning I havenāt got a good high in days.. thatās tough for me.Ā
I havenāt had a good drink in some days..Ā
all to say that Iāve felt miserable, irritated, depressed, frustrated, self-loathing, all the negatives you can think of.Ā
I finally decided to order some wine for delivery. and itās great
but i canāt help to still feel kind of pathetic for blowing my friends off due to a depressive episode... they probably donāt care about me now or are irritated.
itās fine, i understand i canāt just make things on my own time.. although i never complain when other people change plans.Ā
but they tried to reach me all morning. and i knew they would.. but i still went MIA. that doesnāt seem so nice.
I texted one friendĀ āapologizingā but it was probably more just talking about me. and i havenāt heard back so itās likely she doesnāt care about my shit, or maybe she knows iām fine now so she doesnāt need to worry longer and doesnāt see a need to reply now.Ā
Sigh.Ā
Well, I have some wine in me and can tolerate life a little better now??Ā Ā









