Okay so I’ve been thinking long and hard about if I wanted to put this out there or not, and I’ve decided it is time. Whether it is about myself, other models, or about women in general who exist in bigger bodies - there is this callous lack of understanding of the magnitude of dismissing, infantalizing, and condemning us by referring to us as “crazy”.
I come from a family with a long line of genetic predisposition to mental illness. I started struggling with my mental health when I was in elementary school, getting progressively worse with age. I also experienced extensive childhood trauma, continuing on with a lifetime of bullshit that I have handled with grace and composure compared to the hell that I have had to face existing on this planet, none of which I wish to speak about, nor is it anyone’s business but mine.
As I have gotten older, I have watched the people in my life (myself included) battle with mental illness, addiction, SI, and actual unaliving. By choice, I was the first person to my family to seek out therapy, with no support. I was the first person to actively choose to start medication for my mental health. I was the one who has continued to grow, change, progress - despite actively being encouraged to do the opposite, and meeting nothing but hurdle after hurdle in the process of seeking better than what I came from.
I took the cards that I was dealt, and I CHOSE to rise above them. I chose to be the cycle breaker. I chose to take generational trauma, mental illness, addiction, and pain, and I turned it into a life for myself that I am proud of. After years of being torn down by life, I climbed my way out, of my own volition, because I knew I wanted better.
Part of the human condition is that we are all born with struggle. It isn’t the lack of adversity that makes you admirable, it is your ability to look it in the face, with courage, and rise above it.
To the anonymous dickheads on the internet who talk about models, or fat women in general and how they are all “crazy” - look at yourself, with your lack of empathy, EQ, understanding of biology/sociology, and lack of basic fucking humanit, and wonder if WE are really the crazy ones, or if it is people like YOU that made us this way.
