𝔰𝔢𝔦𝔰𝔪𝔦𝔠

“Mosquito are a valuable part of the food chain. People would miss them, and the mosquitoes would miss being around,” Jenna said, feeling a bit bad for the little bloodsuckers.  “I’m earth, as well. Although sometimes I forget that the bleached white stuff used to be trees. Define offensive and horrible, though?”

“But they wouldn’t sell a lot of papers, which is why I have to read about the entire damn world being blown up instead.”

“That was a rhetorical question, I know how they go about selling papers. Please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, tell me you’re not a psionics major. I can’t take that information this early in the morning.”

“Oh, well, that’s actually a good question that I don’t know the answer to,” Jenna said, trying not to think too hard about the Bible. “Sometimes it’s paper napkins. I’ve been reading about millennials causing the world to end, as I am apparently one of these horrible offenders.”

“Of course not. Guantanamo Bay, Alcatraz, The M&M store in times square--you think anyone would miss any of those places?”

Bonus:

“Can you really call me old, tired and slow while handing me a newspaper?” he drawled, taking it from her none the less, “we do live in the age of cell phones and internet, isn’t all of this old by the time some kid on a bicycle chucks it on my doorstep?” 

“Well of course not,” he said with a grin, “even the tabloids know there has to be a bit of truth in their stories for the papers to sell,” he leaned back, “everyone knows that if anyone’s going to blow up my houses it’ll be me. North Korea definitely isn’t invited to that party.”