Mystic Sea Bitch

My head has been in pieces lately. I am trying my best to sort through all of the conflicting emotions and thoughts that have been eating at me. I feel like I am being swallowed whole. Drowning in all the stress and troubles in life.

I’m in the last year of my hairdressing studies at the moment and I’m not as far along with my studies as I should be. I haven’t even finished one cluster of units. I’ve just been given the forms to file for a 6 month extension of my training contract and will have to give it to my boss when she returns from new york fashion week. It’s impossibly stressful having any serious conversations with her as she is short tempered and impatient. She is angry whenever she is not in control of the conversation. 

There is also a new apprentice at work and while she is a lovely person she is at the same point in her studies as I am and I feel as though she is speeding ahead of me in terms of finishing her qualification. Which is really starting to make me worry about my job and possibly loosing my position and apprenticeship. After she was inducted into the team I have been able to attend college weekly which is a positive but my work hours have dramatically been shortened and my weekly pay is now suffering because of it.

I am 2 weeks behind in rent, barely managing to chip away at the debt and still maintain paying the current rent every week. Grocery shopping has taken a hit as well, we have gone back to eating unhealthily because I can’t afford fresh produce and I have fallen back into stress eating patterns. I had recently lost 2 dress sizes but can feel myself creeping back up to that unfriendly size 18.

I also have in the back of my mind that the next wave of quarterly bills are on the way. I’m terrified of the day they come and am pushing myself to catch up in the mean time. Personal debts are also at an all time high. What a time to be alive.

I will push myself this month to MAKE SURE that I renew my learners licence and sign through the forms for an exemption so at least I can be proud of myself on 1 aspect and get my drivers licence finally.