Lissa

We’ve all been through stuff in our lives. Some worse than others. We all want to forget the things that happened that makes us mad or depressed or not feeling good. I drink and do drugs to forget the dozens of scars I still have and the memory I have behind them. I’m addicted to feeling like I never hurt myself. But it all reality I hurt myself for 8 years. I have hundreds or more scars that faded away overtime, the worst ones are still present. I never talk about it because I feel as though since I don’t do it anymore, no one cares. But it still affects me. Not everyday, but more than I care to experience. When I’m high, my scars disappear. All the memories of the blood and bandaids and the 2 psych wards go away. I was addicted to the blade for 8 years. I was never around drugs or alcohol during that time. But once I quit hurting myself, I turned straight to drugs. Mostly weed, but there’s some other stuff that I have thrown into the mix over the years. I hate the fact that I feel like I always need to be high to pretend that the shit never happened. But I hate being sober enough to want to do it again. It’s been 6 1/2 years and I would like to keep it that way. #inmyfeelings #comingdown #ineedmoredrugs #fuck #wanttobesober (at Brooklyn, Maryland)