The Legend Of Laura

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

For those who thought that this was Nintendo baiting people into posting videos for them to take down, (as I initially did, admittedly), it’s actually people posting pictures of YouTube takedown notices. Nintendo didn’t bait anyone...They walked into a metaphorical garden rake.

Once Oscar Wilde, coming down to lunch, was asked how he had spent his morning. "I was hard at work," he said. "Oh?" he was asked. "Did you accomplish much?" "Yes indeed," said Wilde. "I inserted a comma." At dinner, he was asked how he had spent his afternoon. "More work," he said. "Inserted another comma?" was the rather sardonic question. "No, said Wilde, unperturbed. "I removed the one I had inserted in the morning."

it’s infuriating when the customer is wrong yes we all know this. however it’s probably 10000x worse when the customer is right, because what do you MEAN my coworker deleted 7 of your fucking accounts off of your profile when you just wanted to edit them and now I have to deal with it??? i can’t even be pissed that you’re being a bitch about it because i would be too!!! fuck!!!!

Your mamas so squeak shes either a leather shoe or the bad door or a mouse

*aims my rifle in the direction its pointing and fires into the tall grass*

bring out the rotating tiger

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

oh

i love to see jersey cows