certified weird things sayer

↗️ the new emoji code for when you want to express that time is linear and only flows in 1 direction. the tilted upward arrow was chosen instead of the flat sideways arrow because when you zoom out far enough every day is on the up & up

parasocialism is bad Unless its with me. i love you. yes You. Specifically

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

theyre saying you have to go to work again tomorrow even though you just went today

doctor sleepy just prescribed me with 5 more minutes

The opposite of “the elephant in the room” is “the centipede in the room”: something that’s not actually an issue but everyone is freaking out about

mike’s hard bubble tea

It’s just marbles

You might think it stands for "Alternate Universe", but it's actually called an "AU" because that's the anguished noise you make when you realize you have to make the content yourself if you want to see them. Au auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 😭😭😭🐺🐺🐺