courage, dear heart

If you are feeling good about yourself or situation and then your mood suddenly shifts leaving you feeling insecure, unsure, etc. try to remind yourself that nothing has truly changed but your perception. Your cute outfit did not suddenly become horrid. Your delicious meal did not tranform into a terrible one. Your peers perception of you has not radically transformed over a social misstep. Everything we experience is put through it through our mental filter, and that can convince us that everyone else sees us with the judgement we have for ourselves. Be kind to yourself.

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

There is a great deal of truth there. Sometimes special moments happen purely by accident. But most of them happen because you make a plan and create the conditions to let them happen.

There will be a lot of posts soon from people sharing how much they achieved in 2024. But in case someone needs to hear this, it's okay if the only thing you did this year was just get through it.... It's ok.

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.

Hey, if you’re not as mentally quick as you used to be because of your illness- that’s okay. If you’re can’t think as fast or handle as many tasks that’s okay. You aren’t stupid, you aren’t unintelligent, and you aren’t less worthy of love or respect. It’s okay that your brain won’t or can’t go back to how it used to be. It’s different now, but it’s okay.

one day I woke up and realised all the waiting and yearning was actually me living my life and it’s happening right now and it’s still good even if it’s not perfect and there is no moment when all your dreams get fulfilled and everything makes sense. like… this is it. this is life. you’ll waste away your youth waiting for some imagined future if you don’t love life for what it is now and make the most of it