Limerick Machine

Every note of it wrong

He sang it quite flat

Nobody liked that

With enough room for a rider

Not in a saddle

Too wide to straddle

to try to end my depression

i don't know myself

I'm stuck on a shelf

the page was stolen by a crook

I found it online

evidence of the crime

who loved to paint men who were nude

he always got wrong

the length of the schlong

who wished when inside of the dome

the wish was ill thought

to do what it ought

like we are birds of a feather

we all are so kind

within the hivemind

was sat in an orbital base

to monitor us

(they thought we were sus)

Like Jacob had with Bella Swan

Reciprocation

Of infatuation

Whose sudden apearance would daunt

He felt big and strong

But he was quite wrong

Who had a big hole in his bucket

He asked, "Liza, dear

How did this appear?"

She shrugged and then told him to chuck it.

Our hero would not be defeated

A bucket out of he'd been cheated

With a bit of skill

This hole he would fill

Liza just thought him conceited

He toiled all day and all night

Determined that he would be right

Liza not amused

The man was confused

"I can't fix the hole nice and tight"

So Liza chucked out the old bucket

Surprsing the man from Nantucket

He cried and he wailed

She said, "you have failed,

He did not determine the cost

Of going when forced

His route did exhaust

So that I do not end up dead

I'm staying at home

But I'm not alone