Wong: how much longer are we going to let them do that? Stephen: *rubbing the bridge of his nose* just... just give him a minute Y/N: *still pushing the doors of sanctum that are clearly labeled pull*
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@lilstephenlover
Wong: how much longer are we going to let them do that? Stephen: *rubbing the bridge of his nose* just... just give him a minute Y/N: *still pushing the doors of sanctum that are clearly labeled pull*

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scott lang is sitting in san francisco ranting and screaming about how john walker isn't his captain america. don't argue with me about this, i know this
stephen: *just existing* y/n: stephen: y/n: who needs drugs when i can look at your eyes
Thor: I'm the most powerful MCU character!
Captain Marvel: no, i am
???: amateurs
Thor: what did you say, punk?
Doctor Strange: AMATEURS
y/n: wanna fu*k?
stephen: why do you have to say it like that? it's supposed to be a magical moment.
y/n: hocus pocus lemme strokus

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Stephen: *Kisses Y/N*
Y/N: *Blushing* I, uh…
Stephen: *Smiling* Well, I “uh” you too.
Stephen: Have I ever told you that you're bossy?
Y/N: Yes. But then I told you not to tell me that anymore.
Stephen: Smart is atractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Y/N, *deadpan*: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus!
Stephen: Stop.
Loki, snuggling under a blanket: a nap a day takes the pain away!
Stephen: what pain?
Loki: the pain of knowing the bane of existence is existing, the heavy weight of living from day to day in the precipice of an existential crisis, and the possibility that we're living through the end of the world as we know it
Stephen:
Stephen: please just lie and say you're sick next time
Computer: choose your password
Stephen: Tony
Computer: password is too short
Stephen: I know

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Stephen, looking in the mirror before leaving the house: not everyone is going to think I’m pretty, and that’s ok
Stephen: they’ll be wrong, though
Stephen: that’s too much coffee
Tony: coffee cures depression
Stephen: no, it doesn’t
Tony: more espresso less depresso
Wong: Y/N, we're hungry!
Mordo: Y/N! What's for dinner?
Stephen: We're hungry, Y/N!
Y/N, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*
Y/N: *running towards Stephen with open arms*
Stephen: *moves out of the way*
Y/N: Hey, why'd you move?!
Stephen: I thought you were going to attack me!
Y/N: I was going to hug you!
Stephen: Why would you hug me?
Y/N: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
Tony: eat anything you want
Tony: and if people make fun of your weight, eat them too
Stephen: tony no-

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“If you’re late, puppies die.”
- Stephen, telling Peter & Harley & Tony to be on time
Stephen: Well, I was planning on having a productive day today.
Stephen: But then Tony woke me up at 2 AM because he thought the house was burning down.
Stephen: Half awake, I safely evacuated everyone.
Stephen: Turns out Tony had actually been working on a ‘Fake Fire’ device the day before and forgot about it, then accidentally turned it on while working.
Stephen: So I got a total of 2 and a half hours of sleep, and will be napping the rest of the day.
Stephen: ‘Strange’ is one letter away from ‘strangle’, Tony.