Having a Little who was Emotionally Abused Means...
Frequently reassuring them that you love them very much and will not hurt them
Reminding them that they are good enough and that they are amazing just the way they are
Praising them when they are assertive and/or stand up for themselves
Understanding that their abuse may have caused underlying disorders (Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, etc.)
Learning what their triggers are and avoiding them as much as possible
Never yelling or raising your voice at them (You should never do this to your partner, regardless of regression or history of abuse)
Understanding that they may have self-depreciating mannerisms as a result of their abuse, and helping them to change those habits (ex. they may say things like “This thing is upsetting me but I know it’s stupid and I’m stupid for being upset. I’m sorry for being upset over it”. Try and help them learn that it’s okay to have thoughts and feelings different from yours and that it’s okay to express those thoughts and feelings)
Really, really, thinking before you speak (ex. Could this come across as mean or angry or passive-agressive, even if I don’t intend for it to be?)
Reminding them that they are valid (Many people who were subject to emotional abuse feel as though what happened to them was “no big deal” because it was not physical. Their pain and experiences is just as valid as anyone elses. Just becuase they don’t have physical scars doesn’t mean what happened to them was unimportant)
Understanding that sometimes they will need time alone, and knowing that when they need time alone it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, they just need some time to themselves
Never pressuring them to talk to you about their abuse. First of all this is just rude, because it is nobodies bussiness but theirs, and second of all this could trigger them into a panic attack, depressive state, flashback, or other traumatic responses. If they want to tell you then they will, if not then remember to respect their boundaries
Understanding that they may be ultra-sensitive or easily hurt, and if so, treat them carefully and respectfully (It’s a result of abuse, not a quirk, they can’t just change it and not be sensitive)
Providing them lots and lots of love and support! Even though emotional abuse doesn’t leave any physical scars, it is still abuse. It’s very very harmful and manipulative. It can take a very long time to recover from emotional abuse, so remember to be patient as they are working towards recovery. Always always always encourage them to see a professional who can help them on their road to recovery, and teach them safe and healthy coping mechanisms!
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