confused.com

It Is Wintertime

my husband of twenty years: i love you me: he’s just saying that to be nice

if we being honest, rihanna doesn’t seem like the best person to text in a crisis

I feel like she’s the type to text back 5 hours later like “you good? 👀”

me: *goes to nasa* hello i would like to volunteer to be thrown into the sun nasa: u would die me: i beg u

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

im rly just.. rly tired u know. just so tired

why do bad things (unfolded laundry) happen to good people (me)

If ur stressin over some boy just know he’s not worth it. ur too good for him