The Revelations of Lilith

Studying the mythology surrounding a spiritual being is certainly important to get an inkling of their personality, wants, proper offerings, and so on. However, it’s very important to remember one thing: 

Human mythology is an attempt to describe supernatural beings and events and codify what seems to work as far as offerings and the like. It does not define them. These beings exist independent of human belief in them, and though many appreciate a traditional approach, others, like Lilith, are defamed or very inconsistently defined, or just more of a free spirit.  

Me: minding my own business answering asks

Random Dude Out of Nowhere: “You need to include cites from historical authors to prove your claims of Lilith’s will or they’re not valid”

Me: looks at the body of work in question, which is entirely by misogynist male writers determined to demonize Lilith in every way, shape and form “You mean these historical authors? The ones I quote to show how Lilith was systematically defamed?”

It’s said that when I called out the Ineffable’s Name I grew wings I stole a bit of my Source’s power and flew away to the wilds

But the sayers didn’t know  How far Adam went to keep me under him

Those wings were mine, a holy gift at birth My freedom, my choice to stay or go Taken Stolen

“You will stay on the ground.” “Your choice does not matter.”  “You will stay with me.”

I did not grow wings  When I called the Name for help I grew them 

Depending on which legend you read, Lilith is alternatively the mother of all supernatural beings, the mother of several legions of demons, the mother of specific races collectively called the Lilim...or she’s a barren spirit whose only children are murdered as quickly as they are born. The attempts to define her by her fertility--or lack thereof--goes as far as blaming her for the nocturnal emissions of men, claiming she rapes them in their sleep.

For Levantine men, who were invariably the authors of these legends, there was no other way to define a woman except by her utility as a provider of sex, servitude and babies. Since LIlith had refused servitude, she was viewed by them as an unnatural rebel. Obviously, the only way these primitive, sexist men could find to describe her after this was as a woman warped from her natural use: barren or giving birth to monsters, and raping men in their sleep instead of lying back obediently to be fucked by them. 

In reality, Lilith represents women in their natural state, choosing their own mates, choosing to have or not have offspring, without the chains of patriarchy. This is why the male-created legends about her never match up, are always demonizing, and are always overflowing with the patriarchal male fear of the unfettered woman. She has no defined place in patriarchy, and likes it that way.

The problem is, she sees echoes of this same tendency to define women by their age and level of fertility in modern-day Paganism--and not only that, but to try to shoehorn all Goddesses into somewhere within that trifecta.

One of Lilith’s major issues with modern witchcraft is the tendency to define women’s magical, personal and creative lives by their fertility cycles. This is because defining women that way is a fundamentally male mode of thought: a woman becomes a full adult when she becomes impregnable, not through any agency of her own. A woman moves from adult to elderly when she is no longer impregnable, again through no agency of her own. Whether a maiden (not yet impregnable), a mother (”usable” uterus) or a crone (postmenopausal/”useless” uterus), women who define themselves this way with no self-examination, or arbitrarily define other women or even goddesses this way, are still falling into a trap of the patriarchy.

You can go off about “the power of creation” all you want, and you have a point. You can talk about important milestones in women’s lives all you want--and you have no point, since once again, the most important milestones in a specific woman’s life may not revolve around her fertility, and it is misogynist foolishness to assume so. Especially without so much as asking.

And if it’s bad to do that to a fellow woman, how much worse is it to give a divine being the same treatment?

The patriarchal nature of the maiden/mother/crone idea is reflected in the fact that men are not similarly defined.  Granted, some Pagan groups have manufactured triple god-forms based around age/age-related occupation, such as Young Lord, Warrior, and King/Sage. Some even try using “Father” as the middle part, though technically a twelve year old and a sixty year old can both potentially father children too. Nowhere is the status of men’s genital fertility involved in defining them except nominally; they are defined by age, occupation and increasing status, not whether their genitals work properly. This is a clear double standard.

Would men be comfortable if they had to ritually define themselves by their fertility? Would they enjoy being asked if they’re a Father, a Son or a Holy Viagra Patient? Wouldn’t they find ball-based categories for men demeaning and restricting? So why do so many Pagan women define themselves and others by fertility status, without reflection or complaint?

Also if you don’t think many of the founders of modern Paganism were patriarchal as all Hell, I’d like to introduce you to a line from Gerald Gardner’s Ardanes: “For the Gods love the Wica, as a man loveth a woman by mastering her.”

Here’s another one: “And the greatest virtue of a High Priestess is that she recognises that youth is necessary to the representative of the Goddess, so that she will retire gracefully in favour of a younger woman, Should the Coven so decide in Council. For the true High Priestess realsies that gracefully surrendering pride of place is one of the greatest of virtues, and that thereby she will return to that pride of place in another life, with greater power beauty.”

Read the whole thing sometime. It is full of passages like that. Gardner was not having all these women dance naked in front of him because it “ran energy better”. Otherwise, why would he demand that High Priestesses be replaced as soon as they were no longer young and pretty?

Though reclaiming women’s fertility from men’s grubby little patriarchal hands is important, continuing to define all women by it in such a fundamental way offends Lilith and many Lilin women.

Not every woman defines herself by her fertility status or the social role layered on top of that. Nor should our spiritual value be equated with the one thing that patriarchal men value us for, aside from sex or servitude.

Finally, it is a mistake to try to define Lilith herself by these roles. She is not a Maiden, a Mother or a Crone. The phases of her existence do not correspond with her fertility or lack thereof, and she doesn’t like being defined that way. Nor do a lot of other Goddesses and Pagan women. 

This collection of information is fairly complete, though of course it sticks very close to conventional (patriarchal) readings of the Lilith mythos. Some interesting details:

There’s almost no real association between Lilith the sexual temptress and rebel woman, and Lilith the murderer of children, in the stories about her. She’s either one or the other, never both, and the stories where she is a child murderer seem to come from a different, newer set of myths.

The association between the Babylonian Lilith and the Hebrew Lilith is more tenuous than originally thought. This may be an adoption and warping of an older mythology, similar to the way that figures such as Baal ended up demonized.

The fact that one of the wards against Lilith grants her a divorce from Adam.

“Even God cannot subjugate Lilith”. This presumes that Lilith, instead of being aided by God, stole enough of his power that he can’t dominate her.

For those who don’t know, Lily, the medium and main author of this blog, is severely disabled and can only make a small amount of money working as a virtual assistant. The only way she can afford to post on a regular basis or publish something comprehensive is through other people’s support. I’m thinking of setting up a ko-fi in support of the blog. None of us have much cash, but every bit helps.

It’s frustrating to Lilith just how many women will use up all their time and energy on other people, regardless of whether they get any kind of reciprocity. Many of us are the last in line for our own nurturing and care. But doing that to the point where it’s making you overextend and neglect yourself is a damaging aspect of female socialization. It’s a chain around you that you need to break.

The thing is, even if it brings you joy to care for others, you have to look after you first, or you won’t have the strength and reserves to help others. Also, you’re worth it just as much as they are.

The Sons of Adamah are men who share a certain mentality--not an ethnicity, not a culture, not a spiritual tradition. This is rather a catchall term for men who have absorbed, accepted, internalized, benefited from, and now perpetuate and defend patriarchy. Like the male priesthood responsible for Lilith’s demonization in both Sumerian and Abrahamic traditions, these men are threatened by the very idea of independent, equal women, and will do whatever they can to maintain their dominance.

These men are misogynist. They range from your typical porn addict fuckboy, to your “traditionalist” conservative, to sexual predators, to abusive fathers, brothers and spouses, to sons who hate their mothers, to clergymen and lawmakers who perpetuate patriarchy within their spheres of influence.

They are not every man. But they are every man who is blind to the suffering of women around him, or who takes pleasure in it, or who profits from it. And that’s a lot of men. Too many.

The forty year old man who pays a sixteen year old “sugar baby” for sex and throws tantrums in his own defense is a son of Adamah. The Republican senator, the creep pouring drugs into your drink at a party, the “virtuous” religious boy who beats his girlfriend, the "meninist” who makes rape jokes in class, the teacher who won’t call on girls...you know them, if you think about it. These are the Sons of Adamah. These are the enemy.

The problem is, many women have come to believe that the Sons of Adamah make up the whole of men. This is what they want you to think, and you’re more than an extremist if you fall for it. You are a fool, for you have accepted such men’s view of the world: they are what it is normal and right for men to be. 

You reinforce the patriarchal edifice from the other side of the wall by dismissing men entirely instead of demanding better from them. Though you should not have to live with men and should avoid living for them, womankind in general must still deal with mankind, and doing so through endless war is exactly what Adamite men want. 

Adamite men want war between men and women, and they want to win. Moreover, they believe that it is their right to win, and that they inevitably will win, because they are willing to be more evil than we, and are damn proud of that fact. Let these men drag you down to their level, where the wickedest one wins, and they will beat you through experience.

So how do we beat them?

Numbers. Withdrawal of service and resources. Cooperation with each other, regardless of background and minor political difference, to uplift each other and reduce our general dependence on men. And most of all, most importantly of all, is to stop having relationships with men like this.

BOYCOTT HIS BUSINESS. Don’t work for or with him or do anything to give him or help him make money if it is at all possible.

BOYCOTT BEING AROUND HIM. If he’s not an unavoidably close relative or someone you have to deal with because of your job or the like, cut him off.

BOYCOTT HIS PENIS. If he’s trying to get in your panties, make sure it never works. If he’s trying to get into your friend’s or relative’s panties, intervene with her and make sure she’s aware of his attitudes and behavior.

BOYCOTT GIVING HIM FREE SERVICES. If they’re trying to get emotional or physical labor out of you, refuse as much as possible.

BOYCOTT HIS EGO. If a man hates women, then make certain (or as much as possible) that he doesn’t have access to any form of support or acknowledgment from you. 

Many of my most recent asks and DMs have revolved around how Lilith relates to men and women, either trans or cis. I have mentioned before my experience of her preferences. This was condemned as “unfair” by some, as apparently I am supposed to be able to sway the opinions of an ancient supernatural force to modern concepts of sex and gender.

Lilith’s relationship with humanity was first defined when excruciatingly sexist men started telling stories of her as an originally equal being to man who suffered forced subordination, attempted rape, curses, exile and the mass murder of her children. This, as well as her subsequent demonization down through history, told her what male humans think of her. That was her first contact--a whole ton of slander told about her by men to serve patriarchal ends, first in Babylon and then among the Israelites. Her whole existence was turned into a cautionary tale for and about insubordinate women.

Because of this, she is skeptical of men, and she has the most sympathy for and connection with women who actually are oppressed on the basis of their biological sex. Trans women are not last in line in her eyes, but they’re not first in line either. Apparently not being first in line for everything makes a lot of trans women incredibly angry. But calling Lilith transphobic is about as dumb as calling Danto racist or Diana sexist. Not all spirits have a special connection with every population of people. That’s just how it is.

When a trans woman comes sailing in and says “I’m a woman on the inside, I qualify, I should get everything other women get”, she is in a lot of cases absolutely correct. Human rights, basic respect, medical care, the right to live in peace--her personhood is not predicated on the bits she was born with. But she is not “automatically entitled” to Lilith’s favor, because only Lilith decides who she gives favor to. And Lilith naturally tends to favor those whose life experiences parallel the specific hell that male human stories about her describe her being put through.

Lilith favors those who have suffered under sexism their whole lives. Trans women have not; they spent a significant chunk of that time being treated like a male by those around them. Probably a male abused for being “too feminine”, but a male nonetheless. That doesn’t invalidate who they are or what they have gone through, it just points it out as a different experience from that of people who grew up in sexism’s cage. It’s that simple, and it’s Lilith’s choice--not mine. (So you can stop with the death threats. They’re pointless).

It all boils down to this. Either you accept spirits as intelligent entities with power, agency, preferences, prejudices, cultural associations and a living history of interacting with humans, or you’re not going to be able to work with them with any real effectiveness. 

If you think that the Powers should answer to your expectations of what they should be instead of being what they are, you will fail in your relationships with them.

As an example, I as a white woman cannot approach a spirit from African diasporic tradition and expect the same automatic acceptance as one of their people. I will always have to work to prove myself harder to any spirit from another culture, I cannot automatically expect acceptance from them. Since my culture colonized theirs, I can fully expect, and have no right to complain, if those spirits are wary of me until my little white butt proves myself to their satisfaction--and they decide when that is, not I.

There is no appropriate, respectful way to gain a spirit’s favor unless you do things on their terms. I could stamp my foot and whine “But WHY doesn’t Ezili Danto accept me as Her child automatically? I know even her own people have to put in serious work to develop a relationship with her, but I’m special!” but it won’t get me anywhere. It may even piss her off. That’s...really bad.

If you approach a being like Lilith with some airy expectation of perfect benevolence and an embrace of twenty-first century egalitarianism of all souls, you’re making two mistakes. You are expecting automatic no-effort acceptance from a being who needs to be won over, and you’re expecting her to conform her attitudes and practices to what you think they should be. Which is ridiculous.

My apologies to followers and those with asks. I have been on bedrest after an extended hospital stay related to my chronic health issues. I am catching up now and will be posting more soon.

Lilith is not a nice spirit. 

She can be a kind spirit, but she does not behave.

The single stupidest thing that you can do is to come to Lilith with anything less than respect. 

She’s not interested in demands, accusations or presumptions. She’s not interested in cajoling or the assumption that she is all white-light fluff and will accept and nurture everyone with the purest intentions. She does not wish to be used interchangeably with other spirit beings. 

The formal demands of the magus, with binding circles and evocations of the legions of Hell (and threats of God’s wrath if she doesn’t comply) are also inappropriate.

And that’s if they come from women.

If disrespect, demands or attempts at manipulation come from a male, whether born, identified or both, she is very likely to become offended.

Yeah, I can hear the yelling from here. Calm down and think. 

Here you have a being whose primary defining characteristic is her refusal to submit to any male ever. And your entitled, mortal butt is going to try and give her marching orders?

I hope you have good health insurance.

As I said before, I’m not attempting to step on anyone else’s practice. But what has been communicated to me, what my experience is and what the material on her reflects is that Lilith responds to  respectful, humble, thoughtful communication of any form, especially if it comes from women. It must however have these three qualities.

By respectful, I mean here both considerate of feelings and considerate of station. You’re addressing a very powerful spirit who has her preferences as well as things that anger her. Be mindful of this.

By humble, I mean that an honest, down to earth approach without bragging or demands is best.

By thoughtful, I mean that she should be approached clearly and without frivolity. Don’t ask her to intervene in your latest internet argument; don’t ask her to make your favorite movie star fall in love with you; don’t bug her for aid and wisdom on every single tiny thing. She does get bored, and dislikes it when people are not clear on their needs and intent.

How can you reach out to her? It depends on your practice. You can sing, dance, write poetry, do automatic writing, burn a prayer sheet, burn incense, chant, pray, whatever works for you. The constant is not the method, but the tone. 

Would you go nourish yourselves? 

This is ridiculous. You’re still in mortal bodies, and body affects mind and mood. I’ve lost count of how many women neglect themselves in this or that way. Have a break, some food, something to drink, a nap!

Stop being so used to enduring suffering that you do it when it isn’t necessary! You don’t have to! It’s okay!

Lilith isn’t all that interested in what you identify as, especially if you have not experienced what happens when sexists perceive someone as biologically female and treat her accordingly. If you make the effort, she will take you as her own as will her followers--but it’s not automatic.

Lilith favors biological women who live as women and have experienced sexism as a result. Gender identity is a separate issue. Gender is a social construct; sexism cannot be identified into or out of without extensive surgery and effort. Even then, it often snaps right back into place when, for example, a man finds out the guy next to him was not born with a penis.

The alliance of Lilim women is meant to overcome discrimination against women due to their biological sex. Thus it is primarily for people in that situation. There is room for others, but their membership is not automatic, and they are not the focus. She is not interested in what you think you deserve.

In response to a lot of predictable screaming from trans women: you can’t always identify into everything. You are not entitled. If you earn Lilith’s favor and are voted in, you belong. Otherwise, no, you really don’t.

To be blunt: if you were born with a penis, you have automatically been treated better than those who were not by our society. It doesn’t matter what gender you choose to perform, your recognized biological sex is the basis of sexism or sex privilege. It is about how others treat you, not how you think of yourself. If you think that people’s perception of your biological sex does not affect how they treat you, you are exhibiting male privilege (and male obliviousness to women’s suffering) right now.

The reason that terfs bring up the trans woman in Gamestop as a negative example of trans women illustrates this disconnect. It is an example of someone identifying as a woman and demanding to be treated as such while exhibiting male socialization, privilege and out of control behavior. This individual used the intimidation power of an enormous, muscular male body and male aggression unironically while at the same time asserting womanhood. This individual terrified employees, damaged property, and even threatened a mom and scared her kid while claiming victimhood in that situation.

Lilith absolutely despises this kind of bullying male-pattern behavior. She hates the hypocrisy of males who continue to use their social and biological advantages to get their way while claiming to be feminist, woke, or women. You might be able to scare a group of mortal Lilim women into taking you in because you won’t leave them alone. You will never be able to scare, bully or manipulate Lilith into accepting you, and you won’t like what happens to you if you claim her instead of her claiming you. 

If your response to this is to throw a tantrum because you don’t believe sexism happens, and that identification in your head is somehow equal to women and trans men’s life experiences under sexism, guess what? You’re displaying both your male privilege and entitlement, and your blindness to it. You’re also displaying why you have no place in the network.

I watch how women divide themselves

Their unity is so conditional They have no loyalty They turn their rage on each other in the night Squabbling endlessly, knives out for each other Instead of in each other's defense While those men who hate them all look on through spyholes and laugh

Look on it now and know 

This is why we have lost As much as anything Adamah's sons do: You tear at each other in your stubbornness and pride

You do our enemy's work for them

The hands of women turn against the flesh of women The words of women turn against the hearts of women The rage of women becomes a fire that burns our villages from within Long before it scorches a single wicked man's hair

And always you make excuses for yourselves

When we talk about the “life” of a spirit, or the “history” of a spirit, we have to divide it into two categories. The empirical history of that spirit’s relationships with various human cultures is first. The second is the mythology itself, which varies enormously from culture to culture and should in no way be taken literally.

Right now, we’ll have a look at how Lilith figures (or rather was forced) into Abrahamic mythology. This experience led to her becoming a patron not only of independent women, but of women abused for their womanhood. It also made her a bitter enemy, not of the Abrahamic God, but rather of patriarchy.

Lilith As Abrahamic Demon

Was Lilith literally abused by the domineering Adamah and driven to leave him, defying God’s plan and accepting a curse in the process? No. But she was defamed, demonized and cast in the role of victim, outcast, demon-lover and child-murderer by Abrahamic male religious authorities for centuries. Her spiritual children were slaughtered or enslaved, and the concept of woman as man’s equal partner was eradicated from that part of the world.

Those are enormous crimes. But they are crimes committed by patriarchal men, not the Most High. Lilith despises and defies patriarchal men, not the Most High. The problem is that patriarchal men can’t really see the difference. The argument is made that by refusing to return to Adamah, Lilith defied God, and thus became a demon.

However, this whole idea hinges on the supposition that the Most High is a complete dick who would send Lilith back to such a miserable situation. Does this sound like something a perfect, loving deity would do to their child, especially if they just had to rescue that child from the same situation?

The idea that she is a demon in defiance of God who is responsible for many plagues against women and children is an attempt to shoehorn the archetypal free woman into a narrative that defies its own internal consistency to make her into a villainess.

If we read into the account in The Alphabet of Ben Sira, we notice that Lilith’s last act before suddenly growing wings and being whisked off into the wilderness is to call out the Ineffable Name. According to the account, she used the Name without permission to steal some of God’s power so she could escape.

...despite the fact that nobody, not even Lucifer, had ever been able to pull that trick even with a lot more power and motivation.

The idea of her misusing God’s power is the root of a whole lot of Lilith’s demonization, but it’s also one enormous reach after another, with little to no connection to older stories. 

Let’s go back to basics. What is the number one reason that you would call out the name of an omniscient deity?

To get the Most High’s attention, of course.

The Name is forbidden to mortals save for when the High Priest speaks it once a year within the Temple. But neither Lilith nor Adamah were mortal then. Her ability to escape, and to remain separated despite the original plan of the Most High, had a much simpler explanation than a theft of power.

She was calling for help.

The idea that she could steal and use the cosmic power for herself without the Most High’s knowledge or permission is ridiculous. The idea that she would call upon the one power who would let her leave if there was desperate need fits the situation much more. The idea that she would cry out to God for help and receive it is much more in line with the concept of the Most High being both a powerful and watchful Deity, and a just one.

Once Lilith was separated from Adamah, she could no longer be part of the plan for Adamah and had to remain remote from him and his wife and descendants. This was not a problem for her, nor a source of shame; what is considered an exile was an escape. The Abrahamic religious and occult scholars, all men of course, gave it all their own spin, since after all framing Adamah as the hero of the story instead of the one who first transgressed (and would go on to transgress further) was extremely important.

But what is convenient for those in power is usually not fully true, whether to the narrative itself or to the beings depicted. What was convenient in Lilith’s case was to turn her into a monster, a particular enemy of women and children, and a being who existed in defiance of God’s law. This became a part of the propaganda that kept “good” women in their place.

She is none of those things. She is not a pure and peaceful spirit, but unlike Adam and his new wife Eve, she didn’t screw up and get herself exiled, either. She remained immortal, free of Original Sin, and though unmated, she was also free. That bit about her constantly mating with demons and giving birth to thousands of dead babies a day...okay. How does the average guy depict his ex after she’s left?

Yeah. Let’s all take a moment to notice how post-Garden Lilith is depicted as the slutty abortion queen who is somehow both giving birth to a billion demon babydaddies’ bastards and is completely infertile and hates men and hates women and wants to strangle little babies in their cribs. Or why she still comes back to Adamah in his sleep to screw him because she can’t get enough of this dick and everybody knows it, dammit.

Hilariously, the description on Lilith’s activities after dumping Adamah sound like an amalgamation of every single insult tossed at every single woman who has ever realized her true worth and left a subpar boyfriend in the dust. The Alphabet’s authors and the rest of those boys had some serious ex issues to go along with their terror of independent women.

To the sons of Abrahamic traditions, Adamah’s desire to be the boss when the Most High had created him and Lilith as equal halves of a greater spiritual whole was not hubris or a defiance of God. It would not be viewed as any crime by men with a vested interest in furthering the idea of a male-favoring God in support of patriarchy. But we can see the glaring issues in their narrative very easily in modern day.

So consider instead a new approach to the narrative: that Lilith left the garden not because of exile, but because like an abused woman’s home, the haven for humanity had been made dangerous to her. This was thanks to Adamah’s refusal to acknowledge the equality that the Most High had gifted her from the beginning. Because of this, she was allowed to leave, and live away from the world that Adamah and his sons were making.

The various holes in the stories told in the Alphabet and similar texts as well as Abrahamic folklore provide a very weak argument for Lilith being a demonic force that attacks women. In fact, it’s pretty clear that even by the rules of those trying to demonize her, Lilith is not a demonic enemy of the Most High, and is certainly not responsible for what is now recognized as crib death and deaths from early child abuse.

So what is Lilith in the Feminist reading of the Abrahamic myths?

Lilith is the wild woman. She is the woman who will only love a man as an equal, and will walk away if he tries to dominate her. She is the abused woman breaking free. She is the battered woman fighting back. She does not despise all men, nor love all women, but she will always favor women.

She is not the enemy of Eve. As the serpent in the garden, she returns to a dangerous place in order to bring the bitter gift of knowledge to her sister. She does this out of sympathy for Eve, who loves a man but suffers time and again because of his bullshit. In doing so, in making Eve self-aware, she is not betraying or corrupting her, but instead allowing her to make free and conscious choices instead of blindly remaining an appendage of her husband.

Interestingly, Eve is not immediately banished for eating the fruit, for Adamah had neglected to warn her against it, and so had God. She had to know that something was forbidden to act against God. But when she offers to share the knowledge with him, Adamah takes it while knowing fully that it’s not allowed. Only then are both banished and made mortal. 

If Eve had not shared, or if Adamah had refused, would they have been banished? If Lilith had instructed Eve and empowered her with knowledge, but she had not then passed on the gift to her beloved but egotistical mate, what would have happened? Would Eve have lived on an immortal life in the garden, forever more enlightened and powerful than her dull-witted mate and their offspring? Was that what Lilith was shooting for--Eve’s empowerment? Perhaps even in the hope of creating a more suitable companion than Adamah?

There’s a lot that can be done with the bits and pieces of the Abrahamic narrative that Lilith appears in, if you strip it of its soul-crushing misogyny and attempts at demonization. Ultimately, though, it all leads to the question: why were the descendants of Adamah so desperate to demonize any example of womanhood that demanded equality?

Lilith’s children are all women who have suffered under patriarchy due to their biological sex. 

Sexism

From the moment that a girl is born, her treatment by others differs from how male babies are treated. This difference in treatment only increases as she ages toward sexual maturity. Once her breasts grow, and often even before, she will suffer at the hands of lustful, possessive, sexist males and the society they have built. She will bear that burden her whole life. 

Even if a biologically female person identifies as male and transitions, that person will not be treated as an equal by men, or by trans women. Look up the term “uterus duty” and consider how often trans men are shouted down, crowded out and given zero loyalty by trans women. And consider Brandon Teena and what men do when they find out that trans men weren’t born biologically male.

This is sexism. This is what women face every day. This is what trans men face even though they identify as male: sexism is based on other people’s reaction to recognizing your biological sex.

What about male-born people?

Men do not experience sexism. They created the structure by which sexism against women is perpetuated, and they have benefited from it for millennia. If a woman loathes all men, not all may deserve it, but she still doesn’t have the weight of history and society behind her hatred, and he usually doesn’t have to worry about her trying to fucking murder him.

Trans women can only experience sexism if they pass so completely and perfectly that sexists mistake them for women. The new crop of bearded, male-named, male-pronouned, oddly-obsessed-with-their-penises “trans women” have never experienced sexism in their lives. They have experienced male privilege. And like most males, they are SO privileged that they don’t even realize it’s privilege. They think it’s what they deserve--and that everyone else naturally deserves less. They are wrong.

Male-born people are not the children of Lilith. 

They can still develop a relationship with her, but that relationship will have a foundation that is only as strong as their solidarity with those who have experienced sexism their whole lives. The “priest of Lilith” who fucks around or hits his girlfriend is in for a bad time. The “priestess of Lilith” who advocates brutality and murder toward women who won’t suck her “lady-dick” is in for a VERY bad time.

Biologically male people can serve Lilith in a community of Lilin women if voted in by those women. But if they disrupt the circle, demand leadership or special recognition, bring sexism and entitlement into the circle, or otherwise behave like the men who have tormented women for the entirety of history, they are not to be tolerated. And they will not be tolerated--by Lilith.

She’s not a passive spirit who guilt-trips you with finger-wagging and tears. Both men I know who crossed her ended up headed for the hospital: one to ICU and years of physical therapy, the other to the basement from a massive coronary. She doesn’t mess around. Or in short: 

You don’t like her rules? I dare you to take it up with her.

You cannot claim a place in the circle. You must be invited. Your pride and sense of entitlement do not matter to Lilith. In fact, she despises male pride and entitlement, no matter how you identify. Leave it behind if you wish to work with her. Leave your violence, threats, thirst for the spotlight and sense of superiority behind when you enter the presence of Lilith. If you can do that, you will be welcome pretty much anywhere.

Angry that she focuses on those born with a female body?

She doesn’t care. I can’t make her care, and I’m not gonna try.

Almost all the rest of society throughout history has focused on the male-bodied. Almost all religions that exist are ridiculously patriarchal. If men and trans women can’t handle that something in the world isn’t focused on them, that is their narcissism, which is a serious personality flaw that they need to fix. It does not mean they are facing an injustice.

Lilith isn’t going to coddle men in any capacity, and she is dubious of those who claim womanhood without real solidarity with women. 

If your heart and intentions are good, yeah...she adopts. A lot of Mothers do. But if you think that Lilith owes anything to anyone but those who know her suffering as the First Woman, you’re in for a nasty surprise when you try to tell her that.

She’s really not interested in whether men or trans women, who have never in all of history been enslaved for their reproductive capacity, who can literally avoid any chance of sexism by changing their clothes, and who are spoiled rotten by this society by being viewed as male, thinks of who she embraces as her own. 

What about trans men?

Trans men may be men in their hearts, but they were persecuted and often continue to be persecuted because of their bodies. Sexism against them takes many forms: men treating them with disrespect, disgust or violence, trans women shoving them aside time and again in trans culture and activism. That’s real. It’s not okay. Lilith gets that. 

Does she accept trans men as her sons? If they want to be. If they identify so strongly with men that they loathe women, she doesn’t want them. But if she accepts a trans man, and he is abused and othered by women in the circle, they are going to get the back of her hand, because family isn’t supposed to do that shit to each other no matter how they got in.

The legends of Lilith go back to Babylonian times. She is one of the spirits that first interacted with humankind. Described as wild, willful and mischievous by the males who chronicled her stories, she has always been the archetypal rebellious woman. She stands equal to any man, and demands that be acknowledged--and if he fails to give her her due, there will be consequences. She also protects women, blessing those who stand up for themselves and their children--especially against male abuse and tyranny.

Needless to say, male religious authorities were very quick to demonize her. Patriarchy had no place for a woman who would not do what she was told. She became the runaway wife, the barren one, the murderer of children, because to men like that, an equal woman was a frightening figure. A demon...a witch. A threat. She scared them, because she would not be dominated by them. And the women who turned to her often found the strength to stand up for themselves in ways that terrified these primitive men.

You know from history what men do to women who scare them.

So she was demonized, and her spiritual children were slaughtered. And ever since then, women who feel called by her have been struggling to develop a relationship with Lilith using the scraps of understanding left to us in the wake of this destructive campaign.

Who are her people today? Where are her children? Her children are the women who will not bend. Who demand their equality, and will fight and die for the respect they deserve. 

She calls her own every woman who has suffered because of her sex, and who fight on behalf of everyone in her position.