AnimeShipper

#FearTheDeer

“You? Me? Golden Deer? We could be great together.“  “I love you. With everything I am.”

Dedue: Her alarm didn’t go off.

Sylvain: All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?

Ashe: Ooh! She was kidnapped in her sleep.

Sylvain: That’s what I’m talking about. Super dark, Ashe, but way more plausible than Dedue’s idiotic alarm clock theory.

Felix: I bet she tucked herself in her bed too tight and got stuck.

Annette: Mmm, maybe she fell into another dimension.

(Dimitri enters the classroom)

Dimitri: It’s 9 o'clock. Why is no one studying?

Sylvain: Ingrid is a few minutes late, and we’re all trying to guess why.

Dimitri: I’d like to play. I’d say...She’s in line at the armory. This is fun.

Sylvain: It IS fun, but you’re all WRONG. She clearly slipped through a hole into the basement and is having terrible sex with a mole man.

(Ingrid enters the classroom)

Sylvain: There she is! Ingrid! Where have you been?! We’ve been worried sick! Explain yourself!

Ingrid: I’m just 70 seconds late, it’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.

Dimitri: Ingrid, you will tell us and you will tell us now.

Ingrid: ...There was a problem at the armory...

Dimitri: That’s the fourth time this week you’ve brought up cannibalizing me. Should I be worried?

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Sylvain: ...So needless to say, she peed on me.

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Petra: Wow, this Heineken has such a smooth finish!

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Caspar: Do you think I can fit an entire orange in my mouth?

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Dorothea: If I hear someone sing Hamilton in the shower again I’m joining them in their shower so I can drown them.

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Mercedes: Someone just gave me a free cake. Should I be worried?

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Cyril: How did they manage to get that in BOTH shower stalls!?

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Ashe: How much caffeine is poisonous? Asking for myself, I’m actually worried.

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Linhardt: (faintly, as though yelled from in a room down the hall) Can you come hand me my Swiss rolls? My head spins if I sit up.

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Lorenz: Well you see, nobility is actually- (anguished yelling from multiple people)

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Hilda: Why is Bernadetta sitting in a box in the hallway with a sweater vest draped over her head?

Ferdinand: Stress.

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Annette: What’s the difference between an undergraduate research assistant and a random nosy 17 year old? Less than you’d think!

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Ignatz: Let Bob Ross caress your happy little struggles away.

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Leonie: He talks like he thinks the world is waiting with bated breath to hear what he thinks about Fight Club.

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Dimitri: I have depression.

Byleth: For the 9th time, it’s called the “mission report.”

Alois Rangeld:

Annette Fantine Dominic:

Ashe Ubert:

Bernadetta von Varley:

Caspar von Bergliez:

Catherine:

Claude von Riegan:

Cyril:

Dedue Molinaro:

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd:

Me: Because your mother loved roses, son.

Child: Oh, I see. Thanks Dad.