oh goodness! oh dear!! oh no!!!

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT 1.01 Pilot

the entire town gets brainwashed by a ripoff dungeons and dragons game into becoming insane murderous larpers. evil nuns make drugs called fizzle rocks. archie flees to the middle of nowhere because everyone's trying to kill him just for a bear to try to kill him. half the season takes place in an underground ex-military now-sex bunker. betty finds out she has the serial killer genes. chad michael murray runs an organ harvesting cult. veronica runs a speakeasy at sixteen years old. betty and jughead set his childhood home on fire because his mom turned it into a drug lab. there's a heathers musical episode. there's a character named evelyn evernever. toni runs a lesbian girl biker gang called the pretty poisons. cheryl meets her dead twin as a mummified corpse. betty hallucinates levitating babies. cheryl and toni have hot lesbian sex while archie fights a dozen evil larpers. hiram is incarcerated in the prison he owns. the entire cheer squad has a mass seizure because of contaminated water.