imsadicry

mom called me a fag yesterday by accident

she was going to call me a bitch (playful) and i saw her gears turning like no but he's trans i need to call him the male equivalent. and then say fag and look so so surprised at the word that came out of her own mouth. it was like watching someone fail a disco elysium skill check irl

sometimes I feel like a little kitty cat

but but you are fish

have you ever shipped something so hard that you become irrationally happy and make a sound akin to steam escaping from a kettle everytime they so much as stand next to eachother

[grandma voice] back in my day, sonny, we called it “squeeing”.

[crumbles into dust]

being pet is probably my favorite thing in the world

I want five hundred billion dollars and I want whoever reads this to have five hundred billion dollars

hold on. manifesting

Where’s my money, fish.

so after the revelation that Taylor Swift’s private jet is the highest carbon dioxide emitter of any celebrity, she’ll still trend at number 1 two weeks later because she announced a new album and everyone conveniently forgot about the environment thing. we really learned fucking nothing huh.

bringing this back today

Jesse. Jesse meth isn't the only thing we're cooking. Because today's video was sponsored by Hello Fresh.

how dare you treat me like this dont you know im neurodivergent and *remembers i’m over 18* a major