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BF and I babysat his friend's 5-year-old son today for a couple hours and it was, well, real! He's a pretty cute kid, but kept joking he was going to k*ll me and the first time it was funny but by the sixth time he said he was either going to k*ll me or turn into a bomb and blow me up, I was kind of like...dude...you're hurting my feelings. And I said something to that effect. It was also kind of disturbing because he did not say the same things to BF!

His friend had previously shared with me he was getting in trouble at school for saying these types of things but I have to say it was something else to be on the receiving end. Then as soon as she got home she made a joke about calling the police on him within like 30 seconds for slightly misbehaving and I was like 🫠.

#maybe using asterisks is overkill I just don't want the tumblr algorithm to get mad at me

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MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have felt terrible about poetry for like 2 years straight, but a print anthology I'm going to be in is finally slated for publication in spring 2027, and I was just sent the copyedits...some astounding poets are inside (Carolyn Forché? Philip Metres? SHUT UP!!!!).

It's very cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#I got the acceptance for this anthology in 2024 LOLOL

I am already hardcore in vacation mode, which is too bad because I don’t go on vacation until next Thursday! Bf and I are driving to Colorado to go to one of my best friend’s weddings (the one I am photographing!!!). So we’ll be in the Vail area for a few days and then meander over to Colorado Springs to meet BF’s family (eeeeeeek!!!!), stopping for hikes, ghost towns, and hot springs on the way. It will be a LOT of driving, kind of a great road trip vacation, but I think it’ll be fun!

#in the meantime can work just GO TF AWAY

distractionsfromthefood

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I have plants growing in the rear wheel well of my car, IF YOU EVEN CARE!!!!!!

zegalba

top: SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)

bottom: Mark Rothko (1952)

filmnoirsbian

I have so much love and respect for women who are honest about their own loneliness but also find the good in it like when audrey hepburn said “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel” and when charlotte bronte said “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself” and when jenny slate said “I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that there will always be a ribbon of loneliness running through who I am. But that’s why I want to do comedy, and why I want to connect with people. You can use that ribbon to be a part of a finer tapestry, or you can choke yourself out with it! Your choice!” and when mary oliver said “whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh & exciting - over & over announcing your place in the family of things”

At a coffee shop waiting for new brakes to be installed on my car and working. Or trying to, it's actually quite noisy here. Some sundry caffeineated thoughts:

The auto shop told me I also need new brakes/struts which are $2100 and my 2008 Prius is only worth like $4500 according to KBB, if I sold privately, NOT taking into account it needs that work. I'm suddenly like NO do I need a new car soon??????

I remembered that BF told me how much he used to drink when he was in grad school on Friday and that really bothered me and may have been part of why I was upset Saturday/Sunday. BRAIN WHY YOU JUST FORGET THINGS THAT UPSET YOU...????? I think a lot of it is he got married so young that after his divorce in 2021, grad school was kind of living the 20s he didn't have. I also don't know why it surprised me so much considering I know how much everyone he went to grad school with drinks still. I'm like, you people are roughly 28-40 years old, it isn't cute! And he doesn't drink much at all now and he's said he likes that I don't drink much. I think it bothers me because I just would never date someone who drinks the amount he used to or that a lot of his current friends do now.

It's early days but Opzelura does have the feeling of a miracle cream. It hasn't even been a week, but for the first time in about six months I haven't had any new perioral dermatitis spots pop up for more than about 3 days in a row.

I want to know what Taylor Swift's wedding dress looked like!!!!!!!! WHEN WILL WE GET PICTURES!!!!!!!! I am being parasocial even though I don't like her as a person and I don't care!!!

Anyway, good morning! It's July!

I've been feeling emotionally off this weekend and I don't know why. It's really frustrating to not know why! I just feel a little down and a little anxious and like I want to hide from everyone and everything for a few days.

I think some part of me may finally be chafing at having so little time to myself these days, despite the fact that spending time with BF is almost always my preference. I also think I may have a case of summer seasonal affective disorder, or maybe not even a bad enough case to actually call it SAD, but the past week and a half it's been so freaking miserable outside with the humidity and it's SO uncomfortable and I hate it.

But ultimately I don't feel like I even know exactly why I feel like this and that's the worst part!!!!!

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Yesterday BF remarked of Pepper (above), “Wow, you know, I think she really, REALLY, really likes you now.” And it does kind of seem that way!! When I’m around she often rubs herself against my legs and screams until I get down on the ground with her and pet her face lots. I also often brush her while BF is cooking and she loves that, too.

She has been getting to explore the backyard a bit under close supervision and has no interest in going very far. She just likes to flop on a sunny patch of bricks. She finds grass mysterious and spooky and refuses to cross the threshold onto it, which is helpful for these jaunts outdoors.

brostateexam

Periodic reminder that you should have an emergency kit! An emergency kit contains stuff you need during an emergency and won't be able to get easily. That should be things like stored water / water filtration or purification in case running water shuts off or your water treatment facilities are out of whack, emergency food that is shelf stable and doesn't need to be heated or that can be cooked without a working stove (assume no power/gas -- can you still cook and eat this? If no, it's not actually helpful), cash in small denominations for buying stuff while payment processing is offline, stuff to amuse yourself if there's no electricity for a while, supplies for your pets, first aid and other medical supplies, etc.

What should go in there and how many days it should last depends on where you live. For me, the worst case scenario is an earthquake with multiple weeks until infrastructure recovery. For you, it may be a blizzard and only a few days, or a flood and two weeks, or a wildfire or a tsunami where the main thing is more having a strong evacuation plan vs an emergency kit, per se. Everyone's circumstances are different. Plan for yours.

I never gave a dermatology update! My NP is prescribing me a newer eczema cream called Opzelura. People on Reddit seem to have had great success with it for perioral dermatitis. I had to get a prior auth through my insurance but thankfully that came through.

My NP agrees that another round of antibiotics would be an absolute last resort (hallelujah!) and actually suggests that allergy patch testing would be the next step if the Opzelura doesn’t work. But hopefully, it does!

fairweathermyth

SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE (2022-2024) Bridget Everett as Sam Miller Jeff Hiller as Joel

I have a checkup with my dermatologist for my perioral dermatitis today and I’m 90% sure they’re going to tell me it’s time for antibiotics, but after Yeastmageddon, which coincided with me finishing a month-long round of doxycycline for skin issues, I am now mega-anti antibiotics unless absolutely necessary. The perioral dermatitis sucks, but it’s not as bad as it’s been. I think Yeastmageddon was also related to the Mirena but I don’t think I’d have been susceptible the way I was if my microbiome hadn’t just been wiped out by doxy. I just NEVER EVER EVER want to go anything like that again. Four months of straight misery, my god.

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frogeyedape

if your main position is "i don't know how you people can support harm reduction. as for me, i'm for harm abolition. no i don't have a plan. no actually i mostly just bitch at people advocating for harm reduction as a way of making myself look pure" your opinions on political strategy are irrelevant and you yourself are beneath contempt you need to examine your beliefs, your need to feel righteous, your actual impact on the world, and how you can go about making an impact that aligns with your beliefs.

If you really believe harm is bad, and eliminating harm is a worthy goal, you have to start with small steps: eliminate a small harm, not all harms all at once. Reduce a great harm a little, perhaps by helping one individual impacted by that harm, and then another individual, and another... You cannot tackle all harm at once; you must take smaller bites. Set this reality against your need to feel right & correct & pure & perfect. Reducing some harm instead of all harm is not failure! You are not a failure! You may fail now and again, but failing once or twice or ten thousand times doesn't change the fact that you can still try again and succeed! You are not a failure even when you fail to reach your impossible goal of perfection.

You may not be able to complete the work of eliminating harm. But you can do your part to work toward that goal, reducing harm where you can. Your work layered with all the work of everyone who came before you, everyone who works beside you, and everyone who picks up the work when you set it down--all this work layered into making things besmal--that's a goal both possible and worth fighting for.

regularlywrong

I'm sure someone else has already posted this elsewhere, but Robert Caro put it extremely well in The Power Broker:

"[Al Smith] had no patience for reformers who didn’t understand the importance of practical politics in getting things done, who refused to compromise, who insisted on having the bill as it was written, who raged loudly at injustice who fought single-mindedly for an unattainable ideal. Their pigheadedness had the effect of dragging to political destruction politicians to listened to them, of ruining careers men had taken years to build. He had seen it happen. And more important, what was the inevitable result of their efforts?

Since they refused to compromise and operate within the political framework - the only framework with which their proposals could become reality - the laws they proposed were never enacted, and therefore at the end of their effort the people they wanted to help, the people who he knew so well needed help, hadn’t been helped at all. If anything, they had been hurt; the stirring up of hard feelings and bitterness delayed less dramatic but still useful reforms that might have been enacted. When the reformers were finished with all their hollering and were back in their comfortable homes, the widows of the Fourth Ward would still be forced to give up their children before they could get charity. What good was courage if its only effect was to hurt those you were trying to help? "

jt1674

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