store in a dry, cool place away from light & sound

one of the chocolate guys videos appears on your dash. you pause your scrolling to watch it, trying to guess what he’s making because this doesn’t seem to be one you’ve seen before. as the video goes on you get more unnerved and impressed — he seems to be making a whole human being this time, and it’s uncannily realistic. it’s even filled with candied fruit and sweet pastries in place of organs, red velvet cake and a cherry reduction making up flesh and blood beneath the chocolate. but something feels off. the person he’s making seems strangely familiar. upon the final reveal, you know why. amaury guichon has created a perfect replica of you

why is this making me laugh so fucking hard

THANK YOU FOR ADDING A VISUAL OMG

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.

til death or some guy do us part

I arrive at the Group Chat Multiple POVs in the book. Narrative third personed. Tits out. I am forcibly removed from the Chat.

Ah, a poll! Wonderful.

This post is about lactose intolerance I can smell it.