lifegetstricky.com

Someone here could make a post like "kicking a baby is never ok", and one of you nuance-snorting enlightened intellectuals would barge in like "but what if it's a genetically bioengineered chimera baby who has been spliced with the DNA of a football, who will get rubber bone cancer if they don't get kicked around regularly. you can't ever just make a generalised blanket term statement ever that doesn't consider every single outlier possibility that may hypothetically exist. uwu."

An old man who insists he has the right of way at every crossing no matter what the law says, encounters a spandex biker who insists on riding on the road that's right next to a perfectly viable and usable bike lane. They naturally crash into each other, and die on impact. As they both died gloriously in battle according to their shared beliefs, they are both retreived by shrieking winged she-abominations that resemble an equal mix of a seagull and Margaret Thatcher, and are carried off to Traffic Valhalla, where they get to beat the shit out of each other, and other fallen vehicle warriors alike them, forever and ever.