Ten years ago, Jeremy and I met under the most unexpected circumstances. I was in my mid-thirties, navigating the bustling city life, while he, with his devastatingly good looks, was in his mid-twenties, fresh from a small town. I didn't dare think much about him or even glance twice when he walked into the restaurant. In my mind, he was out of my league and certainly not looking for someone like meāa middle-aged woman. But according to Jeremy, the moment he saw me, his heart began to race as if it was the first day of being alive. His world stopped, and his breath quickened. He knew, right then, that I was the one.
Thatās probably why he never gave up on pursuing me, despite my best efforts to hide my interest and myself from him. I thought there was no way this would end well. Our lives were worlds apartāour friends, our goals, even our personalities.
Jeremy and I had to conquer many obstacles during those early years. It didnāt help that I was older, and his mother wasnāt my biggest fan. When we married two years into our relationship, his mother was convinced I had brainwashed her son with my 'aging charms'. Now, years into our marriage, the age gap rarely crosses our minds. But with his mother moving in, and our busy schedules putting a strain on our relationship, her words linger. Were we really in different stages of our lives?
Jeremyās been swamped with his work and horse riding competitions. When heās home, his focus is on the twins. Heās still incredibly kind, thoughtful, and nearly perfect, but a part of me wonders if he sees me the same way he used to. Does he still get excited to come home to me, like I do for him? His touches feel unfamiliar at times, and those sweet āI love yousā or calls from work just to check on me (not the kids) have dwindled. I should talk to him, but a part of me is scared. Blogging about it may not be the smartest move, but Iām desperate to get these feelings out.
Recently, I stumbled upon a picture of us from our wedding rehearsal night. It took me back to how we used to be, how excited he was to start a life with me. He left everything behind and turned his world upside down just to be with me. To him, at that time, I was worth giving up everything for. I was his whole world. So, why do I now feel like I no longer fit into his current world?
Thanks for letting me share. š