aurora legion reject

ZILA MADRAN I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I

so Humans, Beretraskens, and Syldrathi are all close enough DNA wise to have kids with each other, close enough in fact that those kids aren’t weird sterile evolutionary fuckups like mules or ligers. This means that, presumably, they all have similar body structure, including things that make zero fucking sense for a creature that evolved away from earth, like swimming, or hair, or fingernails or idfk like any other human thing, eye color? I know the whole thing that the eshvaren seeded life but like… millions of years of divergent evolution with dramatically change shit. Also how the fuck is their blood different colors? You can’t have a child and a mother using entirely different compounds for blood oxygenation???? How the ever loving fuck did scar and Ty not die in their mothers womb from having hemoglobin based blood why mama jones had god knows what bullshit the Syldrathi have??? Do the longbows carry around separate types of blood for each species of legionaire? Where do they get the Syldrathi blood?? I NEED ANSWERS DAMNIT

also like…. Three different species all being able to like… sire children with each other is wild, because it means the parts…. Match. And given… ya know…. Millions of years of evolution… that means that the human Funny Bits (TM) are evolutionarily optimal.

The species’ evolutionary histories is one of those things where you just ✨don’t think about it✨ Same with the blood thing. It’s not like oxygen is that important anyway 💀 It’s not like other types of blood protein incompatibility can already cause potential known issues during a pregnancy 💀

It was probably rough af for Mama Jones on top of the regular hardship. Maybe all three of em were stuck on death’s doorstep for the whole pregnancy.

Where do they get Syldrathi blood??? Uhhhh… That is a very fine question. I mean there’s not many of them in the Legion to start and not a whole lot of em left as it is so maybe at the very least they all just put some of their own plasma (or hemolymph I guess if we’re going with the deep sea creature theory) into storage every so often to have when they’re out in the field. Cause fuck knows what components their blood has that could make it incompatible with other Syldrathi. Or idk it’s the future and there’s alien tech so maybe synthetic bio-equivalent blood is a thing.

Even if there had been a few scattered instances of Syldrathi/Terran frisky business up until that point, there’s no proof as evident as mixed species children, which before Tyler and Scarlett, didn’t exist as far as anyone knew. So Jericho automatically gets some freak points for being sort of a pioneer. Secondly, for some reason doing the horizontal mambo took priority over getting out of enemy captivity. Like ????? I know self-preservation ultimately has evolutionary ties to reproductive fitness but like goddamn man your survival in a life or death situation ain’t determined by getting laid.

May I also submit to you though that Mama Jones is deserving of some freak points. I’m still curious as to how they met cause he was a POW and idk how Waywalkers would’ve been involved in a manner that the two of them could’ve crossed paths enough to develop a relationship and get it on. But I digress. I imagine encountering an enemy soldier, imprisoned or not, would evoke strong emotions cause at the very least you’d know they were directly partaking in the killing of your people. That being said, the emotion she felt had to have been lust. Cause like girl… if they catch you in bed with the enemy they’ll think you’re in bed with the enemy. But no. Miss ma’am had to bang an alien. That’s some freak shit. Then she went a step further and had kids with him.

Then there’s Tyler unknowingly following in the freaky footsteps of both his parents.

☑️ Was basically a POW

☑️ Abysmal choice of time and place

☑️ Questionable judgement of priorities

☑️ Going for who poses the most danger to you

Bro was in the middle of a galactic clusterfuck and had no clue what was going on. Saedii literally tried to kill him and his squad, constantly insulted him, was condescending as fuck, and knee’d him in the dick twice. And after all that the dude was still tryna keep himself from thinking sexy thoughts about her. Then he was totally down to go at it like a couple days later after getting stabbed by her second in command. They were both very much in no physical condition to be wrecking the room and making each other bleed like they did and yet…

The Jones parents gambled all their freak points in the lottery of life and Tyler was the jackpot I guess.

But let’s not neglect Scarlett though.

She was getting killed over and over again, trapped inside a collapsing time paradox, hiding from people who would kill her on sight, and she really should have been helping Zila and Nari figure out how they were going to survive. But lo and behold, the self-proclaimed atheist decided to get to know Finian in a biblical sense and only didn’t because he stopped her. At least she diverged from the rest of the family in that she didn’t choose someone she would have reason to be wary of.

But essentially it’s the Jones Family freaky MO: Life at risk. Horrible choice of time and place. Severe lapse in ability to prioritize. Alien.

so Humans, Beretraskens, and Syldrathi are all close enough DNA wise to have kids with each other, close enough in fact that those kids aren’t weird sterile evolutionary fuckups like mules or ligers. This means that, presumably, they all have similar body structure, including things that make zero fucking sense for a creature that evolved away from earth, like swimming, or hair, or fingernails or idfk like any other human thing, eye color? I know the whole thing that the eshvaren seeded life but like… millions of years of divergent evolution with dramatically change shit. Also how the fuck is their blood different colors? You can’t have a child and a mother using entirely different compounds for blood oxygenation???? How the ever loving fuck did scar and Ty not die in their mothers womb from having hemoglobin based blood why mama jones had god knows what bullshit the Syldrathi have??? Do the longbows carry around separate types of blood for each species of legionaire? Where do they get the Syldrathi blood?? I NEED ANSWERS DAMNIT

also like…. Three different species all being able to like… sire children with each other is wild, because it means the parts…. Match. And given… ya know…. Millions of years of evolution… that means that the human Funny Bits (TM) are evolutionarily optimal.

The species’ evolutionary histories is one of those things where you just ✨don’t think about it✨ Same with the blood thing. It’s not like oxygen is that important anyway 💀 It’s not like other types of blood protein incompatibility can already cause potential known issues during a pregnancy 💀

It was probably rough af for Mama Jones on top of the regular hardship. Maybe all three of em were stuck on death’s doorstep for the whole pregnancy.

Where do they get Syldrathi blood??? Uhhhh… That is a very fine question. I mean there’s not many of them in the Legion to start and not a whole lot of em left as it is so maybe at the very least they all just put some of their own plasma (or hemolymph I guess if we’re going with the deep sea creature theory) into storage every so often to have when they’re out in the field. Cause fuck knows what components their blood has that could make it incompatible with other Syldrathi. Or idk it’s the future and there’s alien tech so maybe synthetic bio-equivalent blood is a thing.

Humans got red blood. The breakdown of red blood cells (specifically the heme in hemoglobin) results in a waste product that gets metabolized further into different stuff depending on where in the body it’s occurring. One of these resulting metabolites is ultimately responsible for why our piss is yellow.

Syldrathi got purple blood.

Syldrathi piss ain’t necessarily yellow.

Thanks for subjecting yourself to my TED talk.

if humans' blood is red because of iron, what element makes syldrathis' blood purple? which begs the question, if betraskans' blood is pink, does that mean they're iron deficient?

confusedly yours,

its just American school lunch food

- Squad 312 traveling through vents and shafts: fuck it, we crawl

- Squad 312 catching feelings and getting into relationships left and right: fuck it, we fall

- Squad 312 after their first assignment is a disaster: fuck it, we AWOL

- Squad 312 getting high: fuck it, tetrahydracannabinol

- Kal when shit breaks loose: fuck it, we brawl

- Finian in the past writing the note for Kal: fuck it, we scrawl

- Zila existing: fuck it, we small

- Syldrathi existing: fuck it, we tall

- Tyler the more shit continually hits the fan: fuck it, ditch protocol

- Auri after using her powers: fuck it, white eyeball

- Scarlett downloading Magellan: fuck it, install

- Magellan after constantly being told to enter Silent Mode: fuck you, I’m a know-it-all

- Caersan looking at Syldra: fuck it, kill em all

- Saedii to everything: fuck it, and fuck y’all

- The Ra’haam: fuck it, we all

- The Great Ultrasaur of Abraaxis IV: fuck it, we maul

some random person - oh hey....you don't look like most Syldrathi huh

Hair has no metallic luster to it; it’s just straight up whitish grey. Eyes are more blue than violet. No innate gracefulness in their movements. They kinda just resemble a tall lanky human.

Tyler - "Ma'am that breaks an uncomfortable amount of health and safety laws 😔"

Scarlett - "that comes to...omg no wait you're too hot to pay moneyy ugh i hate the patriarchy" (she meant the economy)

Cat - *directly in front of multiple customers during rush hour* "if i spend one more minute in this stupid fucking store I WILL buy a gun."

Finian - "so that's an iced bun and.....you're gay aren't you. *Customer shakes their head* it's ok. This is a safe space🥺"

Zila - "Tap your card..........tap it there..............tap. it. On the bit that's says TAP. THE. CARD."

Auri - *her first ever shift* "you want that sliced?......oh. ok I'm gonna be vulnerable right now, I would do that.....but the slicing machine is really scary." 😥

Istg though no one actually comprehends the “tap” part of “tap to pay.”

I’m over here frothing at the mouth

My gal Zila in 100 meter tall golden statue form ✨