Library Tumble

I really want to believe that this was sent in earnest but the language U use here is troubling (”[T]hings would be a lot better”) and frankly incredibly patronizing (”You’re literally one of the few good ones that actually uses her brain … Well done!”) – either way, let this be a lesson to U:

the ultimate problem here is not women’s hatred and fear of men; the problem isn’t that women refuse to humanise and love men – the ultimate problem here is men’s violent and dehumanising modes of behaviour and thinking, which give women reason to hate and fear men

what men never seem to be able to fully grasp or internalise is that the masculine identity itself exists in relation to femininity and womanhood – it is dependent on femininity and womanhood for its own existence, and is not something separate from them; violating and dehumanizing women is an essential identity-making process for men, it is something necessary for and central to masculinity – just as being open to violation, dehumanization, and commodification is what femininity is centred around; masculinity is designed to make use of this designed openness in femininity to sustain itself; the existence of masculinity/manhood itself as an identity and a social location is detrimental and is meant to be detrimental

what U imply here is that men can continue to exist as-is, and that all that is required for “things [to] be a lot better” is for women to love and humanise them – what I don’t think U understand is that the relation between masculinity/manhood and femininity/womanhood necessitates that kind of behaviour from women anyway, just as it necessitates violence from men – it is not in spite of our loving and humanising U, but because of it that U hurt and kill us

women should not be obligated to, but more importantly literally cannot do the work of fixing/healing men – should not, because it is difficult to do so without re-inscribing the existing power relationship between masculinity and femininity (i.e., where women do emotional labour for men); cannot, because women do not have the kind of perspective needed to do the work of shifting men out of masculinity – only men and people who have insight into the subjective experience of masculine socialization/trauma can do that

don’t just pay it. do not automatically pay the hospital bill when you receive it. call your health insurance provider and POLITELY say, “excuse me, i just received a bill for $1200 for my hospital visit/ER visit/etc., is that the correct amount i’m supposed to pay?” because hospitals bill you before your health insurance and they will take your money no matter how the amount due may change based on your health insurance looking at it. 90% of the time, if your health insurance is in any way involved in the payment of that bill, you do not have to pay as much as the hospital is billing you for. call your health insurance provider first, and POLITELY request clarification, always remember that the person you are talking to is human and this is just their job, and then you will very likely find out you actually only owe $500.

Also, it is important [for people receiving medical care in the USA] to carefully read all of the items on the medical bill and look for errors and overcharges. I know that the normal feelings of avoidance and dread can make it hard to look at scary hospital bills, and that’s okay! But as the OP mentions, private orgs like hospitals don’t monitor overpayment of bills - they are motivated to charge you extra - and it is basically impossible to get your money back. Read the bill carefully and make sure that the charges are correct, using the links below for help if you need. If they haven’t sent you an itemized list, you can ask for one. Sometimes you will be charged extra for items or treatment you didn’t receive. Most people don’t know that you can dispute medical bills! But in 2009, Consumer Reports stated that 8 out of 10 medical bills scrutinized by a watchdog had errors, and generally you are not obligated to pay for someone else’s error.

You may be charged for using medication that you actually brought into the hospital with you - that’s easy to dispute! You may be charged for the consumables used during your stay such as sheets, gloves, gowns, etc - the hospital should actually cover that under its running budget. You may be charged for a brand name drug if the generic was available for cheaper - the links below explain how and when you can dispute this. You may be charged a surprisingly expensive “oral administration fee” (where a nurse puts pills for you to take in a little clean paper cup and then hands it to you) but that’s worth disputing if you were actually able to take the pill out of a bottle and put it in your own mouth. And so on.

8 Things You Should Know About Challenging a Medical Bill (FORBES) (includes links to sites that help you calculate how much a procedure/treatment usually costs in your area, if the costs seem super high)

7 Tips for Fighting and Paying A Huge Medical Bill (FORBES) This explains briefly how to negotiate costs, and payment plans.

10 Common Medical Billing Overcharges You Can Prevent (Bill Advocates) A breakdown of errors and overcharges to double check.

Her terror gives way to the almost tearful relief that she is not going to come to harm at the hands of these officers. At least not today.

This wouldn’t work without the terror. Without fear, there’s no relief. And I’d imagine nobody bothered to ask her beforehand if a pair of ice cream cones are worth the terrifying lead-up of being pulled over when you have no idea what you did wrong.

Pulling someone over to be nice to them is bullshit, period. The amount of “oh SHIT, what did I do wrong and how much am I going to suffer for it” associated with that action, even before you throw in the possibility of being killed, is unpleasant enough—scolding enough, threatening enough—to negate any positive thing they might do, and to use it just to hand out ice cream makes it an extremely backhanded “friendly gesture.” It’s at least the equivalent of being yelled at, and generally with more threat value.

It’s deliberate use of a fear tactic, a threat display, and then following it up with an unsolicited favor so that the person is obligated to say “thank you” instead of “that sucked.” With, again, no agreement on the value of the trade, just one person deciding on the terms and enforcing the transaction, and if the other person refuses they’re still out what was taken from them.

There’s a variety of mean-spirited pranks that fall under this type. I recall hearing of a guy who faked a car accident to propose to his girlfriend, had her called to the scene and told he was dying, in order to surprise her with a ring. There’s the shitty pick-up line joke of shoving a napkin in someone’s face with “Does this smell like chloroform to you?” There’s people who’ve faked arrests or kidnappings of their prospective fiancees in order to stage a proposal. There’s the bully fake-out of walking up menacingly to a habitual victim only to surprise them with a hug or present or apology. Destroying someone’s car right before surprising them with a new one. False fire alarms. Fake terrorist attacks. I’m sure I’m missing a few. 

It’s all deliberately invoking feelings of terror and helplessness. It deliberately uses the already-present infrastructure of oppression to set up the relief porn. It deliberately calls to mind feelings of helplessness and impending catastrophe in its targets, bringing nightmares (and sometimes memories) to the fore. It deliberately pushes people into an uncomfortable, if not terrifying, situation, so somebody can play the benevolent god by taking them out of it.

Thing is, even if you’re playing a benevolent god, you’re still playing god, which is something nobody should be doing to each other without explicit prior consent.

mike, lucas, dustin, and el are in a weird sci-fi coming of age story where the group of plucky misfit kids solve the mystery and test their friendship along the way

nancy and jonathan are in a horror movie where the teenagers have to kill the monster set against a backdrop of high school drama and romance

joyce and hopper are in a conspiracy thriller where the adults have to figure out what shady stuff the government is up to while also dealing with the difficulties of their personal lives

Today we have a guest post from Cindy (White Oak Library District) talking about craft tips that every teen librarian should know.

Craft Tips I Wish I Had known When I Became a Teen Services Librarian

Never buy off brand Perler beads. They melt at a different rate and that makes it more difficult to get a clear image.

When you have glue always watch the teens carefully. You might think teens can handle glue successfully and some can, but you will see teens glue themselves together, eat glue and also try to sniff the glue that smells funny.

You are going to burn yourself and that is way better than having a teen burn themselves. I have invested in heavy duty oven mitts, because I had a toaster oven door fall open and it gave me a second degree burn.

Make sure you have a first aid kit. Mistakes in crafts happen and you want to be prepared. Teen will get burns, cuts and all sorts of mishaps.

Pinterest fails can and will happen. It looks so wonderful in the picture and now you and the teens have made the ugliest craft in the world. That is part of the fun of crafting. The teens are getting to hang out and have a shared experience.

Some teens are just terrible at crafts. You will have teens that try and then constantly break or make the worst crafts. Sometimes you can help, but remember it is their craft not yours.

Sometimes teens do not finish the craft and that is okay. Not every craft is going to be finished. Every teen has a different skills level.

The craft is not always the reason teens come. Teens know that the program is a place that they can hang out and talk with their friends. If I notice a teen is not doing the craft, sometimes I will ask them if they plan on doing the craft and if not, can I have their supplies to give to anther patron. I am really lucky I have a big enough programming room that having extra people hanging out is always okay.

Not everyone is going to sign up. Some communities are used to signing up ahead of time. I encourage teens to sign up, so I will have enough craft supplies. I did fairy jars in May. I had 30 people show up when only 5 had signed up. I had to close the doors because that was all the supplies I had.

Louisiana is experiencing the worst flooding in the history of the state.

Over 7,000 people have been rescued and over 5,000 people are in shelters unable to return to their homes. In addition, over 1,000 drivers are stranded on Interstate 12 between Baton Rouge and Slidell, who today received supplies flown in via helicopter. AT&T service has been down throughout the Baton Rouge metro area. One of my former professors told me he’s been living in Louisiana for 44 years, and has never witnessed flooding this severe.

In Denham Springs (about 10 miles from Baton Rouge), the Amite river is currently at 46′ and rising. Flood stage for the river starts at 29′. 

This is bad, really bad. Places that only flood once every 500 years are flooding. Unfortunately, these are also places where people don’t have flood insurance because they don’t live in a flood plain.

There was no warning for this, at least with hurricanes we can see them coming and have time to prepare or evacuate.

Please, if you can, donate to the victims through the Red Cross. Or, if you are interested in helping with post-flood disaster assistance, please sign up with Volunteer Louisiana.

If you live in the effected area and are in need of a shelter, This Link has a list of shelters in Ascension, East Baton Rouge, Iberia, Lafayette, Livingston, St. Helena, Tangipahoa, Vermillion, West Feliciana, and Washington Parishes.

If you are in need of rescue please call:

Baker: (225) 778-0300

Baton Rouge: (225) 389-5000

Central: (225) 367-1254

Livingston Parish: (225) 686-3996

St. Helena Parish: 222-4413 - press 0

NASA scientists have reported that they’ve successfully tested an engine called the electromagnetic propulsion drive, or the EM Drive, in a vacuum that replicates space. The EM Drive experimental system could take humans to Mars in just 70 days without the need for rocket fuel, and it’s no exaggeration to say that this could change everything.

But before we get too excited (who are we kidding, we’re already freaking out), it’s important to note that these results haven’t been replicated or verified by peer review, so there’s a chance there’s been some kind of error. But so far, despite a thorough attempt to poke holes in the results, the engine seems to hold up.

And the science community was like okay that… there’s no way that works.

Then they tested it theoretically and it worked.

Then NASA was like okay but technically this breaks one of Newton’s laws so even if it theoretically goes it won’t like, actually go. So they built it and tested it more and it works.

So what we have now is the scientific community slowly cautiously freaking out because this GODDAMN EM DRIVE breaks the RULES OF PHYSICS but every time we test it, it FUCKING WORKS.

Finding a biography (a book written by an author about someone else) is not hard, as long as you know who you want to read about. What’s a little harder is finding an autobiography (a book that a person writes about their own life). Often it’s tough to tell which books are regular biographies and which are autobiographies until you pick the book up off the shelf and read the author’s name. Finding a well done and interesting autobiography, or one by someone you want to read about, can be even more challenging. So, I decided to get busy and find a list of autobiographies for children to make the search a little easier for young readers, their parents, and my fellow seekers…

Ugly, by Robert Hoge

I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)

Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.

Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.

He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.

He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.

Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:

“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”

The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”

I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.