all the questions in my asks are the same worded differently. so i'll make a long post answering multiple points

The idea that there is a world outside of yourself is just your thought that there is a world. Body dies, alright? It dies. And with no one, no senses to perceive a world, the world goes as well. Both poof, both disappear.

YOU still exist. Can you imagine not existing????

Even when body, which is matter, goes, who you think you are (the personality) still stays. Here's how I know, not just from my documentation:

Before I discovered manifesting, back in 2019, I had a very poor sleep schedule, it was like 9-10 in the morning, I haven't slept all night, mentally I was wide awake but my body was so exhausted it felt so heavy on me. Mentally I was completely fine, so I had a hard time falling asleep. But I did. Or so I thought. Because as soon as I did I found 'myself' above my body, looking down at it. Reminder, I had no experience with spirituality, I watched a series about astral projecting in the past (Through her eyes on Netflix) but I won't say I believed it, or even contemplated that I could do it. Obviously when this happened none of my thoughts went to astral projection. I panicked so hard, if I had a body I would have been having 10 panic attacks a second and hyperventilating. I thought I was dead. That was my first thought. I was dead. I went from my bedroom to my parents, desperately calling for my mom, but no one was home, it was 10AM, weekday in the summer, and both my parents were at work. I was afraid to leave my parents room and go outside the house, because 1) my screaming was inaudible, even though I WAS screaming "MOM save me" with everything I had 😆 2) nobody could see me, i couldn't even see me, i was not even a cloud, i was nothing, how could anybody interact with me? 3) i was scared that if i went much farther away from my body, outside, then I would be abandoning it & really make it disappear since I was nowhere around it. What I did was go back to my bedroom, scream my name in my face telling myself to wake up. It didn't work, 'I' didn't hear me either. So my next action plan was to give myself CPR. I had no body, but what other choice did I have except attempt at resurrecting myself? I went full in, wanting to push whatever weight I had (none) onto my chest, and I... plunged. I was in the body again, wide awake now, shaking like a leaf and ready to cry. I was so panicked, I had a hard time believing I was actually alive. I was looking at my arms still unsure if I was dreaming or awake. I texted the only friend I knew I'd find up at that hour to confirm that they were getting my texts and I was real. I did start crying when I started explaining to them of how I "dreamed" I was dead. I had no other way to explain it to myself, let alone another person. That was the scariest experience of my life. I was afraid to go back to sleep. I kept my friend up with me for longer than an hour just talking to me so I could come back to my senses. I was legitimately afraid that if I close my eyes and fall asleep, I'll lose my body again. That I would die for real now. Then I settled to this being "another chance" (lol now) and I swore I'll fix my sleeping habits (because they lead me to death LOL again)

If you want more technical info on my experience with astral projecting: I could see but not as clear as I see with my eyes. The images were blurry but not blurry enough to not know where I was or what I was seeing, but blurry enough to not be able to tell if the body was breathing, hence the extra panic. (I've read that the more you do it, the better it gets and you end up seeing normally/clearly) You can check out Bob Monroe's journey with astral projection if it's something you're interested in. I can only explain it as floating in the air, I could go down or go up, change the perspective of my sight in whichever way I wanted. Body is on the ground so you know, perspective is quite limited from it. My angle was from above but I had a wider range of perspectives.

Back to the point, body dies. Personality is left. You are left with 'yourself'. But what is 'yourself' is only an idea you made up about yourself. An idea that you were born, had this body, developed this personality, and that is you. What're you gonna do now when there's no world and no body to interact with? Why stay like this when there's no one to know what you were before? You stay like this because you're attached to this personality. But being like this in nothing will get boring, eventually, so boring that you will be willing to lose this you have now to be something/someone else because it's the only entertainment you have. So you become another person, and another, and another... so many you are attached to none any more and they're just experiences YOU want to have. WELL WHO IS YOU IF YOU CAN ADD ANOTHER PERSONALITY ONTO IT?

Free will and "real" life

The free will of the character is so limited it's none. The extent of Ada's free will in making decisions goes "Yeah, I'll break up with Joe and get with Rowan. Rowan is a better fit for me because my personality is this and his is that and we go well together yada yada" Who's to say Harry wouldn't have been an even better fit, but she had no choice because she only knew Joe and Rowan. TRANSLATION: character only makes do with what it has. It's all it can do. Making choices in a play you're a part of doesn't change the overall destiny (Have you ever played any of those 'choose your story' games? They give you the illusion that the choice you make alters the character's life, when in reality most is decided already and you're making no dent in the plot). And yes, it's true that I can change the beliefs Ada has, therefore alter the plot (what manifesting mostly is), but it's a very hard process, conditioning an already extremely limited and conditioned thing. I can change her destiny only if I manage to change her beliefs (which are usually very strong and egos are very stubborn). Past is remembered all the time so whenever I try to make a change in her thinking the reasoning part of her brain goes "But HOW can I suddenly be lucky when all my life I've had bad luck? It's just very hard to believe." And it is, and she is right. And then you think you're weak minded for not being able to do it.

Listen. Your brain is a very limited thing. It stores memories and habits of this body and that's all it knows.

Mind (is synonymous with consciousness!) contains all, every conception, but identifies itself with one in particular for the duration of the play. The brain is the mind of that character, and all the character knows.

BLIND FAITH IS STUPID.

If Vanessa isn't naive or easily trusting, that girl is never gonna take some stranger's word for it that she can change her life by thinking she's gorgeous and powerful all of a sudden. She will try and try (to recondition herself and do what she's been told that works) but she doesn't really believe because she doesn't see it so nothing comes of it. Changes are small, mindset might be better (she may be overall happier depending on the amount of reconditioning of her brain she managed to do, or she goes insane and her mental health is even worse because she's always finding things to change with herself, trying and trying and trying in this never ending cycle of being better, doing more). Basically, Vanessa is doomed either way and she has limited power even when she thinks she's the shit. "Trust in God, I AM, your higher self!", "Have faith and it will work!" Well, I, as Ada, can't. I am very stubborn you see. I can't believe in waiting bringing me stuff about. Who's this higher self anyway, why is it making me wait and have faith? What's this law with its blind faith, except remastered religion?

Enough. What you are, you see. You are Vanessa or Lara, okay, you are because you believe you are. And you're right! It's true, you are, your eyes are working fine and your life might be hell 😍 what do you have to lose if YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND and think "What if I wasn't?" Streams and floods of better ideas of what you could've been/could be come through, don't they? "That's so nice if it were true🥺" Alrightie then! That must be the solution, no? Not be Vanessa? Well how do I stop being Vanessa? How (the big HOW!!) do you know you are Vanessa except by your belief that you are Vanessa? 🤷‍♀️ To know a different thing you must stop thinking this one is true first? "Got it, it's not!", "But even if it's not me I am seeing her life and her 'reality'?", "I am unaffected by the events now, but how do I stop seeing them?" Are you, though? You sure it has nothing to do with you anymore? Fine I'll take your word for it ☺️ Now start thinking you're a different thing. BUT THE SAME EVENTS OF HER LIFE HAPPEN?! Really, how so? World has no standing except for your thought of it, be honest with yourselves, not me. I'll reenact what you're doing.

"Ada, your depression is not real. Your house is not real. Your parents are not real." "Yes, they are, I see them!", "Don't invalidate my experience, I have TRAUMA😠" that's how the convo goes. Then you get disinterested in the convo, "Alright I'm tired of your problems, not me". And you feel lighter, you feel better. You soothed your mind for the time being, there's no big feelings now that you don't identify yourself with her...

For a while, because then something happens and you still believe it's there and it's real and you have to somehow deal with it. You're back confusing the 'you' with Vanessa. "I'm seeing the parents and the world again, that must mean I did it wrong?" I need to ask, seek more. Where do I go from this? WOULD YOU CARE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT, SEEING THE SAME WORLD TOMORROW, IF YOU REALLY DISBELIEVED VANESSA IS YOU OR YOUR BUSINESS? WOULD YOU CARE, I ask you.

"I don't care... but what do I do next, I'm lost🥺"

"Of course I care!!! I want a better life!!!" Who's you?, you go back to the beginning of the post again, you especially read it five times more actually.

To answer the first:

Think what you want.

Past doesn't come up anymore, memories don't come up anymore after you've ignored - detached yourself enough. They just don't. You can think freely now about being something different. If you can't, don't get mad, don't blame, only know that the one that's doubting isn't you, so the doubts are totally fine to be. They'll be for a while and then they dissolve too, because by ignoring, not getting involved - you forget. And by forgetting not only do you free up so much mental space, but possibilities of what can be become unnumbered.

All you are doing is becoming lucid. Becoming able to control the dream. You won't be able to, unless you step out of it. That is, stop thinking this story you tell yourself is true. You won't be able to get mad, sad, or even frustrated at whatever is playing in front of you, because to be involved to this extent you have to think you're it, it's an actual thing "you" are going through. That's not to say you'll become an emotionless robot (the only thing unlimited abt you guys rn is your worries, so much that i have to address them in advance), but that you will feel your emotion in the present and not remain mentally scarred by it forever. You will be able to say "alright, no more" when you've had your fill of crying, being angry, throwing a fit. Emotions won't be able to rule you anymore, right now, they fully do. You are their prisoner. Your ego dominates you so completely.

When Vanessa is no longer all you are, you'll be able to 'change reality' the way you change the film in a video projector. You'll be able to have as much fun in the play as you want to, change it when you no longer want this one specifically. The emotions of the character are fun and welcomed, because they no longer imprison you, there's the background of love to it all - that once you gain, it can't be lost, it's ever present.

okay, so you woke up today and you STILL don't see your results in the 3d. you have to understand that it does not matter. it doesn't matter if you were manifesting clear skin but you woke up today and you still have pimples. think of it like this:

you walk into a store and see two prada bags. the first one is the dupe, something that's just a copy of the original prada bag. but the second one is the original, iconic prada bag. and guess what, you got lucky: the original is free.

it's the same for manifesting. why would you put so much worth onto the 3d when you could get the original, imagination? the 3d is just a copy. imagining doesn't even take any effort!

'yea yea i get it star, but i wanna experience it in the 3d!!'

"you want to be free of desire and fulfilled with how it makes you feel, which you don’t need the 3D for. the 3d can never fulfill you at all. that's how you drop the idea of manifesting for the 3D." - @stateswscarlet

what scarlet is saying is that you don't need it in the 3D. continuing the analogy of the prada bag that i used earlier, the original is better.

First off, realize you are never not it. We are actually fully realized all the time. We are fully realized Beings saying that we are not. So all we do is let go of “we are not” and what's left over is the fully realized Being that we are.

Second, if you're able to understand it intellectually but not able to use it, it's because you're not looking at yourself honestly, truthfully, with deep desire to see your Self, in the process of which you have set up as the subconscious mind all the things you will not look at.

However, it's not necessary to dig up this unconscious mind, in fact it's much better to try to quiet the mind. When we're able to get the mind totally quiet, what's left over is the infinite Self. Every thought is a thing of limitation. Therefore when we quiet the mind, we still these limiting thoughts and this infinite Being that we are becomes self obvious to us. The Self is then not occluded by the limiting thoughts! We see It, we recognize that we never were that mind, that body, and from that moment on, the mind and body have no influence upon us. We determine for the body as we would a puppet and it has no effect upon us, as a puppet that we would be controlling would have no effect upon us.

If you want a "method", then the very best method of all methods is to quiet the mind to see the Being that you are. Pose the question: “Who am I?” and if other thoughts come in, ask, “To whom are these thoughts?” The answer is “To me.” “Well, who am I?” and you're back on the track, seeking to see your Self.

''Who am I?” is the final question that everyone answers, so why not begin with the final question?

There are two ways of growing: one is what I call the negative way, eliminating the negative, going into the mind, seeing the cause of the problem that originated in a thought some time in the past. When we see this thought, when we bring it up into consciousness, we naturally let go of it. We see how silly it is to hold onto it and therefore correct that thought and behavior.

However, the other way is better. It is the positive way. Quiet the mind and see who and what you really are, the infinite Self, pure Awareness. In the over all, there's really only two ways: eliminating the negative and the better, putting in the positive, “I am that I am,” “I am It.” The latter is by far the faster.

Let's now take a look at this so-called apparency, the world. The world is only an illusion that we created mentally. It is not external but in reality within us, within our mind. Someday you'll discover that you created this entire universe that you see. The method of creating is by first creating what we call a mind. We create our mind, which is nothing but a composite of all our thoughts, conscious and subconscious, and the thoughts create the material world. Every little thing that happens to each and everyone of us is created in our thinking. We mentally set up a thing called time which makes it even more difficult to see things because we think now and things happen years later. But the only creator there is, is the mind, your mind.

So now you discover that you created your trouble, then you discover that you can create anything you desire. After you discover that there is nothing that you cannot create, you're still unhappy. The reason is that you have separated yourself from the all that is.

You say you realize you are Awareness but you still "lack" things

If there are any problems that remain, they only remain because you are holding onto them in thought. The moment you let go of them, they are gone! If you tell me that isn't so for you, that isn't true. The truth is you're still holding onto them, telling me that it doesn't work. Now trying to get rid of a problem is holding onto it. Anything we try to get rid of we are holding in mind and thereby sustaining that problem. So the only way to correct a problem is to let go of it. See not the problem, see only what you want. If you would only from this moment on see what you want that is all that you would get. But you hold in mind the things you do not want. You struggle to eliminate the things you don't want, thereby sustaining them.

Now the very highest state is simply Beingness, and if we could only be, just be, we could see our Infinity. We would see that there are no limitations. We would see that we are the All. We would be in a perfectly satiated, permanent, changeless state. And it is not a nothingness, it is not a boredom, it is an Allness, an Everythingness, a Total Satiation that is eternal. You will never, never lose your individuality. The word “I” as you use it to mean your individuality will never ever leave you. It expands. What happens as you re-remember what you are is that you'll begin to see that others are you, that you are me, that you are now and always have been gloriously Infinite.

This subject cannot be learned intellectually, it cannot be learned through the mind because it's perceived just behind the mind. We can use the mind to gradually undo the limitations enough so that we can get behind the mind by getting it quieter. If it were possible to get this subject through the mind intellectually, all we would need to do is to read the books on it and we would have it. But it doesn't work that way. We have to very concentratedly dwell upon our Self that is just behind the mind. Turn the mind back upon the mind to discover what the mind is, and then go beyond the mind to the Self. So to get this subject, each one must experience it, realize it, make it real by going to the place just behind the mind and perceiving it there.

If you examine thoroughly the mind, you will discover that it isn't, it's an illusion. Let it go its way, just watch the mind. The ultimate witness is the Self. It's a tremendous thing to watch the mind. Not only does it quiet it, it makes the mind not you. If you trace the source of the mind, you find it is nothingness. This whole world is a dream illusion, which means that it isn't!

Unlimited joy is our natural, inherent state which we have, through ignorance, undone by imposing concepts of limitations. Anytime we have trouble, anytime we have a problem, we're being the limited ego. We’re trying to express the Self through the limited ego, and it's too small, we get squeezed and it hurts. If you'll just accept that you are not that, that what you are is God, Awareness -- and God is All, God is Perfect, that's all you'll ever meet with!

I'll be honest , I keep re reading you're posts in hoping that something will finely "clic" for me , maybe that's why I didn't progress , because I don't understand anything and I feel like am wasting my life .

If I understood , the one writing this , the one being confused , the one thinking isn't me but Vanessa right ?? Even if i feel like I'm not convinced but this statement , the one thinking it isn't me but vanessa ?? How about the world ?? You said being in denial isn't good , but my world is not the way I want it to be , when I open my eyes , should I deny what I see as the truth ?? Or do I accept it as long as I know I'm not it ?? Also how am I supposed to interact with my world ?

One thing that really bothers me is : do I have to endure the world while I know my self as awareness and disbelieve that I am Vanessa ??? Like right now I am not her right ?? But I still experience the bad things that she experiences herself . I am not her yet I can see her , what's even more confusing is that everything is supposed to be instant right ? But even when I tell myself that I am not Vanessa, I still see her desires and fears , that must means I still think that I am her ??? What am I supposed to do ?? Nothing since I am everything and nothing .. but why is my world still like Vanessa's world ?? I feel like I'm going crazy ( it's Vanessa thinking this not me ) honestly I Want to ask you some advice , but I know damn well that there is already the answer in all of your posts , I just can't understand it perhaps .

Over all , thank you for being here and guiding us , such a kind soul to do it for nothing in return , I wish you the best .

You are confused because you overconsumed, you overthought. Your being is literally the simplest, most effortless thing. What are you searching for? Can you search for the fact that you are? First, you exist. Second, you exist as somebody. But you exist, and existing only happens now. There is nothing to search for, there is just life to be lived.

Now, disclaimer. My tone is always one of a little bit of a tough mom, because that's what I was personally needing and wishing for when I was lost, for someone to tell it to me straight, without sparing my feelings, not for someone to cradle me but for someone to wake me up. And although you guys might hate me (at least in the moment) for sounding harsh and hurting your egos, speaking to you like babies who need to be comforted would mean I don't trust the fact that you can handle yourselves or even do it/be independent in the first place, which I find more offensive and hurtful.

The point of this all was to let go of concepts, let go of believing in things, investigating their validity, experimenting. This is long so I will answer the main points.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her?

You have that aha moment and then you fall back into your old thinking patterns, you forget so you get fearful again. You get super emotionally involved in the character again. There is nothing wrong with the character in itself, not even with its fears and desires. Yes as Vanessa, I want. Yes, as Vanessa, I'm scared. But so what? Isn't it such an interesting play when you know Vanessa is not all you are? When you know yourself as the actor and not her? By god it's so fun to play as her, even if she's lacking in so many things! You don't see it because you still think there's no way out of the play, but all is fun when you finally let go of thinking you = body.

Do not try to understand any more, just be. And let other things be as they are. Even if you're not happy about what you see, there is no way around it besides accepting it. As long as you fight it and try so hard & incessantly to change it, you're only giving it further reality.

Unless you are able to accept Vanessa and love her as she is, just allowing her being as she is-- you won't reach that moment of "Oke, that was fun. But I changed my mind now." A shift in perspective and attitude has to take place before the person and world can change.

It is not a matter of enduring, it is a matter of you being so crude to Vanessa, and expecting so much of her when she has no power. Do you feel the same way about the homeless man on the street corner? Do you constantly chastise him in your head, blame him for his circumstances? Even if you are the kind of person to judge based on appearances, you do for a moment and move on with your life. That's because you never thought he was you so how could you feel pain on his behalf? You may do the opposite and feel bad for his situation for a bit, but you still leave the matter alone as he's none of your business and you have your own things to worry about.

"Do I have to endure the world while I know my self as awareness and disbelieve that I am Vanessa???" THE POINT OF KNOWING YOURSELF AS AWARENESS IS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT AT ALL TIMES, FOREVER. It's complete, incomparable freedom and power. It's the only real love.

You never actually 'knew' it, you intellectualized it and continued to look for ways to satisfy Vanessa's desires. You never went there.

Get back to the basics. Nothing you are conscious of can be you, so who are you? No more reading posts and more acting in what you've already read.

Using tarot with loa

Ive been making post describing how i would intpret cards using loa terminology or concepts but i havent made a post explaining how tarot interacts with loa. If any other blogger has made a post on this i apologize if its repetive.

I also want to say that it doesnt matter what you want to call the phenomenon that is loa. To me, it reflects beleifs that have been held for centuries about god, conciousness and reality , but today many people learn about this phenomenon through the terminology of law of assumption so i don't mind calling it that either.

What is tarot

Tarot is a pack of 78 cards designed for divination. the classic rider deck was made by Author Edward Waite and illustrated by Pamela Cole Smith in the early 20th century, most decks created today are based off this deck. in the creation of the deck, Pamela was inspired by esoteric and pyschic visions as well as things in her real life. Waite also incorporated many concepts from religion and esoterisim into the cards, many cards have references to the kabbalah, astrology, manifestion, spell work, color symbolisim, numerology etc. The cards aren't random, meaningless pictures as some people have asserted, anyone who says that is usually to lazy to learn it so they project their lack of knowledge onto the cards.

☆★☆ Even though tarot has a system of meanings and symbolism attached to the cards, this system is very flexible and you can apply any lense onto the cards. Let's say you were a Christian using tarot; maybe you would interpret judgement to be about repentance, seeking forgiveness and holding yourself accountable. Maybe you would interpret ace of cups as holiness, purity, miracles. Tarot conforms to whatever lense you apply to the cards.

Tarot very easily conforms to the lense of loa because it already explores concepts of conciousness, states of mind, manifestion, reality. It's just a matter of applying what you know to the cards. As I've said in my tarot series, 4 of cups can represent someone not placing emphasis on undesirable things in your reality, and shifting your focus intenrally. The heirophant can represent guides, teachers, coaches, stubborn beliefs, the 9 of cups represents living in the wish fullfilled. Etc.

These interpretations don't stray from the orginal tarot meanings but give them more depth. applying the lense in which resonates with what you believe the most to tarot cards helps you understand what they mean to you personally.

Let's also address the question of whether or not tarot can predict your future.

Yes and no. It can predict what will happen, but not always. The future is not defined by tarot, the future is created by what you do in the present. Sometimes tarot will warn you or pass on information about what will happen if you continue in the state you're in. For example, I once kept getting cards warning me that I was going to have money stolen from me from a female figure who was a pisces. A few weeks later, my mother (who is a pisces) stole 50 dollars from me, I found out because I pulled the 7 of swords AGAIN and when I checked my purse my money was gone, my mom had spent it. If I listened to the warning and understood what it was saying weeks prior, i could have hidden my money and changed my reality. Soo here's my offical answer:

Tarot spontaneously gives glimpses into the future based on what you are doing now.

But for the most part, you can use tarot to reflect subconcious beliefs, what state you're in, what message you need to hear, etc it's best used as a tool to reflect your intenral world back to you because remmeber, the best way to predict the future is to create it

Now I know that tarot is just telling me what state I am in and because of my knowledge of the law, I can change anything immediately. So I've been using it way less.

Vanessa = ego (current 'self')

Ego = awareness conditioned into a person (both body and mind)

Lara = new identity (still an ego!)

Sandra = who you wish you were (basically same as Lara)

Brad = I AM (awareness of being)

*Body is in the mind.

*World is in the mind.