zoop zorp

shane gets into a scrum where someone drags him down to the ice by his collar and doesn't let go and he ends up w a ragged neck bruise and near whiplash. and he's staring at the growing dark puce line of the bruise in the locker room mirror post shower. launching himself at his phone. texting with shaking hands: be fucking ready

lily replies in less than a minute: where is it

lily: pic

jane: i'm in the fucking locker room. just. be ready. 40 minutes

lily: pic.

lily: pic pic pic

jane: fuck's sake

lily: no. my sake. now.

jane: [shitty bathroom stall picture of the bruising blooming around the base of his neck]

lily: i kill sebby for this

lily: i fuck you in this stall bare

lily: bite until your blood drip on floor

and shane knocks his head against the stall door and reaches down --

lily: do not jerk off.

shane groans and grips himself.

lily: no.

lily: my sake only

and shane lets go and gets the hell out of dodge and to ilya's house for his (and ilya's) just desserts (sucking, fucking, bloodletting).

Like, neither of them understands fully the BDSM dynamics they're working with. It absolutely works for them but they don't have the language or set parameters or any of that. It's vibes all the way down.

Shane has that man STRESSED. Poor Ilya is going to have to learn SO much about this shit because Shane's just like "so... what if 🤔 you chased me naked in the woods and then when you caught me you could do whatever you wanted with me? 3, 2, 1 - go🏃🏻!"

Ilya's frantically googling "okay to chase boyfriend in woods and fuck him? reddit" with one hand while pulling on his shoes to run out after him

Shane asks about bondage one day and Ilya thinks he means like cuffs instead of Ilya just holding his wrists down while they fuck and is like “hot, absolutely.” And then two weeks later, Shane’s spontaneously invented the idea of Shibari and suspension harnesses

Ilya's like "WAIT HOLD UP HOLLANDER 🙅🏼 I am on refugee status still, I cannot accidentally kill you" frantically googles "suspension harness without killing boyfriend reddit"

Shane just, of his own accord, starts holding Ilya’s dick in his mouth after blowing him bc he likes how it feels and the way Ilya’s hand stays in his hair. With his other hand, Ilya is frantically googling “sub not wanting to stop blowjob sign of subdrop reddit”

He can't find a good enough answer so he finally posts in r/BDSMcommunity (burner account, of course) "Sub fell asleep cockwarming, okay to move? Urgent ask."

And then like a week later, after some very deep reddit rabbit holes and a few mostly helpful comment threads on the post he made, Ilya has to sit Shane down and be like “you are not only person who likes to keep a cock warm but we probably need to talk about parameters if we are going to keep doing it”

Something something, sometime after Shane moves to Ottawa, he starts accidentally-on-purpose wearing Ilya’s ties into the arena for player arrivals. Ilya jokingly suggests he’s going to start making Shane wear them in bed since he likes them so much, and Shane practically starts vibrating

A few more frantic reddit posts later, r/BDSM has kindly pointed Ilya in the direction of collars and also asked him, yet again, where on earth he managed to find this guy

Someone asks how open their relationship is

"just shooting my shot 👀"

"Shoot somewhere else before I shoot first"

Ilya, however, never quite got the hang of it. He knows a lot of his teammates nap whenever and wherever, falling asleep before games in hotel rooms or resting up on the road, snores filling the team bus or plane, but Ilya can't quite get there. It's probably a remnant from childhood, from not feeling safe enough to let his guard down like that. He can't even imagine what the reaction would have been if his father had come home to find him asleep on the couch. He was certainly quick enough to accuse him of laziness without Ilya handing over additional ammunition for free.

But Ilya loves holding Shane when he naps. He loves how quickly his body grows lax, loves the gradual shift in the depth of his breaths, loves the warmth of his body pressed against him, loves his sleepy little sounds and scrunched little face when he wakes up, loves that Shane trusts him enough to be that vulnerable around him. Shane doesn't really know that Ilya doesn't nap, not with how often Ilya's the one to suggest one, not with the way Ilya makes sure to feign coming out of sleep as soon as he feels Shane shift in his arms in that particular way that suggests he's waking up. He doesn't want to risk Shane feeling like Ilya's doing him a favour with holding him through his naps, doesn't know whether he can admit how much he loves their naps even though they never include Ilya falling asleep. He likes the way things are. He doesn't want to risk it changing.

Yes absolutely he is becoming a PWHL coach. He’s doing constant promotional work to expand the league and its audience and doing interviews where he talks shit about all the creeps and losers in and running the NHL. “if me and my husband, Shane Hollander, had been female hockey players, we would have been criminally under paid and almost entirely ignored despite our epic love story. These women take their jobs incredibly seriously and play outstanding hockey. Of course some of them want to kiss each other. Would happen more in the NHL if the vile behavior of some players was not both tolerated and supported by teammates, coaches, and administrators.”

His players love him, the owners don’t understand his methods but can’t argue with results, and the NHL is actively pursuing their second defamation lawsuit against him even as they are actively trying to prevent Luca from doing public appearances with his new husband.

Now that they have his undivided attention, Shane becomes a regular guest commentator for PWHL games (never for Ilya’s team though, he’s in the stadium for those generally) and becomes a highly regarded figure for many PWHL fans.

After one inconsequential game, a reporter asks about what Coach Theriault and Hayden think of the future of hockey with their former star player playing with his husband. Theriault says some shitty PR nothing answer laced with so much disdain that Hayden just. can't. take. anymore.

Obviously his team wants him to shit-talk his best friend and de facto brother-in-law who happen to be playing the best hockey of a generation (he will never let Ilya know he thinks this). The reporter obviously is chomping at the bit for a "dissension in the locker room" story that will make his life even more miserable. So, fuck the both of them.

"and how about you Hayden, what do you think about the future of hockey with Hollander and Rozanov?"

"Well, I think they should get on having kids, like surrogacy or adoption of something"

Dead silence, the reporter blinks in confusion. He can feel the glare coming off Theriault burning into the side of his face. He doesn’t turn his head and blithely goes on.

“Yeah, specifically 3 girls. I have 3 girls so if they have 3 girls, we’d have a whole hockey team to start in the pee-wees and get to the PWHL. My Ruby would obviously be a defender. She’d spend her whole life in the box, but she'd be such a good enforcer, especially if she was playing with her sisters.  Jade is sneaky fast, so forward for her. And I know Amber is a baby, but I swear she’s got goalie eyes. My son Arthur is already the peacemaker of the family, so Uncle Shane could start training him up on all the rules so he can be our ref. But Shane and Ilya would have to get themselves another defender and a right or left wing with a center. Yep, that’s the future in hockey I’d love to see with Hollander and Rozanov”

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

"Hey, so, uhh...," he hesitates. Ilya raises an eyebrow. Shane hadn't seemed this nervous around him since last summer.

"Everything okay?"

"Yea. Yea, everything's great. I just, well, I know you're only here for a couple of weeks but I wondered if you'd be ok with spending some time with my parents," Shane looked away how he always did when he was nervous.

Ilya's heart melted a bit.

"I mean. You can say no. I know we don't have a lot of time just the two of us. It's just that my dad and I have a tradition. We go fishing every summer and we didn't go last year so I thought maybe-"

"Of course we can Hollander."

"Really? I mean, we don't have to if you'd rather us stay here. I know we don't get to spend a lot of time together and if you'd rather just do something else we can. I won't be upset or anyth-"

"Hollander, is fine. We will go," Ilya says. Shane grins at him and they start planning their day out fishing with David. Shane packs snacks and gear while Ilya sends him different iterations of the "women want me, fish fear me" tiktok. Shane ignores all of them.

The next day they pull up to David and Yuna's cottage midmorning. David is already outside packing a tackle box with various lures.

"Hey, boys," he greets them. They spend a few moments talking about the weather and Shane tells his dad about the new rod he had bought. Yuna pops her head out the front door, she's wearing very fancy looking silk pajamas.

"David, where did you put my foot spa," she calls. Ilya looks at Shane, confused. Shane just shrugs. David sighs.

"Come help me," he says quietly to Shane, "I think it's in the hall closet behind the Christmas stuff."

The three of them make their way into the house. Shane and David head for the hallway, leaving Yuna and Ilya standing in the living room. There was a bit of an awkward silence, they hadn't spoken all that much since last summer when they had met. So instead of saying anything, Ilya looks around and sees various chocolates, a bottle of wine, charcuterie board, a face mask kit, and a pedicure set.

Yuna sees him looking at everything and says, "fishing has always been Shane and David's thing. And you couldn't pay me enough to sit on the lake all day so I've always just had myself a little spa day when they go."

Ilya nodded and was instantly jealous. In truth, he did not want to go fishing. He had only agreed for Shane's sake. He didn't want to take him away from his family. He glanced down the hall and then back at the table.

Shane and David reemerged from the hallway then, carrying the foot spa.

"Is that all you need from us," David asked.

"I think so, thank you," Yuna replied.

"Ready to head out," David asked, turning to Shane.

"Yep," he replied, "ready Ilya?"

Ilya dutifully followed them towards the door, but glanced back one more time towards Yuna who was following them to the door.

"Boys," she said as they reached the door, "I think you two need to have some time by yourselves. Just the two of you. How about you leave Ilya here."

Shane looked a little surprised. Ilya tried his very best not to look relieved. He wanted to hug Yuna at that moment for saving him from a day of touching worms.

"Mom, I can't just leave Ilya here," Shane protested.

"What you don't trust me? Think I'll scare him away?"

"Well, no, but what's he going to do all day? If he goes back home he'll just be by himself. I can't make him do that."

"Shane, he doesn't have to go home. He can stay here."

Shane's face scrunched up in that confused look Ilya loved so much, "here?"

Yuna laughed, "yes. Here. He can have a spa day with me."

"I don't think he'd want to do your whole spa day thing, Mom."

"Oh, just because you can't relax enough to enjoy it doesn't mean he can't. Just go. He'll be fine here."

Ilya thought it was amusing how they were talking about him as if he wasn't standing right next to them. Like they were fighting over who got to hang out with him.

"I can stay," Ilya said, speaking for the first time since they arrived. "Is fine. This is for you and your dad. I can stay here, I don't mind."

Shane looked conflicted for a moment but nodded. He fished his car keys out of his pocket and handed them to Ilya, "just in case you wanted to go back home." Yuna rolled her eyes.

Once David and Shane had left, Yuna led Ilya to the couch. Where they chose their respective spots and Yuna explained that she usually watched old movies but if Ilya wanted to watch something else they could. He didn't, so they started with Sixteen Candles. They snacked on the chocolates and charcuterie while Yuna applied Ilya's face mask. She set up her foot spa and they relaxed for a while in silence other than the movie.

They started chatting a little, mostly about hockey and Shane. Ilya asked Yuna what Shane was like as a child and she told him stories of a Shane that used to run off every time they went anywhere.

"I bought a leash! I was too afraid to use it. I thought people would think we were horrible, but he just kept bolting every chance he got," she said while laughing.

Around noon, Yuna opened the wine and put on Dirty Dancing. They kept chatting about nothing in particular and more hockey. Ilya was enjoying talking to her about hockey. He was surprised by her knowledge and understanding, it rivaled Svetlana's.

When Dirty Dancing ended, she put on Steel Magnolias and grabbed another bottle of wine. By the end of it she and Ilya were more than a little Tipsy and both were sniffling messes.

And this was the Yuna and Ilya that Shane and David came back to. The movie had ended, the credits were rolling, and the two of them were sniveling and talking about how unfair it all was.

"Steel Magnolias," David said to Shane solemnly. Shane nodded.

It took some convincing to get Ilya into the car, but eventually he was situated in the passenger's seat. Shane waved goodbye to his parents on their porch and climbed in.

"Did you have fun today," he asked Ilya.