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To Ilya, Shane is the funniest, sexiest, bitchiest and downright FREAKIEST person he knows. He tells everyone he knows this, yet for some reason no one seems to believe him. His husband is such an asshole, and Ilya loves him for it.

cliff’s sister gets engaged to a woman. some of the raiders are shitty about it, so ilya figures it’s a good time to tell cliff he’s bisexual.

and cliff is like — bro. sometimes I think I might be into guys too? but the thing is, guys never come onto him and girls always do, so he just figures that, like, the market’s decided for him. he must not be hot to men. he shouldn't pursue it.

ilya feels bad. they never talk about serious shit, but he doesn’t want his friend to shut down this part of himself. so he says that cliff is hot, actually. plenty of men would like cliff!

cliff’s eyes go wide and wet, like he’s so fucking touched, man, like nobody’s said anything that nice to him since dunkin' named him their dunk hunk of the year three years ago.

and shit, ilya has never been good at resisting puppydog eyes and they’re both a little buzzed, so when cliff asks if maybe they can kiss so he can just see—

centaurs 🐎​🏒​💪​😤​

Bood: hey @ Luca Haas

Bood: it’s so cute you thought you could just text me direct about this 

Bood: want to share your question with the class 👀

Luca: ☹️

LaPointe: weird choice to ask for sex tips @ Luca Haas but go off ig

Bood: “weird choice”????? 

LaPointe: straight????

Bood: you know what fair

Bood: but let’s focus on the real issue here

Bood: go on @ Luca Haas, ask them what you asked me

Bood: assistant captain’s orders

Ilya: assistant captains cannot give orders

Ilya: more like suggestions

Ilya: requests

Shane: @ Ilya Rozanov I assistant captain order you to hang your laundry out, it’s starting to smell bad.

Holmberg: lmao

Ilya: @ Shane Hollander fine i will do this but because it is sexy husband order NOT because it is assistant captain order

Ilya: now @ Luca Haas

Ilya: tell us what you tried to tell bood in secret

Ilya: real captain’s orders 😉

Luca: FINE

Luca: @ Zane Boodram is it ok if I bring my boyfriend to your BBQ next week?

Luca: He’s visiting from Boston

LaPointe: hold the fuck up

Holmberg: BOYFRIEND

Bood: 👀

Ilya: luca you have a secret boyfriend???

Ilya: @ Shane Hollander and i raised you so well 

Bood: somebody call hayden pike there’s still time to get a fanmail of you and him at the BBQ making out @ Luca Haas

Shane: @ Zane Boodram too soon, dude.

Bood: 🤐

Ilya: shut up about fucking pike i want answers

Ilya: @ Luca Haas what is his name

Ilya: what are his prospects

Ilya: what are his intentions

Ilya: can he fight

LaPointe: “can he fight” lol roz are you trying to steal haas from him or what

Ilya: what

Ilya: no 

Ilya: have you seen @ Shane Hollander

Ilya: why would i do that

Ilya: i mean i will fight him if he hurts you @ Luca Haas

Luca: Thanks?

Young: @ Luca Haas answer the questions we’re nosy

Luca: You can ask him yourself 

Luca: On Thursday

Young: booooo

Bood: i got you at least for question 1 @ Ilya Rozanov 

Bood: haasy dropped the name when he first texted me to ask 

Bood: secret boston boy’s name is cliff

LaPointe: omg lol can you imagine

LaPointe: luca brings his mystery man along next week for the hard launch

LaPointe: and it’s cliff fucking marleau

LaPointe: now that would really be a hollander/rozanov manoeuvre lmao    

* 

Ilya: marly 

Cliff: brooooooo

Cliff: what’s up roz

Cliff: miss u stud 🥵🥵 it’s been too long! 

Ilya: marly

Ilya: i’m only going to ask this once

Ilya: are you having sex with my rookie?

Cliff: you mean luca? 

Cliff: hell yeah brother!!! 

Cliff: luca wanted to wait to tell you in person

Cliff: i think he’s kind of scared of you 🤣

Cliff: i was like relax kid rozy’s my boyyy

Cliff: he’ll get it!!! 

Cliff: in fact bro it’s really all thanks to you honestly

Cliff: and not just because we met at your wedding

Cliff: but i mean i feel like real talk over the years u really opened my eyes

Cliff: like i never would have even thought of it u know

Cliff: but being gay is kind of sick 

Cliff: like a dude just really knows his way around another dude

Cliff: knows how to work with it all if u get me 

Cliff: lol of course u get me i know what u and hollzy are like 🤣🤣🤣

Cliff: but also it’s like

Cliff: when i was hooking up with chicks it was always a bit like damn what’s she really thinking 

Cliff: whereas with luca it’s like

Cliff: i know what you’re thinking bc ur my boyyyy 😍

Cliff: just like ur my boy 

Cliff: my king 👑👑👑

Cliff: seriously man i can’t wait to see u in ottawa next week

Cliff: we should hit the clubbbbbb

Cliff: tho honestly i don't really do that so much since luca locked me down 🔑🔒

Cliff: but u know what i mean it’s like an expression bro

Cliff: like we can hit the club in our hearts

Cliff: but just chill at your place

Cliff: whatever ur feeling dude

Cliff: chill is probably better for me anyway

Cliff: need to save some of that energy for luca if u know what i’m saying 🤣🍆💦

Ilya: marly

yes i swallowed the luca haas x cliff marlow pill

And then he becomes obsessed with Ilya so he asks Marly about him but is clocked immediately, and he tries to lie but can't do so in person for the life of him so, his crush is revealed and Cliff just has to laugh bc ofc that'd be his type and now he has to half jokingly threaten to disembowel Ilya if he hurts Shane on purpose.

Then he has to give Shane a lecture on being honest with himself and the talk he's pretty sure his parents didn't think to include in the birds & bees one they gave him as a teen.

So he's there through Hollanov's highs and lows and is very pleased when it only takes them five years to get their shit together and admit they like each other. He's already been dragging Shane with him whenever they're in the same place so no one's surprised at the Voyageur hanging with Bears, and Hollanov are able to soft launch on their own terms over the years.

Cliff is able to help Ilya convince Shane to move to Boston before Ottawa even becomes a thought, and Shane isn't even all that fussed bc he'd love to be on the same team with both of his guys.

Shane: can't i really need to finish this essay

Ilya: whats it on maybe i can help you

I love that he’s allowed to be socially adept and funny and quick witted and sarcastic and empathetic.

I love that his autism is written into moments where he misses subtext, or speaks with a bit of a blank face and monotone.

I love that he’s allowed to be sexual. I love that he’s not just okay with sex, but actively seeks it out, absolutely loves it and is treated like an autonomous sexual being with internality and nuance with sex and intimacy.

I love that he’s not any clear cut, offensive autistic archetype. The closest thing you could assign him to is savant, and even that doesn’t really fit. Shane is so good at hockey because he devotes every day of his life to it, he’s not just magically gifted math hockey powers.

I love that Shane has an overpowering special interest, but it’s not the only thing in his life. I love that he’s fascinated with real estate, that he’s close with his parents and teammates.

I love that he’s allowed to have food or sensory restrictions that don’t manifest as a public breakdown but instead as a preference for ginger ale, soft clothing and a clean house to the casual eye.

I love that he’s shown to have restricted thinking sometimes (being unable to consider coming out, cooking the extra burgers) without him being reduced to a child, unable to communicate or compromise.

I love that his moments of autistic meltdown or overwhelm don’t just look like screaming and crying, but instead as a shutdown at his parents table, or a sharp exit from the Wrong situation, like after the tunamelt.

I love that his autistic moments (like folding the clothes before sex, cooking the extra burgers) are treated by both the directing and other characters as funny and adorable without being infantilised.

I love that Ilya loves Shane so much, not despite his autistic traits, but because of them. I love that Ilya thinks Shane is so adorable and sweet, without it ever compromising how much Ilya also sees Shane as sexy, competent and intelligent.

He counts down the days and as soon as he doesn’t have to worry about russia he starts posting online asking Shane Hollander to pretty please consider him for his next boyfriend and Shane visibly flirts back and people are going crazy because does this mean that the other guy is out of the picture or???

Only they post a picture of them together a few days later that reveals Ilya was the guy all along and the internet explodes

“I can believe I asked Shane Hollander if Ilya Rozanov could fight I just barely escaped with my jaw intact omg”

”sorry I said I was better looking than your boyfriend I have taken my humble medication”

After getting involuntary outed, Shane loses a few endorsement deals. He doesn't really notice at first; of course Yuna told him, but he had way bigger things to worry about than doing fragrance commercial shots, thank you very much.

Ilya and he get married, they honeymoon in Ibiza, they do their hockey camp, Shane signs a deal with Ottawa. The dust settles a bit. Only then he realises that he didn't do an underwear commercial for Manmade, like every summer. And Yuna hasn't pestered him about Reebok for a while.

Shane doesn't really care, he always hated doing these adds and honestly, he made enough money to live comfortable for the rest of his life, so it's whatever.

But...but it's not whatever. Shane does care. It stings. He hates that it still feels like getting punished just for being who he is.

A luxury fragrance brand calls of a deal and at Yuna's inquiry they let Shane know that it doesn't have to do with Shane's sexual orientation (well, because that would be downright illegal to admit but okay), but rather that they don't see how their quite luxury concept and his boulevard paper, attention seeking lifestyle fit together. In other words, the shit show around their coming out was to messy for their liking. Another thing Shane is innocent of, another thing he gets punished for.

Fuck them, Ilya and Yuna say in unison and Shane has to smile again. Seriously. Fuck these companies. He's got everything he needs, everything he wants is just right here. Minus an additional Stanley Cup or two.

Ilya didn't do as many commercials as Shane did, but he lost a deal with Bugatti as well ("Thank fuck I sold that car before I came to Ottawa").

Still, Shane is getting more and more worried, which brands might want to let go of them next. Who really is to trust in that political climate? Which clothes will feel shitty on his skin, knowing the people behind them hate people like Ilya and him? Will they be ostracised forever?

He just waits for the call of Speedo or Under Armour, telling him that they don't want a gay man presenting his package on big billboards.

A few weeks pass, the season starts and Shane really can't worry about endorsement deals right now. He is even more annoyed, when Yuna tells him that there is this marketing guy who wants to talk to Shane directly, but he caves in after the third reminder.

The call leaves Shand actually a bit lightheaded, smiling brightly even. The money is decent but thst absolutely doesn't matter. What does matter was that Ilya and he had to extend their stay in Toronto after their next game.

When Shane tells Ilya about their appointment soon, they both start to laugh, and maybe there are a few tears hidden in it.

A few weeks later, after an easy win against Toronto, they enter the Varsity Arena, hand in hand, more than ready for their second CCM commercial shot together.

The producer Kim greats them enthusiastically, talking about the poetic beauty of doing another shot with the two best hockey players together over ten years after their iconic pre-rookie season shot. Kim quickly explains the concept behind their commercial: They want to fuse old footage and new shots together, emphasing the development of their skills on the ice. "From rivals to husbands. From rookies to legends. Always supported by CCM. With us players become champions."

Shane and Ilya almost burst into giggles again thinking about how supportive CCM, or more likey the showers in this Arena, had been on their way to become husbands indeed.

It is the most fun they both ever had while shooting. Skating as fast as they can, showing of their almost telepathic dream passes, chirping and then battling for the puck, trick shots on the net, celebrating each other's goals.

They let themselves be filmed while trying out every piece of equipment, give comments on different stick flexibilities, show their taping techniques (and teasing each other obviously).

Ilya grows suspicious how patient Shane is with commercial shot, how willingly he is to pose for pictures, participates in games for social media clips. He nudges Shane and  raises one eyebrow, that is question enough.

"CCM launches that campaign everywhere. Instagram. TV spots. Catalogues. In the stores. At games." Shane smiles smugly. "A queer couple, the face of one of the top  hockey equipment brands. Almost every hockey player, from amateur to pro, will see us, one way or another."

"Even in Montreal."

"Even in Montreal", Shane agrees and Ilya

Ilya laughes fondly, he loves when Shane is a menace.

Kim calls it a day, shakes their hands and thanks them for all the amazing footage they got and politely suggest they hit the showers.

They turn towards the lockerroom and Shane blushes. "Maybe you should go shower  first. Considering.... well and I should check...this thing."

"What, are you afraid you can't keep your hands to yourself, Hollander?"

"I'm more afraid you do keep your hands to yourself, Rozanov," Shane winks but he stops at the door in safe distance. "Maybe I go call Mom that the day went well and CCM is actually a good partner."

"Is nice of them, hire us both. Tell Yuna thanks for getting me on the deal, too."

"Oh no. It was my idea."

"What?"

Shane's cheek turn several shades more pink but holds Ilya's gaze. "I told them that I'd only do the commercial together with you."