I just feel so defeated right now. Don’t know what to say to anyone anymore. I’m not okay, it hurts. I had a breakdown. All these sentences can’t seem to do justice to what I feel now. I feel defeated in life, with my body, with the things that have plagued me my entire life. I’m defeated and I can’t get back up. Music isn’t sad enough. Substances aren’t numbing enough. Good things aren’t a thing anymore. The degree of hopeless I exist with isn’t something any person can survive with.

SOOOOO SICK OF BEING ONLINE MAYBE I AM AN ADDICT TO MY PHONE MAYBE THE BOOMERS WERE RIGHT!!!!!!!!! please god please please please let me go to an art museum let me lay in the sun and read a book or something oh my god I am going to KILL MY SELF !!!!!!!!!!!!! #ketodiet #indiefilm #cottagecore #style

i could be being chased by the killer and i'd be like oh man this is so embarrassing i must look like such an idiot right now he's probably judging my silly little run and everything

the fact that I have to be in the “right headspace” to do even the simplest tasks. absolutely humiliating

Wees hard voor mij, maar doe het zacht; ik heb het nodig

not to sound fucked up but i will never be completely at peace until my outer appearance is satisfactory to me