BL Lover ♥

I met you when I was only 23 years old. Do you remember? 2013, the year that changed my life forever. I remember it all too well New. We went from strangers to best friends… It was us against the world. I was so happy when they told us we were going to do a series together. I never imagined that we will become something more than friends. You were my first everything; my first kiss, my first real relationship, my first time, my first heartbreak…

I remember the night we kissed for the first time. We were both tired after filming for almost 24 hours. I was about to call Off so he could pick me up because my car was at the mechanic. You offered me a ride, and when we were about to get to my apartment you told me to sleep in yours because we had an early call; I accepted your offer. I was nervous, not because it was my first time in your apartment, but because it was the first time I was going to spend the night. We were somewhat dating, we knew that we had feelings for one another but we didn’t have a label to our relationship yet. You gave me some clothes to sleep in and when I was about to go and change, you hugged me from the back. I didn’t know what to do, I was in shock… New, do you even know what you cause in me? At that moment, my whole heart my raising to the point I felt I was going to passed out. You turned me around, and right there in the middle of your apartment, we kissed. We kissed not as Pete and Kao, but as Tay and New. That day, we decided to date, to label ourselves as “boyfriends.”

You knew that you were my first real relationship. I was not yours, and I was okay with it. I knew that you dated girls in the past, and that made me feel a little insecure about myself. I was paranoid because I always felt you were going to meet some girl someday and fall in love with her. It is funny how you made me feel so insecure about myself, yet you always made me feel I was the only person you look for in a room. Loving you is easy New, you are a social butterfly. I, on the other hand, don’t open myself to everyone. I never knew what you loved about me. However, it always amazed me how every morning I woke up loving you more and more. I remember our first fight. I went out with Gun, and even though we all were friends, you were jealous that I came home late that night. It was three in the morning, and we were shouting at each other. I realized that I was not the only one getting jealous, that you were also afraid to lose me. This time, in the middle of our living room, I was the one who kissed you, and for the first time in our three months of dating, we made love. 

This leads to you being my first time. I had no experience at all. I was shaking when our kiss went from sweet to passionate. You only had experience with girls, but that night you told me what to do. You let me top you, you let me love you, you let me fuse myself in you. Our first time is one of the memories that I value the most because it shows how much we loved each other. After that, we made love almost every day; You let me love you… and I became the happiest man in the whole world. One night after making love, you told me “don’t let anyone see this side of me,” and hugged me. I felt disappointed because I thought we were talking about not letting anyone see the real you. It wasn’t until later in life that I knew what you were talking about, you were asking me to not let anyone see you in your most vulnerable side. You didn’t want anyone to see you like I was seeing you under the sheets of our bed. I was too naive. 

I regret breaking up with you. I decided to throw away three beautiful years of my life because I was afraid when she showed up again in your life. The person you were with longer than with me. I was scared… how was I going to fight against an eight-year relationship?  I knew you didn’t want to break up with her. You told me the night you guys called it quits. I  was going to hold on to you. I really was going to New, but then you called her name in your sleep. I was not going to fight if you wanted her and not me. The day I decided to break it off, I knew you were just done filming a music video. I waited for you to come home, I had packed all my belongings. You came in and demanded to know what I was doing… The only thing that came out of my mouth was “I don’t love you, let’s break.” You didn’t stop me, you didn’t hold my hand and told me to stay. That day all my walls felt down, and I went to Off’s apartment and cried myself to sleep. 

I was at my lowest. People wanted us to be together, we had fan meetings, interviews, photoshoots together, yet we were so far away from each other. I was not sleeping or eating well… the only times I did was when Gun or Off told me to go out with them, or when Off dragged me to go to the gym with him. I was seriously thinking to quit being an actor because I wasn’t ready to live in the same world as you and not being more than just friends. I knew that I was the one who put myself in this situation, yet it still hurt. I thought I was going to be fine seeing you happy, and for a couple of days, that is what kept me going, knowing that you were happy. I was wrong New… One night you came knocking at Off’s apartment. I told you he was with Gun that night, that you needed to come back tomorrow. You took my hand and told me if I enjoyed seeing you suffer. I looked at you for the first time in months, and you were crying. At that moment, I realized that, just like me, you were suffering…

“Tay, you don’t get to decide who I am with or who makes me happy. I am the person who decides that, and as far as I know, you are my happiness.” You don’t know how happy I was to hear those words. You brought us back to life New, you took the rainy clouds in our life, and put a sun that shines every day. I am so happy I am able to wake up by your side every day. But, do you know what I am the happiest for? I get to be a family with you… I get to be a dad, I get to watch this little angel of ours get bigger and bigger every day. Thank you for not giving us up. I have learned to fight for our happiness New, and it is all because of you. 

New, thank you for making us a family

---

“P’Tay, P’New Happy Wedding Anniversary,” said a  reporter while we were posing for the cameras with our little boy in our arms

I know I am late to the game, but I been a little busy. For starters, my aunt moved to another state just a couple of days ago, so I helped her pack stuffs and get everything set up. I was pretty much with her 24/7. Then I helped my cousin moved out too, and I was also busy with my own work. But, that didn’t stop me from watching some BL during my free time, and one that really got my attention and I think deserves all the hype is GAMEBOYS

Gameboys is the story of Cairo and Gav. Cairo is a gamer who streams his games, and Gav was one of his followers. After Gav wins a match againts Cairo, he sends him a friend request in a platform I feel its like facebook (lmao). Gav doesn’t waste time, and tells him that if he wins another match againts Cairo, he is going to start flirting with him. Gav wins the game and he starts flirting with Cairo. 

However, although this is all cute and all, what got my attention was not just their love story, but where and how their friendship ( and later relationship) starts, but how the director and crew incorporated what some of us are living during the pandemic. For instance: 

1. Lockdown

The majority of our countries, states, and cities, are in lockdown. Although some of our countries are moving faster than other in reopening again everything, we are still limited in the number of times we can go out, or we have curfews. The majority of us are trying to keep ourselves busy, trying to forget a little than we are living in the middle of a pandemic and that doctor, nurses, and essential workers are putting their lives on risks for us. We see can Gav and Cairo talk about how they are trying to live their lives in lockdown, and how their whole lives changed. Moreover, every time we see how they get into social media there are posts about how essential workers are doing, what their government is doing right or wrong. I think in a way, the director is making a wake up call to some governments that are not helping or protecting their people. For instance, I do not know if I mentioned this but I was not born in the United States, I was born in El Salvador, and although the president of El Salvador did an amazing job to try and stop the spreading of the virus before it hit our country, a lot of other countries did not, like Mexico, Peru, Brazil, and Ecuador. I am not saying that other politicians did not do what they could to protect their people, but right now, as far as I know, are hot spots in South America. Even here, Texas right now is worse than what New York was when the pandemic started, our governor Cuomo, is trying to stop people from Texas coming to NY, because we barely got out of the worse. 

2. Essential workers

Through the whole series we see how Cairo and Gav supporting essential workers, whether it is by reposting a status, or by preparing meals. More than once Gav was preparing healthy meals for the essential workers. I think this dynamic is helping us to appreciate what these people are doing for us. THEY ARE HEROES, and Gav and Cairo are helping us see that what we can do is staying home. In the later episode we see different doctors and nurses helping people, covering themselves with masks that look like those in scary movies. It is just a wake up call for us too. 

3. Families fighting the virus

If you watched the show you know that Cairo’s dad has the virus. All through the series we see how Cairo seems sad because of it, and I am not giving spoilers but we know now why. If you guys had families, friends, or people you just knew around your neighborhood that had the virus, you know how hard it is for their families. My mother was exposed to the virus, to the point that myself and my father experience the symptoms. I lost some pounds because I was not eating properly due that you literally do not have taste or smell. However, I am thankful to God that our condition was not too bad to go to the hospital. My mother and father did not experience fevers at all, but I did. I had fever for two weeks and I was in the middle of finals at my College too. Either way, when I watched how Cairo’s life was put upside down because of his father having the virus, and how much he cared for him, I really felt for him. 

4. Friends and Love

I think this is a story that has everything in it. I do not have words to explain enough how Gav and Pearl helped Cairo to be happier in his little and small world where he felt so alone. It is just so magical to see their friendship blossom, as well as the love between Gav and Cairo. 

5. Acceptance

I cannot explain either this theme in the story, but I can say the words that Cairo’s mom said to him “Don’t apologize for being who you are.”

I hope you give this BL a try. In this lockdown, Gameboys is literally something I look forward every Friday. I CAN’T WAIT FOR EP 9 

Side note: 

I been having some ideas about a fanfic involving the 4 pillars of GMM, each one having their little story, but they have been friends since high school. I have like an idea, but I do not if you guys would like it. Each couple will face little obstacles like

Kris and Singto would like to adopt a child

Bright and Win having a hard time with their coworkers to accept 

Off and Gun trying to marry 

Tay and New trying to come out to their parents. 

And I have like little guest in each episode like Mew and Gulf, and other people from different BLs... I have like the whole plot of the story of Krist and Singto, but just let me know guys if you want to read something like that 

All love, 

Hello Beautiful Creatures of the Internet! 

I promised I was going to give you my opinion about My Bromance last Friday; however, I couldn’t because of some family issues and personal issues too. 

So.... My Bromance the series picks up 8 years after the movie ends. If you saw the movie then you know (SPOILERS!) that our beautiful Golf “dies.”

Now, Golf’s character is not portrayed by our beautiful Fluke, but by Cooper (From My Engineer), and Bank is portrayed by Guide, so there is also that change

 They took a little turn in the series, and in reality Golf didn’t die but it was more a plan that Golf’s dad created to separate them. So the movie and the series has the same plot, Golf is still angry and grieves the death of his mother. Then his father brings a new wife and a kid, which Golf doesn’t like at first but then they fell in love. The series gives the same dynamic and goes between the present and the past, giving us a more in detail break down of Golf’s past with his mother and father, and how him and Bank become boyfriends. 

The back and forth between the past and the present is a little bit annoying to me; don’t get me wrong it really helps to understand the characters more and their story. Specially, the reason why Golf is so angry, and his issues with his dad. The series picks after the movies but 8 years later. Bank is engaged to another man. Both Golf and Bank are back in Thailand and they start to develop this “brotherhood” or “relationship” again.

To be honest I didn’t like the way the writers portrayed Golf as an adult, because he still behaves as a kid, and doesn’t show that he has grown up and has learned from his mistakes. Bank’s character remains almost the same, just tiny differences, like slapping Golf, which I never saw Fluke’s personification of Bank doing. 

Did I like the series? Ummm yes I did, some parts. Even thought I found a little bit annoying the back and forth between timelines, it made me understand and appreciate the type of scarfs that Golf has. Season 2 needs to come up soon because if it doesn’t then the series for me feel unfinished. As someone who watched the series I felt that there is so many questions and not a lot of answers. Do I like the movie better than the series? Ummm it’s between a yes and a no, to be honest I can decide, because the series gives me an insight into Golf’s life that I didn’t see in the movie, and then the series doesn’t live up to the feelings, I think, the movie made me feel. 

Do I recommend watching the series? Yes! I mean at the end of the day, we all want to see Golf and Bank together, but I guess the plot and the screen time for the characters wasn’t good or enough to me. I hope in the second season we get to see why Golf and Bank broke up in the first place, how did the characters reacted after Bank and Golf go back together, what type of relationship they will have after all the hardships they have gone through. 

Now I know that I usually describes the series and then give my opinion, but since it has similar plot as the movie I didn’t. I also didn’t talk about Golf’s father because I think I would have given more spoilers and I want people to actually go and watch the series. 

All Love,

Lullaby

Sarawat’s Pov 

My phone alarm went off 9:30 am. Usually, I will not wake up so early on a Saturday, but since my husband decided to be a good uncle and offer to take care of Boss’s and Pear’s 3-year-old daughter, I have no other option than to help him. I make my way downstairs to find Tine taking his morning coffee, while reading his favorite manga at the moment.  We have been living in this apartment since our first year of university, and although he have mature and we have developed new habits, other things remain the same, such as the love we have for one another. Hence, why we got married a year later after finishing our studies. 

“What time are Boss and Pear coming?” I said, meanwhile I walk to the cabinet to grab myself a mug to pour myself some coffee.

“Your coffee is on the dining table Wat, I heard your alarm go off,” he said while he got up and walk towards me to give me a kiss on the cheeks. One thing Tine has gone better with the years is showing me affection… well at least when we are alone. “And, to answer your question, they said they will be dropping Luna off at 10:00, so they should be on their way here.” Boss and Pear started dating months after the music competition. Apparently, Scrubb’s concert actually created some magic in the air, and some couples formed during that performance.

“I don’t understand why you said yes. Taking care of  a baby is a lot of responsibilities, we don’t even have a dog for that reason.” Tine looked at me funny, I knew in his mind he was making fun of me. It’s not that I don’t like kids, believe me, I do. However, you don’t know when their mood is going to change, and when they cry, that’s the part I hate the most. 

“I thought it would be good practice, for us,” I suddenly almost choke on my own coffee when Tine said that. “Oh my god! Seriously, Wat, you should have seen your face.”  He said while laughing so hard. This kid… I walk to our living room to sit on the couch and let Tine laughing alone in the kitchen. 

Kids… Children… Family…. It’s not that we haven’t talked about adopting or maybe a surrogate, but we both are so busy with our careers and our relationship. I’m so possessive about Tine all the time, even with our own friends, that I can’t imagine sharing him with someone who is going to be needing him more than I do. Hence, why I was so against the idea of us taking care of Luna, she will take all the attention, and Tine will take more care of her than of me.

I feel some arms wrapping around my neck. “You are frowning… sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” I took one of Tine’s hands and left a small kiss on them.

“I’m not uncomfortable or mad, I was just thinking about work.” 

“I will pretend I believe you,” He said while he sits on my lap 

“Phukong told me Mil is thinking of moving the wedding date to a sooner date” 

“Umm,” was the only sound I made, while I kept playing with one of Tine’s hands.  Phukong, that stupid brother of mine, I was so against their relationship before because I thought Mil was only using my little brother to forget about Tine. Tine was the one that always tried for me to accept their relationship because Phukong was the right person for Mil. They have been dating for nearly five years now, and Mil finally proposed to my little brother last summer.

“It reminds me of how desperate you were to marry right away.”

“Of course, I wasn’t going to let you change your mind”

“Well… I mean proposing to me with band-aids is not the most romantic proposal” I laughed at that memory. Now we both have this gold ring in our finger. 

“I did better the last time,” I said, while also looking at our matching bracelets.

“Ummm, the third one was my favorite,” He said, laying his head in the space of my neck. 

“It’s almost 10 am, I am not ready to share you with that kid,” I said while I embraced his body, and brought him closer to my body. 

“You are her uncle, you need to be nice to her” He let a kiss in my neck. An electric feeling was sent from my neck to my whole body, after 10 years this man keeps making me feel like a first-year college student, even worse, I fucking in love high schooler. 

Tine’s phone went off, probably Pear was calling him to let him know that they were outside our apartment. I finally let him go, not until giving him a kiss on the lips. I walked to the kitchen to wash my mug, while I heard Tine say that the door is open and that they can come in. 

In less than 5 minutes, we have this little 3-year-old jumping into Tine’s arms. 

“Luna, what about a hug to Uncle Wat,” Boss said while coming in with two full backpacks. Is this kid going to sleep with us today or what? While I made my way to help him with one of the bags, Luna just stared at me. I’m not the best with kids, I smile at them and everything, but I don’t play as much as Tine with them. Luna just hid between Tine’s legs, and then went running to Pear’s arms.  

“Lune, Uncle Sarawat doesn’t bite,” Pear said while carrying the girl. 

“At least not a plain view, he has a special prey,” Boss said while making a funny face looking where Tine is standing. 

“Grow up Boss, you are a father and a husband now!” He started laughing and Pear followed him. Ugh! Can they leave? If they leave now, they can finish whatever they need to finish and come earlier for the little kid. 

“Okay, Luna you need to listen to uncle Tine and Sarawat, okay? Mommy and daddy will come and get you soon, we just need to check on grandma’s today” Lune nodded and extended her arms to Tine. 

“We promise to come as early as we can, we just need to check on my mother.

“No problem guys! You go without worries, we are going to take good care of Luna” speak for yourself Tine, all I can do is watch that kid from stealing all your attention. 

When Boss and Pear left, I made myself comfortable on the couch again while watching some news channel. Tine was playing with Luna on the carpet, but she wasn’t as interested in her toys.

“She doesn’t want to play with me,” He said with a sad face. I looked at him and exhale

“Maybe she is hungry, do they left something for her”

“I will check on her bags, watch her for a little while” Tine said, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. Luna had a barbie on her arms and was looking at the TV, before looking at me. She smiled at me… I guess she wasn’t scared of me right now. I went back to look at the news thinking she was watching it with me, but then all I hear are the strings of my guitar making noise. I stand up so quickly scanning the room and I see Luna touching my guitar. 

“You can’t touch uncle’s guitar Luna,” I said, taking the guitar and placing it away from her. Her eyes started getting watery and her face turned sad… This is the part I hate. Next thing I know, she is crying and I hear Tine’s footsteps 

“What happened?” Tine said, grabbing the baby and hugging her “Sarawat, what did you do?”

“Why am I the one to blame?! She took the guitar and started touching it! So I placed it away from her!” 

“Wat, she is a baby you cannot just take things away from a baby without getting her angry!” 

Okay! So, finally, I will actually cover "My Bromance," but in two parts. First the movie, and then My Bromance: The Series (which has different actors). However, that does not mean the series is bad. I will leave my thoughts about the series for the post next week.  

 My Bromance came out in 2014. I did not know about this movie until 2017-2018 (?). I think it was during the time I finally decided to watch SOTUS, and I liked one of the actor's interactions with Gunsmile (Prem is the character's name in SOTUS). So, I looked at the actor's name, and I found out his name was Fluke, and I feel for him.  After looking through the series and movies he had done, I discovered "My Bromance." When I watched the movie, I didn't know that Fluke (from UWMA) was in it, not did I know him. So my first time watching  Fluke Natouch was in "My Bromance," and not UWMA. 

 After that little "introduction," let me give you my opinion about the movie. So, I kinda knew Bank and Golf were brothers because I read the plot before watching the movie. However, I want to point out how they played with the words for this film because we all know what "bromance" is, but in this film, it really represents the story of two "brothers" falling in love. Golf is a kid that has grown up without somebody who listens and loves him. He has always been home alone. In other words, Golf's family is dysfunctional due to his parents being divorced; neither parent pays enough attention to him.  Hence, why Golf acts in a problematic way. One day, when Golf's dad arrives home, he brings a woman (who is his new wife), and a boy who is going to be Golf's brother. They have a rough start. Note: I feel Golf acts this way because his father barely gives him enough attention, and then he brings home this boy (who has lost his own father), and Golf's dad is trying to "take over" that position when he barely is enough father for Golf. 

 Bank and Golf attend the same school. At first, Golf treated Bank badly, making Bank his slave. Bank will pick up the plates and junk that Golf left behind. Golf changes his behavior with Bank when two girls from his group of friends actually pointed out his behavior with Bank wasn't nice, that Bank like it or not was his brother. After that incident we start to see a change in them, Golf started to act more like a real friend with Bank. The only time he acted badly again was when he felt jealous of a kid that liked Bank. Things happen in between (I don't want to say much, because I want you guys to watch this movie), and Bank and Golf start dating. One day, when they get back from a trip, Golf's mother finds them, and she reacts in a negative way towards her son's relationship with Bank. This created a whole deal because Golf's mother tells his dad, and they end up in a fight with Golf's father deciding that the better option is to send Golf to the States. 

 Time passes, and when Golf is back he brings a girl home. This makes things complicated, I think is during these scenes where Golf delivers one of my favorite quotes from the movie. "Doesn't love depends on feelings, not gender." I literally cried when I heard that line, because it's true, and I feel that this movie touches on those aspects. I don't want to spoil anything about the movie, but if you are okay with "sad" endings, I think you should give this movie a try because Golf makes the ultimate romantic gesture that you only do when you truly love someone. 

My opinion:

The movie is not of my top ten favorites, but I didn’t hate it either. I think is one of those movies where you watch it when you want to feel billions of emotions at once. I liked that we have some character development, we get to know our boys inside out, and we get to see how their relationship develops. I feel it really touches important aspects of love, family, friendships, etc. Golf’s and Bank’s friends are so supportive of their relationship, and they really care about the boys’ happiness. This movie, although I said it’s not on my top 10, touched my heart. We see a pure love, because both kids found true love in each other. I think one of the reasons it has the ending that it has, its to make us understand that life is hard, and society and taboos make life even harder. How hard is to let someone love each other? Why do we have to wait until bad things happen to a boy/girl to understand that maybe the person they chose to love was the right decision? I don’t know if I express myself right. But seriously guys, watch the movie, I think even thought it has an ending most of us wouldn’t like, you are not going to regret it. 

Side note: So sorry again for confusing “My Bromance” and “Bad Romance,”I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m going to try and read things more carefully next time! Again so sorry guys!

All love, 

Either way I have watched both series... I would give you my opinions about it next week (Like stated) because I’m doing some summer research from home, so I have to read some articles this week but I will try to get it done ASAP)

I’m so sorry again! I’m really embarrassed with you guys! I promise to not read your replies too fast! This is my mistake! Sorry!!!

All love,

Hello beautiful people!

I couple of days ago, one of you asked me if I had watched “My Bromance” 

(This is where my mistake was, My Bromance” is a different story than “Bad Romance” I confused the two. So I will make the corrections accordingly, and I will bring a review of “My Bromance” to you next week)

For the people who haven't heard about this BL, Bad Romance, Max and Tul are two Thai actors that play best friends. Korn (Max) has been in love with his best friend, Knock (Tul), for a long time. 

One night after a couple of drinks, they end up sleeping with each other. Knock enters in "shock" and doesn't want to talk to Korn anymore, besides his girlfriend meets with him the next day. The story evolves in how Korn and Knock tried to maintain their friendship, as Knock starts to have feelings towards his best friend. While at the same time, Knock's girlfriend tries to keep him by her side with lies and traps.

That part consists of “Together with me”. Now, in “Bad Romance,” they have been dating for a while. However, Yihwa is Korn's and Knock's friend, and she has a prospect "boyfriend" (Cho), but she feels that he is gay, and he is in love with Knock. This creates a gap between Korn and Knock since the first one started to feel jealous of how good is the friendship between the Cho and Knock 

Now, in “Together with me: The Next Chapter,”  

In this part, they are "married" (or at least that's how I see it). However, even though you guys will think it's a "and they lived happily ever after," it's not like that! These guys will have to get over cheating, bad feelings, insecurities, and lies again. Can our beautiful couple finally have a happy ending?

My opinion about this BL...

Okay, Korn and Knock are one of my favorite couples in BL, Max and Tul do an incredible job at showing their character’s emotions... as well as kissing REALLY GOOD! I think I read somewhere they actually lived together when recording the series because they knew each other way before. Their chemistry is one of the best I have seen after MewGulf. I just love this BL so much and I wish people will know this BL is out there because it is really good! I seriously recommend this trilogy! 

Hope you guys give these trilogy a chance! 

xoxo

Lullaby 

He was my first love

I never dare to say it out loud

Or even act like I did

But I loved him

Cute boy, so sweet to love

I will always love you

Someone else is making you happy

I know you aren’t going to suffer anymore

You smile as he says it in front of a crowd

In front of me

I admire his boldness

He can say I love you

Meanwhile my “I love you’s” sink in the deepest parts of my heart

I will grow old by your side as a friend

Maybe even as time passes I will always love you

But Tine, my best friend, my first love, maybe one day, I get to be as happy and so in love as you are right now