Be a Unicorn 🦄

I’ve been trying to boycott Christmas because it’s not Halloween anymore but I think I’m coming around to the idea, maybe. I’ll be more into it if we can ditch Santa and bring in Belsnickel instead. He’s basically just like Santa but better and he doesn’t watch you when you’re sleeping. I think that’s a lot better than some creep that stalks us all. I mean, you should fear Belsnickel because he’s a scary dude but I think that’s what makes it fun. As long as you’ve been good this year you should be fine. Other than my protest against Christmas, there’s been a lot of exciting things going on lately that I guess are pretty cool. There’s a Parks and Rec reunion next year, Chris and I got married last Saturday and I finished my gift shopping. I know we’re all probably really stoked about the gift shopping. That’s the most important thing here.

I’m not familiar with Belsnickel but hopefully, he’s not as bad as Krampus...that guy gives me the heebie geebies. I think I’ve been pretty good though, so maybe I don’t have to worry either way? I like to think that Christmas is just winter Halloween though - think about. Old guys dresses up in a costume, hands out gifts and there’s always a ton of chocolate. It’s not too far off, if you spin it just right. And you could always dress up as an elf if you wanted to get in on the action! But enough about that, congratulations, that’s amazing! 

Favorite Holiday memories? 3, 2, 1, go! Yeah sorry it’s late, I’ve been unpacking and I’m pretty sure I’m delirious. It’s okay though because Santa for sure visits you a few days before Christmas and tells you everything he got you, right? Nope just me, okay. Anyway, I’m Zoey and I pretty much talk about nothing all the time just to warn you.

If Santa has already visited, then I am incredibly jealous, so I kind of want to believe that you’re delirious, but that seems a little bit cruel - can we just pretend you’ve had too much eggnog, instead? Hello Zoey, I’m Brie and we’re either going to get along great or hate each other because neither of us will shut up! I vote for option a! 

When people turn thirty, they get a haircut… or ink their skin. Me? I… move from one coast to the other. I can’t complain. This place is way too beautiful not to live in. Kinda totally bummed that I didn’t know about this place sooner. Plus, it’s almost Christmas! And what better way to spend it than for me to unpack my boxes – it’ll be like unwrapping gifts… but less exciting? It’s all about how you look at things, right?

Wait, now I have to figure out what I’m going to do when I turn thirty - I already moved here and really, how do you top that? Perspective is everything, you just have to act really surprised every time you open a box and pat yourself on the back for being such a good girl all year long! 

I mean for you, Captain Marvel? Anything for you. I have six goats, five sheep, three horses, two lambs, ten cows and a couple of chickens.  The cows are not steak cows only milk cows!   Yes! We have! I finally got a chance to set up her room and it’s just darling. I still have boxes but most of the main rooms are unpacked!

Oh man, I could get used to this kind of treatment! YOU HAVE GOATS? I have two goats as well, so you just earned serious cool points, Brolin! I mean, I do enjoy a good steak but I don’t think I could ever raise animals to send to slaughter, you know? I get way too attached. I hope you haven’t spent all your time unpacking though and have gotten out to explore a bit? Don’t make me come drag you out! 

Just a gallon! But maybe your tummy is a super one and can hold twice as much, Brie. Admit it, that’s one of the reasons you’re Captain Marvel. Always make room for the pie, I have to agree with you there. That’s true! And I feel like even the most stressful schedules are a little easier to get through when you’re in the spirit of things early. Which thankfully around here, isn’t hard to do at all. How many Christmas parties attended, how many Christmas drinks made, how many Christmas albums you can listen to, it’s endless! And wow, 90%?! I’m both impressed and jealous, Brie. I’d say my shopping is probably at a solid 10% at this point. Maybe 15% for at least knowing what I want to get some people. Baking, though? As in Christmas cookies? Nice, I’ve already worked on mine and got those sorted, at the least. I’m thrilled with the tree and the lights outside. I know what you mean, especially when the closer Christmas gets, the more cool items in general start coming out of the woodwork. But no such thing as too much, yes? In theory. And you and I both, honestly. Just buying for the family takes a good chunk out of my bank account on its own. I’m thinking that weekend before Christmas, perhaps Saturday! Then they’ll be here in time for the entire holiday.

You know, I just might have a super-belly. It would explain why I can pack so much back and not really regret it. I mean, sometimes I overdo it, but it takes an awful lot, you know. Right? It’s hard to get down on things when you’re surrounded by friendly faces and building gingerbread houses. And if you can manage to be grouchy, that’s probably just your general state of being. Unless of course, Christmas brings up some not-so-happy memories. I try to remind myself that this isn’t a joyous season for everyone. You know, I have to give credit to Joe on this - I’ve always been an early shopper but he makes me look like a procrastinator, so I feel like I have to at least try and keep pace with him, which is nearly impossible but I refuse to go down without a fight! Oh my god, how are you not collapsing from the stress of it all? Cookies, cupcakes, squares, whatever I find on Pinterest that looks yummy! That might be the most frustrating part of getting the shopping done early - just when you think you’re done you find something that you just have to get for someone and then you have to reorganize all of your gift ideas. Have you come up with an itinerary of Bayview places and activities to keep them busy while they’re here?

Brie!! You know you can have a ride in Patty anytime you’d like to, babe. Plus I still have so much Christmas shopping to get done myself, so let’s do it together, shall we?! I was 100% and totally serious about all of this. Thank you, love! We’ve been riding everywhere and I’m already thinking of making an Instagram just for her, if that’s any indication of fun levels!

Do you still have Christmas shopping to do? Oh man, we need to get on this like yesterday, I don’t want you having to go into the zoo that is last minute shopping at a mall - I might never see you again! How’s tomorrow for you? That’s a fabulous idea, the wild adventures of Peppermint Patty. You’ll have more followers than any Kardashian! 

I’m settling in as best as I can. With my daughter running around, it is a little harder. By the way, I am a huge fan of yours. I am hyped for Captain Marvel to come out next year. Huge Marvel fan all around.

I can imagine - I had trouble keeping my dogs out of things when I moved, I can’t imagine a little human! Oh my gosh, thank you so much, I’m super excited as well and can’t wait for you all to see it! It feels like it’s taking forever to get here though!

I’ll hold you to do that, Larson. I like spending my warm Summer nights by the beach with a cold one, but if you all can do me one better, I might be inclined to stick around. I’m a gentleman, Brie. I’d never steer ya wrong. Snags are a staple – it’s what you’d probably call ‘sausages.’

I mean, it’s not bathing suit worthy or anything, but it is stunning so I think we can put up a pretty good fight! AND we also have glorious beach party summers as well, so really, I think we’ve got it made! Oh, okay, sausages I can handle. You just never know with you Aussies, there are some weird food ideas over there! 

I dunno, someone with too much time on their hands apparently? Hahaha. Dill. I just realized… Dill Pickles from Rugrats… anyway. We can get matching hats and wall plaques, of course. This is us, girl, it’s gonna be good! Well, yeah, there are soooo many candies and random crap I miss from when I was a kid. Oh, I agree. Green apple is so weird. Lime is a classic and a winner. This is why we’re friends, m’dear. We can tell everyone we’re normal adults passionate about sugar.

Man, I miss Rugrats, do they still show it on television? I hope so or these kids today are really missing out on true tv greatness. I should have known - they’ll be sparkly too, right? It wouldn’t be us if there wasn’t some sparkle! I don’t know why all these companies thing green apple is so great. I blame Jolly Ranchers. And like, green apple Jolly Ranchers are great but no one else does it quite as well. Right? We really should start a club of some kind. Not like a Sugar Anonymous thing though - I’m happy living in my denial and am not looking to quit!

You know what? If all that’s true, you don’t even need the test. You’re a clear psychopath. By the book definition of it. Who doesn’t hate glitter? That alone has got you right on my radar. 

But it’s so sparkly and fun - nothing wrong with that, right? Do you hate unicorns too because if so, I think it might be you who needs to be watched? 

I can’t think of any person who wouldn’t have a crush on her. I also can’t think of any role I would or could want to work on for that long, Alias was five seasons and it still felt like forever although I loved every second. Are the pies going to put my grandmother to shame? Because I’m not sure I can look her in the eye at Thanksgiving if her pecan pie is rivalled by something I can buy in town. I’ll be sure to tell them that you sent me and maybe they’ll be able to work out some sort of royalties.

See, I guess my longest was United States of Tara and that was only three but I was devastated when it ended. I would have played Kate forever if they’d let me! Well, I mean, I think I’d probably need to taste one of your grandmother’s pies if I was going to give a fair assessment. Can you arrange to have one delivered? Thanks, I think it’s about time I got some recognition for all I do for them! Though to be fair, I’d pay double if they made me! 

I totally feel this on so many levels. Do you have a favorite thing from Sweet Tooth? I’m pretty curious about your choices, I’ve heard Sweet Tooth gets mentioned a lot though. Seems like a pretty big love around here. Nice to meet you, Brie.Thank you for the welcome!

Pie. I’m all about the pie. Preferably peach. It also has some sentimental value for me, but it really is delicious. It’s a pretty popular spot around here but there are so many choices if sweets aren’t your thing. I mean, I’m always a little suspicious of anyone who doesn’t like sweets but to each their own, right? How are you settling in?

So magical here and I thought the Christmas Tree lighting at the Grove in LA was magical, but it definitely doesn’t compare. Hello, Brie. Pleasure to meet you. Luckily, it wasn’t a whole lot of stuff to unpack. A goat house? That is pretty awesome. How many goats do you have? Definitely have heard nothing but great things about Zach and the work he has created. Will be going to him for sure. 

When it comes to Christmas, I don’t think Bayview is outdone by anywhere else! Oh that’s good! When I moved, I tried to purge a bunch but I still ended up with a stupid amount of boxes. Two, Parvati and Padma! They’re the lights of my life! He’s pretty fantastic at what he does but he’s also just a solid, good dude so it always feels good to support people like that when you can. How are you settling in?

Honestly if I didn’t have Ellie I would have been the same way but she’s a pretty good alarm clock. But  now that I’m in Australia I’m sleeping for two days, my mum can watch her. That’s good. We did a pretty good job getting a lot of stuff. Hey, thank you for the coffee and for being our fearless leader. I wouldn’t have gone out without you. It’s awful. I mean, one, when did people stop being grateful for getting any sort of gift, and two… well no that’s all I’ve got really. I mean yeah, so it might not be exactly what you want, but it’s still a gift. Someone took time out of their day and thought ‘hey, they might like this.’ I don’t know, I guess I’ve just always tried to be grateful for anything. Hell yes! Bring on the clean house. Wait… you’ve never had fairy bread?! Oh my gosh, okay that settles it. When I get home I’m making you some.

This is true, Nate is a pretty good alarm clock himself, but Joe’s pretty good at keeping him distracted if he knows I’m pooped! No problem, I have to admit, for two people who weren’t exactly pumped about the idea of facing the crazy crowds, we did pretty darn well! I don’t know, Christmas has gotten weird, hasn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I love it and look forward to it every year but I feel like more and more it starts to feel like so much work - and I’m sure every generation has said that, but we forget what it’s all about far too often. I try to be grateful too and I really do appreciate when anyone takes the time to think about me - I’d be happy if they just sent a card, you know? Oh no, I had fairy bread when we were on the trip there a while back but I absolutely love it and maybe it’s because I’m not a true Austrailian, but it never tastes the same when I try to make it myself. 

Ah, that means that you used magic to hide them, right? I know I saw you walking around with a wand lately. A little bit of both? I might have to move it, though just in case Nate gets too curious and can’t help himself. Pretty soon it’s going the place is going to look like a wrapping station! You think that we can handle Christmas by now? We did manage to not burn dinner for Thanksgiving so we might be okay with handling Christmas. Who knows, maybe next year we’ll handle all the big holidays without breaking a sweat!

The wand was a trick so you wouldn’t think to look for the cloak of invisibility - did I not tell you my Hogwarts letter finally came? You know, maybe you should just leave it - I don’t mind if he peeks. And I promise I’m not just saying that because I think I could bribe it out of him with Oreos. I think we could handle it, we’re like superheroes when we team up but do we really want to have to do all that work on Christmas? I say we let the mom’s continue to think we need them for a couple more years!

Okay, good. I didn’t wanna be too into Christmas if it wasn’t a good thing. It goes by too quick though, to be honest. Which sucks. It’s all up but not decorated yet. Hopefully before or during the weekend it’ll be all done. What about you? Got a tree yet?

This is a pretty Christmas-y kind of town if you haven’t figured that out already, so I think you’ll fit right in! The tree is up, presents are bought, it’s just a matter of doing a whole bunch of baking so I have plenty to share and leftovers for myself! How about you, how’s the rest of Christmas prep coming along?

Especially when it comes to females and their education when it comes to STEM learning.   I think that is what excites me the most about the partnership that so many companies and organizations have these days   I am glad I am not the only o e whom is behind.

I agree, it’s a pretty great time to be a woman, though not without its challenges still. Honestly, I feel like I can never be totally prepared for Christmas, I always just find something else to do as soon as I finish one thing. I like to go all out, so it’s kind of an ongoing thing all season.