Discernment Demystified & Some Practical Advice
By Lethe 29/07/22
So… first of all- what is discernment? That word gets thrown around everywhere in the community, overused to the point of meaninglessness, worn-down by constant claims about “discerning” and accusations about “lacking discernment”.
The dictionary definition states that discernment is simply “the ability to judge well”.
Wikipedia, which is a god-send sometimes, further expands upon this very bare-bones description with the following:
“Discernment has also been defined in the contexts; scientific (that is discerning what is true about the real world),[3] normative (discerning value including what ought to be)[4] and formal (deductive reasoning). The process of discernment within judgment, involves going past the mere perception of something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities.”
I think this encompasses the concept of discernment in relation to a spiritual practice extremely well. It is not merely questioning to the point of an existential crisis, or purposelessly doubting every spiritual experience you’ve had. Rather, it is a process of applying your critical thinking skills to determine if your subjective feelings and initial conclusions/perceptions about something match up with objective facts and reality.
Discernment, though it seems tiresome and daunting, should not ever be a scary process. Skepticism is a healthy attitude to cultivate in any spiritual practice, and discernment is the stepping stone to through, genuine, fulfilling spiritual experiences. Without it, you’re left only with delusions, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and uncertainty about your reality and spirituality.
Now that we’ve covered that- let’s get to the fun part. What are some good and bad discernment practices and why?
A favourite discernment practice in spiritual communities that gets thrown around is “seek third party verification”.
As an idea, this sounds great. Sure, go find a reader who will perform a reading and they can confirm if you are genuinely experiencing something by comparing results.
However, there are a myriad of issues with something like this. First of all- not every reader is a legitimate one, or qualified, or capable, or ethical. Trudging through the piles upon piles of fake offerings, cold readings, and overpriced services that deliver nothing more than LoveLightDivine messages Can be frustrating at best and maddening at worst.
Now, let’s say you eliminate this by going to a trusted reader. You constantly engage with them. You are friends, even. However, you’ve shared so much with them that there is huge bias in their readings. They now understand you deeply, and a lot of the information they provide you with may (purposefully or not) feed into your biases, particularly if you have a friendship at stake.
Generally, this issue of bias in “friendly” readings can be eliminated by ensuring that the reader is not privy to every detail of a situation, and that the information they provide is not psychoanalytical, but instead something more tangible, provable, or actionable.
Another way to ensure that the readings you receive from practitioners (close to you or not) are legitimate, is by ensuring they provide information that you have not shared before and they couldn’t otherwise know. They should not be repeating the same issues back to you, but rather delving more deeply and allowing you to gain insight.
Lastly, you can ask for your spirit (if the matter at hand is involving one) to either give a sign in the reading, like mentioning something specific or showing a specific card (that the reader is not aware of) OR you can ask for a physical sign as confirmation after the reading to verify the validity of your results.
Another favourite discernment practice of spirit workers online is “sense the spirit’s energy/ learn to feel it.”
While someone who is experienced and has an established practice with a reliable spirit they commune with regularly and who has proved they can manifest in other ways may be able to get away with this- this never should be your first method of discernment, nor your only one. The mind is very powerful- so powerful in fact that it can even have some degree of influence on your health. Just look up more about the placebo effect or somatoform disorders!
Relying on intangible feelings only (when there is no other backing to a spiritual practice) is extremely dangerous and can ultimately become a pathway to enabling delusions, maladaptive daydreaming, avoidant tendencies, etc.
On the controversial method of asking for physical manifestations as discernment
Listen- if you want to work with a spirit- asking for physical manifestations of some kind should be your goal. Just as you are putting in effort into cultivating a connection with them, so should they showcase that they are willing to do the same for you.
When I suggest people request physical manifestations from a spirit- it invariably is met with some level of discomfort. Discomfort which is usually rooted in fear at the threat that their spirit might not be able to do so and what that might mean for them. Delusions? A collapsing spiritual practice? Invalidation?
To address this- I think that a few things need to be discussed.
Firstly, not all spirits are able to physically manifest to the same degree. A deity and a brownie are not on the same level in the hierarchy of powers, and as such expecting a brownie to do the same a deity can do is counterintuitive, unfair, and ultimately will lead to disappointment.
Furthermore, there are some misconceptions about what a spirit should be able to do physically right off the bat as a spirit companion/ upon first contact (or else they’re not legit).
In reality, because you’re not formally “pacted” with the spirit, because you have not cultivated a relationship with them, etc. physical manifestations with a spirit companion in the beginning might be very small. As you slowly grow in your work together, nurture your bond, figure out what works and doesn’t for you, and what physical methods of manifestation are most suitable for them- then the degree of manifestations you have will also increase in potency and frequency.
Having said that- what should a physical sign request look like?
Make it SIT.
Specific- Write down (this is important so you have proof and record) a specific request. No “show me an animal that reminds me of you.”
Improbable/Impossible- Make it something you’re (at the very least) unlikely to encounter in your daily life. Please take into account that Pinterest, Google, Tumblr etc all track your browsing patterns. Seeing something that might look like a sign online is probably the algorithm, not God.
Timely- Give a set, specific timeline by which you hope the request is accomplished. For example “By July 30th at 7PM CST”.
You can also agree to provide a spirit’s favoured offerings should they complete the task- but only so long as they have done so.
Remember! Sometimes a request might not be fulfilled for a myriad of reasons and that’s not necessarily something to have a spiritual crisis over. A reading from a third party (even a trusted one) might not always be completely correct.
Something you first thought was a spiritual sign might end up being disproved as such later down the line.
However, if a lack of signs, reading inconsistencies, etc becomes a frequent and pervasive issue, no other aspect of your spiritual life is flourishing, and your other discernment checks don’t stand up to scrutiny, then that means something is definitely wrong.
But you know what? That’s okay. Spirit work is uncertain, scary, and mistakes are going to happen. If they don’t, you’re absolutely doing something wrong. It is not invalidation that should scare you, but the idea of clinging to that which is verifiably false out of a desire for comfort and stability.
I hope this primer on discernment and small breakdown on some do’s and don’ts is helpful to you all.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
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