i know that regardless of however many words i attempt to use to convey my feelings for hobi, no amount of them could even come close to expressing just how much he’s affected and influenced my life so positively just by existing, just by being who he is each and every day, just by being such a wonderful and unstoppable force of nature that i can’t help but stop to catch my breath sometimes, in a vain effort to keep up with him. but i can still try. (warning: this is. a huge cornfest.)
before i had even gotten into bts, i was immediately drawn to hobi. there was just… something about him, something that made him stand out so blatantly at a time when i didn’t pay too much attention to idols, at a time when i least expected it to happen. and yet, it was undeniable. on a surface level, i suppose that my attraction could’ve been attributed to the gleam of his smile, to the incomparability of his beauty, to shine that catches his eyes when he laughs. but, even though i hadn’t a clue what it was it at the time, it was something else entirely: his warmth.
there’s just. this unmistakable warmth to hobi, something that permeated through my screen before i even properly knew him, something that envelops and radiates off of him like air, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, to this day. it’s so rare to find someone like that–someone that is so warm and genuine and lovely that you can just feel it before properly knowing them, without any preconceptions or ideas. and it’s even rarer to find someone like hobi, whose warmth is so overwhelming and all-encompassing that it shines through him and passes through those around him, those watching him, those loving him. even more beautiful still is that he’s completely unaware of it, unaware of his effect on others.
he does’t even realize the force of his impact, in the littlest things he does: always working to improve his craft because he believes his fans deserve the absolute best version of himself, caring for and worrying over his members even when he himself is overworked and weary, taking it upon himself to project a hopeful image not only for his group but for the world, even if he feels less than, because he’s so aware of the power of positivity that he wants to harness his own to help others in any and every way he can. and he does this with such humility, such selflessness, that it’s almost very hard to believe, sometimes, that he’s here, he’s real.
i’m just. so lucky to experience his warmth in my life, every day, seeping through my bones into the deepest pit of my belly, without so much as expecting or deserving it one bit. i don’t even know hobi personally, yet he does so much to and for me that i feel so fortunate to be caught in his orbit, one of the many planets to his blindingly brilliant star.
happy birthday, jung hoseok. may this be the best of many many many more.
2087
vaporwave
annaxmalina
theartofmadeline
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
janainaart
