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Hi heart anon! I’m good thank you!! Hope you’re doing well <3 Been eating bubblegum icecream and my cat won’t stop staring at it 😭
I have not seen Spiderman yet 💔 and won’t be able to until it’s on my phone. Not because I don’t have access to it, my mother saw it at the cinema with her bf, but it’s because I can’t see the screen my eyesight is so bad.
You might say “well just wear your glasses Merri!” And yes I would agree however my glasses are 4 years old and aren’t strong enough now. They don’t even work for the tv at home so rip imma have to wait. Don’t you dare spoil it people 🫵
Minors… the MDNI warning on my nsfw fics means MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. If you are under age 18 DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE POST. Not just with the post in question but also in my inbox about the post! That includes asking for more of the nsfw fic and asking for other smut writer recommendations.
If you’re an arcane writer and were just tagged in a post of mine ignore it. I deleted it after deep diving into the askers blog only to find some stuff out and blocked them. Sorry about that moving on ✋
Someone gotta take me out. I had a whole Kinktober list planned. Masterlist made and designed. Half the posts designed (but not written). And now I’ve made a Halloween witchy potion themed event masterlist with different fics for Halloween on it and I can’t pick between the two because they’re both cool asf.
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Merri... I think I pissed someone off. Idek what I did wrong 😭😭
Well I often feel like that but then I remember that it’s probably just in my head tbh. But if some way they’ve acted makes you feel like that then maybe ask? But lowkey if you’ve done nothing (which I doubt you have considering the ask) then it’s probably your head making you think that. Happens to me all the time trust.
🕷 word count ~ 3k
🕷 content warning ~ flashbacks, memory loss, mentions of grief, profanity, yearning, no use of y/n, mild violence, uncertainty, self doubt, stalking and mild obsession, light angst
🕷 SYNOPSIS ~ Your visions start to seriously bother you, so you find yourself in a pursuit of the mysterious web-slinger, while she struggles to brush off how much she longs for you.
A/N: RAAAHHHHHH SPIDER-MAN BND COMING OUT TOMORROW OMHOMGOMOMG IM SEEING IT ON OPENING DAYYY!!! quick reminder that this story isn't based on bnd, but it is an interpretation of it in a sense!! dont come at me if its inaccurate lmfao bc i already know it wont be. i made this story up and it simply picks up where nwh left off but with ellie as spidey. hope you enjoy!! i HAD to get one more chapter in before the movie release
Likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated!
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-series masterlist- -masterlist-
Sticky notes, newspapers, files. They all litter your desk. So much so that you can’t see the wooden surface anymore. Some are stained with coffee rings, some are crumpled after being retrieved from trash cans and such. Some nights, you forget to sleep. Others, you forget that day and night are separate.
A week has passed since you started your search. Maybe a little more. You never officially ‘started’ anything, to be fair. Things keep pointing to your friendly neighborhood Spider-Woman. Your visions, your dreams. You’ve personally met her more times than most other New Yorkers. You aren’t involved in law enforcement, nor are you a reporter. So, why does she keep showing up?
It started with you simply reading articles you happened to come across. Your suspicions (and the algorithms of your socials) promptly led you to go on this wild goose chase for the infamous vigilante. You don’t even know how the sticky notes started.
As of right now, your closest lead is Spider-Woman’s patrol route. You were able to deduce that she has a weekly schedule for her rounds around New York City. On Mondays, she’s usually around ESU. She also often makes a stop at a certain alleyway, according to the footage you found online, so that’s exactly where you’ll be camping all morning!
You set up a little too early, reaching the spot at around six in the morning. It’s not like you slept at all last night. This has been keeping you up for days. These visions…they’ve been getting worse. You keep seeing her, and they keep getting more realistic. You were scared to sleep, truth be told. They got more violent with time, and they always left you feeling shaken.
Two nights ago, you felt it. One minute, you were in bed trying to sleep, and the next, you were trapped under rubble. You felt the weight on top of you. You felt the searing scratches scattered across your flesh, leaving fresh crimson marks that made it hard to move. Next to you was a torn red mask—Spider-Woman’s. Hazy, you crawled towards it and held it close. Then, the large chunk of sidewalk above you flew upwards, having been suspended by a web. For a second, you almost saw a blurred, pale, freckled face, but the concrete fell right back down on top of you, waking you up earlier than you would’ve wanted. If you could’ve just seen her face…
You just had a double shot espresso, though. You’ll be fine with no sleep.
An hour passes. Then two. You definitely came here too early. Every swipe you make on your phone takes away one percent. You should probably get your phone battery replaced. What was the battery health again? Your thumb presses on the grey app to check the battery, but you’re interrupted by the swift sound of wind and the quiet landing of feet against pavement.
Spider-Woman is right in front of you. She doesn’t seem to know you’re here yet. You take a step closer, and only then does she wheel around and look straight at you. Her lenses are comically wide, portraying the surprise she probably feels from seeing a random person in her usual alleyway.
Now, you’re just pissed. You didn’t think you’d feel too strongly about the whole ordeal, but seeing her so clueless and carefree while you’re suffering is driving you up a wall.
“Hey, you’re the girl that gave me the ninja turtle bandaids.” The red and blue one chuckles, schooling her posture and expression into something a little less rigid. “Are you lost?”
All you can do in this moment is glare at her. Why does she get to be relaxed? She probably doesn’t even have a real job! Who knows, maybe she steals from the city fund. For all any of you know, she might be working with the government to stage her ‘heroic deeds’.
Spidey senses the lack of enthusiasm from your end. She tilts her head before asking a follow-up question. “Not lost?”
You scoff, “No, I’m not lost. I’m here for you.”
Even through the mask, you can see her cocky smirk when she answers. “Well, I’m flattered, but—”
“Oh my fuck, do you ever shut up?” You snap, frustrated by her ego getting in the way of you getting to the bottom of this.
“Woah, hey, I mean no harm. What do you need?” The woman finally stops teasing. She squints a little to show that she’s no longer screwing around.
“Look, you and whatever voodoo shit you’re pulling is getting on my last nerve. Quit it, or I will find you.” As serious as you are about your threat, even you know how pathetic it sounds when it’s directed at Spider-Woman. What’re you gonna do? Empty her webshooters?
Despite all that, Spidey still appears to be taking you seriously somehow. It’s almost like your words actually mean something to her. You wonder if she’s like this with all the citizens she meets.
“Come again? I’m not sure I follow…”
“The visions. The dreams. Why do I keep dreaming about you?”
“Why do you think I have something to do with this? People have recurring dreams of others all the time.”
“No—these, they’re—they’re different.” You start to stammer, arguing against her statement. “They feel so… real. I know something’s going on, and I know you’re involved. They only started after the first time I met you.”
“I’m sorry, miss, I wish I could help… I don’t know what’s up with that.”
“They’re.. But they’re so vivid. It feels like witchcraft, or—or something,” you start to hesitate, not feeling as certain as you did two hours ago.
She shrugs, repeating her answer with true honesty. “I can’t help you with this. I don’t know, really.”
Your shoulders sag and you nod, taking a deep inhale. “Alright. Alright. Uhm, thanks anyway. Sorry for stalking you.”
Spider-Woman doesn’t give an immediate reply. Instead, she lingers, her hand moving to tug on her pinky and ring fingers. You glance down, noticing that miniscule gesture.
Without thinking, your hand comes up and reaches forward to touch the gloved hands in front of you, as if with the intent to soothe her concern. You stop yourself just in time, wondering what made you have that urge in the first place.
Ellie notices your reaction, of course. She notices every single thing about you. Her heart aches a little. Your body remembers how you held her hands whenever she played anxiously with her fingers. Under school desks during class. In lines for events and concerts. While listening to the news. After Tony died.
That easy, signature smirk still returns, and Spidey gives you a wink before lifting her arm and shooting a distant web. “See you around.”
And she’s gone.
You: hey!! r u busy?
Ellie: hii
Ellie: nah, not really. Why?
You: awesome :) meet me at this location, they make some meaaannn burritos
Ellie: lmfao sure. be there in ten.
You: dont keep me waiting :p
You smile at your phone after sending a link to Delmar’s Deli-Grocery before turning it off and sliding it into your pocket. That plan you made to talk to Spider-Woman was a total bust. She knows nothing about the dreams. All you need right now is a distraction, something to get your mind off of things. Ellie’s great. She’s funny and kind. Spending time with her would definitely do you some good. And you can’t be alone right now. If you’re left alone whenever you feel like this, you’ll spiral or feel awful for the rest of the day. Too awful to get by. You can’t do it.
Something about Ellie drags you in. There’s no denying how beautiful she is with her emerald eyes, her blooming freckles, and her deep auburn hair, but it’s not that. Her words captivate you. She doesn’t speak much, but when she does? It’s like it’s something that should just stay between you two.
She’s thoughtful, too. She recently gifted you a little planner she saw you eyeing at the mall the other day. You told her in passing that it seemed useful, but she never forgot. It’s the same with conversation, too. Ellie’s the type of person who will remember something you casually mention during a story, and she’ll bring it up later on when it’s relevant again unprompted. She’s never the type to dismiss you, either. Whenever your thoughts oppose, she actually listens to your perspective. She hears you out even if nobody else will.
You’ve taken a liking to her. She’s…everything you needed. She has this energy that keeps you in a chokehold you don’t think you can get out of. Her hands, calloused yet still so delicate with you, carry answers to questions you might not even know you have yet. Something about her makes you need to be around her. It feels like your very body is going through withdrawals from a drug you didn’t even know existed. You need Ellie. You just need her to be around, especially after what just happened.
Maybe you won’t admit how you feel just yet. It’ll probably take long for that to happen. For now, like with everything else, you’ll keep your heart’s desire tucked away until holding it in becomes physically inconceivable or too painful. What if the girl you’re longing for is straight? What if she already has someone?
The bell above the entrance rings, and looking under it, you recognize Ellie’s signature low bun. You push yourself off from the wall you were leaning against and make your way towards her.
“You made it,” you smile slightly. It’s more tender than the smiles you’d give Jesse or Dina.
“Why wouldn’t I?” She asks, confused but still smiling back.
“Well, this deli sells the best sandwiches you’ll ever eat. I was craving it for lunch and didn’t really wanna go by myself.” You admit, approaching the counter.
“Hey, Mr. Delmar,” you chirp, knowing this guy likes you because you’ve been coming here since you were a high school freshman. “Sandwiches, please. Two, this time.”
“You boost my customer count, kid.” He grins, pointing at you as a raspy laugh leaves him. “Two sandwiches.”
You chuckle back and hand him the money you owe before Ellie can argue and pay. You know she’s broke as shit.
Mr. Delmar hands you the sandwiches with a wink behind Ellie’s back and you shoot him a look, but your little smirk betrays you. With the food in hand, you decide to walk to Central Park, finding a bench to sit on while you eat.
“Do you feel alright?” Ellie asks between mouthfuls, facing you with her legs crossed on the bench. “You seem a little pale.”
You pause and furrow your eyebrows, pulling away from your sandwich when she catches you off guard. “I’m…Yeah, I’m fine. Do I look pale?”
“Not pale pale, it’s—it looks like there’s something on your mind.”
You stare at her for a beat, then down at your sandwich before lowering your hands and murmuring in a lower voice. “Uhm, well, I guess there’s something.”
Ellie simply nods, nudging you to keep going.
“I’ve been getting visions. Dreams. I don’t know what they are anymore. “You groan, closing your eyes in frustration about all this.
“Visions?”
“Kinda? I dunno… They’re all about Spider-Woman, and they all feel so vivid. They don’t feel like they’re ‘just’ dreams, Ellie. I feel crazy, but they hurt. And I’ve been getting these awful migraines and random headaches, and they’re only getting worse. It’s almost unbearable.”
“You’re not crazy.” Ellie mumbles. “People get visions sometimes. You think meds would help with the headaches?”
“I tried painkillers. The stronger shit too. They don’t do anything.”
“Maybe you’ve been interested in Spider-Woman? I used to have vivid dreams as a kid. The migraines might be from stress…”
You shrug. “That could be it, but it’s still annoying.”
“Try to wait it out. See how you feel.”
A weak huff of laughter leaves your lips. “Well, it’s not like I can do much else.”
“Let’s get ice cream after this. My treat, so you feel better.” Ellie gives a small, calm smile, the one that makes you feel less hopeless about things.
Slowly, you and Ellie fall back into an easier rhythm, leaving the negativity behind now that it’s out of your system. Even as your head pounds with that same ache with her in front of you, you turn a blind eye as much as you can to savor this moment.
Ellie’s good with a mask. You don’t feel an inch of the fear that engulfed her after your confession. She’s worried because why would you be getting visions of her as Spider-Woman?! If there’s one thing the multiverse and Dr. Strange taught Ellie, it’s that nothing happens without reason.
How could you be involved in this?
On the way, you and Ellie find yourselves taking the long route to the ice cream parlor. The two of you collectively went the wrong way a couple of times for the sake of walking a little while longer.
When you finally stop at the pastel rainbow colored shop, Ellie taps on the glass to show you a flavor. She points at your favorite.
“Salted caramel?” She suggests, giving you a questioning look even though she already knows.
You smile, and your face feels a little warmer than before. “How’d you know it’s my favorite?”
Something flickers across Ellie’s face. Her smile drops for a second, but she smoothly schools it into something more offhand as she shrugs. “I didn’t. Just picked a random flavor.”
“So, salted caramel it is.”
“What the hell could that have been, Happy?!” Ellie exclaims, pacing in front of her station while her newfound ally watches from his desk. “She’s getting visions. Didn’t you get a vision before you remembered me?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“So she’s close! She’ll remember me soon, right? That makes sense!”
“Ellie—”
“I just have to stay close to her. Proximity is what triggers it. You were around me for hours at a time every day, so by that logic, I should spend more time with her, and Jesse, and Dina, and then they’ll—”
“Are you gonna let me speak?” Happy raises his voice, maintaining his tone enough to get Ellie to pause without startling her. The girl nods once, stopping in her tracks to face him.
Happy stands up and leans against the edge of the table. “Look, kid. When I remembered you, it hurt. Bad. I mean,” he chuckles. “I thought I was dying back there. Don’t you think you should give it some time? Let it happen without rushing it? You said she’s getting migraines, and they’re pretty bad, and we both know you were closer to her than to me. It might only be worse for her.”
Silence washes over the lab as Ellie mulls over what Happy just said. She looks down at her beat up Converse.
“I…I really miss her, Happy.” She mumbles eventually. “She looks at me like I’m just some college friend now. Like I haven’t known her since grade school.”
“I know, Ellie. But give it time. Forcing it will hurt her.”
“Yeah…yeah, you’re right.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. I have a surprise.” Happy smirks, a light bulb turning on in his head now that Ellie’s satisfied with his advice.
Ellie’s brows knit together, but she gives a cautious little smile. “What is it?”
Hogan leads her to Tony’s old office, and he walks over to a large Stark family portrait with the man himself, Pepper, and Morgan. He taps a few concealed buttons on the painting, and the whole frame shifts slightly to the left. Ellie can’t really say she’s surprised.
He pulls out this glowy, metal briefcase. A pit forms in Ellie’s stomach, and her heart starts to beat louder and louder. She recognizes that thing.
“Holy shit, is that…”
Happy smiles before she can continue. He brings the briefcase to the table between the two chairs in front of Tony’s old desk and gently sets it down.
“I figured out how to rig the system and add your biometrics…” He murmurs, entering a code before pressing two buttons on each side of the case. It opens with a soft whirring sound and Ellie has to stifle a quiet gasp.
Inside the case is a brand new suit, designed just like the last one she made with Tony’s tech. Her heart flutters as she takes a step closer to examine the new suit. The mask rests delicately, each web perfectly placed on the fabric she once loved and cherished. It’s nothing like the old stuff she wears that barely fits her probably.
Beside the mask and suit resides a pair of brand new webshooters. They’re a sleek, glossy black and clearly look more advanced than her at-home science project. She takes one out with a tentative touch and puts it on. It snaps into place around her wrist and even adjusts to fit her perfectly. She extends her arm all the way and aims up at the window. With the smallest press, a powerful web slices the air like a bullet, leaving a thick, sturdy mark on the black leather.
It brings tears to her eyes. The sight of what once was a guaranteed object in her life, now presented to her all over again like it wasn’t her property before. But he knows. Happy knows. He remembers. He’s the only current living proof of Ellie’s presence and existence on this Earth from beyond a couple of months.
He pulls an earpiece out of the case, placed with obvious care on top of the expensive red and blue material, and hands it to her. His eyes glisten with the emotion of seeing the start of her return to her former glory.
Ellie puts it on, and a feminine, robotic voice resounds from the tiny device.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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BLACK = I would date you.
GREEN = I think you’re cute.
BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.
GREY = I wish you would notice me.
PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
TEAL = We have a lot in common.
YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.
ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.
BROWN = I don’t like you.
PINK = I think you are unattractive.
RED = I hate you with a burning passion.
WHITE = You scare me.
RAINBOW = BED PLZ.
SCARLET = You have influenced my decision/thoughts on something.
MAROON = You taught me something new.
CINNAMON = You’re a really cool person and admire you from afar. PERIWINKLE = You make me laugh
MAUVE = You are really talented
BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.
CYAN = We have very little in common
THISTLE = I only just started following you
INDIGO = I’ve been following you for a long time
FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold
COPPER = Your blog content is trash (and I love it)
VERMILION = You make me feel passionate
HONEYDEW = I want to call you by a nickname
LAVENDER = You inspire me
CORAL = You’re a meme
UMBER = I want to know more about you
FORGET-ME-NOT = You remind me of somebody
RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you
ARSENIC = I don’t know how to describe the way I feel about you
WINE = You make me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class
SAFFRON = I love your ideas
TIMBERWOLF = I trust you
FALLOW = I want to run through the Northern wilderness barefoot with you
PLUM = I’d like to chat with you
TANGERINE = I love your aesthetic
SAGE = You make me cry
CRIMSON = We should collaborate on something!
VIRIDIAN = I wanna hang out on your blog
CHARTREUSE = You’re my homie
BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you
𝒪𝓃ℯ 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓁ℴℴ𝓀𝒾𝓃ℊ 𝒻ℴ𝓇𝓌𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝓉ℴ 𝓇𝓃༯ Going to the Orlando metro area with my man and my best friend.
𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝒾ℊℊℯ𝓈𝓉 𝒹𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓂༯ Fulfillment, meaning, and peace. Also to become an actress but also a figure for other black women and guide us till I can't anymore.
𝒮ℴ𝓃ℊ 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯ𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 ℴ𝓃 𝓇ℯ𝓅ℯ𝒶𝓉༯ I literally can't choose but artist that I'm rarely gonna skip are: Miguel, Beyoncé, Megan Thee Stallion, Iyla, & Arctic Moneys.
hair color: i have a split dye, one side is my natural brown the other side is pink and green
favorite colors: pink and green (shocker, i know)
favorite drink: big fan of ice water
one thing you love about yourself: my own sense of humor, i genuinely believe i’m the funniest person on the planet
if you could be any animal, what would you be: a chihuahua specifically owned by myself or my husband. we love our little ratdogs 🫶
dream place to visit: i’ve always wanted to go to new zealand, ireland and greece
one thing you’re looking forward to right now: i’m going to the beach tomorrow!
my biggest dream: i’d love to own an animal rescue 🥺
song permanently on repeat: currently summer disease by millington
no pressure tags: @satorusdollie @satorusdreamer @hotties4gojo @satoruined @lunarkyn @oporotheca @iamsoclone @serpenttine @plaguecxlt @siennayaps + whoever would like to join