honk

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

Me: Don’t say it.

My brain:

in a neutral context: Let’s

get down to business.

FUCK HARD

FUCK FAST

FUCK BADLY

NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI

CREATE JOY

MUSIC ALWAYS

PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET

YUMMY SOUP

go see the doctor about that thing

BE TRANSGENDER

KISS YOUR FRIENDS

EAT CHEESE

NEVER KILL YOURSELF

the opening of season four is so entirely unhinged. his evil identical twin brother steals all his belongings (including his assistant chet the mouse) and sells them online for some reason and he has no more fancy pants so he can’t take the poodle next door charlene to the poodle ball and he gets a fax saying he’s fired but it’s signed as “ha ha” which his assistant supervisor blossom pepperdoodle von yum yum says is most likely just a joke but no ruff thinks that it’s from harriet hackensack who just bought their tv station and hates dogs so he decides that he is going to go to australia where she is to get his job back so his grandma buys him back his computer (and chet) from his evil brother and then blossom hands him a book that she wrote about converting your dog house into a car or submarine running in alternative fuel so they decide to harness the power of chinese food (oil) to convert the dog house which ends up looking like a chicken car and go to australia but they didn’t build a submarine so it starts to sink until they use a bunch of pineapples in a net to make the ship float then they encounter ruffs ancestor who’s a spoof on blackbeard and they escape attack because ruff tells him to go on his website on pbskids and play science games and then they discover that auditions for season 4 contestants were actually today and ruffs usual dog murray resigned and replaced himself with hank who is a bulldog so hank has to audition 3000 kids to be contestants on fetch then they accidentally eat the pineapple floating their ship and crash land on an island and it turns out it’s poodle island which is like alcatraz for dogs and they arrest ruff because they mistake him for his evil identical twin brother scruff and he escapes though a tunnel scruff dug after finding notes scruff wrote about hitting banks hard and then they finally make it to australia where ruff dresses as a cat and goes to talk to harriet it gets stuck in the cat costume and harriet kicks him out after hiring blossom who comes back and tells ruff that harriet hates dogs because a dog named murray stole her sled named rosebud when she was a child and that murray was ruffs old employee and ruff still has the sled but then it brakes and he gets a call from his nephew glen saying that he will give him his lugeing sled if he enters the world lugeing competition dressed as a troll and then he gets a call from his great uncle mcruffmantosh saying that he can’t because one of his ancestors a thousand years got in a fight with a norwegian ice fairy and cursed all rugfmans who get on a sled but ruff decides to do it anyway and names the sled the rosebud 2 and plans to dedicate his win to harriet so he can get his job back but surprise scruff his evil brother is also at the competition and reveals that he sold ruffs stuff to pay for luge training so he could break the norwegian ice fairy curse and they team up and come in dead last place but make history as the first ever canine luge team and harriet is very moved by their performance and ruff asks her for his job back and she says she never fired him so the whole throng was a joke the whole time fabricated by ruffs nemesis spot spotnick who bought ruffs fancy pants to take charlene the poodle next door to the poodle ball but ruffs pants are so fancy that they have a self destruct button and he destructs them and embarrasses spot and then they announce the contestants on the show. like. who pitched that.