💜Juniper💜

sickly old man gets lost in the forest and encircled by benjamin button wolves which raise him into a healthy young baby

I’m both disappointed and amused. One of the furries I took with me to dig through trash last night stole an old phone and my flashlight. The phone is effectively a brick now. The flashlight was a large magnetic one I use to Bluetooth goon my cyborg chittoris. The fact that some furry stole what’s effectively a used protogen pocket pussy from me is absolutely hilarious. Like dog it ain’t even gonna work on you.

my apologies to the lovely lady who had only just begun constructing her beautiful spiderweb in the immediate path of the side door this morning when i, in my self-centered desire to vacate my home of assorted household refuse, came oafishly barging through the sum of her efforts. i shall meditate upon my actions and how they harmed not just her, but all women of the world, and endeavour to do better

I have to be real. I am a woman with penis misfortunes

I took a random group of furries with me to go explore a trash filled abandoned factory last night. It was the first furrycon they ever went to. I went back home and chilled with my girlfriend while eating a snack. I told her that everyone looks like a raccoon when eating edamame. Then we cuddled and fell asleep. I’m not even sure what I’m doing anymore, but I’m having fun doing it.

dick from a girl thats trying to chew through her muzzle to get at your neck

you invest in a stronger metal muzzle (smart), the frustration makes for great sex but it is a little unnerving feeling the cold bars pressed against your jugular all the time and hearing her teeth going chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp

My ford got a hydrolic module with a jumping bean in it

bro are drivers insane? That's like the second car-related post on Tumblr with the amount of hatred literally not seen under any other type of post ever

Yeah the jumping bean makes the car jump over/across

Road rage is so bad because it's the same rage anyone would feel at a computer working wrong, (slow internet, program not doing what you want, whatever), but it raises the stakes to "possibly literally life or death".

Basically it works by containing the power of the mexigan jumping bean to fire the cylanders inside of the wheel hydraulics and create a massive jumping force

all i do anymore is display symptoms

Basically it can get awesome when there are two or more girls