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Teen Vogue: Why is it so shocking people might date again after a breakup?

Just yesterday (June 15), photos of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston surfaced online, leading us all to believe that the two might possibly be dating. The pics showed Taylor and Tom getting pretty cozy on a rock, à la the opening scene from Grease.

The photos had barely been up for more than 10 minutes before the judgy comments started rolling in.

Sadly enough, the response from the internet was completely too predictable — almost immediately, Taylor Swift was trending on Twitter, and the majority of the comments have not been nice. In fact, many have been downright nasty, commenting that Taylor “moves fast,” and calling her a slut and a zillion other cruel names.

It seems like whenever Taylor does anything relationship-wise, the entire Twittersphere wants to wag their collective finger and tsk tsk in judgement. She’s either “too” fast, or “too” emotional. (Sidebar: Can we please stop telling females they’re “too much” of anything?) Just two weeks ago, when Taylor and Calvin Harris broke up, the internet had a field day shaming her, too. The day after their breakup was announced, the hashtag #IDumpedTaylorSwiftBecause was trending. A quick click through the hashtag will yield all sorts of misogynistic tweets full of slut-shaming bullying.

Can we pause for a second here and discuss how ridiculous this is? First of all, let’s all agree that dating someone new immediately after breaking up with someone else is completely and totally normal. It’s only human nature to seek comfort and love when you’re feeling down and heartbroken. Plus, we don’t know all the deets of Taylor and Calvin’s breakup (aside from his now-deleted tweet addressing it). Let’s face it, we still don’t know all the details about their breakup, and that’s OK – some things are meant to be kept private, even in a celebrity’s life.

Regardless of the deets, the fact that Tay’s dating someone new a couple of weeks later is not that weird. In fact, it’s not weird at all. A survey conducted by the University of Missouri revealed that 58% of people get together with a new person within the first month after a breakup. If anything, this should remind us that Taylor Swift is just like the rest of us. Some of us could really use that reminder.

Additionally, let’s keep in mind that Taylor and Tom have known each other for a while. They were seen together at the Met Gala, and Tom recently chatted with MTV about the first time he met Taylor. So it’s not like they just met a hot second ago.

BUT. Even if they did just meet — that’s still not reason to start cyber-bullying Taylor.

Let’s momentarily put aside the fact that it’s totally normal to date someone else, however soon it may be, after your relationship ends. Real talk, Taylor is getting slammed because she’s a female. And that’s the biggest problem of them all.

When a male celeb dates someone new immediately after a breakup, literally no one blinks an eye. Remember when Ashton Kutcher got engaged to Mila Kunis just months after his divorce with Demi Moore was finalized? Or, what about Leonardo DiCaprio, who is consistently praised in the media for his endless list of girlfriends and/or dates? You don’t see anyone starting nasty hashtags about Leo on Twitter. In fact, the Internet pretty much broke when Leo won his first Oscar, but when Taylor wins awards that are also extremely deserved, people can’t help but snark about how all her songs are written about ex-boyfriends. As though men don’t write about ex-girlfriends. Please see every Drake song ever written. (And, P.S., songs about exes are a tale as old as time, and there’s a reason for it – they’re relatable.)

Additionally, let’s not overlook the fact that all of this slut-shaming is directed at Taylor alone; no one is saying anything about Tom. It takes two to engage in a relationship, but no one is pointing any fingers at Tom. It’s not hard to realize why that is.

This double standard has to stop. We have to stop shaming women while simultaneously clapping men on the back for doing the exact same thing. We have to think about what sort of message this is sending to younger generations, how we are still telling girls that their sexuality is something to be ashamed of, while a boy’s sexuality is celebrated.

We have to give women – yes, even celebrities, especially celebrities – room to be who they want and to love who they want. The way we react to celebrities speaks volumes about who we are, and how we treat one another. The people who are calling Taylor Swift a “slut” on Twitter are the same people who will whisper it in the hallways at school without any remorse. We have to stop calling each other sluts, and we have to stop judging one another for our personal choices. We have to let each other live our own lives, free of judgment, free of shame. And for the shamers — we should be able to make the same choices as men without being shamed for it.

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