man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)
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@leng-m
man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)

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I've been thinking about serializing my next story. I started writing original stories 10 years ago, and at that time, I wanted to try the "publishing" process by going through multiple rounds of edits before I shared my stories. And while I do believe that my stories end up much stronger after editing, I think I'm way too slow of a writer for this to feel fulfilling. I noticed that by the time I'm ready to share a finished project, I am so tired of it, I just want to talk about the next thing I'm planning to work on. And I tend to disappear several years in between projects, because it's hard to hype up something that I haven't shared with anybody.
The downside, of course, is that I don't have the luxury of ensuring everything makes sense before people read it. I have a strong tendency to fall into plot holes, even when I already have an outline. And this still doesn't really solve the problem that I have shiny-new-idea syndrome, and I'm just as likely to lose interest in something I'm sharing regularly as I am with something I'm working on off-screen. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot just because I'm impatient, you know?
I also don't know the expectations people have for serialized original work. I'm a lot more familiar with standards and conventions for books. I have some familiarity with conventions for fanfic, but I don't really want to write fanfic-style stories? I still want the story to be tight and focused, but I just want to share it in instalments.
So I've been doing a bit more research into this, and it's turning out a lot more daunting than I thought. I assumed that because I have a fanfiction background, serialized novels aren't that much more of a leap, but looks like there's some demanding expectations that I doubt I'd meet (or even want to).
The typical update rate for serialized novels is once a week. More ambitious people can churn out something daily. Even in my best fanfiction days, I could probably write an instalment in two weeks, and I'm nowhere near as agile as that anymore (hello chronic illness). In fact, the reason I even started thinking about serializing my next work is I thought it would free me from the cycles of 2-3 months drafting sprints I did for my previous novels. But if I'm expected to update weekly, I basically get no breaks for a year at best.
Also the average length of each instalment tends to be between 1k-2k words. What? What can even happen in something that short? And it's even more astounding, because in addition to this expectation, there's also the expectation that each chapter needs to be a "mini" story in its own right, with cliff-hangers that will entice readers to come back for the next chapter. Maybe I'm just reading really long books or what, but I don't think a meaningful mini story with a cliff-hanger can develop in a space of 2k words?
Anyway, I get that serialized novels are more "formal" in a way than fanfiction, because a lot of serial authors find ways to monetize their work (which, tbh, is something I'm also starting to think about). And it's only fair that they need to establish a contract with their readers, so readers know they're getting something out of their investment. But also... I just want to share my stories? When I have time? And when I'm not feeling too ill? I feel like this is one of those triangles where you can only choose two sides.
I know everybody dreams of opening up a coffee shop, but I dream of opening up a non-coffee shop. I'd make frappes and lattes out of those chicory or barley alternatives that I somehow didn't know existed until last year. I'd sell non-caffeinated bubble tea and pastries for all my caffeine-averse girlies.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
best animal names: bugs with jobs edition

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The problem with being a Creative Person is I want to create all the things. I want to draw a little drawing. I want to write a fic. I want to write a book. I want to paint with watercolors. I want to paint with oil paints. I want to animate. I want to make something out of clay. I want to sew a dress. I want to play a song on the ukulele. I want to play a song on the cello. I want to play a song on the harp. I want to write a song. I want to write a musical. I want to make a webcomic. I want to make a video game.
I want to do EVERYTHING but I donβt have the TIME or MONEY or MOTIVATION
before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls
What month were you born in?
January
February
March
April
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June
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Doing a final project in my stats class, we have to pick a subject and collect data on it. We need at least 100 data points, and I figured this blog is big enough that a poll on here could get to that pretty easily!
Doing my project on if itβs more likely to be born in certain months :]
I have gotten the OK from my teacher to collect data using a Tumblr poll, btw. Iβm also going to have to send her this post as proof of where I got the data from / proof I didnβt just make up the numbers. So. Behave
The frustrating part about broaching issues of skin whitening, plastic surgery, and the overrepresentation of mestizos in the Philippine entertainment industry is that most Filipinos a) think the problem is blood quantum (so they don't want to touch the issue with a ten-foot pole), instead of colourism and lookism within the filipino community, or b) accept colonial mentality is at play but believe it's inherently a part of filipino culture and shouldn't be challenged. And this is why I don't think filipino beauty standards will ever change.
Source: @laceypaigepoetry on Instagram

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people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.
trying to have a conversation in a filipino gc but itβs made up of mostly foreign-raised filipinos and they only start talking when the subject is about representation in a fucking cartoon or whatever
hi my interests are in mindanao history and contemporary society with a special focus in moro and lumad communities
*crickets chirp*
i also like prehistory and am very interested in ice age philippines and our pre-austronesian ancestors in mainland china
*crickets chirp again*
would anyone like to talk about the earliest trade networks connecting what is now the philippine archipelago with modern day southeast asian states plus taiwan?
*crickets continue to chirp*
have you guys heard of that cartoon starring liza soberano and h.e.r.?
@austerity-audacity-asceticism not so much as precolonial but prehistorical, but here they are:
From left to right, top to bottom: pottery vase; burial jar; bronze weapon; clay fruit tray; and jade lingling-o. Photos #1β#4 by BΓ¬nh Giang
When discussing Southeast Asian trading networks, the Sa Huynh-Kalanay Interaction Sphere exemplifies the kind of cross-regional social-econ
As many scholars have noticed, the Indianized polity of Champa [established in AD 192] in central Vietnam provides functional parallels for
both excerpts are from βCoastal Connectivity: Long-Term Trading Networks Across the South China Seaβ (2013) by Hsiao-chun Hung et. al. related works (open access) include:
Taiwanese Prehistory: Migration, Trade, and the Maritime Economic Mode by Chin-yung Chao and Timothy Earle
Forged by Waves: Lingling-o and the Entangled Histories of Pacific Asia by Andre O. Magpantay
oohhh thank you so much for the links!!
i've always been vaguely aware that prehistoric merchants from the philippine islands traded with other south east asian countries (thank you, sibika!), but i always had the impression that this exchange of goods happened in the western coasts of the philippine islands. to know that that nephrite was found in central visayas.... interesting!
(and as a side note, it's so interesting to note that researchers believed that the jade was traded as blanks and later on carved by prehistoric filipinos; i wonder what their methods were for carving jade were, and if other carved jewelry would be sold to the neighboring asean countries)
which makes me now wonder how quickly goods were exchanged from SEA merchants to the hands of merchants belonging to the regions of the visayas and mindanao, and if prehistoric filipino merchants traveled as a group or individually.
i'll be sure to check out the other sources that you listed, as well as "Coastal Connectivity: Long-Term Trading Networks Across the South China Sea.β i really wished that this knowledge was taught more in (at the very least!) the university level
tagging also @local-heretic, who might find this interesting too!
graduate in history here, thanks for the tag!! it's so SO important to be looking at the histories of post-colonial societies to do away with the narrative that folks like us were "uncivilized" and "had no culture"
gift
good practical reflection for artists who feel like whatever theyre making just isnt working is the sit down and VERY HONESTLY ask yourself: what is the gift here? it can be a lot of things. what am i giving to myself? to the world? what feeling? what expression? art that resonates is art that GIVES
i think this is part of why theres such a disconnect for people who try to make 'art with ai.' if you REALLY ask yourself 'what is my gift here with this ai art?' the answer is nothing. no story to give, or real feeling, or new idea. then these folks they are confused when it doesnt resonate
time and attention are VERY precious. why would an audience give you one of the most existentially valuable things in the universe, their time, if they know you are not a giver in return? EVEN if it means you are giving back to yourself and writing for an audience of one. YOU STILL GOTTA BRING A GIFT
i just can't convey the frustration and sorrow that it's been to grow up at first without the internet and then watching it bloom into this useful, fun, connecting force you sometimes spent time on, only for it to degrade into this constant oppressive waste of time and energy where people are constantly pumping out algorithmically designed content for max algorithmic appeal and even the most simple search generates either no results or an infinite abyss of ai generated slop none of which is usable or correct. we briefly had a library of alexandria and then fed it into a paper shredder so advertisers could sell a random mash of pulp back to us at a premium.

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The downside of the advise that you should just start on a project even if you don't have the skills yet, is that a few years later you can barely look at it.
don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction