Why should all citizens get a certain amount of free food from the government to supplement what they can buy on their own? Thatâs the sort of stupid commie thing they do in *checks notes* the ancient Roman republic.
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Random worldbuilding: there's a region in the country with a strong culture of offering homecooked dishes as gifts for all occasion. And over time, they have accumulated an entire category of dishware that aren't any particular individual's property - they are constantly in rotation, being gifted and re-gifted as the dish holding a pie, a casserole, loaf of bread, the list goes on. Once a gift dish is in your possession, you need to make something in it as a gift in return - not necessarily to the one you received it from, but to someone nonetheless.
They're called lovers' dishes, but not for any romantic reasons. The name was adopted after people started deeming the previous name, courtesan bowls, inappropriate. The term courtesan bowl was also a slightly more cleaned-up term replacing a previous one, as the dishware were originally known as slut cups. As they, you understand, they get around.
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Okay hear me out Iâve been thinking. In ATLA water benders can bend anything containing water. They can pull water from humid air, drag it out of plants, and even bend the blood inside other peopleâs bodies.
This naturally brings me to one practice of water bending seemingly never mentioned in ATLA or even ATLOK: Piss bending.
Just think about it. Water benders stuck in fire nation prisons looking for any way out. They restrain them to give them water, but they canât control when you piss. With enough practice you could probably weaponise the mere act of pissing. I bet the water-bending men could piss like a firehose.
The fire nation seemingly never thought of this advantage. We never saw them restrain water benders in prisons while they piss. Maybe this was why the tried to kill them all in the south? Was piss the greatest enemy of the fire nation?
Furthermore, water benders can freeze water at will. What if they were to weaponise the piss inside another persons bladder to attack them from the inside? They could freeze their enemiesâ organs or even make them piss themselves and then attack them with their own fresh piss.
The possibilities of piss bending are endless and the fact that itâs not mentioned even once in ATLA has become a major plot hole for me.
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In the next decade, a biological laboratory develops a bacteria that can eat large plastic items such as used bottles in a matter of days. The bacteria escapes the lab and stars to infect people, feeding off of the microplastics in the blood and organs. A new pandemic starts, antibiotic resistance makes it harder and harder to treat, and millions upon millions die.
Now, the year is 2066 and your class is defined by your microplastic count.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *loading a pistol* moonâs stuck in a time loop. do you have extra ammo? this wonât be enough.
nasa employee: enough forâŚwhat?
astronaut: *finding extra clip of ammo, pocketing it, and getting back on the rocket-ship* donât worry about it!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *emerging from supply closet with a space harpoon, getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut:   oh hey u guys are back early
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: what?Â
nasa employee: how did you know what i was going to say?Â
astronaut: *punching in key pad code for base evacuation signal, getting back on the rocket-ship* i told youâŚmoonâs stuck in a time loop.
*red warning lights begin flashing*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *rifling thru bookshelf of operating instructions, selecting one that says âAIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,â getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: moonâs stuck in a time loop. hey, do you have anything to eat? iâm starving. *opens random drawer, finds nothing, closes it*
nasa employee: a time loo- uh, we donât have food in hereâŚwe canâtâŚeat in the control room, only the break-room.
astronaut: *sighs*
nasa employee:âŚmy lunch is in like 10 minutes, though, and if my lunch is actually STILL THERE and not STOLEN, AGAIN, i can share it with yo-
astronaut: nah, thatâs okâŚno time. *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* orâŚtoo much time. but thanks, anyway. OK, bye!
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: youâreâŚwelcome? wait, a TIME LOOP?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: yup.
nasa employee: âŚ?Â
astronaut: *sitting down next to nasa employee* soâŚdo you ever likeâŚwonder what the meaning of life is? the secrets of the universe?
nasa employee: arenât you supposed to be ON the MOON?!
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: hey, what the hell is that?
astronaut: thatâs the code red override klaxon. moonâs stuck in a time loop. oh, and thereâs an explosion imminent. But donât worry, we can deal with that tomorrow. So, you have any siblings? *pulls beer out of space suit, cracks tab* want a drink?
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: do you know frank in IT?
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: do you know frank, who works in IT?Â
nasa employee: yeah, but why are you guys back so early?Â
astronaut: moonâs stuck in a time loop. call frank, tell him thereâs a virus in the security patch and the systemâs compromised. then get the hell out of the base.Â
nasa employee: wait what? what? where are you guys going?Â
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* back to the moon. itâs stuck in a time loop. call frank!Â
nasa employee: *picks up phone* ugh, straight to voicemail. i wonder wha-
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: *grim silence*
nasa employee: i said, you guys are back earlyâŚhey, what are youâŚ?Â
astronaut: *randomly opening drawers until they find a pair of scissors and some duct tape, getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
*sticks head back out the door of the rocket-ship* by the way, if you go to the break-room in exactly 2 minutes and 45 seconds, youâll catch the person whoâs been stealing your lunches for the past two weeks.
nasa employee: what?! WHO IS IT?!
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: *running for the break-room* FUCK!!!!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *sits down, sighs, pulls a beer out from their spacesuit* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: âŚok, and? hang on, how did you get a beer? you canât have that in here.
astronaut: what do you know about project floyd?
nasa employee: I mean, the usual amount? iâm not really on the project anymore, why?Â
*alarm begins blaring*Â
astronaut: COME WITH ME TO THE ROCKET-SHIP, we donât have ti-
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: yeah. moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop. see you tomorrow. maybe.
nasa employee: WHAT?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?Â
astronaut: *sighs, rubs hands over face, and loads pistol, before getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop. and, uhâŚyou should call your mother like youâve been meaning to. and tell her youâre not actually mad and that you will come to dinner tonight. youâre gonna be hungry.
nasa employee: wait, what? WHAT?? how do you know my mom?! why am i gonna be -
*alarm begins blaring*Â
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what?
astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says âAIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,â starting to get back on the rocket-ship, but dropping everything with a horrendous clatter* FUCK! goddamn moonâs stuck in a time loop.
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyÂ
astronaut: moon's stuck in a time loop.Â
nasa employee: what? also, hey, whereâd you get that duffel bag?
astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says âAIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,â shoving them into the bag, and getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earl-Â
astronaut: *grabs nasa employee and kisses them passionately*Â
nasa employee: what? WHAT?!
astronaut: *loading a single pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moonâs stuck in a time loop, sweetheart.Â
nasa employee: what?!?
astronaut: a time loop!!! i love you!!! get out of the base!!! stay alive!!!
nasa employee: *presses fingers to lips, confused but intrigued, as alarm begins blaring*Â
nasa employee:âŚ.
nasa employee:âŚ
nasa employee: ho hum what a regular day at the office
*alarm begins blaring*
nasa employee: what the hell is that?!
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earl-Â
astronaut: *grabs nasa employee and kisses them passionately*Â
nasa employee: what? what?! WHAT!?!? also, hey, whereâd you get that duffel bag?
astronaut: *grabbing two pistols, an extra box of ammo, a pair of scissors, some duct tape, a space harpoon, and a booklet of operating instructions that says âAIRLOCK MANUAL OVERRIDE INSTRUCTIONS,â shoving them into the bag, then cupping nasa employeeâs cheek with free hand* moonâs stuck in a time loop.
nasa employee: the moonâs stuck in a what?!
astronaut: a time loop, sweetheart, but we donât have much time ourselves, so you have to listen to me RIGHT now
nasa employee: *faintly* âŚâsweetheartâ?!
astronaut: in 2 minutes and a few seconds, you need to go into the break-room and find frank.
nasa employee: wait, frank from IT?
astronaut: yes.
nasa employee: how do you know heâs gonna be in the break-room? i canât just call him at his desk right now?
astronaut: how do i know this?! because, one, time loop, ok? andâŚalsoâŚbecauseâŚheismaybetheguywhohasbeenstealingyourlunchfortwoweeks
nasa employee: that BASTARD i KNEW it
astronaut: BUT THATâS NOT WHATâS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. hey! listen to me! go in there, catch him red-handed with your burrito, and tell him lunch is on you FOREVER if he goes RIGHT NOW and checks the last security patch - because thereâs a virus and the whole systemâs compromised. then you need to get the hell out of this base, ok?
nasa employee: âŚok. ok. andâŚand what about you?
astronaut: *cocking pistol and getting back into rocket-ship with duffel bag* me? iâm gonna shoot for the moon.
EPILOGUE:
nasa employee: so, how many loops in total?
astronaut: i mean, it was hard to keep track. somewhere around six months, if i had to guess.
nasa employee: damn.
astronaut: yeah.
nasa employee: and in those six MONTHS, the best zinger you came up with was âshoot for the moonâ?
astronaut: hey, you know what, i had some other stuff on my mind!
nasa employee: i mean, i guess. it sounded like you found time to flirt with me each time.
astronaut: yeah, like i said. other stuff on my mind.
*they look at each other, blush, and look away*
astronaut: sooooooo. youâre sure your mom is cool with me coming over for dinner?
nasa employee: canât make the day any weirder. plus, i owe you for ratting out frank, right?
astronaut: he did help us save the world; we canât be too mad at him.
nasa employee: youâve had a little while to get over it, i might need some more time. and it wasnât even your food!
astronaut: ok, thatâs fair. what if i buy you lunch to make up for it?
nasa employee: hmm, when?
astronaut: tomorrow?
nasa employee: well, iâll have left overs from my mom, and you might too if you play your cards right. day after tomorrow?
astronaut: honestly, anytime is good for me.
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Had a dream that square clouds were a thing. A novelty thing that could be manufactured, and you could order one like a pizza. You just called the service like "hello I would like to get a square cloud at this time and this location" and also they cost more than a brand new car. They also didn't do anything, it was just a cloud that was square. The shape started falling apart with the air currents pretty much immediately. People were getting divorces because someone would order a square cloud as a surprise for their partner and the partner would be like "jerry what the fuck that was our whole savings account."
Also there was somebody (a community of several people?) who did divination from cloud shapes and they fucking hated these square artificial clouds. It was unclear to me then and remains unclear now whether they thought that you can't make valid predictions from artificially shaped clouds, or whether clouds of unnatural and impossible shapes would cause unnatural and impossible things to happen. I was too afraid to ask.
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