Mr. N

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

guys i have an idea for a movie it's about a musician ☺️ and it's a biopic 🤩 and it tells their story 🧐 because even though they were famous 🥳 they also had some struggles 😔 but also some good moments too 😊 don't you want to come relive their wikipedia page 🤗

don't look at the "controversies" section we're not putting that in the movie

feminist retelling of your parents' divorce

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

so which one of you is the butter and which one is the hot knife

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

you can just drop me off here. yeah this is perfect. no yeah. totally. thanks again. you too