Goodbye

Life is getting better. Sorta. I’ve been doing really serious hard drugs lately. It helped. Now I’m done with em. It only does so much you know?? I just want to be able to be happy without anything. I’m tired of drinking and smoking the sadness away. I feel weak. I’m over it. Kind of over it. They’re having fun. I need to have fun. Fuck it.

I’ve been feeling very suicidal as of late. I haven’t told anyone. I don’t want to bother them. But my death would. Do you see the issue I’m having??

Nothing was said. I feel as if she’s finally gotten over me 100%. That’s okay. Today would’ve been our 5 year anniversary. She didn’t say a word. Why would she?? I’m sure she’s onto bigger and better things. I’m tired. Exhausted. Heart broken. Now I can finally move on. It sucks but it’s necessary. Fuck everything. This month is the worst. Fuck everything.

I fucking suck :'(

I've made the decision to quit drinking almost a month ago and it's hard but I'm managing. Sick of of being sick. Sick of being complacent. Sick of being a fucking clown to everyone. Just sick of everything it turns me into.