Aina

Damn, this week flew by quick. It was much needed.

I basically sat in a car all day so I don’t have much to say. I thought a lot about my life and where it’s going, sometimes good , sometimes not so good.

Bro, I got like 12 hours of sleep today. wild. my body and soul needed that lol

I woke up at 10ish but didn’t get up until 1130, and then I went to my friend’s house for pizza and we both took a fat nap. It was very nice and appreciated. I enjoy seeing my friends from HS, it’s a nostalgic feeling and always a good time to catch up with them. This week has been a week of healing for my tired, tired soul. 

Y’all this break has been anything but relaxing but In a good way.

I’ve probably been getting around 4-5 hours of sleep a night which is much less than when I’m actually in school. Shocking & ironic bc it’s break????????

Today I was woken up by everyone in my room (everyone just loves being in my room for whatever reason like bruuH) & I went to Costco with tet. He flexed like $1K on a new MacBook. Wild.

Met with Dahlia and we went shopping at Leesburg Outlets bc I needed new jeans badly and we had a good time :-)

Happy thanksgiving!! It’s ham day!

I don’t like turkey so much

ZENAS IM SORRY I DIDNT LET YOU IN!!!

Today was a good day. It’s my first thanksgiving in a long while!!! So I’m happy to be back and celebrate with friends and family.

I went to the Takeshima’s with my mom and Tet and it was so nice to see their family, cook a bit with them, see their DOGGO and also be together with the Yangs! Jaunt was lit, se had so much fun.

I love thanksgiving, it’s my favorite holiday. Though I didn’t have my typical thanksgiving holiday appetite (which is huGeEe) I still enjoyed what everyone made and tasted the Cham Sarang (true looooovveeee). Thank you guys, I’m thankful for you guys too.

Damn it’s only day three and I’m having such a good time.

Today was so awesome. I met up with a close friend from HS that I hadn’t seen since I had left, so a good year and a half of time has passed. It was so refreshing to see them again and see how they’re doing, how much they could grow, and us reconnecting. I’m really happy about that. Usually when I feel really touched and grateful after meeting with someone, I shoot them a message of appreciation, but I felt I needed to do something different, I made my friend a “friend-appreciation-PowerPoint” and ya, it took me like 3 hours but definitely worth my time. I didn’t get much else done today but very good day.

guys yesterday was so fun. thank you for making it so fun.

today was so boring hahaha. I woke up at 1pm, took 1293810293 hours to get ready just to go grocery shopping at Lidl and get gas for the car. I also called my group for a group project so that went well. 

Being sick makes me sleepy.

A T-Mobile associate came knocking at my door today and it reminded me of when I would go fundraising. I answered the door ofc and let him say his line and I gave him my undivided attention. Yeah, good times. He was really nice!

Good day. Nice to have a day to just do nothing. But tomorrow’s gonna be super busy and productive.

yooooo lessgettittttttt

I’m so hyped for this team hahaha, it’s going to be so fun!

Today was actually really interesting. Though I spent most of the day cleaning while listening to Godible (highly recommend the combo), it was really fun yet exhausting. I’m so tired.

Another thing my mom and I talked about yesterday was my interest in oriental medicine and acupuncture. There’s a Korean member who also owns his own clinic here in Centreville and I brought up the idea of perhaps working with him and seeing what it’s like to practice Eastern Medicine. Funny thing is that my mom had an appointment with him this morning so she took me along with her to the clinic!

I learned a lot, even though it’s just a toe-dip/tip-of-the-iceberg kind of deal. He even lent me a book called Foundations of Chinese Medicine. It’s so dope. He told me about the basic principles of the body, of acupuncture, and oriental medicine in general. SO FASCINATING. Actually, he told me that he changed some practices/principles in OM by implementing DP into his work and he found that the results were highly effective. How can you argue the validity of DP at this point if you can literally use that POC knowledge to heal people?? Bruh that’s so mf lit.

Yeah, this tumblr condition is fun. I really like reading what my friends are really thinking and feeling in the context of church. Lowkey I feel like this condition got everyone sad lol

Today was so awesome in so many ways. It didn’t start so well because I woke up maaad late for church, but was also woken up by an unpleasant dream. Also had to jumpstart my mom’s car right after (shoutout to our neighbor tho). No fun. BUT going to church and being greeted by everyone and chatted up by the Japanese moms was a great feeling; driving to and from the meeting was soooo fun; seeing most of our lit staff in person and physically being together made the WS more real and exciting for me.. But what made this day really turn around was that it was my mom’s birthday and how we were able to share quite a lot of time together over some delicious sweet potato cake (it’s a Korean thing, you gotta try it). 

This chat with my mom hit so deep. Bold. Italicize. Underline. Size 21 font cuz that jaunt was providential. I’m exaggerating but OK OK OK

It was actually really sweet. Since we were both busy for most of the day, I decided to surprise her with a simple cake celebration when she came home. Ik, I’m so creative. But with Joon’s help, it actually turned out really well and said it was the best birthday ever! oooo we aint even got to the best part yet tho

I didn’t try to guide the conversation about her church life or anything related to that matter, I just genuinely wanted to know a lot about my mom and ask her questions I’ve always wondered. It led to some really funny moments, some deep ones, some pretty hurtful ones. I brushed up and learned a lot about my dad’s family tree and how some met the movement; learned a loooot about my mom and her journey through life in general; learned a loot about how I was brought into this world. I knew before that it wasn’t an easy feat on Heaven’s side, but now I learned it wasn’t easy for my parents, either.

Which brings me to hooooowwww much gratitude I feel welling up in my heart for my parents, True Parents, and most importantly, GOD! I couldn’t believe when my mom was sharing with me just how much effort went into me being born safely and healthy. So much to the point that even their church communities were offering 100 or 120 bows every evening at midnight for who knows how many days!!!! 

BRUH!

Who goes through the burden to offer a condition for a baby that 1) isn’t born, and 2) ISN’T YOURS??! anyway.

All of God’s power, Good Spirit World, and all of my family’s Good Ancestors were really working while I was in the womb and when I was born. My mom went into labor around 8pm the night before, but I was born the next morning around 12-12:30 AM during the time our members were offering their bows. And apparently, there was no forecast for snow that morning, but when they looked outside, the whole world was covered in a blanket of soft, white snow. It was as if God had cleaned the world and made it beautiful for you, she said. I kinda see it as maybe I’ll be someone who brings spiritual cleansing to the world, I’ll be someone who cleans the world for God. After all, cleaning is my favorite pass time and my #1 stress reliever. Cleaning the house is cleaning the soul!

Idk, I just keep thinking about that whole situation. I don’t believe in coincidences. It brings me back to my thoughts about how and why God gave birth to me in this family, at this time. Lmao God and SW really like to work in symbols, but a lot of times I wish they straight up told me what they need me to do, what my purpose is. maybe they are and I’m not listening.

I have so many thoughts and emotions to share but I know reading long posts can be mentally taxing... imma flex some good ol’ college bullet point notes. read the bold if you don’t want to read everything.

-Damn, Kaeleigh’s sharing must’ve been r e a l lit. That’s probably one of the biggest reasons why I don’t like my university: it’s so far away and poses a greater challenge to be more involved in the things I genuinely enjoy (most of which are at home). I wish I was there to share the experience, but I am even more happy for those who were able to be there and share an honest and open time. I’m inspired by yall’s inspiration lmao

-I absolutely love and appreciate how honest everyone is in this condition. And if you don’t feel like you are, I just appreciate that you’re either a) trying, or b) just here, sharing some fun stuff about your day. Reading Melissa’s genuine love for God (and ofc Jesus), Jahyun’s ability to confront her vulnerable spiritual state, Luke’s reflection dope jams, Bobo’s oddly satisfying yet sick gifs that give me peace, Zenas’s slept-on Starbucks company loool, Mikey’s ball-out Fridays. I really appreciate you guys. Inspires/forces me to be more honest about how I feel, where I am, what I want to do about it. I get why doing this condition is “different” on tumblr. issa viiibee.

-I can definitely practice gratitude more often... and I need to. There are too many things in my life that are going great, that I am so blessed to have, that I should be happy with.. It’s like my life is the brightest, cleanest, most comfy room I could ever imagine--yet, I still manage to overlook these luxuries and complain endlessly about the dust bunnies and low heating. Like damn, Aina, be grateful that you’re alive at least. Be grateful that God gave you a life full of things and people to be grateful for. Sheesh.

-but as much as I beat myself up for not being better/smarter/kinder/more grateful/more spiritual, I am rediscovering the path to being kinder to myself and loving myself. you know, that whole, “you have to love yourself before loving anyone else.” I definitely am not as nice to myself as I am to others. Do you guys think TF or TPs or JESUS had personal insecurities? Or maybe since they believed and knew God so well that they, too, believed what God saw in them? If it is, how painful is it for God to hear/see His own children hate their body/character/existence? Would I treat others how I treat myself? food for thought.

-I came home from university this morning and it’s. so. freaking. nice (doing my best to limit swearing). I truly feel grateful. I walked through the door to see my mom washing the dishes in the kitchen, she greeted me with wide, embracing arms, just repeating my name. I felt like I had come back from a MMBK/fundraising condition and everyone greets you saying “You did well. You were victorious, you worked hard, thank you.” at least on stf lol. My mom cried while she was hugging me. Mom is pretty emotional. But I can understand why: Dad’s church trips to Korea are more frequent and longer than ever, Toya is away at military bootcamp, Tet is at UVA and I’m at VTech. Also being at the tail-end of everyone’s call, hearing that your children are suffering/dying/stressed/anxious at school isn’t great, that your oldest son is also probably dying at bootcamp, and your husband is exhausted from investing all of his energy into his role in providence. I’m sure it’s not easy to hear that your whole family is struggling and you’re the glue that keeps it all together. Mom is always the glue.