Feral

This is the first time I’ve written anything in a while... these past few years on the road have left little time for computers, or solitude, but I’m going to try and post more this lap around the country, and spend more time alone. For the first time in my life I will be traveling in my own vehicle, by myself...  well, with Dog as my co-pilot anyway.

Being alone is something I have always struggled with. I’ve never really learned how to handle relying on me, myself, and I. I crippled myself early on allowing myself to be cared for by significant others, never allowing myself to learn to fly solo.  Being single for the first time in like ten years has really opened my eyes to alot of the problems I had existing within myself as a result of my sociological conditioning. Growing up in a patriarchal culture has ingrained in me the subconscious need for existence assistance and approval from my male peers, but as I reach into my twenty-sixth year I will say no more. I will shed the old skin on the membrane of my mind and climb from my cocoon into this fresher, clearer kind of thinking.

I’m terrified and excited all at once. This is the part of the journey where my hands shake as the nerves quake my body. I just have to remember to breath. I wish i could have faith in the Verse to protect me like I used to but the days of being a blissful hippy are over, I’ve seen too much of the real world to stay so naive. I can’t depend on good vibes to get by, but I can depend on myself to survive, and in all honesty that’s starting to feel even better...