i'm looking at you

Dear Jisub,

You're gone now, at least for a bit, which crushed me a little bit. I hope you come back because I'm so hopelessly, ridiculously, pathetically dependent on you, which makes me feel like such a damn fool. I want you to remember that you're fantastic and wonderful and, above all, good. You're so very good, you might not be able to see it but I do. You've never treated me with anything but kindness and understanding, even when I didn't deserve any of it. I've told you what I think about you time and time again and nothing will change that. You will always be someone special to me, which seems laughable to you right now, I'm sure. I said all these things and then disappeared so I'm sure you don't think very much of me right now, you're probably also a bit upset and disappointed but know I meant every word of it. I'll be right here, telling you how beautiful and good you are as long as it takes for it to sink in.

I didn't think you'd ever mean quite so much to me, which is terrifying yet fantastic at the same time. I think so much of you and would do anything for you. I just hope you understand my feelings, even if you don't return them. You'll always be my Jisub; the person I want to hold onto when I'm sad, the person I run to when I just want everything else to disappear. You're where I find my comfort from everything horrible and ugly in the world. Being able to bring a smile to your face is all I want. I'm selfish and bratty and I want to keep you to myself but I know that's not who you are and I would never ask you to be anything you aren't. 

Dear person I hate,

Dear person I like,

Dear ex boyfriend,

Dear ex girlfriend,

Dear ex bestfriend,

Dear bestfriend,

Dear Santa,

Dear Mom,

Dear Dad,

Dear future me,

Dear past me,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I had a crush on,

Dear [future] girlfriend,

Dear [future] boyfriend,